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chapter eighteen: de facto
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THE SKY IS DARK by the time they head back inside. Indira isn't sure how much time has passed when they step into Poe's father's home — it could have been hours, could have been minutes; she isn't sure which — but Karé and Snap are both on their feet the second they step through the door, swarming their commander.

"Poe!" Snap cries. "It's so good to see you, buddy!"

The two men embrace, thumping each other on the back before pulling apart. "It's good to see you, too, pal," Poe says sincerely, grasping his friend by the shoulders and squeezing affectionately. Though still a bit subdued, he looks a far cry better than when Indira first found him standing by himself by the river's edge. His eyes have regained some of their former shine and his smile is genuine as he greets his squadron members.

Indira catches Kes's eye from across the room as Poe greets Karé, nearly lifting the smaller woman off her feet when he hugs her. Poe's father mouths a thank you to her and Indira ducks her head with some embarrassment before nodding back.

When Poe and Karé break apart, they all take seats in the crammed space of Kes's living room, situating themselves as comfortably as possible on the tiny couch. Indira is squished between Poe and Karé, who is halfway sitting on Snap's leg. Indira's knee bumps against Poe's, but she doesn't move hers and neither does he, allowing them to remain in contact with one another. Kes fishes out another mug from his cabinet and pours Poe a steaming cup of the spiced milk, handing it to him before ruffling his hair.

"Dad," Poe complains, shaking his head indignantly. "The hair is off-limits, remember?"

"Sorry, son," Kes replies, not sounding particularly sorry at all as he takes a seat in the armchair across from them, grinning widely. "Old habits die hard."

Poe rolls his eyes affectionately, sipping from his mug before glancing over at his friends. "So, what'd I miss?"

"Truthfully?" Snap asks. "Not much. Things were pretty quiet with you gone, Dameron."

"And boring," Karé complains. "Everything is so boring when you're gone."

"Did, uh," Poe clears his throat, slightly insecure. "Did General Organa say anything about me?"

"That she was proud of you," Indira says, bumping his knee with hers. "And that she wants you back."

Poe looks aghast. "She does?" He asks weakly. "Still?"

"Yes," Indira says firmly. "We all do."

"We need you, Poe," Snap backs her up without hesitation. "Black Squad isn't the same without our fearless leader."

There's a myriad of emotions on the pilot's face, ranging everywhere from guilt to fear to shame and he does his best to hide it behind the brim of his mug, taking several seconds to intently sip his drink. When he's drained the cup of its steaming liquid, he sets it down on the table and leans forward, folding his hands together.

"When does she want me back?" He asks, clearing his throat.

"As soon as you're ready," Karé replies. "The sooner the better. Having so many of us off-base makes her uneasy."

"And the Resistance needs its best pilot back," Snap teases his friend. "If not for your flying skills, then for your good looks. It boosts troop morale when they have someone pretty to look at."

"Fuck off," Poe grumbles, the tops of his ears turning red with embarrassment as the room around him bursts into laughter. He rubs his hands over his face before rolling his shoulders back and standing to leave the room. "I'll be ready within the hour."

POE TAKES THE pilot's seat on their first shift of the journey back to base. Karé and Snap had elected to get some sleep in the bunks of the transport, exhausted from the journey to Yavin Four, but Indira decides to stay up instead. With the way her head is buzzing, she is positive that she wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways.

Kes Dameron had walked them all back to their ship, watching from the ground as they boarded the transport and took off into space. He had done his best to stockpile them with food for the journey back to base before they left, loading their arms with homemade flatbread and cured sausage and a variety of fresh fruits. He and his son shared an intense embrace before he left; Kes kissing both of Poe's cheeks before waving him off. Indira thinks that it must've been hard for him to watch his son leave so soon after almost losing him — especially having already lost his wife. Poe is the only piece of Shara Bey that Kes has left.

Their ship is scheduled to arrive back on the base within seventy-two hours, giving them plenty of time to catch up on what Poe is willing to share about his time in captivity. Indira doesn't press him for answers, but once he starts talking, he almost seems incapable of stopping.

