happy may the fourth! i have plenty of star wars imagines and other surprises heading your way today. first is this rewrite to an old imagine i did a couple of years ago; 3.5k words

p.s. LOOK AT MY REY COSPLAY!! IT'S ALMOST COMPLETE

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There had been so many good days lately. It wasn't something you were used to, but you were ready to accept them as a common occurrence. You let out a bubbly, happy laugh against your husband's soft lips, bringing a soft chuckle from him. Your fingers touched his cheekbone as you stared up at him. He had his arms around you. When he held you like that, the black cloak he wore enveloped you. You felt safe.

"You know that Hux would kill me if he knew I was ignoring my mission," you whispered, kissing him again.

"Who cares?" he grumbled. He brought you closer against him.

Looking into his eyes, you raised your eyebrows. "Well, it's my job on the line."

"Nothing is on the line for you anymore. You're married to the Supreme Leader of the First Order."

Your heart fluttered. You stepped out of his arms to take his hand in your own. You smiled as you intertwined your fingers with his. "Oh, that's right."

Just a few days ago, you and Kylo eloped. Neither of you had planned for it. He had never proposed. But together you traveled to Naboo, where you were wed on the beautiful beach, in the middle of the night, with the soft grey hue of the moon being your only light to see one another.

Since that moment, your life had felt like a blissful fairytale.

A blissful fairytale that healed the hurt of your past. You had once been a part of the Resistance, unsure of your place there, but risking your life nonetheless for the cause. When you were injured and left for dead during an ambush by your brothers and sisters, Kylo Ren stepped up and saved you. When you asked him why he didn't leave you on that planet to die, he said he felt compassion that he couldn't understand for you.

It was easy to match that same compassion for him.

Soon after your rescue, after you had healed and recovered, you were a member of the Order. You weren't sure how you became a member of the First Order. You weren't even sure you agreed with them, but everything about Kylo Ren drew you in and you soon found yourself trusting every belief the man had. It scared you, but it also excited you. When you returned to the Resistance, you did so as a spy. No one knew of your relationship or of your new allegiance. No one knew where you disappeared to every week.

"You should stay," he murmured to you. He hated that you returned to the Resistance.

"Kylo," you said, moving your hands up to grip his upper arms. "This is my job. I would love to stay with you every moment of my day, but I am still your spy. You gave me a place in the First Order with expectations that followed." You gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "And the Resistance is expecting me."

Kylo sighed heavily, following you out into the corridor and towards the hangar. You had a bag slung over your shoulder with all of your belongings, and you were dressed in your orange Resistance jumpsuit. It was strange to see you dressed as one of them, not in the black uniform you usually wore. You didn't look like yourself anymore.

You tossed your bag onto the X-WING and turned back to your husband. He had a look you couldn't define on his face, but it was undoubtedly sadness. You pretended like you didn't see it as you climbed up the side of your X-WING and smiled down on him.

"You gonna kiss me goodbye, Supreme Leader?" you teased.

Wordless, and no longer in a joking mood, he crossed the space between you and lifted his hands to grab your face in his hands. He kissed you hard, all of the sadness and worry for you pouring out onto your lips. You shut your eyes tightly, finally feeling somewhat anxious for the first time. You didn't want to leave him, either.

"Come back to me soon," he said.

"I promise. Soon. No longer than a month. I love you."

"I love you."

It broke your heart to leave him, but he held your hand and helped you into your X-WING, and you took one last glance at him as you were cleared to take off. There was a fear inside of him that he would never see you again. He wanted to insist that the fear was wrong, but you knew that it wasn't. Even in his dreams, it plagued him. A vision in the Force.

You weren't gone even a full day when Kylo felt it. It was a disturbance, a feeling of dread and terror and the sound of your scream that was silenced before you could finish.

He froze where he stood, in front of the viewport on his ship. At first, he felt the crushing blow. He felt the terror. The pain. Your terror. Your pain. Desperately, he tried to reach for you. It was soul-crushing to feel like he was at a dead end. You were gone.

