E P I L O G U E

Life is not what we make of it. It is also not we dream it to be. Life is what happens along the way you grow up with tons of lessons that are thrown at you. You learn. You fall. You crash. You rise. You win. They lose.

It's pretty much the same story with everybody. We all are way similar. You and me. No matter how we appear on the exterior, but internally we all are same. We have same fears, doubts, an urge to aim high, insecurities, failures and flaws because this is what makes us human. This is what makes us realize who we are.

A emotional machine. We are a havoc with the way our body feels. We are a mess with the way our heart tell us to listen to it. We are confused with a way our brain pushes us to see things logically. We stop only when our hearts and brains are on a war, against each other -- civil war. And, then finally, we breakdown with all the neurotransmitters acting haywire and we win when  we conquer those emotions.

After I graduated from high school, I enrolled myself in a local college and I take Biomedical Sciences as my major. I abandoned all thoughts of MD and Harvard and Stanford the minute I was discharged from the hospital. The past year, I spent away from my parents and my sister made me realize that I don't ever want to leave them again.

We bought a new house in the quiet area of Minnesota after all, our old house was burned to ashes. We were given the opportunity to start from the scratch again and this thought itself was very burdening to my parents. So, I took a part time job at the coffee shop as a waitress just to help with what I can. Mom rejoined the hospital again, and Dad got back into his business. And we had our life back on the road again.

I just gave the last final exam of first semester and to be honest, I didn't do that well so I'm sure I'm going to get an average GPA but that's okay too.

I sigh as I park my mini Cadillac in the driveway. Mom and Dad both are home because their cars are already there. I look at the digital clock and nearly yell in horror. 4:30. No wonder they are home.

I turn off the ignition and pick up my backpack from the backseat and my Physiology book.

When I reach the porch, the door knob is already being wrestled and the door flicks open. Mom heaves a deep breath when she sees me alive and in one piece.

"I'm fine, Mom. Quit worrying so much." I mutter as I enter. I smile at Dad who is standing by the living room on the right. "Jeez, Dad my shift got late. Sorry."

"How was the exam?" He asks me instead.

"It is over so Alhamdolillah for that." I shrug.

Dad laughs and turn backs and sits on the couch with his eyes glued to whatever he is watching on the TV.

Mom has other plans because she nudges me to the kitchen. I almost don't want to listen because I want nothing but my bed right now. Still I follow her.

She walks all the way around the counter and pauses by it. I sit on the stool.

"Yes, Mom?"

"It's been what now? Almost a year and you have not at all for once contacted him?" She launches right onto the topic, I dread her to go on. It is the third time she brought him up in the span of three months.

I look away because I have no answer to her.

"Maahirah?" She speaks again after a pause of few minutes. "Don't do this to yourself. You obviously care enough for him and he loves you enough to give you space until you figure things out. Why are you making this hard on yourself? After the coma, the first thing you asked about was Aayan and just because of his one letter, one note, you left him to sought on his own? If he isn't being logical why are you being so stubborn?"

"Mom, please, why do you keep bringing him up. Why now?" I grit my teeth.

"Because I gave you six months to get back in routine and to be frank, I thought after graduation and then enrollment you will fix things with him but you just let it all slip."

"It's easier this way, Mom and besides I don't see any point in this discussion because this will turn into a heated debate so can I rest, please? I had an exhausting day."

She presses her lips into a tight line and nods painfully at my suggestion.

On my way to my room, I collide into Vaneeza who is in her PJs. I grin at her.

"Lazy Friday, huh?"

She laughs. "The laziest! Are you gonna join us for the movie night?"

"I will, sweet pie. I need to rest, shower and est something."

"Of course." She pulls me in a hug and I kiss the top of her head. "See you downstairs." Then, she skips away.

Once, in the confinement of my room, I fall onto my bed and push myself against the headboard.

When I read Aayan's note the first time, I started hating him. I hated him for making the decision on his own. I hated him for leaving me on my own after all that we have been through. I hated him for making me go weak because I did cry a lot when I read that note. I asked my Dad to stop him from going but my Dad said he couldn't do much because he has no idea where Aayan lived because during my coma months, he avoided my parents too. 

