{Dedicated to @Sponge15 for being an amazing friend, for her fangirling, and most of all, for listening to my useless angry rants. <3 Thank you soooooo much!!!!!<3

Ugh, I'm missing you sooo freaking much! }

X____________________X

Chapter Thirteen

Dream Or Reality

(Maahirah Furqaan)

How weird is that one moment you're so happy - and you feel like you can get everything. You're soaring, flying and all the things seem to be in your reach....they are so touchable - and the next moment everything crashes down like a waterfall - crushing your dreams hopes and just....everything!

The feeling of ecasticity lost and is replaced by an irreplaceable hollow pain. Sometimes these pains are curable, however, most of them leave a scar which can never be erased, but stuck forever. Like it's permanent.

Today when I wake up in the morning, I just know today isn't going to be a looking forward kind of day. I've this dull ache in my heart and nausatic feeling in my stomach and weird, irrational thoughts are the first thing my brain thinks this morning. But, I push everything aside and concentrate on getting ready for school.

Last night, I had an amazing time. I laughed along with everyone. Ishaq and Imaan are still here. And, now I realize that my laughs and smile yesterday were maybe a façade to hide away the pain

I'm going through.

I sigh as I slip on my sandals. Whatever happens today I should be ready to face it.

That's the spirit!

This time I don't have the urge to argue with my inner conscience. I just let it be.

When I come downstairs, I find no surprises. Mom is as usual preparing our breakfast. Dad's face is hidden behind yesterday's newspaper. Vaneeza is sleepily eating her cornflakes.

"Assalmu Alaiykum!" I announce my presence as I put my bag on the floor.

"Walaikom As'slam!" Everyone answers while Mom turns around and add.

"Dear, could you get the mails from the mail box?" Then, she looks at my face."Maahirah, are you okay? You look a bit pale!"

I mentally curse my fair skin. At times like this I really wish for my skin to be dark or tan. I plaster a huge fake smile on my face. "I'm fine! I just didn't get enough sleep last night! I'll get the mails."

Mom simply smiles back.

I open the main door, and chilly cold air greets me, welcoming the beginning of December. I had no idea that it snowed last night so when I notice that a velvety, white sheet spread around the entire area, I'm surprised. I almost find it soothing and I feel a tranquility of calmness take over me.

I walk till the end of the driveway. My shoes sinking in the snow; and a gust of cloud escape my mouth every time I breathe. I bend down and run my hand all across the snow-filled-ground. How beautiful is nature! Every season has its own charms and benefits.

I open the mail box to find only two things; one daily newspaper, and the other a strange envelope. It is brownish ragged old colour, and the material feels raw and uneven in my hand. It has two words scrawled on it in a neat cursive handwriting:

'Usman Furqaan'

That's it! No address or anything!

I frown at it as I make my way back. I hand the newspaper to Mom and turning to Dad, I say.

"There's this weird thing for you!" I hand him the envelope.

He scowls at the envelope and Mom watches him curiously. I sit and start feeding my stomach with little cornflakes as possible.

Dad tears the envelope apart and a sheet of paper falls out. I couldn't see anything except Dad's expression. His face changes from frown to happiness and then to confused face. His whole face turns pale. Mom stops drinking her coffee and stares at Dad, too.

Dad blinks his eyes many times. And, for the first time I see fear flicker in Dad's eyes. He motions Mom to follow him out of the room, and they both get up.

"Mom! Dad!" I call out."I'm going school, okay?"

They both nod and leave the kitchen.

I kiss Neez on her cheeks and get out of the house.

************************

I smile when I spot Ellie at my locker along with Grace.

"Hey!" I say.

To my surprise Ellie pulls me in a hug - a furious vicious hug. I pat her back, gently.

"What's wrong?" I ask her once she pulls apart.

"Nothing!" She shrugs, nonchalantly and looks anywhere but me.

"Ellie, what's wrong? Grace?"

They both ignore my question.

"Oh, c'mon just tell me!" I urge.

Ellie swallows. "I can't tell you. You'll find out!"

"Find out? Is it bad?" Now, I feel fearful. Chills run down my spine. And I've this sudden need to puke my guts out.

She bites her lip."Sandra has spread a rumour about you and it's circulating in the entire this stupid school's building!"

Sandra! Oh Allah, it can never be good! "What rumour?"

Ellie and Grace exchange a look.

"Aw, tell me!" I know I'm asking this to destroy myself by pressing the matter further and further.

