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chapter sixteen: back to jakku
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THE SOUND OF HIS cell doors opening rouses Poe from his unconscious state. Wordlessly, he lifts his slumped head and squints at the figure entering the room. When his eyes focus on the room's new occupant, he lets out an audible sigh of relief. It's just a stormtrooper; not the masked figure that had brutally assaulted his mind.

The trooper makes its way towards the guard standing a few feet away from Poe's shackled figure. "Ren wants the prisoner," the newcomer says, voice metallic and tinny inside of its helmet.

Poe inhales sharply at that, knowing that he's completely unprepared to handle whatever tortures might be thrown at him next. His head is still throbbing in pain and his body feels too weak to even hold itself up. He already took everything from me, Poe thinks miserably. What else could he want?

"I wasn't told to expect you," the other guard replies stiffly.

The trooper scoffs. "Do you want to be the one who dares to question Kylo Ren's orders?"

Immediately, the other trooper shakes their head rapidly. "No, no. I'll release him; I'll release him."

With trembling hands, the guard frees Poe from the shackles that had chained him down. The newcomer drags Poe from his spot in the interrogation chair, jamming their blaster into his side before marching him down the hallway. Each step makes Poe's head throb; still fuzzy and disoriented from his interrogation. All of the fight has gone out of him as he allows the trooper beside him to guide him down the corridors of the Star Destroyer.

"Turn here," they say roughly, nudging Poe with their blaster.

Stumbling slightly, Poe frowns and catches his balance as he takes in his surroundings. The trooper had brought them into a dimly lit hallway with no other people in it — not to Ren, like he said he was going to.

"Listen carefully," the trooper says in a low voice, speaking in quick, sharp syllables. "If you do exactly as I say, I can get you out of here."

Poe blinks, wondering if Ren really messed his head up that badly or if he's just hallucinating at this point. "If ... what?" He demands, shaking his head in confusion.

The trooper sighs before removing their helmet quickly, revealing a younger man with dark brown skin and buzzed hair. He's young for a stormtrooper — at least, he seems young. There's an innocence to his face that startles Poe, who has never seen behind his enemies' masks before.

"This is a rescue," the young man whispers, eyes wide with fear and adrenaline. "I'm helping you escape. Can you fly a TIE fighter?"

Gaping slightly, Poe stares at him. "Are you with the Resistance?" He asks, wondering if Leia had a secret stash of stormtrooper operatives deep undercover in the ranks of the First Order that Poe never knew about. It definitely wouldn't surprise him if she did.

"What?" The trooper demands, wrinkling his nose before shaking his head. "No, no, no. I'm breaking you out. Can you fly a TIE fighter?"

"I can fly anything," Poe interrupts him.

A grin spreads its way across the trooper's face and he lets out a small, hysterical laugh. The sight brings a smile to Poe's face as well, though he's still very confused. "Why are you helping me?"

The trooper's face turns solemn; smile disappearing instantly. "Because," he says dramatically, "it's the right thing to do."

Poe doesn't buy that answer for a second. He's done enough bullshitting himself to know it when he sees it. From the trooper's nervous appearance, Poe knows there's something more to this man's story. Still, their fates are tied together now and Poe isn't about to throw away his only chance of escape. If this goes right, he thinks, I just might be able to find BB-8 before they do and complete my mission. It's that thought alone that kicks him into gear.

"You need a pilot," Poe states, jutting his chin towards the trooper and the man nods rapidly.

"I need a pilot," he agrees, shoulders sagging slightly.

A crazed sort of grin makes its way onto Poe's face as he feels adrenaline starting to work its way through his system. "We're gonna do this," he says confidently and the trooper squeaks nervously.

"Yeah?" He asks, voice high and unsure, and Poe nods in confirmation.

"Yeah."

Though obviously nervous, the trooper slips his helmet back over his face and once again jams his blaster into Poe's side, resuming their appearance as guard and prisoner. Part of Poe worries that he's making a mistake — that perhaps the trooper is nothing more than a setup to humiliate him further before his execution — but he doesn't have time to think on that. This man is his only hope.

