{Dedicated to @ShutUpAndCoffee because she is not only an amazing writer, but she is the most down-to-earth and polite girl I've ever met here....! You guys should check out her books....'Not That Interested' and 'Don't Remind Me'. Both of them are exotically written, and just beautiful. And while reading, you will fall in love with this awesome author! Love you! <3} 

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living ahlone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."– Louise Erdrich

Chapter Thirty Eight

I Needed You, Then. So, I Will Need You, Always.

(Maahirah)

When I open my eyes, I'm lying on the bed. All around me is the shade of white. White tiles. White ceilings. White walls. And, when I sit up and sweep a look at my body, I'm wearing a white hospital gown. An IV is stick on my hand but there is nothing going through it.

How did I end up here? What am I doing here?

I put my bare feet on the cold floor. My heart beating fast as the eerie silence around me scares me.

I walk slowly towards the door and push it open. And, suddenly, I'm hearing voices. Everyone is shouting, yelling and running around. Nurses behind the doctors with clipboards in their hands. Nurses pushing the patients on wheelchair around. Paramedics rushing in with patients on stretchers. The whole place resembles a mad house. I push my hair behind my ear, and trudge forward.

A doctor pushes past me. An attendant scowls at me, but doesn't say anything. I mean, isn't she supposed to ask me what am I doing out of the bed since I was a patient?

I turn around the corner and it's then I hear some whispers behind me.

"She doesn't have much time left. I've her son-in-law's consent on the form, and we are ready to do everything we can to save her."

I whirl around. A doctor and Destiny are standing face-to-face behind me and talking in hushed tones. Destiny's face is blotched red while the doctor's grim. Doctors are like that always. They act sympathetic, make gloomy expressions and might act to be saddened by the death of their patient, but once they are out of the hospital's vicinity, they forget their failed cases and go on with their lives.

We all move on because we have to, but, doctors' move on with their own choice.

Destiny spins on her heels and follows the doctor. I don't know whether she has seen me or not but I tread on behind her as quietly as I can.

They round the corner and enter the Oncology Department. The doctor goes in the operation theatre while Destiny walks up to Aayan, who is sitting on the waiting chair with his head in his hands.

"Aayan," She sits next to him. "The doctor will do everything he can."

He looks at her. His eyes bloodshot red. "What will I say to Maahirah? That I couldn't save her?"

"Aayan, we have no say in this. And, it is not your fault!"

"Say, me what?" I make myself visible.

He jumps up upon seeing me, but his eyes aren't on me. It's on that doctor and the nurse emerging out of the operation theatre.

"I'm sorry, Mr.Aayan Aslam. We tried everything we could do. The operation was fine but, Ms.Aseer's brain has stepped into unconsciousness, or coma."

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I stare at the wall across from me. My mind flashing the unpleasant memories of my nightmare kindish o dream. What was Mum doing in the oncology department? Does this dream have some meaning like my other past dreams? Will it be true? Or, was it just something my mind conjured up?

The door opens and Mum steps in.

I straighten up in the chair as she looks around her office, and seeing me perched upon the chair, a look of pure surprise crosses her face.

"What are you doing here?" She raises her cup of coffee in the air.

Instead of replying her, I look at her. She is gone frail. Dark circles under her eyes. Light wrinkles on her face. And, the glow, the radiant glow, is somehow missing from her. Is she okay?

I stand up. "Mum, are you fine?"

"Yes, Alhamdolillah, why wouldn't I be?" She smiles at me, sitting in the couch.

"It's just that," I walk slowly to her. "That you left me a note asking me to meet you in your office. You forgot?"

She scowls."Oh, I asked you? I must have. I'm sorry I'm not usually this forgetful, but a lot has been on my plate, you know?"

Here's a thing, I hate it when anyone says you know, because I don't. I don't know what is going on. I don't know what is on your plate. I most certainly don't know, why all of sudden you health has started deteriorating?

But, I nod, for her sake.

"So, why you wanted to see me?" I sit next to her.

Mum puts the cup down on the table, and looks at me.

"I'm never sure that I ever told you how your Dad and I met?"

I frown. "No. But..."

