CHAPTER FOUR,
secrets behind a smile.

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      "LET'S HOPE THIS GAME WILL BE A CLEAN ONE," DORCAS MUTTERED from her seat. It was currently later in the afternoon; they had all finished with their Quidditch practice a few hours ago and were currently seated on the Gryffindor's side of the stands as they waited for the anticipated match between the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs to begin.

Evan let out a snort at Dorcas' words, "Knowing Diggory? Absolutely not." Anastasia's lips quirked into a small grin at that.

"Bloody hell, it's getting chilly now." Barty shivered as he rubbed at his arms to generate some warmth. It was as if Barty's words triggered another wave of cool air. Goosebumps crawled up on Anastasia's arms and her hands moved up and down to rub against her flesh. The crowd started to get rowdier as more students piled onto the stands.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for the first Quidditch game of the year?" The voice of Remus Lupin made Anastasia perk up. A laugh of disbelief left her lips as she saw that he was all decked out in red attire. Everything about his outfit screamed Gryffindor. "First of all, I will begin by announcing the losing—I mean opposing team!" A chorus of angered shouts left the Hufflepuff's side of the stands at that, and Professor McGonagall, who was beside him, gave him a warning glare. But, Remus paid no mind to both, "Please give a warm welcome to the Hufflepuffs!"

"Boooo!" Barty yelled, waving his hands exasperatedly. The streak of red paint on his cheek was slightly smudged as his scarf brushed against it. Dorcas snorted upon seeing how enthusiastic he was to cheer for his rival house but knowing Barty—when the day comes that Slytherins will go against the Gryffindors, he will talk complete smack about them and purposely get on their nerves.

"Can the Gryffindors hurry up?" Evan huffed, "They're taking too long." Regulus rolled his eyes at the Rosier boy's impatientness.

Anastasia nudged him with a laugh, "Relax. They'll come out soon. Besides, Dora's not here yet, and I would hate to see the match start when she hasn't arrived." Evan sighed and nodded in agreement, he didn't want to miss the beginning of the match without his twin sister as well.

"Hi, guys!" Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Anastasia turned and saw Pandora rushing towards them with her hand settled on the arm of a platinum-blonde male. Barty let out a low whistle and smirked whilst crossing his arms over his chest to make himself more intimidating.

"So, this is the person who stole little Rosier's heart?" Xenophilius blushed as Evan burst out laughing. Pandora gasped dramatically and slapped both Evan and Barty on their arm.

"Oh, stop that both of you!"

"I was just asking a question!" Barty placed his hands up in surrender before his gaze narrowed at the Lovegood boy. "If you hurt her, I'll Crucio you." A chorus of quiet snorts left the group except for Dorcas.

The Meadowes girl coughed loudly and her eyes went wide as she gave Xenophilius a reassuring look, "He's only joking. Don't fret." Dorcas turned over at Barty and gave him the stank eye, but the boy only gave her a shrug in response. Pandora sighed and pinched the nose of her bridge before she dragged Xenophilius a decent amount of feet away from Barty. The Rosier girl chose to sit at the far end of where they sat, right beside her older brother.

The enthusiastic voice of Remus cut through the air again and the stand where the Gryffindors stood immediately burst into roaring cheers at his words, "And the best Quidditch team to ever live, please give a very warm and loud welcome for the Gryffindors!" Anastasia had to cover her ears for a brief moment because of how loud it was, the sound rang through her head which caused a slight pinch to her temple. The noise of brooms flying by was heard as the Gryffindors circled the pitch before finally, they formed into a small group in front of the announcer's stand.

Anastasia's eyes were quick to find James' form who sat cockily on his broom, his posture tall and firm. Her gaze trailed down to his attire and she had to admit, he looked really good. His hair was ruffled and messy as it always had been, but it was even messier because of the harsh wind and Anastasia found him to be. . . beautiful.

"You're staring too hard." Regulus' voice broke Anastasia out of her thoughts. She stiffened and an embarrassing red flush spread across her cheeks. Regulus laughed loudly at the expression on her face and his laughter only grew in volume when Anastasia pushed him in retaliation.

"Shut up, Reggie!"

"Love you too, Annie."

Anastasia rolled her eyes fondly and turned away from him to focus on the game that was about to start. She glanced over to where Remus was and watched as he rubbed his hands together, a huge smirk curled on his lips too. Her eyes darted to Madam Hooch who hovered below the two teams and watched as she shouted some words—most likely the rules—before finally, she placed her whistle between her lips and blew, signaling that the match had now begun.

