"You're actually such a woman." Clyde complains as he dumps his bag onto the floor, shortly following it as he collapses into a mess of fat and an XXL shirt.

"You're actually such a mess, but I rarely complain." Token replies from the bathroom, quickly followed by the noise of him rooting through a bag.

"I'm going to change." Tweek randomly speaks, crouching down to root through the shared bag he brought.

"Please don't do it in front of me. I don't feel like getting a boner in Token's room." Clyde whines to Tweek, who raises an eyebrow. He looks interested and strangely flattered, but doesn't say anything.

"If you get hard because of my boyfriend I'll dick-capitate you." I threaten emotionlessly, eyes trailing over Tweek as he begins to change in the room.

"That's not fair! I can't control my hormones!"

"If you pop a boner looking at someone else, isn't that classed as cheating on Bebe?" Token asks from the bathroom, and Clyde shrugs although the raven can't see him.

"Don't really care, anyway." Clyde says simply, eyes on Tweek as he changes. I shoot him a glare, but it isn't enough to get him to turn away.

Tweek continues to change, unbuttoning his shirt painfully slowly and letting it slide off his shoulders. There's a delicious smirk on his face and a teasing look in his eye; he's doing it on purpose.

"If what you said is true, Token." Tweek speaks this time, allowing the shirt to gathering at his elbows and slowly flutter to the ground. "That would make porn cheating."

"Porn definitely isn't cheating." I say, letting my eyes trail over Tweek's chest and flat stomach. He winks at me, before grabbing a shirt and slipping it on.

It happens to be mine, and he clearly knows that. He probably wants me to get hard, as he knows how attractive I find him in my own clothing. It's always a little tight on him, and shows the amazing dip in his waist and the shape of his hips.

God, I want to kiss him so fucking much it hurts.

"But you're getting off to someone other than your partner?" Token walks into the room now, wet wipe in hand as he scrubs off the makeup from a night at the club.

"But you're not attached to them like you're attached to your partner." Tweek says as he wiggles out of his jeans, then throws them in Clyde's face. "Stop staring, pervert."

"Well, that's aggressive." Clyde grumbles as he pulls the jeans from his face. "Craig was staring more than me anyway."

"But he's allowed." Tweek grins as he falls into my lap. I huff at the new weight, but easily slither my arms around his waist and rest my chin on his shoulder.

"Gay." Token teases, and I roll my eyes.

"Obviously. Now pick a film." Token sighs at being told what to do, but complies to my orders anyway.

"Fuck no! I want to gossip and be all girly and shit." Tweek says, crawling away from me to stop Token from picking something to watch. He flinches.

"Ow?" He complains, only to retaliate by shoving the stained wet wipe against Tweek's mouth.

Only, he opens it and licks Token's fingers in an attempt to get him away.

"Fucking nasty!" The teen screeches, pulling away as if Tweek holds many deadly diseases. "Craig's dick has been against that tongue!"

"My bathroom floor is probably cleaner than that tongue." Clyde comments, and Tweek raises an eyebrow.

"How can you possibly slut shame me when I've been in the same relationship since I was ten?" The blond asks, crossing his legs as he sits beside me.

"You legit just stripped for us?" Clyde motions to the pile of discarded clothes.

"For Craig. You just watched, 'cause you're a freaky mother fucker." Tweek grins, and I lean closer to sling my arm around his shoulders.

Because, I just like to touch him.

"I think Kenny has a crush on me." Token's words are out of the blue and random, and we're all looking at him as if he were insane. "Or at least, the drag persona of me."

"Are you fucking serious?" Clyde splutters, and Token nods.

"He's always down when I'm preforming, it's really sweet actually. I've no clue where the fuck he gets it from, but he's always offering me money and tips." Token then flushes from embarrassment. "And he's groped me about a million times."

"Aw," I mock, and Tweek snickers. "So, when are you going to tell him you're a straight male whose rich and doesn't actually need the tips?"

"You think I take the tips? I'm not heartless!" Token's words are laced with shock and his brown eyes are wide, but I scoff.

"Yes you are!" Clyde beats me to it. "You wouldn't buy me that game, so you are heartless!"

"And you wouldn't buy me gucci flip flops." Tweek adds, and Token gives him a disgusted look.

"Because they're fucking ugly!"

"So is Clyde, but I don't hear you complaining." I say simply.

Clyde squeaks at my words.

"If he fucking cries, you're mopping the floor." Token threatens as he reaches out and pats the brunette's back.

"You're not exactly Linda Evangelista either Craig." Clyde bites back instead of crying, strangely confident.

I would be proud, but I hate him.