She presses her lips together and says. "Well, then I'll today. I met your Dad when we were in college. My family and I moved from the UK about a year ago, and since I was never a very genius kind of student, so I took a light subject as my major, that was Psychology. Your Dad was studying law. Even though we were completely different majors, but we met through mutual friends. At my best friend's sister's engagement. She invited me over, and the guy her sister was marrying, was your Dad's close cousin. And, it was there we encountered each other and found out that we were in the same college. Then, everything clicked. After we got our degrees, we got married and I was very happy. He was everything a girl can dream about. Tall, handsome, blue eyes, humorous and mostly he kept me all the time smiling. He gave me a reason to live for." There is a light smile playing in the corner of her lips.

"And, then a year, we had you. I remember when you were born. I remember when I got to hold you in my hand for the first time, you were so tiny fragile that though I was a mother, but I was scared whenever I got to hold you in my hands. And, time changed, you grew every month. I saw you transform. I remember how excited I got when you took your first step. I remember your Dad and me becoming mad with happiness when you were getting ready for your first day at school.

"And, then you grew to be my pride, your Dad's pride. And, one day, a week after your eighth birthday, I received a mail from Ruqayya Aslam. In that she told me that, my parents and my only sister were brutally murdered because they...." She takes a deep breath. Her eyes glint with tears. "Because they refused to tell the Wiltonians where I lived. So, they killed them."

I gasp. "Oh, Mum, that was horrible."

She swallows, hard and gives me a tight-lipped smile. "So, I knew if I stayed here, I'd put not only your life on risk, but your Dad's too. As far as I knew, at that time, they weren't aware of the fact that I had given birth. I had to think fast: I had two things to do. Firstly, I told your Dad about my home, Elton. I told him how Elton might go under the rule of the oppressors, Wilton. And, how my family was killed because they weren't able to locate me. Secondly, I asked him with a stone on my heart, that I needed a divorce. I needed the divorce to keep you and him safe. At first he was reluctant, but I begged him. And, eventually, he gave up. He knew my mind was set. And, I told him to fake my death so you won't be hurt upon me leaving you.

"Maahirah, it was one of the most rash decision life ever forced me to make. However, things changed, they (Wiltons) found out about you. And, then I send Aayan to make sure about your safety and he did a very good job. When, things got out of hand, I had to escort you here.

"But, now, my child, I want you to go back and graduate from high-school like you always wanted to. Like your Dad wanted his daughter to educate herself and be independent and I also want the same. The first step to become independent is education. That's your weapon. You get me?"

I'm tongue-tied. I learn my parents past story and I'm shocked will be understatement, I'm shocked on how much she bore alone. I'm shocked on her bravery. She is my hero. She is my idol.

I fling myself in her arms and hug her tight because at that moment I knew; Mum will always know what is right for me. And, maybe going back for now, will be a good break for me.

"You love him still, don't you? Dad, I mean."

She pulls back from the hug, and tears running down her cheeks. "I've never stopped loving him, child. Never."

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'Meet me tonight at half past ten by the staircase. Dress formally. I'll be waiting.

-Aayan'

This note I see tapered on the door when I'm about to enter the room. I frown at his note. He wants me to meet up with him.

It seems like I have been receiving notes only from the morning. First, Mom. And, now him.

I sigh, it is already half past nine, and I wanted nothing else but to go on the bed, and just sleep, but he wanted to see me, and I couldn't deny that I wanted to see him, too. It's been like two days since I saw him last time. So, the urge to see him is so powerful, that my sleep vanishes and I'm hyperactive and giddy.

I open the small closet and look at the limited collection of clothes Mum had. After rummaging through it, I pick out a white-black plaid long shirt, and navy blue dark jeans.

I take a quick shower and put the clothes on. Wrapping up a light green headscarf, I apply little make-up just for him. For him because he is my husband.

After I slip on suede sandals, I pocket my mobile phone, and set to meet him.

When I reach the main staircase, Aayan is there, posed by the banister. His one hand in his black jeans pocket and the other in his hair. He hasn't seen me yet so I take my time staring at him. He is wearing a grey T-shirt and a black leather jacket. When I clear my throat, he breaks his thoughts, and looks at me.

His eyes widen for fraction, before he quickly composes his expressions, and makes his posture erect.

"You came?" That's the first thing he asks me.

