A soft whimper escapes him as he rolls around in his bed. His eyes are pinched shut, his head slightly shaking back and forth. His breathing is loud and fast, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"Anakin." He mumbles, his face contorting. He tosses again, but he still doesn't wake up.

More like can't wake up. 

Every night, he's trapped in his memories. He's stuck in some endless nightmare of the past few days. The fall of the Republic. The end of the Jedi. The grieving of his best friend. All of it hits him at night when it's dark and silent. 

When he realizes how alone he really is.

"Please. Don't leave me. I love you." He whimpers, his eyes batting as he starts to wake up. He begins to thrash, fear building in his veins. "Don't leave me!" He cries out as he bolts up in bed, his eyes wide open.

He pants, looking at his surroundings. He's no longer trapped on that hot lava planet. It's dark and cool, sending a chill up his spine. He wipes the sweat off his forehead as he gets up from his bed.

He can't remember the last time he's gotten some decent sleep. He's spent the past few nights constantly tossing and turning. Every time he closes his eyes, he's transported back to that godforsaken planet, to that terrible day. The image of his best friend lit in flames always makes the first appearance.

He looks outside, the sky a light gray. Soon, the twin suns will rise and bring intense heat to the planet. It's a lot warmer than he's used to dealing with, but he will adapt to it. After all, this is to be his home until Luke is ready.

Obi-Wan backs away from his window, thinking of Luke. He and his sister have hardly been around for long and already they've had a huge impact on his life. They're the last part of Anakin. The real Anakin. The Anakin that died on Mustafar.

"Obi-Wan."

He jumps, grabbing his lightsaber. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing upright. Someone just called his name. "Who's here? Show yourself." He demands, walking around his hut defensively.

"You don't recognize my voice?"

Obi-Wan tightens his grip on his lightsaber. He turns it on, the bright blue light hurting his eyes. "I recognize your voice, but you're dead. You died on Naboo all those years ago. This is some trick. Show me who you really are."

"It's me. It's alright."

Obi-Wan shakes his head. "You've come to kill me just as you have my friends. I won't let you. Show yourself and we'll put an end to this inevitable fight."

"Obi-Wan, calm yourself. I promise it's really me. There's no one here to hurt you."

After checking his surroundings thoroughly, he finds that no one is there. "It's not possible. You're dead." He insists, turning off his lightsaber. He lets out a shaky breath, dropping it to the ground. He rubs the side of his head. "I'm going insane. I'm starting to hear voices." He mumbles. That's it. He's just so low on sleep that he's losing his mind.

"Yoda told you before you left for Tatooine that I learned the path to immortality. Don't you believe him?"

"Of course I believe Master Yoda," Obi-Wan says, his eyes pinched shut as he rubs his temples. He begins to pace around the room. "This is just so much to handle at once."

"You've had a difficult journey these past few days. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there to help you."

"No one was." Obi-Wan immediately fires back, anger laced in his words. He furrows his eyebrows and opens his eyes, tears beginning to pool in them. His nightmares start to fill his head again. "And no one is here to help me now. I'm more alone than I have been in years."

"I'm here."

"Not really," He argues, shaking his head. "I'm screaming at thin air. I can't even see you, Master Qui-Gon." He scoffs, tossing his hand in the air.

"But I am here."

"It's not the same, Master." Obi-Wan frowns, plopping onto his bed. He runs his hands through his hair, hoping to calm himself before the panic sets in again. Another image of Anakin flashes in his mind. The look in his eyes. The cry of pure pain Anakin let out as he was burned alive echoes around him. Obi-Wan starts to get taken somewhere else, following the sound of agony from his padawan.

"You're suffering in silence," Qui-Gon speaks up, making him jump. "Talk to me, Obi-Wan. Let it off your chest. I'm here for you now."

"I've failed you." He sighs, his shoulders dropping. His exhaustion starts to overcome his anger. He covers his face with his hands. "I've failed everyone. I led The Chosen One astray. He was to bring balance to the Force. Somewhere, I went wrong. I started this Empire. I'm the one who led Anakin down a path to suffering. I've failed him far more than anyone else."