"They picked me up on Jakku," he tells her, eyes trained on the skies ahead as they go throttling through hyperspace. She doesn't bother telling him that she already knows all of this; that she saw it herself in her sleep. It's something she intends to keep to herself for a bit longer. "Must've gotten a tip from Threepio's old memory unit that Terex stole from me or somethin' like that. I barely had the chance to say three sentences to Lor San Tekka after he gave me the map to Skywalker before they arrived. Once they shot out my ship's engine, I knew there would be no escape for me — not then, at least. They slaughtered everyone in that village before taking me on board as their only captive."

"What happened to the map?" Indira asks, worried that it might already be in the hands of the First Order.

"Hell if I know," Poe says, sounding distraught. "I gave it to BeeBee and sent him off somewhere in the desert on Jakku. His tracker hasn't been working — I tried finding him, but there was no signal. It's as if he's vanished."

"Poor thing," Indira murmurs, thinking of the small, childlike astromech droid wandering the sandy deserts of Jakku on its own. "He must be so frightened."

"Yeah," Poe replies glumly. "And I couldn't protect him. If the First Order has the map now, it's my fault."

"Poe, you did your best," she says with a frown, glancing over at him. "You can't blame yourself for any of this."

He laughs without humor. "Can't I?"

"No," Indira disagrees firmly. "The First Order are monsters — they're merciless. Whatever they did to you, it wasn't your fault. You know that, don't you?"

He clenches his jaw in the seat next to her. "I don't want to talk about it," he mutters, still avoiding her gaze, and she knows not to press him any further.

"Then we won't talk about it," she agrees. "We'll talk about something else."

Poe makes a noncommittal sound at that. "Like what?"

Indira frowns, wracking her brain for new topics of conversation. "Hm," she says, pausing to think. "Well, we could talk about the state of the power couplings on Black One," she begins, giving him a reproachful glance, "but I don't think you want to hear me lecture you about the dangers of old cables and faulty wiring for the next fifty hours."

"Kriff," Poe laughs, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. He looks at her for the first time since they'd sat down together; half a smile creeping across his face. "No, I don't think I want that."

"They were atrocious," she begins, listening to him groan as he hangs his head in shame. "I had to thread you new cables by hand." She holds up her hands, showing him the callouses that had started to form from her work and the bandage around her palm. "Do you see this?" She demands. "Poe Dameron, you had better not let your ship's cables get into such shitty condition ever again or I swear to all the gods that exist — I will sic my droid on you and she will not be nice about it!"

"Oh no," he says, feigning horror. "Not Evie; anything but Evie! You wouldn't dare!"

"I would," she threatens, trying to be intimidating but failing miserably as she nearly laughs. "So don't test me."

"Oh, now you've got me quaking in my boots," he teases. "I'm really scared."

"You should be," she warns. "I programmed that droid myself."

     At that remark, he laughs; throwing his head back and crinkling the corner of his eyes. "You've convinced me," he tells her once he's done laughing.

Indira's lips twitch as she fights the urge to smile, resting her head against the back of her seat as she stares at the side profile of his face. She frowns when she sees the still-fading bruises and cuts there; a physical reminder of all that he'd been forced to endure during his time as a prisoner. Without thinking, she reaches out and gently runs the pads of her fingertips over one of the bruises on his cheekbone, pausing to make sure that it doesn't hurt. Instead, she sees some of the tension leave his shoulders as he sinks into the seat, sighing almost inaudibly.

"How did you escape?" She asks in a hushed voice, wanting to know just how close she came to losing him for some sick, masochistic reason.

"I had help," he admits, voice hoarse. "A stormtrooper. He wanted a way out and needed a pilot. We were lucky to find each other. I wouldn't have made it out alive without him."

Indira exhales at that, feeling inexplicably grateful to this stranger she'e never even met. "What was his name?"

"Finn," he replies, then pauses. "Well, I sort of named him Finn, but I asked if I could call him that first and he told me that he liked it."

Her brow furrows. "You named him?"

Poe nods solemnly. "The troopers don't have names," he says. "Just numbers and letters strung together."

"That's terrible," she mutters with a frown. "What happened to him?"

He shrugs and shakes his head. "I dunno," he admits. "We hijacked a TIE fighter in our escape, but one of their ventral canons hit the ship and we went down on Jakku. I managed to eject his seat before we crashed, but," his expression fills with guilt, "I don't know if he survived."

