CHAPTER ONE

How Can I Live Like Nothing Ever Happened?

(Maahirah)

'If I had an idea to what love feels like, I wouldn't have had made a place from him in my heart.' Maahirah, FS.

6th January.

ALL I KNOW is that I'm hungry, very hungry. I can feel the muscle of my stomach wall, gnawing my skin. This 'hunger' stimulus is something new. Something that I haven't experienced in like three days after my return from Elton. And, a stimulus, like this needs an immediate response.

So, I get up from the bed and quickly, put on a robe. I rush out of my room, and tiptoe down the stairs because it's way past midnight and every one in my house is fast asleep.

I don't turn on the kitchen light. The moonlight through the windowpane is enough guidance. I pull the oven with its handle and it squeaks; which echoes in the kitchen. I stop, hearing any movement that I can feel coming from upstairs. When I hear nothing except, the constant hum of the window and the song of the cricket outside, I return to my work.

I quickly pull the oven and pick out the bread that Mom must have had baked yesterday morning. Putting it on the plate, I, with a bump of my hip, close the oven.

Just as I open the door of the refrigerator and peek at its contents, I hear a slight movement somewhere behind me. I straighten up, straining my ear. Silence.

Shaking my head, I bend down and just as I'm about to grab mayonnaise, something happens in just two seconds.

I feel a hand circles around my waist and their other hand, claps on my mouth, blocking my source of scream. My heart palpitates in my chest, and despite the dense, winter and the cold gas seeping out through the refrigerator, I've started sweating. The person pulls me into them, so now my back is pressed to their chest.

Sparks burst through my spine; like a jolt of electricity passing through me. Butterflies erupt in my stomach, almost like the lava vomiting out of a volcano. Instead of my heart to slow it's has started beating faster than before.

"Don't scream," His voice whispers in my ear.

I nod. He lets of his hand around my mouth and twists me around, and I come face to face with Aayan, my husband; and I stare at him, observing him; his face. His chocolate brown eyes glint in the moonlight. His lips full; ripe red, and his brown hair just as floppy and messy as I remember.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in? Wasn't the door locked? I'm sure I remember locking the doors. You couldn't have used the window." I take a deep breath. "Good, you're here. I miss you." I thrust my arms around him, hugging him, enjoying his warmth and his feel.

"Maahirah," Aayan says in his deep, husky, dangerous low voice. Oh, how much I miss his voice.

I melt internally. If it wasn't for his arm holding me, I'm sure I would have had tumbled down. I draw back. "Yeah,"

He swallows; his Adam's apple moving up and down. I see tears glistening in his eyes. "I miss you, too." He says, and leans down, and gives (liken he always does) a soft peck.

Seconds later, he pulls back, and when he closes his eyes and I blink, he's gone. He's gone. I look around frantically. Only his cologne the proof of his presence. I slam the door of the refrigerator. And, when I turn around, I see Aayan's body hanging from the chandelier in the hallway across from the kitchen. Blood oozing out of his neck as the wire presses to his throat. His eyes bulging out.

I scream. "Noooooooooooo!!!"

Screaming, I open my eyes and sit up straight. I look wildly around, trying to find where I'm. When I see my blanket on my thighs and I'm on my bed, and in my room, realization dawns on me that I'M IN MY ROOM, and that it was just a nightmare.

"It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare." I tell myself again and again. This doesn't comfort me. My heart is gone wild in my chest. Goosebumps telling me that I'm scared. I swallow, hard. Shivering, subconsciously, I grab my cell-phone and dial his number, and bring it to my ear.

"The number you're trying to reach is unreachable. Please try again later." The line cuts off.

I bite my lip. Why won't he pick up his phone?

I throw the covers off me and get down from the bed. Turning on the light, I look at myself in the dresser. When I touch my lips, a shiver runs down my spine as I remember the peck of his lips. The dream felt too real to be a lie.