     "Stay calm, stay calm," the trooper mutters under his breath as they make their way into the ship bay.

     Poe looks at him through the corner of his eye. "I am calm," he says and it's true.

     This is familiar territory for him, in a sense. He'd done crazier things than this before on other missions —  maybe. Or maybe not. Hijacking a TIE Fighter to escape a First Order Star Destroyer with a runaway stormtrooper is definitely somewhere near the top of his list of abso-fucking-lutely insane things he's done.

     "I'm talking to myself," the trooper replies and Poe can't stop himself from giving the man a strange look.

      As they draw closer to one of the empty TIE Fighters, Poe feels a thrill of fear and anticipation run through him. When they're within a close enough distance, the trooper nudges him into a run and the two of them hastily enter the ship's cockpit.

     Immediately, Poe makes a beeline for the pilot's seat and settles into the chair, shrugging his jacket off while examining the foreign ship's controls. "I've always wanted to fly one of these things," he admits excitedly, glancing over his shoulder. "Can you shoot?"

     He watches as the trooper removes his helmet and settles into the seat behind Poe. "Blasters, I can," he offers and Poe shrugs.

     "Okay, same principle," he tells the younger man, switching on different dials in the cockpit to prepare the ship for takeoff. "Use the toggle on the left to switch between missiles, cannons, and mag pulse; use the sight on the right to aim, triggers to fire."

     "This is very complicated," Poe hears the trooper mutter as he powers up the ship, preparing it for liftoff.

     The TIE Fighter rises off the ground and for a second, Poe thinks they're home free — until the damn thing lurches and stops mid-air. He glances over, seeing that the ship is still tethered to support cables attached to the deck of the Star Destroyer. An amateur mistake, really, but Poe is confident in his own abilities to remedy it. Most likely.

      "I can fix this," he yells, punching random buttons on the dash and flipping various switches.

     Outside of the ship, enemy troopers are already lining up with weapons and opening fire on their ship. As Poe attempts to find the switch to detach the cable, he hears the TIE beginning to open fire as his companion provides them with some defense, blasting troopers and other ships alike.

     Finally, after much fiddling, Poe finds the right switch and the TIE springs free from its bindings. "I got it!" He shouts, taking over the ship's controls and launching the vessel into the black abyss of space outside of the ship bay of the Star Destroyer.

     His stomach lurches with a sudden thrill as they go zooming through the sky. "Woooahhh!" He cries with excitement; perhaps enjoying this a bit too much. "This thing really moves!"

     Forcing himself to focus, Poe brings the TIE Fighter back around in the direction of the Star Destroyer. "Alright," he instructs his fellow escapee. "We gotta take out as many of these canons as we can or we're not gonna get very far."

     "Alright," the trooper says, sounding nervous but determined. Poe has to give him credit for that.

     "I'm gonna get us in position," he warns the younger man. "Just stay sharp."

     He steers the TIE around different obstacles on the Star Destroyer's hull, bobbing and weaving until he's able to get a good position for his partner to fire at the enemy cannons from. "Up ahead," he calls, locking in on their path. "You see it? I've got us dead centered. It's a clean shot."

     "Got it," the man replies faintly.

     Poe increases the speed of their ship, listening as the weapons system finds its target and the guns fire perfectly, blasting the enemy cannons into smithereens in a huge, fiery explosion. Their ship spirals through the blast, coming out clean on the other side, and Poe lets out a triumphant shout, hearing his companion do the same.

     "YES!" The trooper whoops as Poe takes them through an evasive maneuver to get away from the ship's remaining guns. "You see that? DID YOU SEE THAT!?"

     "I saw it," Poe confirms, grinning widely. A small part of him wishes the rest of his team were here with him, but he pushes that down quickly. He would see them again soon. "What's your name?"

     "FN-2187," comes the reply from the seat behind him.

     "FN — what?" He demands, mildly horrified that the man had been assigned a combination of numbers and letters for a name like a common protocol droid instead of a human being.