"Um, you asked me to come." I frown. "Through that note. The note that you left taped on the door to the room that I stay in. It had your signature on it so obviously it was from you." I try explaining him the whole note thingy but the confusion is still evident in his eyes, which makes me nervous. "You left that note otherwise you wouldn't be here. Ugh," I close my eyes. "Why am I making a fool out of myself?"

Do I look desperate? I shouldn't have had come. Turn around. My brain stubbornly justifies.

"No. No. No. It's not like that."

So, he speaks. Like finally

"Yeah, I did send that note. But I didn't expect for you to actually come. I thought you would ditch, or something."

"Oh," That stops my breath. Why would he brew such nonsense? Do I always leave him waiting?

"Uh, but now you're here. And, wow. You look gorgeous," He gestures at me with his hands. A sign that he is nervous.

But when he doesn't see me smiling as in flattered by his compliment. He sighs, running his hand through his hair. "Listen, I didn't mean to be rude, but I really thought you weren't gonna come. It is the first time, that I have asked you to meet, and I just had this vague insecurity (you can say so) that you wouldn't want to spend your time with me. I'm sorry."

Despite his blunt conclusion, my heart actually somersaulted at the mere thought that he faced dilemmas because he is new to this as much as I'm.

"It's okay, Aayan, thank you."

"For?"

"That compliment earlier."

He dimples. "No problem. Now can you turn around, I want to blindfold your eyes." He holds the black cloth in the air.

"What? Why?"

"I want it to be a surprise," When I still don't say anything, he says, "C'mon, please."

I throw my hands in the air, exasperated. "Okay, fine, only because you pleaded."

He chortles before putting the blindfold on my eyes, and immediately I'm blinded.

"Aayan, I can't see a thing."

"That's the point," I can picture him rolling his eyes.

"What if I fall?" I ignore his sarcasm.

"That, is not something you need to worry about,"

I feel his hand intertwining with mine, and he guides me forward.

"If I fall and die, you'll be answerable to my parents."

"Got it," He laughs.

As promised, he keeps his hand firmly on my arm and helps me up the staircase, step after step. I almost grow impatient after whole minute walking and silence. No matter how many times I ask him where we're going, all he would do is 'Mhmm' or 'Hmm, you'll see.'

He's lucky my mood is a bit elevated today or; else I would have had thrown a tantrum by now. Childish, I know, but you're not the one who is blindfolded.

Finally, he gives me a light push and suddenly, I feel the wind all around me. The quiet hum of the crickets, the hushed silence of the night makes me know that we are outside. And, then I realize his hand is gone and before I can yell in panic.

He's behind me, and he whispers in my ear.

"Ready?"

I shiver as his closeness sends chills down my spine.

"Yes,"

The blindfold is ripped off. My eyes take few seconds to adjust and then, I gasp.

"Aayan," My voice echoes in the air.

It's like if someone has pressed a button, because from where we stand up to the small round table, glowing heart shaped lights lit up. The path of these lights begins from on both side of us, like a runaway and end up behind the table in a heart shape. Like the table is in the centre of the hearts. On a table is a fluorescent heart-shaped chandelier.

"Wow, you did this?" I ask, after a minute silence.

"Yes, with a little bit of help. You like it? I know it's not that great..."

His words cut off as I lunge myself into his arms. My eyes glistening with tears at his sweet gestures.

"Like it? I love it. Thank you so much. It's beautiful."

He draws back, smiling "I figured we didn't have our first date so I thought why not today."

I blink back tears, nodding.

"Hey, you can save the tears for later," He wipes the tears from my cheeks. "I don't want to see you cry, just right now."

I nod, again. Taking a deep breath, I say. "Okay,"

He pulls back. "So, shall we?"

It turns out Aayan arranged the dinner, too. He was helped by Haazim and Haaziq in setting up the whole date. After a comfortable dinner, Aayan leans in his chair and just stares at me.

(I find out that Aayan doesn't talk while eating, but he does stare a lot which is romantic and all but it most certainly isn't good for me, because it makes me nervous and when I'm nervous while eating, I drib the food a lot!)

I put my fork down, finally fed up from his staring game. "Will you stop it?"

"Stop what?" He asks, amused.

"Staring at me,"

He laughs. "Nope,"

I hmph.

"So, did you enjoy the dinner?"

"Yes, thank you."