"I'm a pimpled mess at the moment, thanks for the reminder."

"You're welcome!" He smiles at me.

"Man, I want to fuck 'Craig'." Another random outburst is this time said by Tweek. "His ass is great, if I'm being completely honest. And his mouth, I want to feel it."

"You're already fucking Craig?" Token raises an eyebrow, but is ignored.

"Fucking same." I agree with Tweek's random outburst. "I bet he's awkward and shit as kissing."

"Probably. I also bet his moans are really adorable."  Tweek adds, and I hum.

"I can imagine he'd moan accidentally and get really pissed off about it."

"He fucking would." Tweek now has a dreamy smile on his face, and I can imagine I have one that's painfully similar.

"What the hell are they on about?" Token asks Clyde, and I see him shrug from the corner of my eye, until...

He realises how fucking stupid he is.

"Kevin's friend, 'Craig'! Oh shit! You both want to fuck him?" Clyde exclaims loudly, and realisation quickly settles upon Token's features.

"The one from the group chat? Jesus." Token's palm slaps against his forehead as he sighs. "And they say straight people can't keep it in their pants."

"We should do it." Tweek tells me, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Seriously? Isn't that like... cheating?" I ask him, and he shakes his head.

"Not individually, like a threesome." At Tweek's suggestion, I find my eyes widening and heart racing. "Like seriously, let's invite him into our relationship."

"I'm fucking down. We should first drop subtle hints, see if he picks them up." I advise Tweek, who pouts.

"Fine. But if I get impatient, I'm kissing him, okay?" Tweek smiles innocently, and I laugh.

"Not if I lose my patient first."

"Speaking of kissing," Clyde starts, cheeks quickly flushing and eyes shinning. "I almost kissed Kevin."

I can't help it, but I'm laughing so hard it's hard to breathe.

Clyde gives me a look, which only worsens the laughter.

"Almost? You mean you chickened out?" Tweek sighs. "Fucking lame."

"Actually, my dad stumbled in drunk. I didn't chicken out, I was going for it." Clyde then begins to smile, a look of fondness in his brown orbs. As my laughter dies down, he speaks more. "Did you ever notice that Kevin's eyes start with dark-ish blue around the pupils an get lighter near the rim of the iris?"

"No." I say simply.

"That sounds fucking amazing." Tweek comments, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Would it be weird if I randomly got close to his face with no context?"

"Very." Token answers, and Clyde and I both nod.

"Doing it anyway."

"Have you talked since you almost kissed?" Token asks Clyde, edging closer like he's actually interested.

Maybe he is, I don't know.

"No."

"Fucking dumbass!" Tweek exclaims, "now he probably thinks you're weirded out!"

"Oh shit, really?" Clyde asks in disbelief.

"Yes, really." Token replies, and I watch in amusement as the three bicker back and forth about Clyde's stupidity.

"You need to go to him and lay one on him or something." Tweek says as if it's easy to kiss someone you like for the first time, green eyes twinkling.

"Or just tell him you still want to hang out." I add and watch as Tweek gives me a disapproving look.

"Saying 'hang out' is like friendzoning! You don't friend zone the guy you want to fuck!" Tweek protests, and Clyde's eyes practically bulge out of their sockets.

"Who said anything about wanting to fuck him?!"

"The look in your eyes when you talk about him." Token grins, nudging Clyde who scoffs.

"Am I really that readable?"

"Yes."

"Yeah."

"Mhm."

"Wow. Thanks guys." Clyde sighs, pulling his legs up to his chest. "How do I even talk to him again?"

"By walking up to him and moving your mouth." I tell him obviously, only to get a glare in return.

"I'm being serious, Craig!"

"As am I." Clyde's eyes narrow, and his gaze snaps from me to Tweek swiftly. He gives the blond a pleading look, brown orbs shinning.

"Will you help me?" He asks, voice annoyingly toned to a shrill whine. Tweet cringes, but sighs.

"Fine. I'll lead Kevin into a room or something and you can just... talk."

"Don't molest him." It's Token who places a hand on Clyde's shoulder, giving him a hard look. "And I'm being serious."

Clyde immediately flushes as tweak and I both burst into fits of laughter, Clyde beginning to shout at Token about how inappropriate that joke was.

"Fuck all of you! I'm going to be independent, and refriend Kevin myself." Clyde pouts and crosses his arms, edging away from us all.

"R.I.P."

I fail in dodging the pillow thrown my way, and it slaps me hard in the face. However, I'm able to get revenge and dedicate the rest of my night to tormenting Clyde.

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I've been writing in third person so often that it's kinda weird to write in first  now