- 4 -

It was awkward.

I could feel the tension on my skin, making me squirm in my seat as Noah Russo sat on the couch opposite of me. Dustin was talking away, his voice being the only sound in the room. Noah was avoiding making eye contact with me, I noticed as soon as he stepped through the door, and it was only pissing me off.

He looked good, all things considered.

There was something about him that didn't suit him. His dark hair was neatly styled atop his head. He wore a crisp white polo, accessorized by a gold chain around his neck, and nice jeans. The only thing that seemed to make sense for him was what appeared to be a deliberate five o'clock shadow.

"And then I was like, 'Fuck you, I don't want your free garlic bread! I want my God damn eggplant parm!' and then they kicked me out," Dustin said, making Noah force a laugh.

It was obvious he didn't want to be here. The way he sat stiffly with his hands in his lap said enough. He hardly contributed to whatever Dustin was saying, though neither was I. I just watched curiously.

Noah spoke softly, but the words came out sharp. "So should we take a picture and get it over with?" he asked, a sigh following after.

"I guess," I said with equal enthusiasm.

We both stood up, the air stale, and looked at Dustin expectantly. He took my phone from me and stood back, but didn't move to take the picture.

"Get closer," Dustin said and I glared at him. We stepped closer together and I dared to wrap an arm around Noah's shoulders.

I felt him tense under my touch, but blamed it on the discomfort of the situation. He reciprocated by placing an arm behind my back, his hand ghosting over my hip slightly. Noah smelled like petrichor and cherries. I put on the smile I used for every picture and waited while Dustin mimicked our grins behind my phone.

Noah backed away as soon as he could. We sat back down and I looked at the photo.

I was constantly sent old photos of Noah and me when we were kids by fans hopeful of a rekindling of our friendship. There were on-set photos as well as off, all with our prepubescent toothy grins and child-like features.

Now we both looked matured and lived. The fans were sure to eat this shit up, put the photos side by side and point out the true contrast of it all. I couldn't speak for myself, but Noah looked like life had taken its toll. We were no longer the kids of our generation.

I posted the photo with some saturated caption about being happy to meet with an old friend. Noah sat across from Dustin and I looking uncomfortable.

"I gotta ask, man," I said, catching him off guard. His eyes flitted to mine before looking away altogether. "I know you hate this shit. Why'd you agree to it?"

Noah cleared his throat and shrugged ever so slightly, still refusing to meet my eyes but looking at Dustin as he spoke. "I needed the cash."

Oh.

I wasn't sure why it felt so bitter to find out that my team had offered him money to come meet with me. I suppose a part of me had wanted him to want to do this, though I hadn't a clue why. It made sense, though, that he took whatever financial opportunity came up. This was an easy one.

"I wasn't aware they paid you," I said.

"Well, they haven't yet," Noah muttered. He looked around for a moment before letting out a sigh. "I'm gonna go, I think. You got your picture."

Dustin piped in. "It was really good to see you again, Noah. If you're ever in town, I'd love to grab a beer with you," he said. Noah's lips were tight in a curt smile as he stood from the couch, grabbing his phone.

I didn't say anything as Noah walked out. Dustin and I were left in silence once the front door shut. I knew he wanted to talk about it, but I just sat there, captured by my own thoughts.

Noah wasn't well. I wasn't blind.

He had been through some shit. How deep was he that he had to accept the ridiculous task of taking a staged photo with me for some cash?

"He was . . ." Dustin paused in thought, "polite."

I shrugged. The whole thing was weird and I assumed that was the last I'd be seeing of Noah for a while. He would probably drop off the face of the Earth again for a while.

My phone was blowing up with notifications of my fans freaking out about the photo. I scrolled through the comments, snorting at a few, while I went to my kitchen to get some beers. Dustin was talking about how sick it would be to get him on stage at one of my shows, but all I could think was that Noah would fucking hate that.

Joey texted me not long after saying it was a nice photo and that he would be in touch with Noah to see what else he would be willing to do. I rolled my eyes.

"I can't wait to go to London," Dustin said.

"The English girls are always crazy," I agreed.

Last time we were in Brisbane, Dustin had three girls at one time. I was knocked out from too much alcohol and coke, so I didn't participate. But it was a legendary night that we would cherish forever.

We had a few more days before we had to hit the road so the two of us had plans to do absolutely nothing until then. Dustin lived with his mom, but spent most of his time at my place. I did have the bachelor's pad of every man's dream, after all.