"And the match begins!" Remus hollered, his eyes twinkling in complete excitement which made Anastasia laugh, "James—I mean Potter, grabbed the Quaffle first as always. He zooms past Diggory—Ha! Loser!—Ow, Professor, sorry!" Remus let out a pained shout as McGonagall gave him a stern smack on the arm for his comment. Barty cheered him on, wholeheartedly agreeing with the Lupin's boy statement.

"And Potter scores! Ten points to Gryffindor! Kiss my bloody arse Hufflepuffs!" The Gryffindors immediately burst into booming cheers and screams. Another shout from Remus rang through the pitch as well. Anastasia's lips twitched into an amused grin at the exasperated look on Professor McGonagall's face. Anastasia was quick to catch the cocky smirk on James' face as he zoomed by the announcer's stand, the Potter boy gave his best friend a wink before he flew back into the direction of where the Quaffle was.

"Longbottom! Get the snitch so we can take the win for this damn game already!" The voice of Mary made Anastasia turn around and a faint chuckle left her lips at the girl's attire. She was wearing something similar to Remus, but she had red-painted lines across her cheeks just like Barty. Alice was next to her cheering for her boyfriend whilst Lily was sat beside them with a grim expression on her face, the Evans girl looked like she did not want to be there.

"Hey, I'll be right back! I'm going over to where Mary, Lily, and Alice are!" Anastasia shouted, leaning over to Regulus. He gave her a thumbs-up before turning back to the game and shouting at the Hufflepuffs alongside Evan. Anastasia snorted and tapped on Dorcas' shoulder, "Wanna come with me?"

"I'm fine, you can go," Dorcas answered with a shrug, "Someone needs to watch the boys here, god knows what—that's a fucking foul! Hooch! What the hell are you doing!" Dorcas yelled angrily as she rushed forward to where Evan, Barty, and Regulus were standing.

"Madam Hooch! That was a foul! Are you bloody serious!" Remus screeched into the microphone. McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily. Anastasia shook her head and chortled at the scene, she could tell that Professor McGonagall was close to writing her resignation letter. She began her way over to where Mary, Lily, and Alice were sitting and gave the three girls a brief hug when she arrived.

"Ana!" Lily cheered, a bright smile sat on her lips.

"Ana, hello!" Alice beamed in excitement before she gasped dramatically and rushed forward to the front of the stands, "Frank! Watch out!" Anastasia blinked at the sudden whiplash, a slight laugh left her lips as she shared a look with Lily. She turned to Mary who was laughing at Alice's retreating figure.

"Hi, Ana!" Mary grinned, but then a furious look overtook her features as her eyes caught the sight of something and she hurried forward following to where Alice stood, her right arm outstretched towards the Quidditch players, "Hey! Watch yourself, Preece!"

Anastasia paused, "I see some people are completely immersed in the game." Lily sighed and shook her head at the pair's antics. A giggle departed from Anastasia's lips as she took a seat beside the scarlet-haired girl, "I'm doing great, by the way. You're doing well too, I suppose?"

"Always." Lily winked before the Gryffindors behind her jumped and screamed at the Hufflepuffs which startled her a bit. "Bloody hell, I can never understand why people are so interested in this sport. It's so dangerous!"

Anastasia shrugged, "It's a great sport if you educate yourself on it. Fun too."

"You're only saying that because you're the captain of your team." Lily deadpanned, "And you're a brilliant player too." Anastasia merely winked in response.

"Longbottom caught the snitch! One hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor! Gryffindor wins!" Remus screamed as he jumped up from his seat. The entire Gryffindor stand cried out with piercing cheers. Lily's eyes went wide, her arm shot out and she gripped onto Anastasia as the stand began to shake from the students who were jumping up and down in excitement.

"We won!" Mary screeched as she ran back to the two girls, she pulled them into a tight embrace before running off to her other friends with Alice and celebrating with them.

"Are you okay?" Anastasia mused, she raised an eyebrow at Lily who looked a bit pale.

"No, I need to get out of here. Now."

Anastasia chuckled and helped her to her feet, "Alright, c'mon." As she guided Lily out of the stand, she made sure to grasp onto the Evans girl tightly so that she wouldn't lose her to the crowd. Thankfully, the two girls made it out safely onto the Quidditch pitch and she saw a ton of Gryffindor students running toward their team with a look of delight plastered on their faces.