     "That's the only name they ever gave me," the man replies and Poe shakes his head in disgust.

     "Well, I ain't using it," he says dismissively, focusing on his piloting once more. "FN, huh? Finn. I'm gonna call you Finn. Is that alright?"

     "Finn," the trooper repeats. "Yeah, Finn! I like that!"

     The sound of the excitement in his voice makes Poe's heart break a little in spite of the grin that comes onto his face. He can't imagine how terribly the First Order must treat their soldiers if Finn is that excited about the simple decency of being given a real name.

     "I'm Poe," he tells Finn. "Poe Dameron."

     "Good to meet you, Poe."

     "Good to meet you, too, Finn."

     Poe thinks they're just out of range, zooming far and wide away from the enemy command ship, until he hears the sound of something on his radar detector warning them of incoming blasts from the ventral cannons.

     "Something's coming towards you," he warns Finn. "My right, your left. Do you see it?"

     "Hang on," is Finn's reply before Poe hears the sound of the guns being fired rapidly. "I see it!"

     One of Finn's shots knocks one of the missiles pursuing them out of the sky, blasting it into a million pieces. "Nice shot!" Poe commends as he steers the ship around back towards the desert planet below them.

     Jakku is only minutes away from their current location and Poe has to go back for BB-8. His astromech droid is more important than anything else right now — even his own life. Poe has to get his droid back — especially after he screwed up his mission so miserably the first time around and let that bastard Kylo Ren pull the information about the map from his brain.

     "Where are you going?" Finn demands from his seat, sounding extremely alarmed.

     "We're going back to Jakku," Poe replies easily. "That's where."

     "No, no, no!" The trooper protests immediately, voice rising. "We can't go back to Jakku! We need to get out of this system!"

     Poe shakes his head. "I gotta get my droid before the First Order does."

     "What — a droid?" Finn splutters.

     "That's right," Poe confirms. "It's a BB unit! Orange and white: one of a kind."

     "I don't care what color it is!" Finn shouts angrily and Poe tries to not take it too personally because they're under a lot of stress, but BB-8 is the best and he can't help but bristle at Finn's dismissal of his droid. "No droid can be that important!"

     "This one is, pal!" Poe replies stubbornly; refusing to budge even the slightest.

     "We need to get as far away from the First Order as we can!" Finn shouts over the increasing sound of beeping on one of the ship's monitors. "We go back to Jakku, we die!"

     Feeling frustrated with Finn's protests, Poe decides to tell him the truth about BB's precious cargo. "That droid has a map that leads straight to Luke Skywalker!"

     "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me —!"

     Out of nowhere, a missiles comes barreling into their ship, knocking them out of orbit and sending them spiraling out of control towards the surface of the planet below. The impact of the blast knocks Poe's head, causing him to grit his teeth in pain as he does his best to control the ship's downward spiral.

      It all happens so fast after that and, in his delirious state, Poe can hardly make sense of it all. He makes sure to eject Finn from the ship with a chute, securing his companion's safety before they reach the sandy dunes of the desert planet. Once he sees that Finn is safe, Poe tries to bring the ship out of its dive as best as he can, knowing that the impact will be painful when they touch down.

     All he remembers after that is the sensation of flying as he's thrown clear out of the ship and onto the ground, hard. His head — his poor, poor head — takes another blow in the fall and he finds it impossible to keep his eyes open a second longer, groaning in pain and welcoming the inky black embrace that he knows unconsciousness will provide.

      HER HANDS ACHE as Indira wordlessly threads spool after spool of copper wire into plastic tubing. The sharp, jagged ends of the metal dig into the flesh of her hands, wearing the skin raw and threatening to tear it open as she wills the metal material to bend into the shape she desires. It's ugly, mind-numbing work and she hates it, but it gives her something better to do aside from just sitting around and twiddling her thumbs.

Poe is still missing.

