- 12 -

It wasn't very often that I was faced with a decision as close to life or death as I was at this very minute.

The sun burned down onto my skin as I stood stock still in the middle of the walkway. A sweat was broken down my back an hour ago, dampening my T-shirt disgustingly. My eyes darted around, searching for the nearest exit, but Noah's voice broke me out of it.

"C'mon, Theo."

I scowled. I wasn't angry; I was terrified.

We made it to Six Flags. The park was crowded and a temporary body guard was standing not too far away from us inconspicuously. Due to the vast number of attendees present, Joey insisted we have some protection in case of emergency. I wondered if being forced onto a roller coaster counted as one.

"I can't," I shook my head, my stomach dropping to my knees when I looked back up at the monster coaster called Goliath. "I'm gonna throw up."

Noah pouted. "Pretty please? Please, please, please, please, please—"

"Stop!" I exclaimed, gagging right after. "I can't."

His shoulders flagged and he looked around hopelessly. I didn't feel bad, not even a little. My fear was far bigger than any disappointment he could face. Not even my disturbing crush on the boy could change my mind about this.

"We can go on the dark ride," I suggested, finding a smooth indoor boat ride much more appealing than a flying death machine overlooking the entire state of Georgia. "I'll buy you some cotton candy."

Noah sighed and nodded. Our body guard, Jesse, trailed behind us quietly while we made our way to the dark ride. He waited in line with us and then, when we were ushered inside, he left us to go wait by the exit. At least he wasn't riding the rides with us. We hadn't been noticed yet, which was a fucking miracle in itself, so we were having a pretty good time. Other than the blistering heat and long lines.

We loaded onto a boat with a handful of other people and sat side by side. I held onto the handlebar and tried to smile at Noah. He smiled back.

It wasn't scary at all and we pointed and laughed at all of the weird animatronics inside. I took a selfie of us at the very second we got splashed from my side. Noah laughed so loudly when the side of my body got soaked and I caught the beautiful smile on camera.

"You think this is funny?" I asked as we walked out of the dimly lit building. Noah shook his head, but he was still laughing. "Come here."

"No, Theo, don't you dare," he warned, side stepping away from me. Body guard Jesse fell into step behind us.

I held my arms out, the grey T-shirt I was wearing clearly dark with water. "Don't what, Russo? All I want is a hug from my long lost best friend," I said, choking on a laugh at the end. I stepped towards him dauntingly and he squirmed away, which lead to me chasing him around the small area we were at.

The dark ride was luckily overlooked by many park-goers so we weren't swerving around huge crowds in this part of the park. It was just a family or two trying to find shade. Jesse was trying to keep a close eye on us and I think Noah was actively trying to stay within his range of sight. I almost grabbed him, but he jumped away at the last second and sipped into a little corner next to a maintenance door.

Once I had him cornered, I walked a little slower with a devious grin. "Where ya gonna go?" I asked and, between his giggles of desperation, he looked on either side of me for an escape. I held my arms out again and he backed up to the wall, covering his face.

"Fine, get it over with!" he exclaimed, sounding so much like the thirteen-year-old boy I once knew.

And if you thought I wasn't going to use this opportunity to touch him? You're wrong. I grabbed him by the forearms and pulled him away from the wall, into my chest. He made a noise of protest when my wet T-shirt touched his skin.

My heart was pounding. I couldn't even ignore it. I wrapped my arms around him and purposefully tried to rotate the wet side of my body towards him so he could feel it, too. "That's for laughing," I said and then let him go begrudgingly. I could have held him for hours, if he let me.

Noah looked down at his own T-shirt, not as dripping wet as mine, but damp as well now. "Now you have to ride Goliath with me," he said, his eyes narrowed. "So we're even."

"Uh, no," I deadpanned. "We're already even because you laughed and now you're wet. There's no more evenness to get."

"I don't care," he said, turning his nose up and walking right past me.

I watched him leave and took a deep breath. Don't do it. No amount of stubborn cuteness from Noah was enough to convince you to face this fear. But my feet had a mind of their own as I followed him back to the enormous death machine, to the ticket girl, and into the line. Now my heart was pounding for a different reason, one unrelated to the boy standing next to me.

