though it's been so many months
i can't help but think of
all the ways you made me love you.
my memories of you are so loud
that i'm surprised no one else can hear them.
i only saw how toxic you were
when i breathed fresh air
and so i removed my heart
from your hands,
and built a wall between us so wide
that not even your sledgehammer smile
could get through.
so yes, maybe i lost you
but i found myself in the process.
and i will remember how you left,
and why i will never let you return.