Was listening to that song while writing this

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sᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴄʀᴀᴡʟ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴇɪɴs

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Jungkook set his foot in the dorm and slid in before closing the door again, locking it just like it was and walking further inside.

He looked around and noticed that the curtains were closed, and it was horribly quiet. He went to Jimin's door and knocked, then entered after hearing a small 'yes?'

He opened the door and it was still dark. The blinds were drawn but slightly parted, only for the sunlight to create a stripe of light on Jimin's face, highlighting a part of his features, amongst which was his coffee brown eye.

Jungkook was gentle in his steps when he saw his lover laying on his side, back facing him. He knew he wasn't asleep, but he still wanted to be quiet.

" love? " he called gently and Jimin winced on the inside. He felt the bed dip, and a hand be placed on his shoulder. He closed his eyes as he swallowed his tears.

" it's me baby, I came. Don't you want to turn to me? " jungkook said softly and Jimin finally turned to him, and felt his heart up in his throat.

" hi " he simply said and continued staring at his beauty.

" hey " jungkook whispered back with a charming smile, he brought his hand up and brushed the smaller's hair to the side.

Jimin felt tears well and didn't bother to do anything this time. He let them fall until he felt Jungkook's thumb on his skin and noticed his worried expression.

" what happened my love? " he said again and Jimin found himself choking on pure air.

" it's nothing, I'm having a mild breakdown " he curtly replied and looked the other way.

" you did seem a little troubled in the chat, but it's okay you know, it's totally okay jimini, I understand " he said kindly and Jimin found himself having to double take that.

He didn't want to know exactly why I was acting that way? He didn't want to warn me? He didn't want to find a 'solution' ?

" is it really? " jimin asked with a monotonous voice, still not looking at him.

" it is, it's more than okay. You're not in the best phase of your life right now,  you're probably trying to figure things out at this moment, and I can't help but feel worried. But I understand anyway, I know it's hard to deal with a situation like yours and it can go over the top when you just want to beat anybody up " he said with a chuckle and Jimin's gaze softened.

" I get it, love. I would like it if you let anything you're keeping inside out to me, it'll get better if you show that frustration and anger. I'm fine with it" he added and Jimin was now gonna act on those words.

" who are you? " he said, tone sharp and gaze firm. He turned to get up and Jungkook proceeded to help him sit.

" that's still worrying you? I'm someone who loves you more than himself " he answered truthfully and Jimin rolled his eyes.

" sure you do, you keep changing and I can't recognize you anymore " jimin said with a heavy voice.

Jungkook tilted his head in confusion as he reached to grab the elder's hand.

" of course I do, I would go through so much for you " he said with another of his genuine smiles and Jimin pursed his lips.

" you can't say that after making me go to hell and back kookie... Or jungkook " he said, looking at him with pained eyes.

Jungkook's heart started beating faster, but he made it a point not to react yet.

" you remember me " he said with a smile, ignoring his burning throat.

He worked too hard to breakdown at this moment. This was the instant he was going to prove that he's worth being with jimin. He needed to show him that he matured in more than one way.

" I do " he said looking at his legs " I was also told you died " he questioned and Jungkook's smile fell as he sighed.

" I was told you died too " he announced and Jimin frowned.

" I called Yoongi after taking you to the hospital, I told him I couldn't stay or things would blow up, I mean you are The Park Jimin... He wanted to kill me... I told him to stay with you and he was more than ready. He called me one day later with a shaky voice, I met him and he had a tear streaked face, all crying and punching me for 'killing his Jimin' wow he got me good " jungkook said with a dry laugh.

" I flipped out, I didn't know what to do, I was lost and furious. I grabed him by the colar telling him not to lie to me. He said it was the truth and I totally bought it for some reason. I warned him and told him I would kill myself, a few times, but he remained silent. It was like an encouragement, and I sure did feel encouraged " jungkook continued with a sigh.

" we were in the back side of the hospital, and I wasted no time in pulling out my pocket knife, the one I always took with me, and did the do... I wanted to feel your pain right there and then, I didn't care anymore. He looked at me with horror on his face, then around himself to see if any body or any cameras were there. There were none, so he looked at me for a few seconds before I slid down the wall. He took a few steps towards me, so I shook my head at him, I wanted to just go already. He walked backwards little by little until he was out of sight " jungkook finished and Jimin couldn't stop biting his bottom lip in anxiety. He was looking at his lap and fidling with his hands.

" why would he tell you that? "jimin asked again.

" seems like I'm not the only one who wants to protect you from myself " he said, patting his hair again.

Jungkook sighed and slid even closer, fully aware of how jimin's shoulders moved further away. He looked down at their entertwined fingers.

" I'm sorry " he simply said, slowly beginning to feel his lips tremble and breath get uneven with nervousness.

" a sorry won't cut it " jimin replied right away. He was looking right into the taller's eyes yet his voice didn't falter.

" I know. I don't know what to do to make you forgive me. I've been horrible. The worst. And you deserved the best " jungkook admitted and Jimin chuckled drily.

" you were the best of the worst, that's for sure. It was as if someone looked for you and chose you especially for me, because I don't think anybody is that unlucky to fall upon someone like you. Must've been my fate or some bullshit. " jimin said with venom lacing his words. Words that hurt jungkook in the deepest way considering they came from his lover himself, and were against the persona that is a part of him.

" I'm becoming a better person sweetie, I won't be the best of the worst anymore, I might not become the man you're dreaming of, but we can say I'll become the worst of the best. I'll become who I was and I wasn't so horrible honestly. I'll treat you right and love you right. I'll be there for you, trust me just this one last time baby, you won't regret it " jungkook said with a hopeful smile, a tear had rolled onto his cheek and he's never felt so vulnerable, hanging onto someone's unsaid words like this.