"You did everything you could, my friend. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"How can't I?" Obi-Wan replies, looking up. "I watched him burn on that planet. I cut off my own padawan's limbs. I watched my best friend kill younglings!" He shouts, tears pooling in his eyes again. "He killed innocent children. He helped them kill Jedi, our friends. If I'm not the one to blame, then who is? I was his master, the one he looked to for guidance. He looked to me as an example of what Jedi should be!"

"You should know from personal experience that padawans don't always reflect their master's teachings. Take a look at you, for example. I never made it to the Jedi Council, but you became an excellent member. You didn't follow in my footsteps."

"That's not the same." He frowns, shaking his head. "Anakin fell to the dark side." He says. He takes a deep, shaky breath as he tries to contain his emotions. All of it is just so hard to bear. "I was supposed to kill him. And I couldn't do it. I've let everyone down. He's still alive and I know it. I can feel him. He's going to hurt more people."

"You haven't let us down, Obi-Wan. You expect so much of yourself. No one blames you for any of this. What you were tasked with doing was a difficult challenge."

"A difficult challenge?" Obi-Wan scoffs, rising from his bed. "A difficult challenge was facing Darth Maul or General Grievous. Being tasked with killing my padawan, my best friend is something that I can't even describe. Anakin was someone that I watched grow up. We've spent almost our whole lives together. I thought of him as a brother! Now tell me, Master. Could you kill your brother?"

"No. And I felt that you shouldn't have been put into that position. No master should."

"But I was!" Obi-Wan cries as he pounds at his chest. He doesn't even notice the tears cutting tracks down his cheeks. All he can feel is his heart shattering into a million pieces. His body begins to shake as he thinks of Anakin. "I watched my best friend die that day. All I have left now is Master Yoda and he sent me away. I'm so alone and I feel so guilty. Everyone is dead except me. Why me? Why did this burden of living fall onto me?"

"You have a great journey set for you."

"Don't you hate me?" He asks, suddenly steering the conversation away. His chest begins to tighten and he feels like he can't breathe. "Why are you here talking to me?" He shouts, his fists tightening at his sides.

"Of course I don't hate you. Why would you think that?"

"I hate me." He confesses as he tugs at his robe. He feels like he's being chocked. The room feels like it's shrinking around him. He starts to feel trapped and like he's going to pass out from lack of oxygen. "Everyone else should too."

"That's not true."

"I wish I was dead!" He wails "I just want this pain to end. I want nothing more to do with the Force. I don't want anything to do with the Jedi! I just wish I could forget all!"

Deep sobs escape him as he falls to his knees. After holding it in for days, it all comes out at once. He misses his fellow Jedi. He misses that wretched Temple. But most of all, he misses his best friend and the life he used to have. Why couldn't he see the signs? How did he miss Anakin being led astray right under his nose? Was he really that blind to his suffering?

He can't stop the tears from flowing. It's like an endless stream pouring down his face. All he hears is an ear-piercing cry and it takes him a few minutes to realize that it's coming from him. He's almost choking from weeping. He feels numb. He feels lost. He feels so much pain and sorrow. 

How he mourns it all.

Catching him off guard, a warmth wraps around him. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I wish I could take this suffering away from you. You don't deserve it." Qui-Gon says, his voice gentle. Obi-Wan can almost feel his arms holding him tight. It's almost like Qui-Gon really is in the room with him.

He takes a few deep breaths, trying to gain back control. He rubs the tears away from his eyes as the warmth spreads all around him. "Don't I?" He softly whispers, his voice hoarse from crying.

"No."

His bawling begins to die down, soften into hiccups until they are gone. The room doesn't feel like it is closing in around him. He no longer feels like he's being suffocated by his clothing. He gains back his ability to think rationally, no longer trapped in his sorrow. He relaxes, his shoulders no longer tense, though he does feel a bit embarrassed. He feels his break down was a bit dramatic, even for him and what he's gone through. But, as much as he doesn't want to admit, he does feel better now that he let it out.

"What did you do?" He asks as the warmth slowly disappears. The pit in his stomach begins to fade and he craves food for the first time in days. He didn't realize how hungry he was until now.