Sometimes I thought Dustin used me for my theater room.

-

Joey dropped the bomb on me two days before we had to get back on the road.

I'd been invited to Gwen Locklear's birthday party in San Jose. Never had I even spoken to Gwen before, but celebrities liked to have big names at their parties. She had good music, that was all I knew of her.

Now normally I would bring someone like Kelsi to a party like that (and Dustin, but that went without saying). I told myself I was doing Kelsi a favor by exposing her to all these famous persons to get her in with some circles and get her name in.

So the original plan was to sit in the corner with Dustin and make fun of everybody while drinking enough booze to replace all the water in our bodies. At these types of events, people usually approached us to talk and rave about collaborating some day. It amused me, more than anything, seeing Dustin get star struck by the faces that walked up to us, the two kids from Missouri who used to do puzzles for fun.

But Joey had other plans.

He called and, with a shit-eating grin I was sure, told me that Noah Russo agreed for a fair price to accompany us to Gwen's party.

The whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth. Noah, who was once a close friend of mine, was accepting money to hang out with me. The guy hadn't gone to award shows or parties for as long as I could remember.

Dustin and I groaned about how awkward it was going to be and that Noah wouldn't even want to be there. I knew something was bound to go wrong.

"Well, it's happening. The car will pick you guys up at six tomorrow and then you'll head over to get Russo," Joey said before he hung up.

My head was killing me so I suggested we just watch a movie and have a chill night. Dustin and I could do anything and we'd have a good time. Sometimes things just called for a movie night. Other times it called for a spontaneous flight to our home town to surprise our old friends. We just did what we did.

The next day, I'd forgotten all about Gwen's party and gotten an accidental head start on pregaming. Quite literally, the party slipped my mind completely and Dustin and I had gotten tipsy.

If it weren't for Joey texting and reminding me, I would probably have gone all day without a clue. But he did at four.

Dustin and I scrambled to get ready, tripping over ourselves and making a mess of my closet. Once we were both cleaned up and totally sobered up, we waited for the car to come around and took pictures for Instagram. I took another shot of tequila, just for good measure and straightened the collar of my shirt in the mirror.

I wondered about what Noah would be like in a party scene. My brain could hardly filter through my thoughts about it because of the alcohol. Instead, Dustin connected his phone to the car's bluetooth and blasted music all the way to Oakland.

We stopped on the side of a busy two-lane road in front of a decent sized bungalow. It was well-taken care of, but a lot smaller than what I'd expect from a celebrity, relevance aside.

He probably made enough from Road to Serendipity to buy a Los Angeles mansion, so why was he shacking it up in Oakland? The industry groomed me to be a judgmental asshole, so I sucked on my teeth and turned to Dustin. "Kinda small, isn't it?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'd live here."

We watched with lazy eyes as a nonchalant Noah walked down the walkway and towards the car. I sat back in my seat as he opened the front passenger's door. He poked his head in and looked back at Dustin and I.

"Hey," he said quietly and slid into the front seat.

"Hi, Noah," Dustin greeted. I didn't say a word, just looked out the window at Noah's house as we pulled onto the road. "Can't wait to get sloshed. I heard the lead singer from Severe is gonna be there."

"Jax?" Noah spoke up, surprising the both of us. I half expected him to be mute for the entire evening and just wallow in his own bad vibes. "He's a really nice guy."

I bit down on my bottom lip and pulled out my phone, deciding to tune out their conversation and fool around on Twitter. Fans were still reeling over the photo of Noah and I. I could only imagine what their reaction would be to seeing us out on the town together. These parties always had paparazzi swarming the entrances like mosquitos, so we'd definitely have photo evidence by the morning.

It was almost an hour drive to Gwen's venue.

Dustin and Noah chatted to themselves while I just sat there. We were dropped off at the front and I opened the door, stepping out graciously like they insisted I do. I could hear Harriet's voice in my head reminding me not to 'go spread eagle' as I did.

The flashing lights didn't bother me anymore. It was second nature to keep a comfortable resting face, so as not to be caught off guard. Noah stepped beside me as the three of us moved to walk towards the doors. I could feel how tense Noah was without him saying anything and his face said it all.

We didn't linger outside any longer than we needed to and were let in immediately. I followed the signs that brought us to a dimly lit club room, loud music bumping from large speakers all around the room.