"If you survived, there's a chance he did, too," she suggests, trying to be optimistic even though optimism has never been one of her strong suits. "Right?"

"Maybe," Poe agrees tentatively, shifting slightly in the pilot's seat. "I owe him my life and I never even got the chance to thank him. I would have liked to."

She squeezes his shoulder gently, settling back into her seat as she watches the blue and white lights of hyperspace dance across the cockpit window. "I hope you can someday."

      "Yeah," Poe murmurs, voice soft and nearly inaudible. "Yeah, me too."

JESSIKA PAVA IS WAITING in the base hangar when their transport touches the ground on D'Qar. No one dares to get between the young pilot and the ship's passengers once they land. Indira watches with a small smile on her face as the younger girl launches herself at Poe the second he takes his first steps off the ship's ramp. Her arms lock around his neck in a hug that could almost double as a chokehold and he staggers back slightly, doing his best to support them both.

"Poe Dameron, don't you dare scare us like that ever again!" She hisses, squeezing tighter. "Or I swear I'll kill you myself!"

Poe hugs her back with one arm while using the other to pry at her grip around his neck. "Testor ... air," he chokes out. "Can't ... breathe."

"Captain Pava, I just got Commander Dameron back," an amused voice says from behind their embracing figures. "I'd prefer that you not strangle him."

Jess lets go of Poe and takes a sheepish step backwards, revealing Leia Organa's diminutive figure. "I'll do my best, General," she replies with a timid smile.

The grin on Poe's face falters slightly and he stands up straight. "General," he says hesitantly, arms pulled into his sides as if he wants to make himself as small as possible.

"Commander," she nods at him, her expression impassive save for the slight twinkle in her eyes.

He fidgets nervously, clearing his throat before speaking. "General Organa, I want to apologize for my failure to carry out the mission on Jakku. I accept full responsibility for my actions and —"

"Oh, hell, Poe," Leia says shaking her head to silence him before beckoning him forward. "I'm not here to berate you."

He takes a few steps forward and she embraces him tightly in a rare display of affection, bending down so she can whisper something in his ear for only him to hear. His shoulders sag slightly and he closes his eyes, nodding quickly before she pulls back and cups his chin affectionately. "I'm glad to have you back, Commander," she says, smiling at him. "I need you here; we all do."

"Yeah?" He asks weakly, taking a step back and ruffling his hair unsurely. "You sure about that?"

"Yes," Leia repeats sternly, her mouth falling into a firm line. "One bad mission doesn't define you as a commander, Poe. We've got a lot of fight left ahead of us; I can't have you giving up on me now."

Looking a bit more confident, Poe gives her half a grin and shrugs. "Well, I ain't going anywhere," he says. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"What a relief," Jessika adds, piping up from the background. "I was worried that Snap would become our de facto leader. Thank Force that's not the case."

"Hey!" Snap says indignantly as he and Karé exit the transport. "I heard that!"

Immediately, Jessika and Snap begin bickering back and forth with one another, causing Karé to roll her eyes and Poe to laugh. Indira smiles at the sight, watching as he visibly seems to grow stronger while surrounded by the people that love him best. The First Order had taken a lot from him — his pride, his strength — but they hadn't been able to take this. The Resistance was still strong and in Poe's weakness, they would lend him their strength until he could stand on his own two feet once more.

      The small crowd hangs around the hangar for a while longer, talking and joking with one another until a familiar golden figure approaches them, moving as quickly as he can on stiff limbs whilst waving a red arm in the air.

      "General Organa, General Organa!" C-3PO shouts frantically as he draws closer.

      Everyone falls abruptly silent, pausing to listen to the droid's desperate pleas. Leia's face furrows with concern as she steps towards him. "What is it, Threepio?"

"Apologies for the interruption, General, but there is something you must know," the droid says, almost sounding breathless as he comes to a short stop next to the general. "I've received a message from one of my intelligence operatives on Takodana."

     Leia purses her lips. "And?"

The droid waves a comm link back and forth. "They've found them!"

The general frowns. "Found who?"

"BeeBee-Ate," C-3PO finishes before hesitating for a moment. "And Han Solo."

a/n: IT'S TIME EVERYONE

EDITED ON:
08.25.19