For months I hated him, and then months later my hate turns into desperation. I was desperate to know his answers. I was desperate to know his reasons. I was desperate to hug him and just tell him about my day. I needed him and he didn't know that because I never told him how much I really care about him.

A week earlier, I realized maybe Aayan walked out -- because maybe he blamed me for the death of his brother and his friends. Somehow everybody dragged me into this Elton-Wilton mess even though I wasn't the savior. They saved themselves. I just showed them the way. So, this is what holds me back from calling him or reaching out to him because maybe he doesn't wants to do anything with me anymore.

A loud tone cuts into the silent room, I panic as I sit up straight only to realize that it is my phone. I sigh in my backpack and find my phone and flip it over to find Fadiya's name flash across the screen.

I answer. "Hello?"

"Hey, Maahirah. Where are you?" Her voice is drowned out by a horn and a breeze of air. I frown.

"Where are you? Are you driving?" I fire back.

"No, I'm not driving. Fakhir is. And, we're about ten minutes away from your house."

I sit up straight. "Why are you coming here?"

"Why are you asking me so annoying questions? Just get ready. We're coming to pick you up. I already talked to your parents."

"But----"Whatever I'm about to say next dies in my throat because she gracefully ends my call.

I bite my lip and before I can think anything else, I'm rushing in the washroom and drowning myself in warm shower. One person name keeps playing in my mind as I decide what to wear.

Aayan. Aayan. Aayan. Aayan.

White lace dress. Cropped denim jacket. Black skinny jeans. Boots. Black hijab with sequins and pearls. A sliver heart pendant and lipgloss on my lips. Some silver bangles on my right wrist.

I grab my phone off from the charger and rush downstairs. Fakhir and Fadiya are already seated on the couch with Mom offering them water and insisting them on having tea. I clear my throat to get their attention. All heads turn in my direction. Fadiya jumps up and rounds the room to get to me.

I hug her back tight enough to let her know how much I miss her.

She whispers, "You look gorgeous, Maahirah."

I smile back. "And you too." She's wearing a pink coloured maxi dress. Fakhir bobs his head at me.

"Thank you, Mr and Mrs.Furqaan. We'll return Maahirah by tomorrow safe and sound."

I embrace my parents in a hug. I see Mom's lips moving in a silent pray, probably she is wishing me all the best for the mess I create.

******************

Twenty minutes later we're entering in Jay Cooke State Park and I don't know for what reasons my heart leaps into my throat.

Jay Cooke is noted for its Rustic Style historical structures and it is famous from its swinging bridge. We hike towards the bridge. The iced river glints by the hues of orange and yellow setting sun. I pause by the railing. The water is frozen yet the view is so breathtakingly captivating that I close my eyes and feel the air rush past by me. The trees hustle all around me and everything in nature sings a melancholy of peace and harmony.

I spin around to ask Fadiya why did she bring me here but my mouth clamps itself shut when I see what is standing in front of me. Suddenly, the whole world's oxygen isn't enough to keep my lungs working because they forget how to exhale and inhale. My heart somersaults in my chest and a lump rushes in my throat. I back away and press myself to the railing.

Fadiya and Fakhir are nowhere to found and I'm cursing them for leaving me alone and at the same time, I'm screaming at Aayan to speak something because I have lost the ability to move my tongue.

He is wearing a straight, clean, dark-blue pair that fits like it was made for him and a casual white tee with a blazer. He looks sharp and decent and I find myself swallowing my saliva when he digs his finger into his pocket. He has the 5 o'clock shadow look on his face.

"Hey," He breaks the ice. His whole posture is guarded and composed – like, he can wait an eternity for me to answer.

"Hi," My voice comes out like a squeak.

"Before we launch into the details of what, and whys' and hows'; I wrote something that I want to sing for you." I'm more surprised at him for getting onto the point.

When I nod, he bends down and retrieves his guitar which I happen to notice just now. He positions the guitar around his neck and hits a melody. He looks right into my eyes, and begins.

'If only you had the key,

To my heart,

Maybe you'll be able to see,

The things I feel for you.

If only you knew that,

I drown everyday in the depth of your eyes,

Maybe you'll finally have a chat,

With my heart.

And, I've been quiet for such a long time,

Temporary seems like wrong notation with you,

'Coz I want an eternity with you.

