trying to get back on schedule
so here we are :-)
happy monday

- 22 -

For the next few weeks, Noah was glued to my side.

We didn't talk about it again. I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to see him cry again. My heart was aching with a delicate throb just knowing what Noah grew up with while I was off skipping into the sunset. But I had to be the very best distraction I could be for him.

He was in the sidelines, crowd, or backstage for every show. We slept together every night with his head in the crook of my elbow or his body pressed to my front. I reveled in the feeling of waking up to his warmth in the mornings; it was our own little secret in the safety of the bus. When we were put in a hotel in Pittsburg to get a break from the bus, I told Joey to book us one room. He didn't ask questions for once.

Oh, and we kissed a lot.

I don't know if it was because I had his full trust now or if he just didn't care about keeping our friendship boundaries anymore. But I fucking loved his mouth.

His wounds were healing nicely, the bruise around his eye faded to a dull yellow. The cuts on his lip and eyebrow were closed and scabbed up and when he went to the hospital, the x-rays showed no broken bones. It was a huge relief knowing it wasn't anything major.

Noah spoke with his sponsor for a long time. I played with his hair while they talked about what he should do about breaking his sobriety. I didn't tell him, but I secretly hoped he would stay with me. Even if going back home or maybe even going back to rehab was the answer, I was selfish. I'd never stop him from getting better though.

His sponsor, Jack, seemed to think it was good for him to stay on the tour since Noah was speaking so highly of me. I didn't know why. He ended up agreeing to meet up for lunch when he got back to Oakland and talking about it some more.

We were on our way to Missouri. I was so excited to see my sister, I could hardly wait. Lina was talking about everyone that wanted to see me, including our mom, but I didn't care about any of that. My sister was the most important person in my life. And Noah was excited to see her, too.

Speaking of Noah. I was currently on top of him.

I was holding myself up by my elbows and our mouths were hot together, his hand touching my chest. He released a breathy groan when I dropped my lower body down onto his, an unintentional step in the direction of maybe doing a little more than just kissing. Noah sucked on my bottom lip and he grabbed my ass in two handfuls, pulling me down again.

"Fuck," I muttered against his mouth when his jaw dropped open in pleasure. "You're so fucking hot."

He brought his hands to my chest and pushed me sideways, flipping with me so he was on top. I stared up at him in awe, just fascinated by the tight unrelenting hold he had on me without even trying. His curls fell over his eyes, just a bit, and his cheeks were flushed red.

Noah's hands were flat against my chest and he moved his hips a little, creating just enough friction to drive me crazy. I slid my own hands up and down his thighs while he kissed me again, basking in the taste of his tongue and the heat of his touch.

We were so rudely interrupted when my phone started ringing.

He pulled away breathlessly, but moved to my neck while I fumbled with answering the call while keeping my attention on his teeth grazing my skin. "Hello," I choked out.

"I wanted to run through how these next three weeks are gonna go," said Joey on the other end, but not even he could ruin how fucking hot I was feeling. I managed to reply halfheartedly, so he continued. "You've got two shows in the first week, three days apart. I cleared the VIP section at both of them like you requested for your family. After your shows I'll have a driver take you out to St. Charles and he'll be staying in a hotel nearby if you two need to go anywhere."

Noah was sucking on my neck and had a fistful of my hair, pulling it only slightly, and grinding his hips down onto mine. I bit down on my lip to suppress any sounds my throat wanted to release and expose me and Noah for being the freaks we were.

"Theodore? Some kind of acknowledgment would be appreciated so I know you're listening."

It was at that moment Noah decided to slide a hand under my shirt and pinch my nipple with zero warning, his mouth still attacking my throat. "Agh! Uh, yeah, I'm listening," I blurted, the words coming out jumbled.

"Absolutely no fucking around. I'm giving you a lot of freedom and I trust that Russo will keep you in check," Joey said sternly. "We're set to arrive in about an hour so you'll have your first show and then you'll go to your sister's after, right?"

"Yes," was all I could say.

Noah kissed up my neck until he found my mouth again, relaxing his body on top of mine and giving me a moment of reprieve. We made out and I held the phone away so Joey couldn't hear a single smack of our lips while he kept on with his lecturing. I almost forgot he was even on the phone until I heard a faint, "Hellooo?"

