HELL ON EARTH!

songs!
cosy in the rocket.................................. psapp
headlock.......... imogen heap

🖤🩶🤍❤️

a month later!

The graveyard, often filled with lifeless strangers, had one name carved in their memories, as much as it was carved into the dirty tombstone they were staring at. Lola held Jungkook's hand through the gloom of the day, wind blowing wisps of their hair across their faces. The sun had settled on the horizon, coloring the sky a dull orange, desaturated, and yet they couldn't leave.

"Still can't believe it." Jungkook whispered. "Like my brain ain't lettin' me process it."

Lola shook her head, squeezing his hand tighter. "I know. I never really thought about it until right now. Isn't that weird, Koo? Seeing his name on there?"

"I gotta get outta here." Jungkook pulled her through the countless graves, walking across the dead if it meant escape. His grip was tight, and equally gentle. The zipper of his puffer jacket jingled as they made their way into his car. He sighed. "Fuck."

"We shouldn't have come here. Bad idea."

He nodded in agreement, fingers rubbing the ends of his worried brows. Jungkook wasn't okay, neither was Lola. Only... they weren't so sure why it was hard to admit it. He brushed it off, starting the engine.

❤️

White. Not padded like the room her brother was locked up in. Lola peeled her coat off her shoulders and bunched it on the leather chair by the door, before approaching the others around the bed which Jungkook had already joined.

"Where were you two?" Jin raised a brow.

The two didn't answer, the same way they hadn't been for the past month. Everything was a secret now, and none of them knew exactly why. Jungkook couldn't tell his friends he'd been visiting Charlie's grave, neither could Lola. It'd be weird to say: "I visited the grave of the person I killed with a rock."

It was kept for themselves.

Gloomy weather, a stuffed hospital room, and anxiously crowded lecture halls were all they bounced back and forth between, with the exception of Kingsley Brown's office every now and then. They were still working on their plan to destroy Carlos, but it wasn't going to be as easy as Penelope. All of them were aware.

Ceiling LEDs flickered across their faces, faint sun casting through the cracked window and dancing curtains, it had been their life for the past month.

Just a movement. Something from Taehyung. A hitched breath, the blink of an eye, maybe a moving finger, they waited for him to do something. Anything.

Lola blamed herself for the coma. Hadn't it been for her brother, Taehyung wouldn't have been hit by that rock. Funny, she thought, the same thing could've applied for Charlie and yet... He was dead. Lola didn't want that to be Taehyung's fate. It couldn't be.

"Out." Jungkook shook his head, and with the click of his tongue, "Nothing?" he asked the others.

They shook their heads, hopeless.

Namjoon and Giselle were the ones occupying the room the most, other than Taehyung's sleeping body. Most of them were back in class, Jin had loads of responsibility. It was debilitating, really.

"It's all my fault." Lola finally spoke whatever it was on her mind for the past month. The past month. Hell on earth. A tear rolled down her cheek, which Jungkook quickly wiped away with his thumb. Often times she felt as thought she didn't even deserve to cry. "If my brother didn't-"

"Got nun to do witchu." Namjoon cut her off, slouched on the other leather chair across the room, right by the window. His grown-out buzz covered with the hood of his grey hoodie, a can of Redbull in his hand. He'd been drinking, smoking, and sleeping more than usual, lately. "How was you 'posed to know this was gon' happen?"

"Joon's right." Jimin nodded. Eyes puffy, clearly crying, he held onto Yoongi's arm and felt a shiver down his spine. "It isn't anyone's fault. We just- I just need him to wake up." He shook his head. A tear had rolled down his cheek, too. The moment his eyes were on Taehyung's pale, and seemingly lifeless body on the bed, connected to an IV tube, he felt something die within in.

"He will." Yoongi reassured them all, and yet, it'd be a lie if he said he was certain.

Giselle, tucking her blond hair behind her red ears, sniffled behind shaking hands. "What if he doesn't...?"

"Don't say that, Gigi." Destiny stood beside her, kissing her teeth. "He gon' wake up, y'all. It's Taehyung we talm 'bout! This motherfucker strong!"

"She's right!" Hoseok nodded in agreement, supporting her attempt at lifting the mood. "You guys remember that time he drove his car off the cliff and literally nothing happened to him?!"

It was the first wave of laughter that managed to break through the agonizingly thick layer of ice that'd captured them for the past month. The past month, hell on earth...

❤️
a month ago!

"He's not breathing!" Giselle's hands held either side of Taehyung's expressionless face, crying. "He's bleeding! Do something! Call an ambulance!"

Jungkook and Namjoon ran outside to find whoever had stoned Hoseok's brand-new dance studio, but to no avail. "Fuck an ambulance!" Jin, tangling his arms around Taehyung's heavy ones, signaled the others to help. "We don't have the time for that! C'mon! We're gonna take him to the hospital."