It's been three days. Three days since she had that gods-be-damned dream. Three days since she witnessed the cold-blooded slaughter of an entire village of innocent people. Three days since she watched Poe get dragged aboard a First Order shuttle and imprisoned behind enemy lines; never to be seen again.

It's starting to look like he might never come back.

Karé and Snap's reconnaissance mission had been an absolute failure. The two pilots had returned from the village of Tuanul empty handed — though they'd had enough kindness in their hearts to bestow proper burial rites upon the rotting corpses of the villagers that had been massacred. Their description of the slaughter had matched Indira's dream perfectly, confirming that she hadn't just been dreaming. Whatever she'd seen in her sleep had been something more than that; something she doesn't entirely understand — and isn't sure that she even wants to. There'd been no word on Poe's whereabouts from C-3PO's droid spy network either, leaving the trail cold. It was as if the Poe had disappeared entirely, vanishing on board the First Order ship without a trace.

In the aftermath of it all, things with General Organa had been ... tense. The Resistance's leader had been busier than ever since Poe's disappearance, spending long hours behind closed doors in the base's command center with only her closest advisors and confidants. Indira had yet to speak to the older woman since their last encounter, admittedly too embarrassed by her prior misconduct to go anywhere near the general until she is prepared to grovel for forgiveness — which, for the record, Indira isn't; not yet, at least.

Across the entire base, Poe's absence can be felt. It's a tangible thing — one that Indira can see clear as day in the faces and body language of her fellow comrades in arms. Everywhere she looks, shoulders are drooping and smiles are scarce. Without the presence of their fearless leader, Black Squadron looks bereft; a sad echo of a team that had once appeared to be unstoppable. There's only three of them left now — half of their original team killed, captured, or deemed traitor towards the rebel cause.

Still, even outside of his squadron Poe is missed by many others. The young pilot had been a friend to everyone he came in contact with; charming, approachable, and unfailingly optimistic even in the direst of circumstances. Indira thinks that even some of the droids seem to miss him because Poe Dameron, in all his kindness, had greeted them every single day without fail and treated them with respect irregardless of their robotic status. It was impossible for anyone — droids, humans, and non-humans alike — not to miss him.

And oh, Indira does miss him.

Attachment has always been something terrifying to her. Deep down in her soul, she knows that everyone — whether they want to or not — leaves you in the end. The less people you let close to your heart, the less likely you are to get hurt. That was a philosophy she had lived and breathed by for years, keeping herself at a distance from everyone else. Yet Poe Dameron — the man she had once thought of as nothing more than a cocky, conceited flyboy — had somehow managed to work his way in through the cracks in the armor around her carefully guarded heart. Now that he's gone, Indira isn't quite sure what to do with herself.

In the end, she goes back to what she knows she's good at: fixing things. She's too worked up to sleep, so Indira spends her days and nights tinkering away at the busted ships in the hangar. Nobody really notices because, well, they've all got their own problems to worry about and Indira is about as forgettable as they come — at least, that's what she thinks of herself, so she's confident that there's no one keeping tabs on her behavior (a false assumption in its entirety; EV-1 constantly keeps tabs on her vital readings, General Organa consistently does check-ups on the daughter of her deceased friend, and on more than one occasion a young technician named Rose Tico has left her quarters late at night to watch Indira's very agitated midnight repair routine.)

Karé's ship is repaired in less than a day and Black One is fully operational within forty-eight hours, but once Indira gets started on the ship's minor repair issues, she finds herself unable to stop working on it, which is how she finds herself twining copper wire by hand into power couplings. The cables on Poe's ship are old and Indira has every intention of lecturing him about letting them get into such terrible condition as soon as he comes back. If he ever comes back.

     "Indi?"

     The sudden interruption startles her out of the monotony of her work and her hand slips, causing her to tug sharply on the wire coil she'd been winding. The metallic filament slips from her grasp, digging into the skin of her palm and slicing it open. It's a shallow wound — one bred more from exhaustion and carelessness than anything else — and it doesn't sting much, but Indira still winces and drops the cable to the floor.