When you're ready just say, 'Yes,'

'Coz I just wanna have you for Forever & Always.'

I have goosebumps all over my body because his voice is soothing and comforting in so many ways that I can listen to him sing over and over and I'll never get tired of it. I clap my quivering hand to my mouth with tears running down my cheeks. Instead of clutching onto him I ask him. "Why?"

"Why what?" He squints clearly confused at my reaction.

"Why now? Why are you back? You left me to deal with everything on my own. You left me to find my way out from the depths of sadness all alone. When I needed you the most, you walked away. You finally forgave me for the death of your brother?" I say, dejected.

Aayan's expression turns from hurt to anger. He grits his teeth and towers over me. I shove myself into the iron fence.

"Maahirah, I never blamed you for Haaziq's death. It was something bound to happen. Why would you even think this?"

"You left without any sort of explanations, Aayan." I cry out. "What was I supposed to think?"

He closes his eyes, almost as if seeing me so vulnerable is painful for him. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him.

"You hear my heart, Maahirah, it echoes for you. My mind screams for me to be near you. You complete me in ways no one has ever done. You make me love you over and over again." He gently hauls me back and wipes my tears with his warm finger. "I walked out because I thought I was doing you a favor. I had this idea that maybe you didn't want to see me after all the pain I have caused you."

"It was wrong for you to think this Aayan. I needed you always." I whisper.

"I know and I'm sorry," He presses a kiss on my forehead. "That's why I asked Fakhir to arrange this unexpected meeting because I couldn't bear a single second anymore without you, and by the way, you just ruined the whole prospect of what I was about to do after the song." He steps back from me. "They left. Fadiya and Fakhir in case you were wondering that."

I laugh. "Sorry, you can continue now."

He pauses and just stares at me so I smile back at him. He shakes his head and says, "That I will do."

And, then he goes on his one knee. My heart lurches in my throat. I open my mouth to ask him what he is doing. But, he cuts me off with a wave of his hand as he pulls out a small box from the pocket of his blazer.

"Maahirah, I know we had our ups and downs and fights and misunderstandings and disagreements more than any normal couple in the world but despite this all, it made us stronger. We saw each other on our worst days and I pray we get to spend the best days with each other.

"Because when I think of tomorrow, you're always next to me. When you smile at me, the world doesn't even matter. When you laugh, I get this urge to make sure you keep on laughing forever and always. When I look at you, I know that I've fallen so deep for you that no matter what I do I can't put myself to stop loving you.

"You complete me. With you here around everything seems like it's perfect and if it isn't....it will be somehow. With you next to me, I know I've the entire world's time because it moves too slowly with me savoring every moment of it.

"I cannot wait to see you as the first thing in the morning safely tucked in my arms because Maahirah I promise to keep you protected with every nightmare that scares you. I promise to make things right with you. I promise to love you. I promise to hold you tight when you need me and be a child when you don't.

"I love you and I will keep on loving you for forever and always. I want an eternity with you. I wanted you since the first day I saw you and I'll always will. So, this is my promise ring to you Maahirah. I promise to keep you happy, loved and I promise to never ever make tears fall from these beautiful eyes."

He ends his long speech and I just nod. He springs up and slips the ring on my finger. I'm embracing him and crying and when I'm little sober, I move back and utter the words he has been hearing for me to say.

"I loved you. I love you and I'll keep on loving you forever, Aayan. That's my promise to you too."

He gives me a lopsided grin that I missed so much. He leans in and whispers in my ear. "Even more than our children?"

I blush beetroot and I smack him away. I'm glad that the sun has completely set by now and we're almost surrounded by the darkness so he doesn't see my red cheeks. His booming laughter rings in the air and I immediately think that this is the most beautiful laugh in the world.

"Pack your bags. Our first stop is Maldives."

My eyes light up. "Oh, my God, that place is on my bucket list."

"I know," He puts a light kiss on my cheek. "Are you ready for the next phase of our lives?"

I clasp my hand in his and tilt towards his arms. "I'm ready to have Forever and Always with you!"

*********************

Oh, my God, it's done. I uploaded the epilogue and here is to the happy ending you all wanted. I have so much to say and i'll say that in the final author's note that i'll post after Q/A with some good news and some serious talk. I hope you will stick till the final author's note.

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