I only pulled away long enough to hang up the phone before I sat up, kissing Noah hard. "You think you're cute, distracting me like that?" I murmured against his mouth. He hummed, seemingly loving this. "You have no idea what you do to me, Noah Russo."

He bit down on my bottom lip and I grabbed a fistful of his hair, slowly pulling him centimeters away with my lip still trapped between his teeth. When he released it, I slammed our lips back together, evoking a moan from him. His hands ran up and down my chest and arms, eventually settling on the hem of my shirt to pull it off. I raised my arms, allowing him to strip me as he pleased.

Those brown eyes always looked at me like I was a prize he'd won. "Would you like me to suck you off?" he asked, swiping his tongue across his lips. I thought about the question. "Because I'd really like to suck you off."

Well, if that's the case.

"Go 'head, then."

Noah shimmied down my body until he was straddling my knees and I fell back against the pillows. He fumbled with the waistband of my shorts before pulling them down, boxers as well, revealing my already hard cock. He'd seen it before, so it was a mystery why he looked so surprised. I didn't think I was anything to call home about visually, but according to my past lovers, I knew how to use it. Something about the size of the boat and the motion of the ocean, if I remembered correctly.

He sucked on his bottom lip as he wrapped one hand around the base, eyes shifting from my cock to my face every so often. "Don't put on a show for me. Just suck my cock how you want," I mumbled, eyes half-lidded while I watched. I hoped that wouldn't offend him. It was meant to be reassuring. I just didn't want him to feel the need to perform like he did with Chris.

"That might be the hottest thing you've ever said," he said. And then engulfed my cock with his mouth.

I jerked from the sudden warm, wet territory. He repeated the action, going all the way down off rip and then back up a few times to lubricate my cock before he used his hand to stroke the bottom half. Meanwhile, his lips pursed around the head and he sucked hard, making me squirm underneath him. The feeling was so overwhelming. Generally, girls were so focused on the in-and-out. But Noah knew what the fuck he was doing.

Those brown eyes met mine and I threw my head back in bliss, truly feeling complete at that very moment.

"Fuck, keep going," I breathed.

His hand crept back up my stomach, tickling my skin by just the touch. Once again, he pinched my nipple and the sensation mixed with the hot pressurized suction on my cock sent a euphoric shock through my body. My back arched and I accidentally thrusted up into Noah's mouth. I thought he wouldn't like that, but instead he moaned.

After a moment, he pulled off and kissed up my stomach and replaced his fingers with his mouth, sucking on my tit torturously before moving to the other one. My hands were buried in his hair, sounds I'd never made before falling past my lips and into the thick air. He kissed me again, briefly, before going back to my cock.

"Ah, Noah, I'm gonna cum!" I blurted, the replaced warmth feeling almost too much for me. He met my hazy gaze and stuck his tongue out behind the head of my cock, lapping like it was a scoop of his favorite ice cream. "Fuck—"

As soon as he wrapped his lips back around the head, I came. My body shuddered with each spurt of hot cum I shot into Noah's mouth, to which he waited for like a good boy.

He swallowed it all and even went back for seconds, sucking up and down the sides as an alarmingly sexy way of cleanup. When I was properly soft and fucked out, Noah pulled my boxers and shorts back over my cock and crawled back up my body.

I used both hands to pull him down by his neck, connecting our mouths for a heated kiss. The fact that I could taste the remnants of myself on his tongue made the entire thing better somehow. I slid my hands down and grabbed his ass, squeezing the surprisingly plump flesh. His body reacted and he jutted his hips into mine and I could feel his own erect cock.

Noah gasped when I reached down and palmed him through his pants. "I know you're new to this, so you don't have to return the favor," he said while I squeezed his member.

"Yeah-fuckin'-right," I grumbled and flipped us over.

He wasn't wrong though. I hadn't ever sucked dick before, but I had just received the best lesson from the beautiful boy in front of me. So I felt like I was versed enough to give it a shot.

Anything for my Noah.

I admired the sight before me for a moment. He looked so angelic laying on my bed. His lips were swollen and red, eyes blown wide, and his cheeks a sweet bubblegum pink. I could stare at him all day. Noah licked his lips, the lips that just began and ended me, and I let out the breath I was holding. How could one man be so beautiful?

To spare the details, I made Noah feel almost as good as he made me feel. I don't know if I could say I was the expert he was, but I did my best. And I got to see a side of Noah I never thought I'd be lucky enough to witness.