"ThatyouandAayanareathing!" She bursts.

"What?" I say.

"She has spread that you and Aayan are a thing!" Grace sighs.

"Oh!" Escapes my lips.

I put my hand on my locker to steady myself, and a low almost inaudible whimper leaves my throat. My heart beat escalating. I feel bile surging up and threatening to be free, but I swallow it back.

"Are you fine?" Ellie asks.

You ask me how i'm after blasting my ear with such abominable news, huh?! I want to scream this on her face but all I do is nod my head."I'll be back. Give me sometime!"

With my head lowered, I push past students in the hallway and this time I hear whispers following me as I make my way towards the restroom.

Pushing the doors I get in and sigh in relief when I find it empty. Getting in one of the stalls, I bend on my knees and puke everything out in the toilet. Few tears fall and I do not brush them away.

When I'm satisfied I lean against the wall, and breathe deeply. I calm my heart and flushing the toilet, I open the door and wash my hands.

I furiously brush away the lingering tears. I'm not weak. I'll fight through this day and show my face proudly to everyone. A stupid unreliable rumour cannot knock me down. I'm a fighter, and I come out as a survivor - who has achieved what he wanted. I'll not give this satisfaction to Sandra and her minions that they won this war. It shall proceed and I'll watch them fall.

With this new profound spirit, I exit the bathroom and just then the first period bell rings.

Bismallaah.

**************************

I always knew that life will teach me (us) a lesson at some points, and it will continue doing so, and somewhere life will make you suck. It will make you curse yourself. You'll get cranky and grumpy and everything, but, one thing is sure everyone seems wrong.

This is what I'm exactly feeling. Ellie tries to be my shelter and makes her best move to not to let me hear what people or students say about me - but I can't turn deaf. I do listen and it does hurt, but, I don't do nothing.

"Ms.Furqaan?" Mr.Brackson calls me out as I enter Biology class.

Oh, great! Tardy slip! I'm good two three minutes late. "Yes?" I walk up to his desk.

"Take this. Schedule for midterm exams!" Mr.Brackson hands me a paper.

"Um, thank you!" I cast my eyes over the schedule as I walk over to my seat. Aayan's late, too!

First exam; Biology on fourteenth December. Awesome! Two weeks from now. Something to concentrate on.

"Hey," Aayan sits next to me, panting.

I just nod. I can feel eyes behind my back, piercing my soul in a total unhealthy way.

Mr.Brackson is (again) busy in his paperwork. I open my Bio book and simply go through its content.

"How are you?" He asks.

My answer; silence.

"Um, I see, you're having a rough day!"

Silence.

"No problem at all. We all go through them once in a while! They are part of our lives, you know!"

I pretend that earplugs are in my ear.

"Hmm, you still won't answer me." He continues."Silent treatment! Or cold shoulder! Whatever they call!"

I pray that our teacher will hurry up with his work. I clench my fists and grit my teeth.

"Well, if you won't talk, I can do the talking while you can nod your head or something!" I know he's looking at me now.

God, he doesn't take 'no' for an answer! Prick! I feel rage seeping in my veins.

"Well, if you..."

I finally look up at him. This time I feel nauseating sensations in my stomach. I'm going to be sick!

He has a pair of Ray-Ban glasses supporting on the crook of his nose. A casual button-up shirt and I don't know what pants because I look away, and besides his legs are hidden under his desk.

"Listen up, Aslam!" I say."I had a worthless day today and you annoying me is increasing its worthlessness....."

"I see what this is about!" He cuts me off.

My head snaps in his direction, and I see him shaking his head.

"About what?"

"I honestly did not expect this from you!"

"Expect what?" I frown.

"This," He points his finger at me.

"Oh, will you quit saying things in riddles!" I say irked.

He sighs."How could you let those stupid rumours knock you down? I mean, you and I both know that they aren't true, and even then you're taking them to your heart. Like, seriously, why?"

I open my mouth to respond, and say things like; you don't know me and blah blah and blah, but all I do is gawking.

"Maahirah, this life isn't bed of roses. While we're living in this world and advancing towards our journey, on our way we'll face trials and difficulties. On our way, thorns will be there right in front of us and it's up to us to protect ourselves against them, against evil which won't let us reach our destiny!"

My eyes bulge out, and I bite my lower lip. My eyes meet his' and I gasp, inwardly when all I see in his chocolate-brownish orbs sincerity. And, then it hits me that his words are powerful and they are said from the inner depth of his heart.