He fell against the wall, his palms flat in front of him. He inhaled shakily, the sound monstrous through his altered voice in his helmet. He was only seeing red. Pure, blood red. His hands trembled. His chest ached.

Hux approached him slowly and carefully. He stopped a few feet away, giving the Supreme Leader room. There was no doubt his emotions would explode at this news. His voice was careful. "Sir..."

Kylo turned his head, slightly. He held his breath. Just get it over with, he thought.

"Her ship..." Kylo's pained voice trailed off. He couldn't finish it, although it was true. His hands balled into fists.

"Shot down, sir. The Resistance gave her clearance and then they shot her down."

Just like that, his emotions broke free. A shout of anger left him and the viewport cracked against the Force that was wild around him. The walls bent in. Hux staggered back, feeling the full blow of it. All Kylo could see was red. Pure, hot, crimson red, as red as the blood he could see pouring out of your head.

Kylo pulled his weapon out. Ignited it. And he slashed and screamed and destroyed his ship with each crushing blow.

It was a miracle that you weren't dead. When you came to, you were hurting. The pain was so intense inside of you that you wanted to rip your skin off the bones and dunk yourself in ice. All you were capable of doing was opening your eyes and letting out a scream of agony.

In the smoky sight of the sunny afternoon, hands shot out from above you. They grabbed you harshly. They weren't the hands of friends. They hurt and they didn't care when you pleaded for them to stop. You cried out again and looked up to see the betrayed eyes of your friend, Poe Dameron.

"Poe," you said, moaning in pain. "What happened?"

He didn't speak to you. His face was red. His eyes were brimming with tears. And he was suddenly hoisting you up and onto your feet, one hand under your armpit. His hands were the unfriendly ones dragging you around. You screamed again and started to plead, stumbling forward unwillingly, vision blurring at the burned sight of your hands. You wanted to puke. You wanted to pass out.

"Poe," you mumbled, "what... what---"

"It's a shame you didn't die," he spat. He didn't look at you. "It would've made this a sure lot easier. Traitor."

"Traitor?" you whispered in shock. "I am no traitor!"

"Shut up!" He looked at you now, furious. "Don't try to lie to me, ___. You are a traitor to the Resistance. To me. We followed you. Everyone suspected you except for me. But I followed you to prove them wrong. And I followed you straight to Naboo. Now I'm the fool and you..."

You were so confused. How did you betray the Resistance? You tried to make sense of the last few weeks of your life, but nothing came up. You could remember going on a mission with your fleet, getting caught in harsh crossover... then crashing right back here, only a few moment ago. And now you hurt so badly and Poe hated you. What had happened?

"But Poe, I-I didn't go to Naboo."

"You did!" he hissed.

"No," you said. "I... why would I?"

Poe clenched his jaw. "You tell me."

"I don't know," you told him.

"You don't know?" he asked, voice rising. He yanked on your arm and you screamed and fell over on the ground, unable to walk or stand on your jelly-like legs that burned like they were still in the fire.

This wasn't Poe. Poe wouldn't treat you like this.

"No!" you cried, dropping your head and cowering from him. "I-I don't remember."

"Well, I do." He started walking again, reaching down to grab you by the arm once more. Just like before, he ignored your moan of pain. You were stumbling through a crowd of shocked people you knew and they did nothing.

You struggled to remember what was happening or what had happened. You had no memories of anything. You couldn't remember Naboo, or last week, or last month --- your concept of time was gone. You were so lost.

"On Naboo..." you mumbled out loud. "What was I doing on Naboo?"

"You tell me," he said, bitterly. He took you through the hangar and down a flight of stairs, straight towards the prisons and interrogation rooms. "I didn't know you were so close to him."

"To who?!"

Poe didn't answer. He got to the cells and shoved you into the grip of one of the guards there. As if they were expecting your arrival, they put handcuffs on you and put you directly in a cell. They locked the door of it and you were now in a room, small and cold, with grey walls and a single grey bench attached to the wall. A sliver of a viewport gave you access to view the hall, where you saw Poe leave, a look of hate on his face.

In pain, both physical and emotional, you started to cry. You were so lost and afraid.

How were you suddenly a criminal? How were you suddenly all alone?

