A/N: sorta a reader insert of a part of Attack of the Clones

Warnings: violence, alcohol, one tiny kiss, idk what else,

Word count: 2328

You sit there, stunned, glass of spotchka still in your hand, halfway up to your mouth as you take in the old farmer's words. She's been gone a month, he'd said. Anakin's mother, taken by the Tuskan Raiders. Suddenly, Anakin stands up, the scrape of his chair on the ground breaking the silence.

'Where are you going?' The farmer's son asks.

'To find his mother,' you answer, putting down your glass and standing up too.

Anakin turns to you. 'There's no use trying to stop me.'

'When have I ever tried to stop you?' You sigh. 'I may be a Padawan, just like you, Ani, but I know you can feel her pain. I know you know she's alive.'

'Take my speeder bike,' the son says, and Anakin nods and turns towards the door. You follow him out, and just as the two of you are about to get on the bike, Padmé comes running out of the door.

'You are going to stay here,' Anakin says firmly. 'These are good people. You'll be safe.'

You nod. 'He's right.'

She bows her head, and, with a sigh, she walks back inside.

And now, you and Ani crouch behind a rocky outcropping, spying on the Tuskan raider's camp like it's something the two of you do every day, your speeder bike left about a mile away, or you'd have been spotted. You flick your Padawan braid over your shoulder, huffing quietly to yourself as Ani nudges you forward, hand on his lightsaber. You want to tell him to stop worrying, but what can you do? His mother is definitely in this camp, and she's in pain; both of you can feel that now you've come closer.

Plus, you've known Anakin your whole life. He's stubborn and can be a little too arrogant at times, and you've only heard him speak about his mother once, but when he did, you saw the unmistakable emotion in his eyes which tell you that right now he isn't backing down just because of a camp of Tuskans. The two of you are enough to kill them all in a few minutes, and besides, Anakin's sword skills rival your own, and although the two of you are the same age, you've been a Padawan longer since you started training a few years younger.

'Go,' Ani hisses in your ear, poking your back, and you turn around.

'Kriff, calm down,' you whisper back. 'I'm going.'

Quickly, your feet not even crunching on the sand, you almost float over the ground as you make a beeline for the shadow behind one of the Tuskan's huts. Anakin follows quickly behind you, joining you as you dodge to the next hut.

'You see those two?' He whispers. 'They must be guards.'

'I'm not stupid, my young Padawan,' you tease.

'Glad to know, my old Padawan,' he replies, supplying the second half of the private joke you two share. You roll your eyes at him, simultaneously grabbing his hand reassuringly because you can sense the tension in him.

'Two Padawans with lightsabers against a bunch of sand people, we'll be fine, Ani.' You grin at him. 'We'll go in through the back door.'

'What back door - '

You wiggle your eyebrows at him before running over to the hut which is being guarded, flattening yourself against the wall to check if you've been noticed. Two of the Tuskan's animals start growling at each other over a bone, and you take your chance, switching on your lightsaber and cutting a neat hole through the back of the hut, kindly making it a little bigger so Ani can fit through as well as you.

Straightening up after stepping through, your breath catches in your throat. There are candles everywhere, and a shaft of moonlight pierces the gloom of the hut. By its light, you see her. You've never met her, but you know her anyway. Anakin's mother, tied up, brutal wounds on her face. Immediately, you know she doesn't have long left, and you turn to Ani as he squirms through the hole you made, which means he's probably grown since you last checked. His eyes widen, and he rushes over to his mother, freeing her and letting her fall into his arms as he lowers her gently to the ground.

'Mom,' he whispers, hands shaking. 'Mom, mom...'

Her eyes flutter and barely open, caked with blood. You look away, not sure if you shuld be seeing this, but unwilling to leave because you know Ani and you know what he'll do after she's gone, and you're assigning yourself the job of stopping him.

'Ani,' she gasps. 'Is it you?'

'I - I'm getting you out of here,' he chokes out. 'You're safe.'

'You look so handsome,' she murmurs. 'My son, my grown up son... I'm so proud of you, Ani, so proud... I missed you... Now I am complete...'

'Just stay with me, Mom,' you hear Anakin say desperately. 'I'm going to make you well again. Everything's going to be fine.'

'I - I - I love...'

There's silence, and you bow your head as you feel the Force shift, feel the energy surrounding you change. Finally, you turn to face Anakin, grabbing a roll of cloth nearby and passing it to him.

'Wrap her in this,' you say softly. 'Ani... I'm sorry. I wish I could say more...'

He's silent as he wraps his mother's body. Eventually, he's finished, and your heart drops into your throat as he looks up. And you recognise pain, sorrow, in his blue eyes, but mostly, mostly you see rage.

'No, Ani - '

He lays his mother on the ground and stands, and you're not fast enough to stop him as he steps out of the hut, his face a grim mask. You yell his name, leaping forward as he instantly kills the two guards. Gritting your teeth, you switch on your lightsaber and the hum fills your ears as you block his third blow, your two weapons locked together above a Tuskan child's head.

'Stop this, Ani,' you growl. 'While I'm here, I'm not letting your soul be destroyed by hate.'

'Why do you care?' He retorts.

'Oh, maybe because I like your soul?' You snap, shoving his lightsaber to the side and letting the child run off, screaming.

'I think I'm already too far gone.'

'I think you aren't.'

'Even if I am, I can't stop it. It doesn't matter any more.'

'I believe you can, Ani. It matters. You're a Jedi. You fight it.'

'I'm not a Jedi, I'm a Padawan.'

