- 17 -

Tom Nubuck's house was massive.

Bigger than mine by a long shot. I'd been once before for some other party he'd thrown a year or two ago and it was incredible. He had the best food, the best music, and the hottest girls. This year, I was only coming for the food.

Tom was an NFL player who recently signed on with the Patriots after three years with the Bears, although I didn't follow football very closely. All I knew was he had enough money from contracts to throw a million parties like this and live comfortably. And comfortably he did live.

Noah and I stepped into the luxury foyer, tall ceilings and marble flooring greeting us upon entry. All sorts of big names loitered in the entryway as we paid our respects to the host himself. Tom apparently didn't immediately pinpoint Noah because he introduced himself and waited for the brunette to do the same. When Noah said his name, Tom's eyebrows raised in recognition.

"Nice to meet you, man," Tom said, clamping a heavy hand on Noah's shoulder.

When we got to the backyard, where the real party was, we slowed our gait to take it all in. Tom's pool was as big as Noah's house. There was a DJ booth with large duel speakers on either side of it set up at the far end of the pool deck, half-naked celebrities throwing themselves around him. This was a party everyone wanted to go to.

Noah blanched. "Wow."

We found a spot at an empty tall table and took a seat. I pulled off my shirt and hung it on the back of my chair. Noah didn't do the same, but relaxed as well.

"Looking good, Theo."

I turned my head. Kelsi approached carefully, her long blonde hair brushing the dips of her hips in a cherry red bikini that left little to the imagination. I'd give it to her; she looked incredible. "Says you," I said and gave her a half hearted embrace.

Noah eyed her, but didn't say anything. Kelsi slipped her sunglasses off and held out her hand to shake. "Noah," he mumbled, clearly not enjoying the endless introductions.

"Kelsi," she said with a smile. "Is Dustin here?"

I frowned, shaking my head. I fucking wish he was here. My best friend was the only one who made these kinds of events tolerable, let alone a night to remember. "He's back home. Family emergency," I said and Kelsi's lips turned downward in disappointment. "I could give you his number, if you want?"

Kelsi turned that frown upside fucking down in the blink of an eye. "I would love that," she said, slipping her phone out from the waistband of her bikini. "You don't mind, do you?" And I could tell she looked genuinely concerned.

Little did she know that Dustin was my brother from another mother. My soulmate, if you will. His happiness meant more to me than my own and I knew that receiving a text from the bodacious Kelsi Bravener would mean more than any childish hostility I held toward our history. I shook my head with a genuine smile and gave her his number, feeling a sense of victory playing Cupid for a night.

If only Cupid could help me out, too.

Kelsi left to join her friends by the bar and I relaxed back into my seat. "Who was she again?" Noah asked curiously.

"Uh, Kelsi. She's a B-list actress. Mostly small roles, but I think she'll get a break soon," I said and, for whatever reason, hesitated. "And she's also my ex."

Noah's eyes snapped to mine. "I didn't know you dated anyone," he said, eyebrows furrowing.

"It was short and not super public," I said, looking back over at Kelsi, who was smiling down at her phone already.

"And you're really okay with her talking to Dustin?" he asked, an accusing tone to his voice that made me cringe inside. He thought so little of me and it made me want to punch something.

I shrugged. "I fucked up and we ended on bad terms. It's the least I could do to make it up to her. Plus, Dustin's been into her since the dawn of time. Even before we started dating."

We sat on that for a few minutes before Noah said he was thirsty. I offered to get him a drink, but he brushed me off, asking what I'd like instead. So he went off to the bar to get two Cokes for us while I stayed put to wait.

I sat back in my chair and watched his retreating body. He wore these tight little white swimming trunks, tight on his ass and contrasting with his smooth, pale skin. The tight T-shirt he wore didn't hide the curve of his hips and the taut, lightly toned muscles of his back. He looked good tonight and I wanted to tell him that. I wanted to tell him everything.

My eyes began to wander when I realized I'd been staring far too long. A handful of models were in the pool, bouncing in the shallow end to keep their hair from getting wet. I caught the eye of one girl whose name I did not know and she smiled confidently, beckoning me into the pool with them.

I grinned back and politely shook my head, declining her offer. Noah would be back soon and I didn't want him to come back to an empty table. He was still at the bar waiting patiently.

A minute went by of me just busying myself on my phone and checking on Noah every now and again. I'd gotten distracted by Candy Crush and got way too into it and, when I looked back up at the bar, Noah was gone. I furrowed my eyebrows and scanned the pool area, but he was nowhere in my direct eye sight.

I caught the eye of the model again. If Noah could run off and leave me to my own devices, so be it. I would entertain myself, then.