Weakened completely, you lay on the bench and let the unconsciousness come over you. The pain was too intense. Help was not coming. Staring at the ceiling, you thought, I would never betray the Resistance.

But you couldn't even remember if that was true or not.

Back on the Silencer, Kylo Ren prepared a fleet of stormtroopers to raid the Resistance base. They knew they were coming now, but they were not able to flee or prepare. It would be an easy fight --- and an easy defeat. And Kylo would have you back in his care once again, where you wouldn't be hurt again.

"Sir," Hux said through the com. "Perhaps you should consider the danger of attacking the Resistance base head on---"

Impatiently, Kylo retorted, "General Hux. Are you telling me that you doubt the strength of your army made of thousands of men and women?"

"No... no sir." Hux remained silent.

"You argue with me against the idea of a clone army, yet you doubt your own soldiers. Make up your mind, General."

They landed on the base. Knowing that the Resistance was already well aware of their presence, the army spilled out of their transport vehicles and ran head on towards the base, planting bombs around the perimeter and covering the base on all sides.

Kylo walked slightly behind them, lightsaber in hand. He let the Force guide him to what he knew he needed to see; your ship, still aflame, sitting several hundred feet in the clearing of the hangar. He approached it slowly, two stormtroopers on either side of him. Your seat was empty, and it had yet to be burned like the rest of your ship.

A glimmer of hope. He searched for you, and he felt you. Weakened, hurt, confused, but alive. He turned towards the stormtroopers. "She's still alive. Search the base for her. Kill anyone who crosses you. I want her found!"

"Yes, sir." The stormtroopers continued on, barking the new orders into their comms.

Transports opened and soldiers poured out of them. As Kylo walked around the wreckage and towards the hangar, he watched the Resistance fighters appear and fight. This was an attack they were not prepared for. As dangerous as it was for the First Order to go fully into the Resistance base, it was even more dangerous for the Resistance soldiers as their safe haven was compromised and their lives were put on the line in a matter of seconds. Soldiers fired their blasters at him, and he simply walked by, catching the blaster shots with the swing of his lightsaber or push of the Force. And as he walked, he watched them die.

They were losing.

An alarm was blaring, and you didn't know why. There was a tiny window in the top of your door. You stood up on your tiptoes to peer out of it, but the hallway was clear and quiet, aside from the blaring alarm. A red light flashed against the chrome walls.

"Hello?" you shouted.

A pair of Resistance soldiers ran by your door without pausing to let you out. You weren't expecting them to release you, because by the look you'd seen from every single person today, they all wanted you to die.

Frustrated, you accepted that for whatever reason, you would be the last person anyone would save. You had to do this yourself.

Your mind began reeling. There wasn't anything in your cell except a bench bolted to the wall. But they'd left your jumpsuit on you. They hadn't checked your pockets or anything. You had to have something --- anything --- to pry the door open with or cut into the wall. You always carried plenty of tools on a mission.

In the first pocket you reached into, you pulled out a ring. It was made of thick silver, clean cut and simple. And you held it in your hand and stared at it. It looked familiar, but you couldn't place it. Was this yours?

Slowly, you backed up until your knees hit the bench. You lowered yourself and observed the ring that looked like a wedding band. The focus on the alarm fell away as your mind slowly began to clear. You slipped it on your left hand, on your finger closest to your pinky. Because that felt right. You couldn't understand why it felt right.

The entire floor shook as a giant rumble and burst of orange flames came into the prison wing. You got on your feet quickly and rushed back to the door. A gasp left your lips when you saw a dark cloaked figure. Staggering backwards, you heard the sound of a lightsaber igniting. It shoved through the steel door of your cell. Your eyes widened when you saw that it was red. Angry, jagged cuts tore it down from its hinges. It hit the ground with a loud thud.

And you watched in horror as Kylo Ren walked into your cell. You could remember things. They came in flashes. Catching Poe as he stumbled onto Yavin-4, bloodied and bruised and traumatized by Kylo Ren's torture. Facing Kylo Ren for the first time only a few weeks later, full of anger at what he had done to your best friend. Poe thinking you were dead, leaving you behind on the mission. Kylo Ren finding you on the ground, left for dead, abandoned by the Resistance.