'You need to let this anger go,' you answer, not backing down. This is a arguement where you need to dig your heels in. 'Even if you kill these Tuskans, there's still thousands of them out here. This is a whole planet, Ani.'

His jaw is clenched, eyes blazing, but he clips his lightsaber to his belt. 'What do you want me to do, then?'

'Let's leave this camp, first.' You answer, turning away and walking over in the direction of the speeder bike, aware of Anakin's furious presence behind you.

------------

Anakin's about to get on the speeder, but you tell him to stop. Switching on your lightsaber, you drop into a crouch.

'Fight me,' you order. 'Fight me like your life depends on it.'

'I - Y/N - '

You lunge forward, and suddenly his blue lightsaber is out, blocking your attack and pushing you backwards. Quickly, you regain your balance, and you pause for a moment, but he's ruthless, lunging forward, kicking up a plume of sand as you're forced into defence. You've never seen him fight like this before - yes, you've seen him fight for his life, and it's that that you're expecting, but it's like even more than his life depends on it right now, like if he doesn't win, the universe will implode. Gritting your teeth, you duck a wild swing for him and go for his liver, but before you even do it, you can see he'll block it easily. Gasping, you take another step back as Anakin fights you with nothing on his mind but the pain of his lost mother, and suddenly, you're backed up against a rocky outcrop, and his foot lashes out and catches you in the stomach, making you fall to your knees. You grip loosens on your lightsaber and he uses the Force to send it flying away, grabbing your hair and wrenching your head back, holding the lightsaber to your throat.

He could easily kill you. Easily lop off your head and leave it rolling in the dust. Because, damn it, the Padawan who's had years less training than you has you on your knees by his feet, at his mercy. You lock your eyes on his blue ones, and your breath hitches, your lips almost but not quite forming the words 'do it' because you know that it's his choice to make.

Suddenly, he snarls, switching off his lightsaber, and for a second, you think he's going to fling it onto the sand, but he just clips it to his belt, using the Force to whizz your own to you and letting it fall into your hand. You look at him, slightly bewildered, but you can see he doesn't want to speak as he climbs neatly onto the speeder bike, looking like he's hardly broken a sweat. You can see he's struggling, fighting his rage, like you asked him, because of course he realised you asked him to fight to make him take his anger out on you, of course he realised you put your life in his hands for a moment, not even pleading him to stop, of course he realised that you're far too attached to him than you should be. Attached enough that you risked your life to try and save a Padawan who might have been and might still be too far gone.

-----------------

You don't say anything to Anakin the whole journey back. Or when you get back. Partly because the two of you know each other well enough to be able to communicate non verbally, just reading each other's body language, and partly because neither of you want to confront each other. But now, now you've decided you've left him stewing enough. Quietly, you pad down the stairs, knowing he'll sense your presence. You haven't brought food, which you know Padmé would have, and you can't help focus on this ridiculous flaw as you step into the room where Ani is repairing part of the speeder bike, despite the fact you aren't there to bring him food, you're there to talk things through with him.

You lean against the wall, watching him for a while, judging whether he wants to talk to you or not, whether he'll just take out his lightsaber and just finish you this time.

'The shifter broke,' he says softly, turning to you. 'Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things. I'm good at fixing things... always was. But I couldn't...' He stops tinkering with the bike, and you know his eyes are wet. 'Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!'

You step forward, grab his arm. 'No, Ani,' you answer. 'Some things no one can fix. There are many things, many things which I wish I could fix, but I can't, as much as you couldn't fix your mother. No one can fix anything, Ani, and the reason why is it's a burden. You'd go around everywhere, seeing things you should fix, and one day, you'd burn yourself out.' You pause, grabbing his face between your hands. 'I don't want your burning yourself out, Ani. I - I need you, you know.'

'I hated them,' he says. 'I hated them, I was going to kill them, but you... you stopped me.' He looks away. 'I would have killed you, and you didn't even make a move to stop me!'

'It was your choice,' you answer. 'One day, there might not be someone to stop you.'

He shakes his head savagely, like you've got it wrong and you'll coexist with him until you both die together. He doesn't speak, doesn't make a sound, but suddenly he's in your arms, his tears running down your skin as he presses his face into your neck, trembling against you.

'I - I'm sorry,' he sobs. 'I can't do this, I can't do this any more - '

'Maybe not on your own,' you answer simply.

Anakin doesn't answer; can't answer, just takes in what you said, hears your sweet voice echo in his mind over and over, shocked that someone he almost killed would still stand beside him, shocked that you would stand beside him, even after seeing how dangerous he could be. After a while, he spoke, his voice wobbly.

'Thank you.'

You sigh. 'I thought you were ignoring me at first.'

He cocks his head, ignoring your attempt to lighten the mood and looks at you, blue eyes piercing into you. 'Sometimes, you're the wisest Padawan I ever met.'

'Hoping this is one of the times,' you mutter. 'Anyway, you probably cover wiseness in your next year as a Padawan.'

'You mean wisdom.' He grinned.

You smiled. 'Yeah, that,' you replied, gently touching a hand to his cheek. Ani encircles your wrist with his slim fingers and brings your knuckles to his lips and kisses them lightly, and you look at him, an overwhelming wave of tenderness washing through you. Without thinking, you rise onto your tip toes and fit your mouth to his. His arms encircle you, his lips warm and soft against yours, before he pulls away slowly, leaving his face barely inches from his.

'Thank you,' he whispers softly.

'For what?'

'For saving me.'

-------------

Years later, Anakin stayed by the light side. He was right. You had saved him.