The models cheered when I descended the stairs into the pool. "Hi, Theo," three of them said and then giggled in synchrony. It was a little bit like a sexy Shining moment, but I was into it.

"You are American singer, yes?" the one who invited me to join them said, water dripping down her exposed chest. I wasn't good at guessing accents, but I'd say maybe Swedish? "I love your song . . . er . . . Hot, hot, hot." She sang it while bouncing in the water, her breasts mimicking the action.

I laughed out loud, simultaneously amused and attracted to this hot Swedish model. My head turned again, though, just to make sure Noah wasn't back yet. He wasn't.

And he wouldn't be for a while. I don't know how long I lazed about in the water with the sexy models, sipping a beer that someone brought me at some point. The sky was dimming rapidly and the firework show would begin in about an hour. I wanted to be with Noah when it did. Tom always went crazy with the fireworks.

I was a bit worried. Noah couldn't have known that many of these people, at least not on a personal level. He was vulnerable and celebrities could be like sharks. Anything for views or likes, these people would do.

Somehow, someway, I ended up making out with the Swede. She was hot and horny and clinging to me in the water, tangling her wet hands in my hair. I wanted to be aroused. I wanted so badly to be into this. But I wasn't. I was thinking about Noah. Where he went, who he was with. If he was okay.

"Theo," a voice called from above me.

I unlatched the model from my body immediately and looked up. There he was.

The model scoffed and backed up to her friends while I leaned on my elbows on the edge of the pool. Noah looked different, somehow. "Where the hell did you go?" I asked, my eyes focused on his. He looked down at me but wouldn't meet my eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Could you come with me?" he asked.

Without a split second of hesitation, I got out of the pool. A party attendant handed me a towel and I began to wipe myself dry to the best of my ability. Noah lingered near and I started heading for our table, but he stopped me, gesturing towards the house. I did my best to dry off my legs and dripping trunks as I followed him.

We went in the way we came, but instead of heading back to the luxurious foyer, we took a detour. He lead me down a hallway and then up a double set of stairs to a massive upstairs. I tried to ask Noah where he was taking me, but he laughed and said he didn't know.

He was starting to worry me.

Finally, Noah pushed open a door on the right and slipped inside. I followed suit and shut the door behind me. "We probably shouldn't be here," I snorted, referring to the completely empty upstairs. It was eerily quiet in this room, only the sound of the loud music blaring outside faintly coming in through the walls, rattling the window.

It was a bedroom. There was a massive king bed in the middle and some matching furniture. All in all, I had no idea what we were doing here.

Noah sauntered in and collapsed on his back onto the bed, his chest rising and falling quickly. I loitered in the middle of the room. If my trunks weren't soaking wet, I'd have otherwise laid beside him. His behavior had me a tad confused, too.

"Are you okay?" I asked carefully.

Noah leaned up on his elbows, his eyelids a bit droopy as he looked at me. His eyes traveled down my bare chest and pelvis, then to my feet and back up. I couldn't ignore the way my heart began to pick up its pace under his scrutiny. He settled with his eyes boring into mine, though still hazy. Nothing could have prepared me for what he said next.

"Do you want me, Theo?"

In the subtlest of movements, his legs opened a hair. His thighs drew me in, but my feet stayed planted. By now, my stomach was fluttering and I was gaping at him in awe. "What?" I asked, unsure if I actually heard him ask that or if it was my imagination.

Noah licked his lips. "Do. You. Want. Me?"

I shifted on my feet, glancing behind me at the door. "I, uh . . ." I swallowed the increasingly bothersome lump in my throat, my lower half of my body reacting against my will. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't be coy," Noah said and sat up all the way. He stood up and took some slow steps towards me, his hands behind his back. "I see the way you've been looking at me. Like you wanna . . . fuck me."

What the fuck is happening?

He chuckled to himself, stopping in front of me. I couldn't look away from those glossy brown eyes, red around the edges, but still beautiful. "So I ask you again, Theo. Do you want me?" he inquired once more, now within arms reach.

"Yes," I breathed.

And then Noah fucking Russo dropped to his knees.

I could hardly for a second process what was happening before my trunks were at my ankles and his mouth was on my cock. Noah sunk his fingernails into the skin of my hips and took my cock down his throat like a champion. My hands, having flown in the air in surprise, sunk into his hair and pulled.

"Noah . . ." I groaned quietly. He looked up at me, tongue still flat against the underside of my cock, and I threw my head back, clenching my eyes shut tightly. "Oh, fuck. Come here."

I grabbed him by the chin and he rose to face level. My cock ached from the pleasure being cut short but I wanted to kiss him more than anything knowing he felt it, too. He felt it, too! I pressed my lips against his and tasted myself, but I didn't care. When his mouth opened for my tongue to slide in and I licked my way around, my body froze.

Did I taste . . . liquor?

