ʏᴇᴀʜ ᴛʜɪs ғᴇᴇʟs ʀɪɢʜᴛ sᴏ sᴛᴀʏ ᴀ sᴇᴄ

━━━ • ✙ • ━━━

I haven't spoken to him in days. I haven't even checked on him for nearly a week. I had to focus on myself.

I finally decided to pick up my phone and enter his chat box with a smirk. I typed the words away and hit the send button, waiting for a reply.

The past few days were a bit hard to deal with, since I had to get myself back together after all and that wasn't easy. One week is not enough to make progress but I'm very surprised I did considerably. I had hyung to help me with his hypnosis skills and Jieun with her ideas, so I could make it happen eventually. I just need a little bit more work and there I am, ready for my baby.

Hello love :)

Expecting an answer, I stared at my screen for a few minutes, but what I did not expect was him remembering the old contact name I had for myself on his phone.

who's that contact under 'my soulmate'?

He asked and waited for a reply which I gave after a few seconds. He is making progress too I guess.

How can I know... It was in your phone...

I replied and sighed, he will eventually recall everything and I still don't know how I'll deal with that m, but at least since I'm going back to my old self, I might not be as devastated as I would've been. I was good at dealing with heartbreaks... At least the romantic related heartbreaks.

Why did you say was and not is? I don't remember not having it anymore.

He texted again and now I can feel a bit of agitation in his words. I like that he's fighting for himself, but I don't like that he's treating me like I'm a tool for that.

Love, why are you giving me an attitude?

I calmly answer and have him type right away.

I'm not giving you shit. Why can't I remember you especially?! Tell me your name!

Seriously what is wrong with my baby today, so feisty in the morning.

Calm down, love. I'll tell you my name when the time is right :)

You aren't telling me because I can't remember... What's the point anymore... Tell me stories about us. How did we meet?

What? I asked myself. I'm not telling him because he can't remember... What can that possibly mean. Does he think I only tell him things he already remembers. That might be it, but I chose to let that down until I'm more certain.

Well, we technically met at a fan meeting. Then, things evolved in a way and we ended up going to Malaysia together... It was troublesome because we didn't know each other well yet... But then we became pretty close and fell in love with each other.

While waiting for his text, I went and looked for Jimin's activities this week, only to find that he's been to a psychiatrist recently. I knit my eyebrows when an idea hit me but I quickly brushed it off, I told him I was real.

You abused of me... You hit me and raped me...I remember that.

I'm sorry baby... You were just too curious about what happened to me, and I was angry... I will never hurt you again

I apologized and ruffled my hair as I read the next message a few times.

Where are you kookie?

Somewhere.

Where? Please kookie tell diminie...

Aww that was adorable, I miss him.

You cute thing... You don't need know, me looking out for you is enough...

I assured then felt my small smile fade.

Just fucking tell me where you are if you even are somewhere!

This is not what I had expected from this morning chat, and I honestly don't like it anymore. Did he remember me? Is that why he's speaking this way? I'd rather calm him down and find out another way.

Watch your words baby :)

Or what? Are you gonna rape me??

It is sad how this conversation much resembles the ones I had with him as a stalker, or even in Malaysia. It's okay though, we'll make it through this, I know we will.

No baby I'll never hurt you... I just want you so bad

Last time you said that, I found myself getting whipped and begging for mercy. Fuck you for that. I hate you.

Again, just like the old chats, him telling me he hates me and pushing me away. Getting scared of me.

You don't mean those words love.

I do. I fucking do. I just realized how much of a sick fuck you are. I hope you rot in hell if you really are dead! I will never forgive you.

No. This is everything I wished never to hear from him. Please forgive me sweetheart. I love you.

No please love, please don't say that, I'm trying hard I really am, please forgive me and let me prove myself to you.

After I sent that text, it all went silent. I noticed Jimin quitting the chat and I went on the camera to check what's up, only to find it pointing up at the ceiling. Jimin had put his phone down apparently. Did I say anything wrong? What's going on, I'm so confused.

I decided I would go pay him a visit after this weird conversation. I went to my room, showered, dressed back up and went out to the kitchen.

" where are you headed? "hyung asked and I shrugged with a light frown.

" Jimin's. I have to make a few things clear... He didn't seem okay on the chat " I said and he nodded, picking a piece of fruit and popping it in my mouth.

" good luck kook-ah " he simply said and left the place towards the couch on the living room.

" thanks, I'll be back by dinner time " I lastly utter before making my way out the front door.

--

" Jeon Jungkook " I muttered with gritted teeth. My jaws tightening and fists clenching. I feel my tears coming up and shut my eyes, but the first thing I see is his beautiful eyes gazing through mine with so much intensity my guts fluttered.

Have I really been seeing an image of him all this time? I can't believe it.

Did he really die? Is it all over? I can't believe it.

I look back at the conversation and ready it all over again a few times. The things he said, the things on my screen, the texts are still there. I'm not hallucinating, someone has been talking to me and now I remember everything. He didn't die, who am I kidding. He probably played his twisted games with Yoongi as well.

Why does he have to be this way, why can he never change for god's sake.

I slam my phone on the spot in the bed next to me, letting it bounce further. I cry and cry. My sobbs filled the room as I touched my legs and pinched them over and over, hoping to feel something, at least the sting of a needle poke.

I hide my face with my palms before leaning back and taking a pillow to suffocate my cries in.

" why did you do this to me? Why... why... Why did you have to break my so hard " I cried to myself as my fists clutched tighter around the cotton of the pillow.

After a few moments, I regained my breath and opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling.

If he's not dead, he's probably coming to see me soon. To him, I behaved quiet abnormally earlier, so he'll want to see what's wrong if he doesn't already, then try to 'fix' me.

Always wanting to be on top of everything. Me, my life, my personality, my heart, my soul, my end.

Always wanting to be in control, and I'm sick and tired of it.

If I want to be sweet with taehyungie I can. If I want to go out with hyung, I can. If I want to have someone to trust me and love me, I can. If I want to die... I can.

I'm not letting anything control me no more.

I looked at my phone too far from me now, and sigh as I hear it buzz and light up. The text was from him again and it was a simple 'I'm coming to you sweetheart, I love you' and how tired I am of hearing that.

I rolled my eyes in disbelief, but it doesn't matter anymore. I'll confront him when he's here. It'll be a final talk. I hope.

I'm not sure I can keep myself from being overwhelmed when I see his handsome face and gorgeous smile. I can't promise my heart won't sink when I hear the much precious pet names roll down his tongue. I can't promise I won't breakdown when he tries to hold me. But I hope I can impose myself at least this one time.

I take a couple tissues from the nightstand and wipe my tears. I drink a bit of water and wait for around half an hour, just the time for my face to look okay again, and hear the main door click open.

---

They're meeting in the next chapter!

Who's excited for that?

I hope you liked this chapter and I'll try to update soon again!!

-Aida-