He put his lightsaber away. He lifted his helmet.

And then you could remember more.

Him sitting by your bedside in the medical wing. Telling you he felt compassion he didn't understand. Giving you a place in the First Order. Eventually removing his helmet in front of you. Touching the scar of the lightsaber wound the scavenger girl had left on him. Telling you that he loved you.

You had said that you'd never betray the Resistance, but you were so wrong. Because suddenly, you were remembering that you did betray the Resistance, and you would again and again. All for this man in front of you.

This man, who once picked you up off the ground, with a blaster shot in your side, and kept you there while he healed you, not expecting anything in return. This man, who healed you from what should've been a fatal shot after your own fleet had abandoned you to die, thinking that you were a lost cause and unnecessary weight.

This man, who you married on Naboo only a few days ago. All of your memories returned.

"Kylo," you whispered. "Kylo, I'm so sorry---"

"Look what they've done to you," he said. He crossed over to you and touched your arm, where your skin was covered in horrifying burns and blisters. You hissed, even though his touch was light, and he pulled back. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," you breathed. "I'm---"

He shook his head, pained at the sight, and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. "I thought I had lost you forever."

"I did, too," you admitted.

You heard the click of a blaster, and you and Kylo turned to look. It was Poe, with a look of betrayal on his face, and a blaster pointed right at you.

"Poe," you said. "Please. We didn't... we didn't want --- I didn't want --- just let us go."

"I can't let that happen," he said, and he pulled the trigger again and again.

Before it could hit you or Kylo, your husband was moving, hitting the blaster shots with his lightsaber, reaching out with the Force and dragging Poe straight into his grasp. He gripped his throat and slammed him against the wall, putting the ignited blade close to his face.

"The Resistance..." gasped Poe, "will not be intimidated by you."

"Yes," Kylo said. "I've heard that one from you before, pilot."

"But t--this time, I'm not intimidated by you," Poe said. He pushed the end of his blaster against Kylo's side.

In the second before he could shoot Kylo with his blaster, you took it from him. You turned it on him and he stared at you with hate in his eyes. Kylo dropped him; he fell in a slump on the floor, gasping for breath.

"You'll die," Poe rasped. He leaned against the wall, fingers brushing against his bruised throat. "You'll die with the First Order. There won't be any mercy for you when they're defeated."

"I don't doubt that there won't be mercy for me. I'm not looking for mercy." you said. You turned towards Kylo, took his hand, and then looked back at Poe. "When the time comes, the Resistance will fall. And the Order will reign supreme. I will not die. The First Order will not die."

Your loyalty for the First Order was sealed in that moment. You gave Poe one final look, and in your eyes, he could see the change. His anger melted away and great sadness replaced it. He swallowed hard.

"___," he whispered. "Please. Don't do this."

"Goodbye, Poe Dameron," you said. With Kylo's hand in yours, you left him behind in the cell, alive and broken by the betrayal of his best friend.

Back on base, you stood at the side of your husband. The two of you stared down at the stormtroopers as they left the transports. Not even a third of them had been killed by the Resistance while the Resistance lost at least half of their own soliders.

"Now that my time of being a spy is over, I don't know what my role here will be. I can never go back to the Resistance base."

"Does that make you sad? That you cannot go back?"

"No," you said quickly. "You misunderstood me. I'm not sad. I'm just... unsure of my place. That's all. What do I do next?"

"I know what is next for you," he said, "if you wish to have it."

"What is it?" you asked.

He turned his head towards you. "Be my empress. And rule all of this beside me. Together we will destroy all of it. The Jedi, the Sith, the Resistance. The First Order will be all that there is. We can achieve it if only we do it together."

A swell of feelings rose up inside of you. A swell of pride, of happiness, of love. You could see it; standing at his side as he sits on a throne, watching from a high place at a new galaxy. You would rule at his side forever. The galaxy would be whatever you and Kylo wanted it to be. It was yours.

In reply, you reached up and kissed him with all of your passion.