I also realize this that he's a well known celebrity, and going through rumours isn't a big deal for him. He ignores them, and pretends that he has no idea what the hell is going on. Maybe I can apply strategy too. Will it hurt me?

No!!

"I hope you get what I mean. I'm not really good at counselling!" He says.

I shake my head; feeling dumb as ever. Of course, he's waiting for an answer and I all I do is stare at him. I drop my gaze on the table."Thank you! That was really a good piece of advice. Actually, it was much better than your previous one!" I add hinting at his huge favour that he asked in Brazil.

He laughs."Glad I could help!"

"Okay, now look at the board this is your syllabus for midterm exams...."Mr.Brackson begins and I find myself tuning in and grasping each and every word.

*************

When I'm stuffing my bag with tomorrow's homework - (with my locker wide open, and I'm standing on my one foot because my other leg is bended so my bag is resting on my knee )- I feel eyes on my back. I'm not daring to turn around, but curiosity gets the best of me and I find myself whirling my head around.

I see Fadiya staring intently at me. Her condition the same; hair poking out from under her hijab, her hijab all crumpled up, dark greyish black bags under her eyes. Her eyes soften upon meeting mine. Then, almost hesitantly she opens her mouth to say something - something that's killing her - and as soon as my hopes get high, she looks around, alarmed and scurries away.

Something is so wrong with her.

I close my eyes and breathe deeply. Zipping my bag, I sling it on my shoulder and slam my locker shut.

"Hey!"

I jump, turning around coming face to face with Darren Anderson." Oh Allah! Hi"

He chuckles."Scared you, huh?"

"No," I defend myself.

"Anyways," He smiles. "Me and some friends are hanging out today wanna join me?"

"Um, no!"

"Oh, why?"

"Because my friendship with you and guys is only till school and outside school it is a no-no; I can't hang out with you casually because of my religion. We've certain boundaries and..."

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I, momentarily , forgot!" He cuts me off, What is with people interjecting in my talks!! How ballistic!

"You know about Islam?"

"Of course, I do!" He bounces on his feet."Where I come from we're supposed to study each religion. It was compulsory!"

"Where are you from?" I question.

"You'll find out!"

I sigh. "Well, I've to go!"

"Yeah, me too! See ya!" He smiles.

I nod.

*****************

I'm running along a path. It's a long corridor with white marble tiles and it's a narrow path. My sneakers make the chase much difficult because they don't produce friction at all - causing me to slip.

I've no idea why I'm running or who's after me! But I'm just running.

All of sudden a door appears in front of me, and I burst in. Panting, and cupping my hands on my knees, I lean against the door.

First thing that hits me is bright light. I blink furiously to remove the blurriness from my eyes. I dispatch my hand away from my eyes, and a smell hits my nose. Disinfectant smell. The one smell which circulates around the hospitals. The dizzying and nauseating stench.

The door opens behind and I, immediately, jerk at side. A woman rushes past me. She's wearing a white gown and white nurse cap. Behind her, another lady.

She's wearing black leather jeans and a black leather jacket. A black hijab wrapped tightly around her head. She's holding an ice pack on her left cheek. It takes me few seconds to realize that she's my mother. Mum. My dead mother.

There is a row of beds (empty beds) on both sides of the room, and both the ladies are standing across from each other and they are hunched over a figure who's laying on the bed.

I walk up to them and stand next to my mother.

"..when will he be up, Janette?" Mum asks the lady, who now has a name. She's the nurse, I think.

Just then, the figure starts stirring. He opens his eyes, and looks around. He has dark brown hair. His almond coloured eyes look like they have lost life in them. A patch of dry blood crusts around his temple which runs down till his right cheek. Dark splotches of blood cover his shirt a various spots. His left arm is bandaged and his jeans is ripped at some points.

How gruesome!

"Assalmu Alaiykum!!" Mum smiles. "How do you feel?"

"Walaikom As'salaam! Great, but in pain!" He grins, a dimple forms on his left cheek.

Mum laughs."What happened? He attacked you, didn't he?"

"No! His guy did. The one who works with him! It was an ambush!"

Mum plops on the bed next to his'. Janette shakes her head.

I turn to Mum."Hey!"

She ignores me as she's struggling with her own thoughts.

I feel furious."Mum. Your daughter!" I beckon forward to touch her shoulder, to my horror my hand goes right through her shoulder - like it's transparent. Like I'm a ghost. Like I'm dead, and she's alive. But, she's dead. She died.