There was an open bar and a large stage area with a DJ playing music. I glanced around for Gwen to at least say hello, but didn't see her immediately. I decided I'd find her at some point in the night.

"Let's find a spot," I yelled over the music, but my voice was muffled. Dustin knew what I was saying, though, and pointed to a small table against the wall with four empty chairs.

Noah followed us wordlessly to the table. I was relieved there wasn't a speaker in the vicinity of our table, so, though still loud, I could at least hear myself think. I sat down with Noah while Dustin said he'd get us some drinks from the bar.

I looked up at Noah. He was staring out into the sea of famous people and just people watching. I was right about something unnatural about the way he looked at my house the other day. Today he looked more relaxed. It wasn't right, still, but it was more Noah. He wore a tri-colored button down tee, unbuttoned over a plain white tee with his gold chains still present. It just suited him a bit more, though he seemed like the type of person that just couldn't look natural dressed up.

"So where have you been, Noah?" I asked. I was going to make the best of having his company and pry.

He glanced at me, a fleeting look where his eyes didn't quite meet mine. "I've been around," he replied vaguely, toying with his phone in his hands. The business had trained me not to shy away from eye contact, so I felt disappointed that he couldn't even look at me. "You're doing pretty well."

"Is that a question or a statement?" I quirked an eyebrow. He shrugged.

Dustin returned no sooner than ten minutes later after we sat there silently. He held three glasses of liquor in his hands, pushed together at his chest in a triangle form. He placed them on the table and scooted his chair more on my side so he could look out at the crowd instead of having his back to it.

After taking his seat, Dustin turned to Noah with a concerned look. "I didn't know what you like to drink so I just got you an old fashioned, I hope that's okay?" he asked, sliding one of the glasses over.

"Oh, uh--" Noah paused, his cheeks reddening, "I'm actually sober now. I appreciate it, though."

I watched him wordlessly as he smiled politely, sliding the glass back to Dustin slowly. I kept my judgments to myself and took a healthy sip of my own drink, watching the scene unfold as Dustin's face screwed up in horrified realization, his eyes wide.

"Fuuuck," he groaned, slapping himself. "I had no idea. More power to you, brah. I'll go get you a Coke, okay? One second."

Noah tried to object, but Dustin ran away without a moment of hesitation. I watched Noah slump in his seat, biting down on the corner of his bottom lip. He finally looked at me, right in my eyes, but it only lasted a split second. However, in that second, I felt like I'd seen a tunnel in those dark eyes, only for it to be one of those murals that looks like a tunnel that Wile E. Coyote would face plant into.

We sat there for a moment and waited, but Dustin was taking an unusually long time. My guess was that he'd ran to the bathroom.

I had just finished my drink and was reaching for Noah's neglected one when we were approached by Gio Leopaldi. He was some gossip Youtuber that sought out the worst dish on the best celebrities and made a killing off of their exposé. Internally, I groaned upon seeing his smug little face.

"Oh my God, Noah! It's so good to see you out here," Gio gushed dramatically, placing an unfriendly hand on Noah's arm. He stiffened. "I had no idea you were coming by. I would love to have you on my channel some day soon."

Noah deadpanned. "No."

I stifled my laugh behind my hand as Gio's face fell. He looked over his shoulder and when he was once again facing Noah, he was smiling broadly. "I'm sorry, Noah, that was rude of me," he said nasally, the valley accent making my ears bleed. "I just think everyone is dying to know how you're doing after rehab. Well, again."

My jaw dropped. Noah looked away from Gio entirely, his shoulders sagging a bit. I didn't intervene since it wasn't my place, but I wanted Gio to get the fuck out of his face.

"Yeah, I don't think that's anyone's business," Noah mumbled.

Gio just kept grinning on. "We could make it a double interview. Theo, you could come, too! I would just love to pick your brains about what the hell happened after Road to Serendipity that made the both of you so--"

"Fuck off, Gio," I surprised myself by cutting the piece of shit off and interjecting. "Noah doesn't want to be on your dumbass channel."

Noah's face shot to me in surprise as Gio once again grew serious, angry even. I blinked at him as if to say, Go ahead, say some stupid shit again. He just rolled his eyes and stalked away. I sat back in my seat and kept sipping on my drink as if nothing happened, but I could still feel the eyes on me.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know."