Then, he looks away. I take this moment to stand up and walk up to the railing. From here, I see the backyard of Elton Headquarters, and I'm reminded of the Paintball Game we played a while back. It was so much fun.

And, then I look up at the sky. Million of stars linger in the sky, twinkling every now and then. It's like the nature's own version of flickering light. And, there is the Queen of Coolness, Moon, in the centre and all the stars surround Her Highness. It is something about the inky, black sky. Whenever I look at it, sudden peace takes over me. It's like I know whenever I'm having a bad day, the yellow, blue, red, white twinkling stars will always be there, almost I can hear them saying to me, 'Be strong.' Or something like this,.....they will always encourage me. This much I'm sure of.

"Full moon, huh?" Aayan is by my side.

"Yep. Beautiful isn't it?"

"The sky or you?"

I close my eyes, enjoying this cheesy side of him. "Right now, I'm talking about the sky and stars. They are beautiful."

"I'm also talking about a star, Maahirah.It's you. You're my star. You're my guiding light. You showed me the path when I sure was lost. You made me realize what life is. You made me what I'm. You might not admit it, Maahirah, but you're. You're a gem, that I'm proud to be protecting and proud to call my wife."

"Aayan," I look at him.

"I'm not joking, love. I'll be lost without you. But, here's a sad part," His eyes finally snap to meet mine and he grabs my chin and then drops it, but keeps his eyes locked on mine. Even though, it's dark, but his chocolate, hazel eyes burn with strange, raw emotions.

"You're leaving, right?"

I bite my lip. "Yeah, tomorrow."

I think for a second he's going to say something, but then he just looks away. He grabs the railing so tightly that I see his knuckles turn white. Due to the chandelier I can see the outline of his jaws; taut and set.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He speaks, choking on his words.

"I was going to. But, I couldn't find you." I take a deep breath, and I raise my hand and put on his taunt knuckles. "Aayan, what's wrong?"

He gazes at me. His eyes glare at me with tears, almost as if mocking me back. "Is it selfish for me to ask you to stay? Stay; because I need you. Maahirah," He puts his finger under my chin, and with his other thumb, he caresses my cheeks. "I've grown use to seeing you around here. Even though we had our ups and downs but in the end of the day, we were there for each other. So, now, it's like you're a part of me."

He closes his eyes and puts his forehead on mine. "And, now you leave tomorrow, and I can't bear this. Although, I should, because we all knew your stay here was temporary....but..."

I cut him off by kissing him. Hearing him talk like this started the tear glands to secrete tears; as they roll down my cheeks. My heart pummels in my chest, and, at the same time, a shiver runs downs my spine when he kisses me back.

I pull back, but, his hands stay on my back.

He smiles at me. "Maahirah?"

"Yes,"

"I'll make a promise to you that I'll visit whenever I can. And," He wipes my tears. "I'll be always there for you whenever you need me."

I gnaw my cheeks. "I know, you have always been there whenever I needed you, and I know, you'll always be there when I need you."

He kisses me on the forehead. "I'll drop you tomorrow, InShaaAllah."

I sigh, swallowing hard. "Aayan, ask me to stay. Just ask."

He gives me a long pause. And, I listen to the wind, to the stars, to the moon. They seem to be enjoying the night just as much as we were. They were witness to whatever happened between us. And, they will remind me when I'll be away from him, that under the jet-black sky, we both had our moment, and maybe I will feel the stars and moon smiling at me in understanding..

"Maahirah."

"Hmm?" I look away from the sky, and focus on his face.

"Stay."

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Assalmu Alaiykum, How ya all peeps? :p

I'm late, I know. But forgive me, this uni life is proving to be a bit difficult, I had midterms going on and now the deadlines of presentations and assignments is piling on me. I've to complete them, too. But I didn't upload from such a long time that I couldn't resist uploading.

I've my last mid on Saturday. Pray for me. Pray for this uni life to be easy....

The chapter was long so I hope you guys like it. Lemme know in the comment section (please comment below, it really cheers up, especially at this time of my life, I'm going through some really hard time (beside uni!) so cheer me up by commenting as much as you can!)

VOTE.

And, thank you so much to all those new readers (As well as the old) your votes, comments alwys mean a lot to me! <3

Love you all!

Goodnight!

Wardah

ku\>s-