Jimin kept staring at him, his eyes roaming on the younger's face and fingers itching to touch it. He reached with his fingertips and gently dragged them over his cheek, drying the fresh tear without breaking eye-contact.

The silence was intimate, the touches were delivered ever so delicately, and the gazes were shared with an intensity only the two could feel.

Jimin's soft hands didn't stop dragging gently on Jungkook's skin while so much was going through both of their minds.

Jungkook leaned into the touch and wished for the moment to stay forever. Just him being caressed by his lover with no negativity around them.

" did you know what I dreamed of once " jimin started with a voice as low as a whisper. Jungkook shook his head and smiled.

" tell me love "

" we were in a beautiful island and everything was perfect. You were with me and we loved each other so much. You had a job, you became rich independently from your parents and you said you overcame everything that happened " jimin said with a few sniffs.

Jungkook closed his eyes and leaned in until their foreheads touched then went up to peck Jimin's lightly. He pulled away and looked back down into his eyes.

" is that what you think is perfect for you? If so, we'll make it happen. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, love " jungkook assured and Jimin whimpered at the sincerity in his words. He curved his fingers around Jungkook's nape and pulled him in.

They kissed, softly, beautifully. Love overwhelmed their senses and Jimin found himself weeping. He choked on his sobbs yet couldn't bring himself to break the kiss.  

They parted away for air and dove in immediately again. Jungkook's hands were in the smaller's hair, carding his locks and massaging his scalp, while Jimin's were going from the taller's neck to torso to hair, basically anything he could reach.

It wasn't rough, but it wasn't very slow either. It was desperate, they both wanted it and both thrived for more.

" I love you Jimin, I love you so much baby " jungkook confessed at the end of their make out session and Jimin didn't even wipe his tears as he just cupped his jaw and bumped their foreheads.

" why didn't you just die? " he suddenly said and Jungkook frowned in pain.

" why didn't you just die? " jimin said more intensely as he punched the younger's shoulder and chest repeatedly.

" why?! Why did you have to be alive and remind me of everything you did to me? "

" it's okay love, let it out " he said with a shaky voice.

" if you died, we wouldn't have talked and I wouldn't have remembered! " jimin cried and Jungkook took it on himself.

" did you know that I thought you were my boyfriend, and that you protected me from whoever that stalker was? Did you know that even with all the proof screaming that you were the one hurting me, I still chose to believe that? That's how much I loved you kookie... But you had to be there and make me want to regain my memories, you had to make me want to break for you all over again. " jimin finished and fell in Jungkook's arms in defeat.

" I'm tired jungkook, I'm tired of crying and hurting, I'm tired of loving you, do you understand? " he added quietly.

" it's okay baby, I understand. I've been toxic to our love and I admit it. I don't deserve any of this, any piece of you heart, I shouldn't be here with you, I shouldn't be alive unless I guarantee that I won't hurt you no more. But I can't help it. I still want to be the one standing by your side as long as I have the power to. I still want to be the one to love you and cherish you and bring you happiness. I still want to be yours. " jungkook whispered with the softest voice he's ever used with his lover.

Jimin was crumbling little by little. All the beautiful words he's only dreamed of the younger saying we're being pronounced right at that moment, in his own room, on his own bed, to his own ears to hear. With the mood created around them, jimin wished he could simply let down his guards and just give in to his feelings for Jungkook. He wished he could do just that but he was afraid. He couldn't trust.

" I love you Jungkook " he confessed with a firm voice. " I love you but I want to get better. I want to live a stable life. I lost many things because of you. I lost my legs, my passion, my trust, my smile, my positivity, you ruined me baby. So you understand what I'm trying to say? " jimin talked as if explaining to a child that someone died.

" I'm terribly sorry my love, you don't know how much I regret everything now. I beg of you. Please give me one last chance. " jungkook sobbed.

" no jungkookie, no. I won't. Not again. It'll take much more than a few 'sorry's and empty promises. I want to see the change, I want to witness and feel it. I hope you understand where I'm coming from " jimin said, caressing the younger's cheek.

" I swear I'll live up to my promises and to your expectations okay? Please don't push me away please " jungkook cried and kissed Jimin's hand a few times.

" leave me, let me go. I deserve at least this " Jimin pleaded and Jungkook shook his head.

" look, let me stay by your side at least until you get your legs back, I'm begging you jimin, I don't think I can handle it if you leave me in this stage " jungkook said It's hopeful eyes.

" I can't do that, what if... What if I never do " jimin said with grief in his tone.

" you will baby. I know it. I will make it happen " jungkook said with a definite voice.

Jimin was lost. He would love to have jungkook close but he needs to heal. Mentally and physically. He wants to feel good again and with the other around, he doubts that'll be possible. He looked at him in the eyes and saw desperation and love swimming in the pool of tears at his lash line. He hated himself for giving his heart so genuinely. He hated the fact that he was weak for one single man. He hated that he would do anything for the sake of one single motherfucker.

" until I have my surgery. However that goes, you'll disappear from my life afterwards do you hear me? " he warned with hard eyes but a voice too shaky to match them.

Jungkook sighed in relief as he was happy he got more time with jimin. He was grateful and didn't fail to express it when he launched forward and hugged the life out of the smaller.

" I will not fail you this time, believe me. I will just need you to treat me as your boyfriend so that I can show you how much I mean it " jungkook whispered in his ear, and Jimin closed he eyes, took a deep breath and stared ahead without a word, just carding Jungkook's hair with his fingers and holding him as tightly.

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They met! This was a rather sad meeting don't you think...

Let's see how this will evolve!

-Aida-