Before she left the field with Lily, Anastasia caught James' gaze and a warmth filled her stomach at the grin that he shot at her. She smiled back and mouthed, "Congrats."

James seemed to soften and gave her a curt nod, the grin still stretched on his lips as he mouthed back at her, "Thanks."

. . . . . . .

Some time passed, and it was now dinner. Anastasia had a Prefect meeting where she sat beside Remus as usual. The raven-haired girl shared some words with him about how she found his commentary absolutely hilarious which made Remus blush. The Lupin shyly explained how he wasn't usually like that, only Quidditch brought that side out of him. Anastasia had a good laugh and told him she liked seeing him like that and also told him to be more carefree.

"I'm so hungry." Anastasia broke out of her thoughts and glanced up from her plate, an amused smile grew on her lips at the famished look on Evan's face. "I feel like I could eat everything on this table."

"Fat arse." Barty cackled and Evan punched him in the shoulder which caused a pained groan to leave the Crouch boy's lips. Regulus snorted at the comment before he let out a cough as Evan shot him a death glare. Dorcas rolled her eyes and grinned before she shoved a piece of turkey inside her mouth.

"Mind your fucking tongue." Evan narrowed his eyes at the boy beside him, but Barty simply smirked in response.

Just then, a hoot was heard and every student's head turned towards the entrance of the Great Hall. An owl was flying towards the Slytherin table and Anastasia froze as she recognized the owl. It was her family's owl, Candor. His claws grasped tightly on a single letter and Anastasia instantly knew who wrote it. Candor dropped the letter in front of her and gave a small hoot before he flew away.

Regulus stared at the letter with worried eyes, he glanced up to see Anastasia, and the girl gave him a weak smile before she hesitantly grabbed the letter and slowly started to unveil it.

Anastasia,
I hope all is well and that you're settled back into Hogwarts perfectly. I wanted to write and tell you that you're expected to join the ranks of your grandfather after finishing your education. You knew that this would happen, so do not disappoint us. The Dark Lord is looking forward to meeting you. I expect you to bring pride to our family's name.

Toujours Pur,
Catherine.

Anastasia gripped the letter so intensely that her knuckles began to turn white. Regulus furrowed his eyebrows together in concern at the paled look on her face. Barty and Evan shared a glance before they gazed back at Anastasia, both of them had a slight feeling on who wrote the letter to her.

Dorcas sat up straighter and her voice came out timidly, "Ana. . . ?"

Anastasia crumbled up the letter and peered up at Dorcas, giving her a strained smile, "I'm fine. I think I'll turn in for the night. I'm feeling a bit tired already. Goodnight everyone." With one last nod, she quickly got up and rushed out of the Great Hall. Regulus frowned and was quick to stand up from his sitting position but came to a halt when Dorcas' arm shot out, grabbing onto him.

"No," she shook her head, "She needs space. You know her."

"I know." Regulus pursed his lips as he stared after Anastasia's retreating figure, "It's because I know her, I know exactly what will happen."

. . . . . . .

Anastasia ran as far away as she could from the Great Hall, desperate to seek for a safe place where she would be able to hide away from wandering eyes. Her eyes flickered around frantically and she breathed out a quick relieved exhale upon seeing an empty corridor.

A strangled gasp left her lips as she placed a hand on the wall. Anastasia felt like she was completely immersed underwater; the day that she had been dreading had finally arrived and she felt nauseous. Her chest caved in, and her body collapsed to the ground, due to the anxiety that fueled inside of her upon receiving the letter from her grandmother, and no matter how hard she fought to breathe, the world stayed distant and suffocating.

She had never felt so utterly powerless in her life before. It was as if she were a little china doll, and with one simple touch, one small crack, everything that she had fought to hold together within herself would fall into ruins, and she was terrified that she would be left with pieces that were far beyond saving.

Anastasia tilted her head back against the stone wall as her breaths continued to come out in staggered pants; she shut her eyes tightly, choking out a quiet sob. The sudden thought of her parents that popped up in her mind made her eyes well up with tears, and she gripped at her chest, "Mum. . . Dad." The little girl in her cried out for her parents, she begged for them to come save her, but they couldn't. They were gone, and despite the loving friends that she had, she felt lonely. She is lonely.

"Lee?" Anastasia heard a voice call out to her, but it was muffled. She wasn't able to register their words as her sobs overpowered her sense of hearing. A sudden sound of trousers being scraped against the floor was heard, and the next thing that Anastasia knew was that her hands that laid on her chest were now placed on a firm and toned chest. Her eyebrows furrowed together and her blurred eyes shot up to the face of the person, blinking as she tried to decipher who the stranger was.