      "Shit," she mutters, watching blood well up from the cut in a thin, crimson-colored line before she lifts her head to find Kali and Jessika standing a few feet away.

      It's the first time she's seen them — really seen them — in the past three days. Jessika had taken the news of Poe's disappearance hard after the loss of L'ulo, so Kali had been spending extra time with her girlfriend. Both of her friends are watching Indira with alarmed expressions, clad in their pajamas with sleep-tousled hair. A blanket is wrapped around Jessika's shoulders and pillow creases decorate Kali's face, meaning that the two of them have likely just been awoken. Still, Indira doesn't understand why they're in the hangar at this time of night. Nobody ever visits the hangar this late — no one but her, at least.

      "What are you guys doing here?" She asks, brow furrowing. "Is everything alright?"

      "What are you doing here?" Kali turns the question around on her. "It's half-past three in the morning, Indira. You should be sleeping; not working."

      "I'm not tired," she protests, which is a lie — she's fucking exhausted, but she's too scared to let herself sleep anymore. The thought of what she might see if she closes her eyes is terrifying enough to keep her from letting them shut.

      "Your hand is bleeding," Jessika frowns, noticing the blood trickling down her palm. "Indi, you should probably get that checked out."

       "Guys, I'm fine!" She insists, hiding her bloodied palm behind her back. Clearing her throat, she gives them a tight-lipped smile. "Really, I am."

      "Evie woke us," Kali says accusingly. "She told me that you haven't been sleeping."

     "Evie doesn't know what she's talking about," Indira replies through gritted teeth, cursing her droid for being an insufferable snitch. "I've been catching up on some extra work, but I'm fine. You guys don't need to worry about me."

     "That sounds exactly like something someone who needs their friends to worry about them would say," Jess mutters to Kali under her breath, but Indira still hears it and frowns.

      "Indira, be honest with me," Kali says firmly. "When is the last time you slept?"

      She clenches her jaw stubbornly. "It hasn't been that long —"

       "When?" Kali repeats, setting her hands on her hips and glowering.

       Indira's shoulders sag slightly as she looks up at the ceiling to avoid her friend's intimidating stare. "Three days, but I'm telling you guys that I'm fine! I've gone way longer than that before —"

       "Fucking hell!" Kali exclaims, running a hand through her sleep tousled hair. "Three days? Are you serious?"

      "Look, Kali," Indira says, standing from her seat. Her head sways a little from the sudden motion and she has to blink away the dark spots that dance across her vision, gripping the back of the seat with her uninjured hand to keep steady. "You don't understand. I have so much to do. Sleep isn't important right now."

     "Indira," Jessika interjects with a frown, "you do need to sleep. It isn't healthy to go that long without sleeping."

      "I don't need to sleep," she protests, even though her throat is growing tight and gods, no, she really does not want to cry right now. "Because I'm not tired," her voice cracks, wavering as she tries to finish her sentence. "And I'm not done fixing Poe's ship. I have to finish fixing it before he comes back — he promised me that he would come back — and he can't have a broken ship when he gets here. It's my job to fix it. I have to fix it! And then maybe... maybe..." Her face crumples before she can get the words out. "Maybe then he'll come home."

"Oh, Indi," Jess breathes. She throws the blanket from around her shoulders and rushes forward to engulf the shorter girl in a firm embrace, hugging her so tightly that the air nearly leaves her lungs.

Indira clings to the back of her shirt, keeping herself from toppling over. The grief that she'd been trying so hard to ignore comes crashing down on her and she isn't sure which of them starts bawling first, but her and Jess are an absolutely undignified mess of tears and snot, weeping openly in the midst of the empty hangar. It isn't pretty, but grief rarely is and both of them need this. Kali joins their embrace and wraps an arm around each of their shoulders.

"He's not coming back, is he?" Indira asks once she's able to speak again; no longer able to deny the terrible truth she'd been avoiding for days.

"I don't know," Kali admits, squeezing her a little tighter. "But you can't give up hope."

"He will," Jessika says, braving a watery smile for the both of them. "I know he will. He always does."