I pull my hair in a tight ponytail. What if it really happened? Before I was taken to Elton, I had visions about my birth-mother being alive though everyone thought she was dead. I had visions of what was happening in Elton, and it was really happening. I grip the edges of the dresser, suddenly my legs go jelly.

Oh, my God. He couldn't have had seen me in my pajamas and tank top. My face heats up with embarrassment, and then, instantly, it pales. What if he is in trouble? What if he is bleeding somewhere out there and no one is there to help him.

I take deep breaths. He's fine. He has to be fine. It was just a nightmare. I jump up when my alarm starts ringing.

"Ya Allah. Time to get ready for school!"

*****************************

When I'm ready for my first day of last semester of my senior year, I can't help but feel nervous. After a month, I'll be seeing my friends, which is exciting and scary at the same time. I haven't been a really nice friend losing touch with all of them. They must think I'm selfish or something.

"Maahirah. Come here." Mom calls out from the kitchen. I smile without an intercom; her voice still reaches perfectly to my room. She's got some high vocals.

I sling my backpack over my shoulder, and rush down the stairs. I pause by the last step, and just swallow everything going on around my home. The aroma of coffee and waffles circulates around the hallway; Vaneeza chatters about her exciting new day at school; and Dad sitting in the lounge watching the news, sipping on his coffee.

Oh, how I missed my home. It's good to back.

Just as I turn right to kitchen, Mom calls me out from the lounge. "You need to see this, Maahirah."

Frowning, I walk into the lounge room. Mom has her lips pressed in a straight line, and Dad has his eyes narrowed down, like he is frowning. I look at the TV, to find a lady speaking on the microphone. She has a light make up, and I can see the background is the grill spreading people out of the way of whoever walks on the red carpet.

"It's always a pleasure for me to be having a quick chit-chat with this guy. He is always welcoming. And, I just have two questions." She is speaking as confidently as she can. "There was this rumor that you went MIA for six months because you were writing some new songs for your new album. Is it true?"

My heart is going crazy before even when the camera rolls on his face, and when it does, I lean against the door-frame. He is wearing Ray-Ban stylish sunglasses and his hair is gelled up. His suit and tie makes him look as dapper as anyone else.

He chuckles lightly. "Well, Beth. It's always good to see you." He puts his hands in his pocket. "Yeah, I was up recording. I can't wait for you guys to hear the album." He winks at Beth.

A feeling of churning emotion stabs in my stomach and it occurs to me that it is called as jealousy. Why wouldn't he wink at her? She is a woman. She has the body. She is pretty. 

Beth laughs in the TV. (Oh, such a fake laugh!!)  "Oh, I'm sure it'll be awesome and worth a while as it is always, Aayan. Second and last question; I heard rumor that you are together with some girl?"

I inhale a sharp breath as I watch him stroke his chin and narrow his eyebrows. A little rekindles in my heart but it dies when he answers.

"No, I'm single."

Dad growls and shuts off the TV, and looks at me. "Maahirah,"

"I'm fine. I need to get to school, I'm already late." With heavy heart, I lie to my Dad and smile at my teary-eyed Mom, and exit the house.

**********************************

Throughout, the twenty minutes ride, I'm fuming. How dare he act like I'm not there? How is he living and I can't. How can he do this to me? Didn't I give him my words to always be there? Is he out there partying and I'm here worried sick about him and he is not returning my calls at all.

Just as I park my car in the lot, I'm suddenly nervous as my hands shake when I turn off the ignition. Oh God, how can I face every one? I haven't seen them for three weeks. I take a deep breath.

I made it through Elton and I'll make it through this, too. I pick up my backpack and take the keys out of the ignition and get down.

Thank God, the parking lot isn't crowded and most of them are juniors so they have least chances of recognizing me, not that I'm worried about them.