A lone tear fell down her cheek as her vision began to clear up and her heart froze at the familiar boy. His glasses sat crookedly on the bridge of his nose and his eyes round in concern.

"James?" Anastasia managed to get out. James placed his hand over her hand that rested on his chest and he gripped onto it tightly.

"Follow my breathing, Ana." James instructed softly, "Can you name me five things that you see?"

Anastasia gasped quietly, her fingers curled at James' shirt, "I see the moon, windows, uh—the stars, trees, and you."

A small smile grew on James' face, "Good. Now, four things you can feel."

"You, your shirt, the ground, and the wall."

"You're doing great, Ana. Now, list three things you can hear."

"I—The owls, the wind, and your voice."

"That's it. Two things you smell."

"The food from the Great Hall and your cologne."

"Last one. One thing you can taste."

"My tears." Anastasia finished with a soft exhale. Her vision had completely cleared up now and her breathing managed to slow down. The rhythmic beating of James' heart under her touch helped her immensely and she hated how it did. She pulled her hand away from his chest and gingerly placed it in her lap. She watched as James relaxed and a look of ease overtook his tense features, the bespectacled boy switched from a kneeling position to a sitting one.

"How are you feeling?"

"How did you know that would work?" she asked, avoiding his question.

James merely smiled in response, "A good friend of mine often gets panic attacks, so I learned how to help him. Now answer my question, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," Anastasia muttered, "You. . . You helped—a lot." Her words came out quietly, not really wanting to admit the fact that James helped her deeply.

"I'm glad." James grinned before his face slowly converted into a serious expression, "What happened? Wait—sorry, you don't have to tell me. Don't mind—"

"James, you're fine," Anastasia chuckled faintly, "I—uh, it's just family things. Pureblood this and Pureblood that, y'know?" she lied half-heartedly, it wasn't technically a full lie as it was about her family, she just held back the fact that her said family wanted her to become a Death Eater.

"Oh, yeah." James nodded with a grimace, "I know all about them. I know that shit sucks, I'm sorry."

"It's whatever." Anastasia breathed out as she leaned back against the wall, her gaze darted up to the ceiling, "I'm used to it."

"Well, you shouldn't be." James shot back with a huff. Anastasia's lips twitched at the angered tone in his voice. A moment of silence passed before James' voice filled the empty corridor again, "I'm sorry."

Anastasia hummed and trailed her eyes back to James, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "What for?"

"For how I've treated you over the past few years." James shrugged with a sad smile, "I never really gave you a proper apology, so here I am. I was an arsehole, and it was wrong of me for making you go through the things that you did. And I lied too." Anastasia raised an eyebrow, silently telling him to go on, James pursed his lips and spoke out hesitantly, ". . . Perhaps, I am starting to like you."

Anastasia grinned slowly, "Aw, you have a crush on me?"

"Oh shut it, Lee." James rolled his eyes, but Anastasia knew he meant that jokingly from the way his lips quirked up, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves here."

A soft giggle left Anastasia's lips at his words. A giggle that made James' heart warm. Her eyes shut closed as a grin spread across her face which made James unconsciously smile.

"Anyone tell you that you have a nice smile?" James asked and his eyes went wide as his words registered through his mind.

"I think I should get ahead of myself here." Anastasia mused, her eyes shined in amusement, "You're totally crushing on me."

James huffed and gave her a gentle shove, "Shut up." But the grin on Anastasia's face only grew at his words and James couldn't help but laugh too. The empty corridor that was filled with gut-wrenching cries was now filled with joyous laughter, all thanks to James Potter.

And as Anastasia watched James laugh, her heart smiled at the sight—perhaps she was beginning to like him too. The letter from her grandmother completely vanished from her mind, all because of James.

That was the beauty of James Potter; he had the power to remove anything terrible from someone's mind and cheer them up instantly. She believed that he was the literal personification of the sun, the glowing light that beamed lustrously in one's life.

And as their laughter grew, Anastasia clung to the fragile hope that this moment would stream into new ones—her heart ached with a single desperate plea as she stared at him: don't leave me too.

. . . . .

author's note! — So. Haha...
sorry for the long wait but here's chapter four woooooo!!! i hope you enjoyed it and the little angsty ending paragraph i wrote <33333

perhaps we will get more fluff in the next chapter or perhaps not, we'll see hehehe

leave a comment/vote <33333