I stumble back and just then the guy speaks up,

"Aseer, I think danger is bestowed upon us now. And, we should take necessary steps for our safeguard."

Mum nods."Indeed Fakhir. Indeed!"

My eyes bulge out. Aayan's brother? Fakhir? Injured? What the hell is going on?

"Why don't you alert everyone, Aseer! Fakhir needs to rest. You can intogerrate him in the morning!" For the first time, Janette speaks up.

Mum nods. "I'm on it!" She gets up. "Take care, Fakhir. Good day!" She walks right through me.

"Wait. Come back!" I shout, but she doesn't listen to me. I turn to Fakhir. "Hey, what's going on?"

He turns a deaf ear. Like I'm not present at all. Snuggling in his bed. Uncomfortable bed. He turns on his right side. And, me, I'm hurling away. Whirling away. A force is pulling me back. Away. Far away.

***************

My eyes jolt open, and gasping I sit up straight. I'm shivering and trembling. My eyes snap to the wall clock: 05:50. I heave in a sigh.

It seemed all real to me. Whatever was in my dream, I felt it. It was all real. Another shiver crosses my body. Was it real? Or just a flicker of my imagination? Or was it a vision? Was it a reality? Or just a dream?

My mother is long gone. She's dead. Left this world for good. Then, what the heck is she doing in my mind!?

Aayan's brother, Fakhir. He's injured. Wounded badly. Does Aayan know it? How the hell was Fakhir hurt?

What is going on?

I take deep breathes. Calm down.

Either it was a reality or maybe it was a dream! Or maybe it could have been something from Mum's past. Yeah, that's a good possibility.

C'mon, let's pray Asr.

After I've prayed Asr, my dejected feelings are replaced by soothing, calm feelings. Praying to Allah Almighty erases our problems. Makes us feel that we're worthy of living in this world. Makes us believe that whatever problem we're facing, in the end we'll be able to tackle it down.

Folding the prayer mat, I remove my prayer hijab and place it neatly on my small rack. Sitting on my roller chair in front of my desk, I pick up my spiral notebook and a pen and I write on it at the top:

Pre-Midterm Schedule

My first exam is two weeks from now, and I need to draw a table and decide which subjects I want to study in ten days. Pre-exams preparation. Just to ease my mind and just to make sure I don't end up cramming in the end.

My tummy gives a loud jerk and I groan. I'm hungry. Urghh!

Tearing my schedule from the notebook, I tape it with the help of scotch tape on the wall. Beaming at my work, I quickly wrap a hijab on my head.

"Hey!" I poke my head into the living room and all the adults wave at me; engrossed in some television show. Vaneeza and Asad are most probably in the game room.

When I stumble into kitchen, silence greets me. Television's voice echoes down but nothing else. I shrug.

Walking over to the cabinet, I pull out a packet of Oreo and pour a glass of milk from the refrigerator. Planting myself on the chair, I begin feasting on my snack.

A face flashes across my vision - Mum's. I sigh. Do I miss her? Yes, I do. My faint blurry memories only make me see happy faces. Nothing else. I've no memory about my real mother. How our life used to be?! All I know, is that we were happy. We were happy just the way we're now.

I gulp down my milk. The house bell rings, I jump up and scramble towards the door. Pulling it open, I come face to face with Aayan Aslam.

Needles of panic strike all over my body. Is today Saturday? No, it isn't. Today is Wednesday.

"What are you doing here? Today isn't Saturday!"

"I know!" He says.

Something about his tone makes me look at him. His normal hair style is replaced by messy hair. Although it's untidy but it make him look cute.

Cute? Urgh!

His eyes are droopy and dull. My mind pulls a picture of his wounded brother. Was it real? I shake my head. No, it wasn't.

"Are you okay?" I find the words rolling out of my tongue before I can stop them.

He looks at me, clearly shocked. My hand tightens around the door knob.

"What? You're actually asking me how I'm!"

"I...um.." Unable to think of a smart comeback, I simply blush.

He laughs, but his laugh isn't his normal laugh."I'm fine! But, anyway, is this Ishaq's residence?"

"No, it's Usman's!"

"Oh," He blinks, and turns to walk away.

"Hey," I call out. "I was kidding!"

"Huh?" He spins around.

I roll my eyes."Jeez, I was teasing you because you laughed at me. Ishaq lives with us!"

He still gapes at me like I'm some kind of an alien from an outer space.