Ducking my head, I walk towards the building, and just as I push the double doors, I'm met with thousands of murmuring, that sounds melodious to my ears. A freshman skates across the hallways. Girls sequel talking about their vacations with their friends, and boys clap each other on the back, laughing loudly.

I smile and walk up to my locker. Turning the combo, I pull it, but it's jammed. I try it again; pulling it. But, it won't budge. I'm about to attempt for the third time, however, a hand snakes around my waist, and bangs its fist against the metal, and I hear a click before the door opens.

"Hey,"

I move away from under Darren's arm.

"Hi,"

He smiles, and flips his head back, making his hair floppy. "It's good to see you."

I nod. "Excuse me."

He side-steps gracefully. "Sure why not."

As I'm taking out the books, Darren is leaning against the locker, staring at me. His jaws ticking and I'm doing my best not to be self-conscious. But, when his gaze gets too intense, the thick Chemistry book slips from my hands and falls on the tiles with a thud.

Before I can bend, Darren has already beaten me to it. I shut my locker and stuff the books in my backpack. He's up now. My book still in his hand.

"Um, you have first Chemistry class?"

"Yeah."

"Lemme walk you to the class."

"Okay."

We go around the stairs, and he is walking beside me so quietly; almost like he's my shadow. Unsaid words hang in the air. As we round the corner, I open my mouth to speak, however, he has beaten me again.

"You saw the news today?"

My heart beat increases with his sudden question so I act cool. "What news?"

"Don't drag it Maahirah,," His grayish-blue eyes pierce into mine.

I gulp. I failed in trying twice today.

"Yes, I saw the news if you're referring to Aayan." I look ahead. "It doesn't bother me. He can live his life how he wants, I'm fine. For six months, I can pretend like he means nothing to me, and I mean nothing to him."

He scoffs. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Maahirah. You guys share an understanding; just don't throw it outside the window. He's a guy," He clenches his fist. "And, we guys can be pretty confusing, and I wouldn't want you to give up on him just because he isn't clear about himself."

I smile, and stop outside of the class. "Thank you, Darren."

He grins, and bows. "Pleasure."

"My book." I hold my hand out.

"Ahh..."

"MAAHIRAH!!" A loud screams cuts him off, and seconds later someone pushes Darren out of the way, and wraps their arms around me. The force nearly sends me on the floor but I steady myself.

"Ellie."

"God. Don't Ellie me. You have been MIA since the night of the play. You have no idea how crazy I went contacting you. I thought something was extremely wrong with you. Or, worst I thought that you had died. But, then three-four days later, I went up to your parents house and they told me that you have gone to live with your aunt who lives in a very far place and to get in contact with you was difficult. Only then I could breathe." And she breathes.

I blink back tears at her cuteness. "Oh Ellie," Her own pale blue eyes linger with tears and despite that she smiles and says.

"I'm so glad you're back, and you are not harmed at all."

I, too smile.

The bell rings indicating the beginning of the first class.

"Anyways, you have no idea how much I missed you in this vacation. You know what, I'm so so so happy to tell you this that I read thick novels......."

As Ellie starts ranting off about vacations, I take a deep breath and look at Darren who is watching us fondly. He catches my eyes and hands me my Chemistry book, quickly, and mouths. "Good luck."

I nod, and Ellie pulls my hand and drags me into the class, still talking.

Oh, how will I survive with your pain in my heart, Aayan. But, I'm certainly learning to smile.....I'll learn, Aayan. I surely will learn......

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This chapter was just s filter kind of so I can get on with the story. This sequel will deal with Aayan, Maahirah and Darren's relationship. It will deal with Maahirah losing people, and then saving those she could.

It will be of minimum 35 chapters and maximum 40 chapters.

In this chapter, you can already see how Aayan's absence is already taking its toll on Maahirah. You guys have any clue why is Aayan acting this way? Why isn't he returning her calls? COMMENT BELOW..............

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Love you all.

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PS: That's Darren Anderson in the media. <3