     Their joint embrace lasts a few more minutes before the trio breaks apart, wiping at runny noses and watery eyes. The fatigue that Indira had been fighting so hard against seems to hit her all at once, leaving her feeling drained and bone-weary. The thought of staying up any longer makes her feel physically ill and she knows that she will have to bite the bullet sooner or later.

     As if sensing her train of thought, Kali links an arm through hers. "Come on," she says, pulling Indira lightly away from the ship she'd been working on. "It's time for bed. We can push our bunks together and sleep real cozy tonight. No one gets left out."

     Indira feels skeptical about that concept to say the least, but she goes along with Kali's plan willingly. Truth be told, she'd rather not sleep alone tonight — especially if her terrible visions return. Whatever will be waiting for her on the other side of consciousness already scares the hell out of her, but she hopes that having a friend or two by her side will be enough to keep her grounded in reality.

     Somehow, the three of them manage to move their beds together and pile onto the ridiculously small mattresses together — though Jessika has to let one of her legs hang off the side of the bed and Indira is pretty sure that she won't be able to feel either of her arms in the morning when she wakes up. Still, she feels safe with her friends — warm and comforted and the opposite of alone.

     As soon as her head touches the pillow, Kali begins snoring softly beside her and Jessika's breathing steadies to a slow, even pace. Indira listens to the sound for a few moments before taking a deep breath of her own and letting it out slowly before closing her eyes; ready to face whatever is waiting for her on the other side.

     The first thing she notices is the heat. It's sweltering and dry, causing her to wrinkle her nose in displeasure as she takes in her surroundings. Blinding sunlight makes her squint against a cloudless blue sky, surrounded by sand on all sides. Her head throbs painfully and her throat is parched. She can't remember anything; not her name, not where she came from — all of her memories are gone and she wanders the sandy dunes aimlessly until a figure on a sand speeder approaches her in the desert.

     "Water?" She pleads desperately through a mouth made of sandpaper as the figure on the speeder dismounts. "Please, water."

     The stranger grants her wish in silence, offering a spare canteen that she drinks from with the thirst of a dying man. When the canteen is empty, she hands it back to her savior with multiple thanks on her lips; still thirsty, but quenched for the time being.

     Her eyes catch sight of her reflection in the goggles strapped to the head of her snout-nosed rescuer and she freezes at what she sees. The face staring back at her is bloodied and bruised — perhaps even a bit sunburnt — but there is no mistaking her identity. Dark curls, thick eyebrows, and a sharp jawline; all of which are not her own, but Indira would recognize those handsome features anywhere.

     Poe.

     Before she has the chance to react, Indira is ripped almost violently from her dream by someone shaking her awake. Gasping, Indira's eyes fly open and she sits up quickly; instantly feeling disoriented from the sudden movement. On each side of her, Kali and Jessika are watching her with identical expressions of concern.

     "You were talking in your sleep," Jess explains, sitting back slightly. "We were worried."

     Indira nods, placing a hand over her heart to calm its rapid pulse. Around her neck, the crystal pendant thrums with heat and energy, growing warmer and warmer with each passing second. Somehow, she knows that's a good sign.

     "Are you alright?" Kali asks cautiously and Indira nods again, clearing her throat.

     "I need to speak with General Organa," she says quickly, sliding off of Kali's bed and squaring her shoulders. She fumbles around the room for clothing, pulling on the first items that she sees.

     "What's going on?" Kali frowns, watching her friend's state of complete disarray.

     Taking a deep breath, Indira turns to face the two girls. "I saw Poe," she says. "I think he's alive — and I think I know where to find him."

a/n: quick note — you may or may not have noticed, but i'm taking a few creative liberties with this fic and fudging around the timeline a bit. i hate that the movies go by in such short amounts of time (tfa takes place over roughly the course of a week and tlj also only takes place over a few days) so i'm stretching things out a bit. hopefully that doesn't bother anyone! 🤷‍♀️

EDITED ON:
08.23.19