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It had been a long string of particularly rough days. You'd never felt more like a screw-up until this week. Tons of incorrect reports sent in, assignments turned in far past the date they were requested, and multiple slip ups on easy missions. Missed shots, moving too slow, screwing up the plans your leaders had. Screwing up even the most simple orders. 

Your brain felt fuzzy and your limbs felt too slow. You were a poor excuse for Rebel, that much was true. You'd never felt worse about yourself until now.

But today was a fresh day with a fresh set of orders. You and Cassian had new orders to investigate why Imperials had started shipping kyber crystals across the galaxy. He had a guy named Tivik on the Ring of Kafrene, waiting with crucial information. You and Cassian went on missions together often, so something like this would be something comfortable and normal. Maybe you'd do better today.

You'd certainly feel better, having a day with Cassian. A day where the two of you could be together without any unwanted stares on you. Well, except K-2 would be there like always. He knew of yours and Cassian's relationship but kept it as secret as you wanted him to. It was the one good thing about the droid.

You sighed as you tossed your bag onto the floor of the open U-WING. You took the giant step up to board it and glanced around. Cassian was nowhere to be found, but his droid was standing at the front of the ship, working on the datapad in front of him. 

"Hey, K-2," you greeted. You picked your bag off the floor and tossed it onto the co-pilot's chair. 

"Hello," he replied. "Are you coming?" 

"Yeah," you said, eyebrows pulling together. "Why?" 

"No... reason," he said.

"Okay," you said, confused. You turned back to your bag and opened it. You started to rummage through it, making sure you had everything you would need. 

"Cassian thinks it's a bad idea if you come this time. I think so, too." 

Your hands stopped. "What?" 

"I said Cassian thinks it's a bad idea if you come this time," he repeated. "I think so, too." 

Betrayal. That was the first thing you felt. You thought of how you'd told Cassian you'd been having a tough week and he had assured you that you were doing nothing wrong and that the job wasn't always easy but you were good at what you did... And now there was this. After he had bragged about you to all of his friends. After he had kissed you sweetly in the dark and told you that there was no one better than you. He was talking about you behind your back?

You swallowed hard and rolled your eyes as you turned on your heels to face the reprogrammed Imperial droid that belonged to your best friend. "Oh, do you now?" 

"Yes," K-2SO said. "And so does Cassian. Did you hear that part?" 

"I did," you said, nodding. You tried to ignore the pain that comment caused you. K-2 always said whatever came into his head, so you shouldn't be surprised that he would make a comment like that. But hearing that it was Cassian that had said it too and had talked to his droid about it, knowing that his droid was as talkative as he was uncaring --- that hurt in a different way. "Did he really say that?"

"He did. He said, she really shouldn't come this time. And I said, yes. I agree. It's about time we agree on something again." 

You gulped. "Thank you for telling me." 

"Well, you're welcome. I guess." He shook his head and turned away from you. "Since we both think it's a bad idea, maybe you should stay behind." 

"This is my mission," you said. "Cassian didn't assign it to me. Mon Mothma did." 

"Still," he said. "I think he's talking about getting you removed from the mission."

"He's what?" 

Thud! You turned your head to see Cassian toss his own bag onto the floor of the U-WING. He hopped up and glanced over at you and K-2. "Everybody ready?"

You didn't know what to say. Your blood was ice and your eyes were stinging with betrayal. He was looking at you with a soft smile on his lips. 

"I'm ready," K-2 said.

"Do you have everything, Captain?" your voice asked bitterly. 

He glanced around. "I... I think so." 

"You're not forgetting anything?" 

"Not that I know of. Are you?" 

"No." Your voice was so harsh, but he didn't question it. "I only wondered if maybe you were bringing too much on this mission is all." 

He laughed, and you could've sworn he sounded slightly nervous. "No, I don't think so. Come on, we've got a lengthy journey ahead of us."

As he passed by you, he patted your shoulder, his hand lingering there for a moment. You let your eyes fall to the floor as you thought about how unfair this was. One bad week and your closest friend was asking if you would get moved so you wouldn't go on missions with him again. Cassian meant everything to you. You thought you meant the same to him.

"You can co-pilot, K-2," you whispered to the droid. You grabbed your bag before he or Cassian could protest and moved to the back of the ship, where you sat in the furthest corner and crossed your arms over your chest. "I'm not really in the mood today." 