"I was only comforting you. Nothing else, Obi-Wan."

"Ben." Obi-Wan corrects, his gaze locked on the wall across from him. "Obi-Wan died with Anakin that day. I want to go by Ben now."

"What?"

"I don't want to hear that name anymore." He says, beginning to stand. He brushes off the dirt from his robes. "No one left in this galaxy knows me by that name. It has no meaning to them. It has no meaning to me."

"It has meaning to me."

Obi-Wan slightly smiles for the first time in days. A soft twinkle briefly appears in his bloodshot eyes. "Alright, then you may use it, Master. But to everyone living, I will go by Ben."

The suns are just beginning to peek above the horizon. A deep shade of red fills the sky. It's a new day for Obi-Wan and he intends to look forward. He wants to move past what he's endured. And though he knows it will take years for the wound in his heart to begin to heal, he wants to begin on the right path.

"You mentioned there's a journey for me here, Master." He sniffs as he grabs his lightsaber from the floor. He places it securely on his hip again, giving it a reassuring pat. He's surprised he didn't lose it during all of his blubberings.

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"To watch over Luke. You must make sure that no one knows of him. Especially not his father. If Darth Vader were to find out about his son there's no telling what could happen. You must protect him at all costs."

"I will." Obi-Wan nods. "He's the last piece of Anakin that I have. I won't lose him too."

"Good," Qui-Gon says. After a few moments of peaceful silence, he speaks up again. "I need to leave, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan immediately freezes, shaking his head. "No, Master. Please don't go. I can't bear the idea of being alone again."

"You aren't alone. I will always be with you."

"It's not the same. I don't want to lose you again."

"You never lost me. I have been with you on all of your journeys and I will be with you on this one. You need some time to process everything you've just experienced. I feel that you are ready to handle this in your own way and at your own pace. I trust you, Obi-Wan."

"I don't trust me." He argues. "I can't even remember the last time I've eaten. I just had a breakdown that I didn't think would ever end. Now you trust me to watch over Luke alone?"

"You will be just fine, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon assures with a soft chuckle. "There's no need to worry."

Obi-Wan stays silent, unsure of what to say. Why is he being insured to watch over Luke anyways? He failed Anakin. Why is he being given a second chance? Why doesn't Yoda take this important job? He would be the most reliable person given Obi-Wan's track record.

"I'm sure you already know, but Darth Vader is out there looking for you," Qui-Gon says. "He knows you're alive and intends on making sure that you are dead himself. He wants revenge for what you did to him on Mustafar. You must be careful."

"I know, Master," He replies, looking at that ground. "He made it very clear that he wanted me dead the last time I saw him. I shall watch my back."

"And Luke's. If Darth Vader finds you, there's a chance that he'll find Luke as well. Then all hope in bringing balance to the Force will be lost."

"I understand."

"Stay safe, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon says, signaling that he's about to leave him. "Have faith in your abilities to keep Luke safe. You were chosen for a reason. And may the Force be with you."

Obi-Wan only nods his head. He will watch over Luke until the time is right. He will do anything and everything to keep him hidden from the Empire and from anyone else. This is his second chance to save Anakin and he is going to take it. He won't let anyone down this time.

But the part about the Force? He isn't sure how much he really wants to do with it. If he stays strong with it, will Dark Vader be able to detect it? Does he want to take the risk and find out?

He heads outside, the twin suns illuminating his face and temporarily blinding him. He takes a deep breath, taking in the fresh early morning air. Everything on the desert planet is just being to awaken with life, he included. Though he feels sorrow in his heart, he knows what he must do. He must do everything in his power to protect Luke.

And if he wants to do a good job watching over Luke, he must first take care of himself. He needs food, something he's been ignoring for the last few days. He also needs to find somewhere safe to live the rest of his life, somewhere hidden from the world searching for him. But it must be just close enough to watch over Luke, the child of Anakin. The child that would soon have a greater purpose than anyone could imagine.

~~~~~~~~~

I just love Obi-Wan soooo much. And the idea of him being alone after everything that happened makes my heart  H U R T.