Once we were finished, we were both laying there in just our shorts, lazily kissing in my bed while the bus rumbled on.

If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be making out with Noah Russo after we just gave each other brain on my tour bus in the middle of Missouri, I'd think you were crazy. But here we were. And I was the happiest I'd been in years. I started to think about the conversation I'd had with Kailey about how neither of us really want a relationship.

Was that still true?

In all honesty, it wasn't—at least on my part. I could see myself building a relationship with Noah. Hell, I was falling for him at a rapid pace, like a quarter thrown off the Empire State Building. That was supposed to scare me, but it didn't. It was the first thing that I was almost sure about since I boarded with Joey.

"You're sure Lina won't mind me staying with her?" Noah asked while he scratched my back soothingly. "I don't want to impose."

"Please, she's been more excited to see you than she is me," I rolled my eyes. "She's got a spare bedroom with a big enough bed for both of us, anyways." Noah didn't say anything for a minute. I was melting into the mattress with his nails tracing the pattern of my shoulder blades.

"I'll take the floor," Noah finally said.

I furrowed my eyebrows, turning my head to look at him. He stared at my back and avoided my eyes, not ceasing the movement with his hand. "What? No you won't. Just sleep with me," I said with a chuckle.

"It's fine. I don't mind," he said and bit the corner of his lip. "I don't want to give the wrong impression to Lina. Like, we're together or something."

Ouch.

I felt the hole in the pit of my stomach come back. "It's not a big deal. Dustin sleeps in the bed with me when he comes, too," I said, turning so I was on my side causing his hand to fall onto his lap.

"Well, Dustin's not gay," Noah muttered.

"It's not like she knows you're gay?"

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to share the bed with you, Theo," he snapped, a fire in his eyes that I really, really did not like. "Just . . . wake me up after soundcheck. I'm gonna get some sleep."

So that's how it was going to be? Denial of any chance of us being together? Chalk it up to the two of us just messing around? I scoffed to myself and rolled out of bed, Noah's touch still lingering on my back even though he turned around to face away. We'd be at the venue any minute now and I could use a cigarette.

Dustin called not long after I stepped out of the bus some twenty minutes later. I was feeling less angry than before after I hit my cigarette. "Hi, Dusty," I greeted.

"Hey, baby," he said and I snorted, immediately finding comfort in his voice. "I'm just calling to say I miss you."

"Miss you too," I said and hesitated. "You know how I told you about, uh, Noah?"

"Don't tell me you told him," Dustin said. I could picture him shaking his head.

"Worse," I admitted, thinking about everything that's happened since the party. Leaving out the part where Noah drunkenly tried to suck my dick and only mentioning that he kissed me, I told Dustin everything. I told him about our conversation and about Noah opening up to me about his past, and then about what happened just an hour and a half ago. "So, yeah."

Dustin was making unintelligible noises before he said anything remotely close to English. "So he doesn't like you as much as you like him, or what?" he asked. "I must say, I've never seen you this hung up on someone. It's really surprising it's a dude."

"Yeah, I know. It's not like I expected it."

"I can't believe you didn't listen to me. Look what happened," he scolded. I sighed in annoyance. "Maybe he's just not ready for anything serious. I mean, he's clearly been through some shit. He's got trust issues and unresolved trauma."

When did Dustin become a therapist? I thought about that for a beat, knowing there was truth behind his words. I shouldn't try to rush things with my poor broken Noah, but I didn't want to sit around and just fuck on the side, either. I was probably overthinking a brand new thing. It was a newfound habit of mine.

"You're right," I finally said.

"Usually am."

We talked a bit about how things were going with his family and what he'd missed on the tour. It felt strange not having him around, but I had good company—for the most part—with Noah. He let me go when it was time for soundcheck and by the time I was seated in my chair for hair and makeup, I was feeling antsy.

For one, I couldn't stop thinking about Noah. I didn't want us to be on bad terms for the following three weeks. This trip home meant too much to me to have bad blood with the guy who'd taken over my entire brain. It was my break. I wanted the both of us to have fun with my favorite person.

And two, as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I saw an extensive number done on the skin of my neck. Pink and red bruises and love-bites littered my flesh and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Noah was like an untamed animal.

Crunchy Mom's eyebrows raised. She started digging in her massive makeup trunk. "I'll cover that up for you—"

"No," I said firmly, ghosting my fingers over the remnants of his mouth, "leave it."