My body sprung from him, nearly tripping over my trunks at my ankles. I caught myself on the wall before pulling my swimsuit up with a bit of a struggle.

"What the fuck?" Noah spat, standing there like I'd just punched him in the face.

"Have you been fucking drinking?" I yelled, not afraid of anyone hearing us. Noah's face only grew more irritated as he rolled his eyes and sat back on the edge of the bed. "What the fuck, Russo, answer me!"

He squeezed his eyes shut and tugged at his hair. I felt a pang of concern in the core of my chest, my heartbeat uncontrollably fast and my breathing unsteady. My mind could hardly keep up with everything that just happened in the last four minutes. The image of his mouth on my cock kept flashing behind my eyes and I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Fuck you," Noah snapped and stood up, trying to brush past me to leave. Absolutely not on my fucking watch. I grabbed him by the shoulder and trapped him against the wall. "Jesus Christ, get away from me."

"Tell me what's going on," I cried, my emotions getting the best of me. My voice was strained as I pressed against him. "Why were you drinking?"

Noah yelled out in frustration. "None of your fucking business, Theo. Stop acting like you give a shit," he said and I stopped pushing against him. He didn't move to run away, though. "I want to leave."

Fine. We'll leave. I stepped aside and let him throw the door open, storming down the hallway. I stood there for a moment, trying to calm my breathing. What the fuck? Was this some twisted, diabolical nightmare?

I gave Noah time to calm down out front while I retrieved our things from the table. Not bothering to say goodbye to anyone, I called our driver on the way back through the foyer and out to the front porch. Noah was sitting at the bottom of the steps, holding his body tightly. I stepped down and stood near him, but not close enough to bother him.

Our driver pulled up and I got in without a word. Noah followed.

I was upset.

I was angry, first and foremost. He didn't come to me when something went awry and instead turned to drinking. He was an addict, that much was true, but he was trying to be better. He was recovering. I wasn't someone he could turn to and I was angry about it.

But most of all, I was hurt.

Noah used against me the feelings I'd been trying to figure out for far too long. He used this attraction and lust and emotional turmoil that I'd been experiencing against me. And he couldn't even do it without drinking first.

I glanced over at Noah. He was staring out the window, his fingernails digging into his bare knees. Seeing him like this made me sick. I felt absolutely indifferent.

Back at the hotel, we narrowly avoided anyone who'd recognize us and rode the elevator in silence. Noah wouldn't even look at me, but I wasn't sure where he got the nerve. I did nothing to him. Absolutely fucking nothing. I refused to take advantage of him when he just broke his sobriety for God knows why. Did that make me the villain?

Noah unlocked his room and I pushed my way in, followed my his immediate protest. "What the fuck are you doing, Theo?" he scowled, hot on my heels as I ventured deeper into his room.

I whipped around on my heels and faced him. He must not have been expecting it because he was so close he almost ran into me. "Sit down," I snapped at him through grated teeth.

Like a child, he looked at me with those big brown eyes and shrunk in stature. He backed up and obeyed, taking a seat on his bed. I watched him for a second, before shaking my head at the boy's carelessness. I grabbed the miniature trash can from beside the TV and dropped in front of the mini bar. Both of our rooms had one and I refused to allow Noah to spiral any further.

"Stop, Theo," Noah pleaded. "I won't drink any of it. I'm not a child."

I ignored him, taking each mini bottle and can of beer and dumping it into the trash can. Noah sat silently behind me, probably as angry as I was, but didn't say another word. When I successfully cleared out the minibar of any alcohol, I stood up and started for the door.

He called my name. I stopped. When I looked at him, I instantly felt guilty for how angry I was. I knew he was a broken man, I just hadn't a clue of the extent. His eyes avoided mine as he focused on the floor. I resisted the urge to hold him tightly, instead knowing it was dangerous for me to fall for it again.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice nearly a whisper.

I just shook my head and exited his room, allowing the door to slam shut behind me. When I made it to my room, I dropped the trash can full of liquor on the table and sighed, leaning with my palms flat against the wood.

This wasn't how I wanted to end my night. I was supposed to be watching 4th of July fireworks with Noah right about now.

Maybe I was in over my head with him. I could hardly keep myself from going off the deep end, let alone a recovering addict with deeper issues than I was allowed to know about. And to be played like a fool, thinking he'd really want me with a clear mind? Fuck.

I texted Kailey to tell Chris not to give any substances to Noah. I didn't trust him. Then I took the extra step to call the hotel lobby and explain the situation to them. Briefly, of course, without revealing anything about Noah's identity. When I was finally confident that I had all my bases covered to at the very least get Noah through the fucking night without my eyes on him, I showered and got ready for bed.

Sleep did not come to me that night.