He must have noticed that I was freaking out because I wasn't making snarky comments for once in my life. Noah touched my shoulder. "Hey, are you okay? I wasn't trying to be a dick . . . we can— we can go ride something else," he said. His voice was so sweet, much too caring for someone like me.

"No, it's fine. I can do this," I said, but I was feeling queasy. "I just might need to hold your hand."

I managed to shoot him a cheesy grin through the green tint on my face and he laughed, rolling his eyes. And for a second, before he turned away, I swear I saw his cheeks flush pink. A sinking feeling hit my gut and the five Slim Jims I ate for breakfast really threatened to make a grand return.

Then we were at the front of the line and I looked back at Jesse with fear in my eyes, hoping he'd take the hint and save me at the last possible second. He wasn't even paying attention. I think he was hitting on some mom. I turned back to the attendant with a scowl, hoping and praying this wasn't my last day on Earth. I kind of liked it here. Only kind of.

We were instructed to get in the cart. I couldn't move. Not until Noah grabbed my arm and tugged me in the right direction.

"I'm gonna be sick," I mumbled as we fastened our waist buckles. My hands shook as I tighten the strap of my seat belt as tight as it could go. Noah tried to make me feel better by tightening it, too. An attendant, a girl maybe in her late teens, came by to lower our handlebar, but stopped when she saw who we were. I spoke before she could say anything. "Hi, are you a fan?"

She gaped at me. "Uh, yeah?"

"I would love to meet you and take a picture but it will have to wait until after I get off of this death machine," I said, feeling a little bad for being blunt but I seriously couldn't put on a friendly face under these conditions. "I'll come find you after the ride, okay?"

She nodded, still starstruck and dazed, then secured our handlebar and triple checked our seatbelts. It was then that she saw Noah, who smiled at her. "Hi," he said. "He's scared of roller coasters, but don't tell anybody."

The girl pretended to zip her mouth and offered us one last dazzled look before moving onto the people behind us. Noah nudged my arm.

"It's not to late to get off," he said softly.

"I'm . . . fine. It's fine," I lied.

Before I knew it, we were being told to keep our hands and feet in the cart at all times, and then we started moving. I took deep breaths through my mouth and looked around frantically. It was just a rolling start. It was fine. Totally manageable.

Then we started approaching a giant upward slope. I glanced at Noah, who was already looking at me. I shook my head rapidly, knowing it was far too late to protest, but I'd still try. We slowly inclined, the clacking of the carts on the tracks matching the rate of my heartbeat.

Near the top, I made the mistake of looking down.

I immediately slapped my hand to my left and tried to find Noah's without looking. When I couldn't find it, an anxious squeak got stuck in my throat and my head shot back towards him. I grabbed his hand, all flirting aside, and grasped it for dear life.

Then I blacked out.

I clenched my eyes shut and pretended I was anywhere but on that despicable roller coaster. I didn't pay any attention to the fact that it felt like we were going a hundred miles per hour, or that we were completely sideways at one point. I just rode it out and tried to keep breathing while squeezing Noah's hand until I probably broke his fingers.

When we finally slid to a stop, I opened my eyes again. We were fine. It was over.

I was breathing loudly now, exhaling like I had held my breath the entire time (which I sort of did). Noah wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rubbed the back of my neck comfortingly.

"You did it, Theo," he said, his voice saccharin sweet. "We can get off now."

That was true. The handlebars already rose and everyone was standing up and leaving. Noah reached over and unfastened my seatbelt for me, his fingers grazing my arm. I went through the motions of standing up and clambering out of the cart, then starting down the walkway. I barely registered Noah telling the attendant from before that we'd be back to meet her in a few.

We walked back out to the front of the ride, where Jesse was back to paying full attention to us. Noah squeezed my shoulder.

"You alright?"

"That was fucking terrible," I said, my brain still feeling like it was sloshing around.

Noah laughed, shaking his head. "I take it that means you don't wanna ride it again," he said and I shot him the nastiest glare I could. "You did well, young grasshopper. But I think we owe that girl a picture. Come on."

—

Back at the hotel, I plopped down on my bed with a hefty sigh. I was thoroughly exhausted. And sunburnt like a bitch.

Noah got his own room. We were going to be in Georgia for a few days so we splurged on a hotel, just to get a break from all the bus time. Since we had no logical reason to share a room, we were granted separate rooms for separate activities.