I roll my eyes, again."Ishaq someone's at the door for you!" I shout loudly and let Aayan enter.

I leave the two guys to reunite with each other.

*************

I couldn't concentrate on my Calculus homework so I close my book. Sighing I walk over to my window, and pull the shutter up and the backyard's view is clearly visible.

We've this old tree, and it's one of the branches end right beside my window. I've never climbed on it , and I pray that I'll never have to.

I spot two figures on the swings. Squinting my eyes, I decipher that figures to be of Aayan and Ishaq. Aayan is talking; his lips moving along with his hands. A grim expression over his face. Ishaq just nods his head, and racks his hand through his hair.

A loud banging of fists on the door diverts my attention away from them. I draw the shutter and quickly leap over to my desk."Come in!"

"It's locked, genius!" Imaan speaks across the door.

Rolling my eyes, I walk over to the door.

"Hey!" Imaan walks in when I answer her knock over my door.

"Hi!" I close the door.

"Do you mind if we talk for few minutes!?" She makes herself comfortable on my bed.

"Hmm," I pretend to think. "That can be arranged. Why don't you come after few minutes!?"

Imaan throws a pillow at me. I grab it, laughing.

"Kidding, dude!" I wink.

"Oh, God, Maahirah, dude! Really??"

"Uh-huh!" I close my books.

She rolls her eyes.

"So, why are you here?"

"Just to talk, you know!"

I nod. "Then, proceed!"

"How is school?"

"Excellent!"

She smiles."What are your plans after grade twelfth?"

I hitch in a sigh. This is the absolute question I hate. This is the question whose answer is already automatically fitted inside me. And, I cannot do anything to deny it. Though, I can deny but I can't. I don't want to picture my parents faces when I deny their choice.

"Medical field, huh?" She says.

I simply nod. See, automatically. And I know this isn't what I really want to do. But can I say no to my parents? Never!!!!

"Great!"

We then launch into really long gossips about celebrities. Favourite dish. Snobby old rich people. Street boys. Everything until my Mom calls us for dinner. We have had no idea that an hour has already passed. Funny, how time passes when you're not counting every second.

We walk into the kitchen and sit on my appointed chair. Mom has prepared chicken, rice and pea.

I dig in my food.

"Okay, since everyone is present here at the moment I'll like to hand some chores to everyone!" Mom draws our attention towards her; breaking the five minutes silence.

My eyes meet Ishaq who looks at Imaan who's glancing at Dad.

"Okay, Maahirah I want you to vacuum the upstair rooms."

"Huh?"

"Yes, they should be spotless!" Mom smiles."Imaan you can help me in the kitchen since you're an amazing cook. Do you mind?"

"Of course, not Aunty!" She replies.

"Usman and Ishaq you, guys will take care of the front yard and backyard. Remove the snow off the driveway. "

Both of them nod.

"Neez and Asad you both should clean the playroom!"

"Yes, Mama!" Neez smiles real wide.

Asad nod as he tears the flesh off the leg piece furiously with his teeth.

"Everybody should set to work on Saturday at six in the morning." Mom looks around the table and starts eating.

We just look at each other. The truth is Mom is way too anxious to meet Aayan. And, goodness knows why. She always pre-plans before any guests specific day arrives to meet us. But, she is taking Aayan's thing too far.

After dinner, I go back in my room. When I enter my cellphone is ringing. Puzzled, I plop on my bed and answer the call.

"Hello!"

"Maahirah?" A wrecking sob meets my ear. "Is that you?"

"Fadiya!?" Adrenaline rushes in my body.

"Oh, God," She weeps. "Can you please....come over?"

"Is everything okay?"

"No!" She literally screams then cries more."Come over at my place, please!"

"Okay!"

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Assalmu Alaiykum!:)

Thank you for all the votes and comments. InShaaAllah I'll reply them when I've full access to the Internet at my home!;)

I'm at my cousin's place, two hours away from home... and decided to upload for you guys! I tried making it long since I've no idea how will I update the next chapter or when will I update!:/ I could make it only this long!:(

OOOO BTW, RAMADAN MUBARAK TO EVERYONE YOU!!!:))))) MAY WE DO TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF GOOD DEEDS!!!:))))))) #soexcited

Anyways, vote and comment your views about this chapter.

Yours,

MidnightWhisperer

<3

PS: I've updated this using the Wattpad App so I'm sorry for weird spacing or anything. Have a great day!;)