It was only after the sudden surgery, that they waited for hours until the doctor walked through the sliding doors, head tilted to the side, a pitying look on his face. "He's alive-" he gave them no time to breathe in relief, before telling them: "but we're not sure when he'll wake up."

They had frozen. The blood under Giselle's nails had dried, much like the smudged stains of red on her cheeks from wiping her shedding tears. "W-what do you mean? What's that mean?"

"You don't know when he'll wake up?" Jin had interfered, brushing his fingers through his brown locks, distressed, out of his mind. "He's in a coma?"

"Unfortunately. I'm very sorry." Was the last thing the doctor told them before leaving, followed by Taehyung's unresponsive body being rolled through on a hospital bed, ready to be transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. The others swarmed after him, calling his name only to be met with silence. It was deafening.

present day!

Just like the intense, painful beeping of the cardiac monitor echoing through the dismal room. Desaturated, disgusting, medical. It sent shivers down their bodies to be there everyday. Could only imagine how Taehyung must feel. If he can even feel.

Lola sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. An old habit had resurfaced. She'd been chewing on the inside of her cheeks again, peeling at the skin. It reminded her of Charlie's cracked skull. She'd been seeing it in her dreams, lately. Or better yet, nightmares. She wasn't sleeping a lot but when she did, Charlie joined her in bed. His blue face and sunken eyes, pores dripping with muddy lake water, fish swimming in his throat, blood oozing out of his throbbing brain. She'd sleep for an hour at most, before waking up in cold sweats.

On their way back to the dorms, all of them had planned to go to bed, take their mind off everything, except for her... And him.

"You ever just like, see him?" Jungkook was hesitant to ask, at first. Though the look she gave, it wasn't just some look. Validation bloomed in her eyes. "Like, when you's in bed or somethin'?"

Lola hummed, holding his head and embracing him against her chest. Her fingers ran through his black hair, gently, lovingly. "I do. See him looking at me... Sometimes he's- he stares for so long I-"

"You think he's real." He finished her sentence, and felt her nod on the crown of his head. "You don't know if we actually killed him or not."

She nodded again. "Yeah."

His car, cramped as usual, was humid. Windows fogged up, often for different reasons, because of the cold now. Snow had covered the roof as if a blanket, glistening white. He snaked his big arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "I fuckin' love you, Lo."

"I fuckin' love you too, Koo." She kissed his temple, clearing her throat. "I think we should go to therapy."

A piercing ringing in his ears, Jungkook let out a chuckle. "Therapy? That shit ain't real, baby."

"Remember that thing you said about boys and therapy?"

He hummed. "What 'bout it?"

"It's just silly to me. How would you know if you've never been?" She mumbled back, combing his silky hair. She gathered a wisp and twirled it around the tip of her cold finger. "Why don't you just give it a go? Maybe it'll help..."

"The fuck we gon' tell them? That we killed Charlie and now we mentally ill 'cause of it?"

It was a fair point she wasn't trying to argue against. Clicking her tongue, "Okay." Lola shrugged. "You're right."

"I'm always right." His pompous side had been hidden for the past month, it was hell on earth, and no one was their selves. They were all kind of just... other people. Different people. Maybe that was it. They'd changed.

She chuckled lightly and pulled in the wisp slightly to make him wince, before kissing his temple again. "You're always the most amazing."

"More."

It was a single word that meant many things between the two, but in this very moment, Lola knew exactly what he wanted. "You're the coolest." She giggled.

"More."

"The hottest."

He gave her a nod, humming surely. "More."

"Can't think of any more." She teased him, feeling him melt into her. Jungkook often purred as he fell asleep, and Lola felt it vibrate in her chest.

"You fuckin' can. You love me." He mumbled sloppily, eyes shut tightly, brows pulled together, and somehow his grip around her didn't loosen one but.

She mumbled back. "You're right, I love you."

"So, give me more."

Lola's eyes closed too, his warmth captivated her entirety. Her unabridged body swaddled in his scent, his energy, his soul, his everything. "You make me feel safe. No one's ever made me feel like this before. Loved, and safe. Needed. I always think of you, Koo. I see you when I look in the mirror, or when I'm talking to myself, I hear you. I think we're the same person."

"Think we are." Jungkook uttered, before drifting to a deep sleep. Much to her surprise, Lola felt her heavy lids close too. Only when she was with him, could she sleep without interruptions. Although lately, even he wasn't enough to help her. Lola was worried she'd see Charlie again, and wake up in thirty minutes.

Parked by the ocean, they slept to the sound of crickets, and snow falling on the roof of his car. It was a long night of whimpers, fractured images flashing in and out of their nightmares, almost like they were seeing the same thing at the same time.

🖤🩶🤍❤️