I suggested we hit up a club while we're here, even volunteering not to drink for his sake. He agreed but insisted my sobriety wasn't necessary. We could have a good time on both of our terms. I still wouldn't drink, though. Above anything else, I wanted for this to be a safe environment for Noah and all of his ventures.

But until then, I was beat.

We spent the entire day at Six Flags. After we rode the rollercoaster, we stuck to kiddie rides and ones with less . . . height. I was red all over my arms and face with sunburn.

There was a knock at my door. I considered ignoring it, but in the event that it was Noah, I decided not to.

It was Joey, holding a bottle of aloe. I didn't like the sight of him, but the refreshing relief on my blistering skin was definitely tempting enough to let him in my room. He didn't say anything as he stepped in and set the bottle down on the dresser.

"Have fun today, kid?"

"Yeah, it was cool," I said and shrugged, immediately hissing in pain. "Ow."

Joey rolled his eyes and told me to take off my shirt. I did as I was told for once and allowed him to start putting the aloe on the reddened parts of my body, starting with my arms. He studied my face while I winced.

"Something's happening," he said plainly.

"Yeah, my ass is getting bigger. Thank you for noticing."

He slapped my arm and I cried out in pain, leaping away from him. "You're not funny," he snapped and held his hand out to beckon me back. "I'm being serious, Theodore. I don't know what kind of voodoo magic Russo has on you, but I actually kinda like you right now. You're more yourself."

I normally would retort back with some smart ass comment about having always been myself, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was right. For the first time in years, I did feel like myself. It was corny and overused to say so, but it felt more true than anything.

In the past ten years I'd morphed into this drug-depending, self-absorbed, narcissistic, watered down version of what people wanted me to be. I lost sight of what was important to me long ago and I'd never see it again, I was afraid. Things that mattered came far below all my many champagne problems.

"Do you . . . like him?"

I snapped out of whatever emotional spell I was under and glared at him. "Grow up," was all I could say because I couldn't even deny it. If it was obvious enough that even Joey could sense it, then I was fucked.

"Alright, alright," he said. "Now sit still so I can get your face—"

"I'll do it myself," I grumbled, snatching the bottle from him and walking into the bathroom. Joey just chuckled to himself from my bed.

I looked myself in the eye in the mirror. Theo Thorne stared back at me, but not Theo Bauer from Missouri. The aged twenty-something that hardly recognized himself anymore. I swallowed harshly, trying not to let my reunion with Noah dictate this entire coming existential crisis. It didn't need to be this deep.

When my face was lathered in translucent green goo, I stepped back out into the room. Joey was typing something on his phone, per usual.

"Rudy Evans invited you onto his late show," he said. I raised my eyebrows. Lights Out with Rudy was one of the biggest night talk shows of all time. He was known for playing hilarious games with his guests and being an overall charming guy. "Not just to perform. He wants you as his featured guest."

I was surprised. "Really?"

Joey nodded. "It would be a really good opportunity to promote the tour and Freaky Friday. Just think about it—"

"Yeah, I'll do it," I said without any hesitation.

I almost laughed at the way Joey looked like he was going to faint. He collected himself quickly, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Who are you?" he asked quietly. "Shit, Theo, a month ago I'd have to bribe you with a bottle of Patron to get you to wake up before three PM."

"Times are a'changing, Joseph," I smirked. I laid a few towels down on the bed and laid down very slowly, careful not to smear the aloe off within the first five minutes. "Me and Noah are going clubbing at some point this week, just so you know."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Isn't he sober?"

"Yup."

"And you're trying to ruin that for him or . . ?"

I scoffed. "I'm not trying to ruin anything. He's a big boy and can handle being around it."

Joey seemed to sit with that for a minute and I didn't like it. He wasn't necessarily judgmental, just very thoughtful. Every move I made was calculated ahead of time by Joey. It was his job as my manager. Even when I threw him curveballs and threw up on somebody's shoes or got in a screaming fight with some guy backstage, he would carefully deliberate a plan. So I was sure he was already thinking of damage control for my next inevitable screw-up.

"Just be careful with him, please, Theo."

"Will do. And don't worry, I already told Noah that I wasn't going to drink. I'll be sober as a judge."