"Oh. Alright." The droid shrugged and sat next to Cassian. 

Cassian looked at you, aware of how you were avoiding his gaze, and then back at his droid. "What did you tell her?" 

"Don't blame that attitude on me," K-2 said defensively. "I told her the truth." 

"Why would you do that?" 

"Because she's got a right to know, Cassian. You didn't want her to come on this mission. I didn't either. I'd much prefer it to be just us two. Much easier on all of us, I think." 

"I'm not deaf," you snapped. You glared at the two and stood up quickly. Your bag crashed to the floor and you reached down to pick it up and toss it outside of the ship. "You know what? I'll take you up on your suggestion, Cassian. I won't be going on this mission. I won't be going on any mission again."

He turned in his chair. "___---" 

You didn't want to hear it. You stepped off the ship, swooping down to grab your bag and toss it over your back. You walked towards the base with tears in your eyes. You hated them for wanting to spill. You were so angry, so angry that it was making you more emotional but you didn't want to cry. You wanted to yell. You wanted to yell right in his face.

And so you turned around and he staggered to a stop in front of you, worry on his face. 

"How could you?" you spat. 

He took in a deep breath and held up his hands. "Listen to me." 

"No," you said. "You listen to me. I'm so angry with you, Cassian! How could you?"

"I know---"

"No, you don't know," you said. The tears spilled over and they only made you angrier. "And you know the worst part? That you would tell K-2 that you didn't want me. I know I've made some mistakes this week and you know that it's killed me that I have. But punishing me for them? What is wrong with you?" 

"I know it looks bad," he said. "And I regret telling K-2 anything at all. You know I make stupid decisions sometimes and---"

"I hate you," you whispered. "I really do hate you. You are supposed to support me and encourage me and you did this."

He stopped, hands dropping to his sides. "You don't mean that." 

"I do," you whispered, but you didn't. Of course you didn't.

"I wanted you to stay behind because I was worried that this mission would be too much for you," he explained. "After the week you had... I was worried that it would only make you worse. I was just looking out for you."

"This isn't how you look out for someone you care about!" 

"I know!" He raised his voice and you jumped slightly. He pressed a closed fist to his mouth and stepped back, shutting his eyes. Softer now, he said. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. And I didn't mean... I didn't mean to make you feel like I was doubting you. I'm not. I was worried about you, and I was asking them to give you a chance to just recuperate. Last week was hard on you."

"There was a better way to go about that," you said, wiping away your tears quickly. "I thought you loved me and this made me doubt that you ever did."

"How could you ever doubt what I feel for you?" He stepped closer to you and you let him take your hands. His rough skin smoothed over yours. You couldn't look at him, but he couldn't not look at you. "Listen to me. Everything I do, I do for you. Not against you. I see now that I need to be better at how I go about doing things, but please know that you... I could never doubt your strength or ability. Doubting you isn't an option." 

You sniffled and nodded, turning your head to wipe your wet face against the sleeve of your shirt. Cassian leaned in and kissed the top of your head before he pressed his face there, buried in the softness of your hair. "I don't really hate you." 

"I know you don't." 

"I'm sorry I said it," you said. 

"And I'm sorry that I said all that I did to K-2," he said. "He misinterprets things."

K-2 stood behind Cassian. "I do not!" 

The two of you ignored the droid as you pulled your hands away to wipe your face. You finally let yourself look into his eyes. He frowned sadly. You knew he was sorry. He hadn't meant to bring your biggest insecurities into light, but he had. 

"I love you more than anything," he whispered. His hands moved to cup your face and your fingers trailed up his arms to his wrists, finally stopping to rest over the back of his hands. You let your eyes close as you felt his warm breath against your lips. "I promise I'll do better." 

"I know you do," you said. "I love you, too." You closed the space between the two of you, kissing him slowly like you always loved to. He mumbled an apology against your mouth and you hummed, drowning him out as you pulled away. "We already apologized for what we did. We don't need to bring it up anymore, Cassian."

He nodded and you were kissing him again. His worry for you spilled onto your lips and you understood. He wanted you by his side always, but sometimes what he had to do was too much for you. He never wanted to be too much for you. 

Truthfully, you weren't sure he would ever be too much for you. And so you held onto him tightly, knowing very well that your day would get better because of him after all.