𝘈𝘶𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘺

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After a few days of resting and getting to know Teravardi more, she was starting to get used to the castle. She had spoken to Ulysses about accommodation, caught up with Clovis, and learnt all the rooms and places of her new home. But, wherever she went, Lachlan's ghost followed, a reminder of the king who had once lived there. As well as they hid it, Audrey knew some part of Ulysses and Annalee couldn't help despising her for Lachlan's death, no matter the circumstances. She didn't blame them.

Monster, the walls whispered as the ghosts walked alongside her. Northerner, killer, intruder.

She was a killer, but she realised that she had lost some remorse for what she had done to survive. She was a princess, anyway; commoners were going to die for her, no matter what she did. If she could displace all blame on her heritage and duty, it made it easier to deal with.

She was sitting in the gardens watching the archers when Will came over. Over the past few days, they had spent a lot of time together exploring the gardens and castle, and she even sat at the commoner table with him during mealtimes, even if she received much scrutiny from both tables for it.

"Hi," Audrey said curtly, her eyes moving back to the archers as they shot arrows. Some were beginners and struggled to hit the target board, while others hit the bullseye every time. She pulled her knees to her chin and watched, remembering how she had once done the same. It had seemed pointless at the time, but she was grateful for it.

"May I sit?" Will's voice came back.

Audrey nodded and soon he was next to her, his eyes on the archers too.

"I remember when that used to be us." Will cracked a grin.

"Can you nock an arrow, milady?" Audrey mocked in a high-pitched voice.

"I never said that!" Will said, his hand flying up to cover his heart indignantly.

"Well, you said something like that," Audrey snorted, twisting so she was sitting opposite him. She could see him perfectly in the light of the sun. A freckle under one eye, a tiny cut on his lip, a faded scar on his forehead. His blue eyes, the silver in his pale hair. He was different, somehow. More mature, despite his playful comments, and he smiled less. But they were both still breathing despite it all.

I'm a killer, and if I were you, I wouldn't look at me that way, she thought.

"That was some time ago," Will mused.

"I remember." Even Audrey managed a wistful smile. "I wish you could have met my brother. I think you two would have got along."

"And you with my sister."

Audrey was silent, watching him. Her heart was fluttering, like a butterfly unable to catch. Flying out of reach and control.

"Will, I..." Her breath caught. She felt as if she was drowning, unable to form words as only bubbles escaped her lips. "I feel like I could give you a thousand thank-yous, and never feel like I've truly paid you back."

"Then don't try," Will advised. "You could with a kiss, though."

He was only teasing, and both of them knew it. But that didn't stop Audrey from reaching over and pressing her lips to his.

You're a princess of the North, and you don't love anyone but honour, her father's voice whispered in her head as she curled her fingers into his silver hair, feeling his lips respond once he regained his wits.

Unlike Landon's kiss, Will's felt safer. Secure. Landon had felt like dancing at the edge of a blade, always with distrust and an element of danger between them, while Will was familiar and warm. Not thrilling, but there was something comforting about surety.

Audrey pulled back and laughed at his wide eyes.

He's a commoner, a part of her noted disapprovingly, perhaps with some disgust.

But can't I have something good in my life, at least temporarily? Another part wondered.

"Consider it a way of me paying you back in the best way I can," Audrey said. She felt her face burning up and realised she was flushing pink. Her heart had flown to her throat, thudding there rapidly.

"Out of all the ways, that was definitely the best one, milady," Will agreed.

"Oh, shut up, archer," Audrey snapped. "I will still throw you into a pillory."

"I would be alright with it for another kiss!" Will called after her as she stood and began to stride away.

Audrey stopped herself. Turned slowly, unable to help herself.

"Will, I..." Go on, say it. "I am still trying to find myself. And until I could, I couldn't... I wouldn't be able to commit myself to anything."

Will's grin turned softer, turning into a genuine smile. "I'll always be waiting for you, milady."

Completely red in the face and hiding her smile behind her hands, she hurried away. Once she was back in her room, she couldn't help thinking of her young cousin and wanting to share her thoughts with the clever girl. She picked up a quill and piece of parchment before penning a letter to Junia.

Dear Junia,

I hear you are in the West now, which is a shame, as I have just arrived in the South only to hear of your absence. I was deeply grieved—I have missed your company, and I hope you are well. I am interested to know about the West; some say that one's neck gets an awful ache from constantly looking up in awe at all the tall, spectacular buildings of Valkitia. Please tell me about it in correspondence, should you deign to send one to your runaway cousin. I would love to hear of your experiences in a foreign state.

I must confess my suspicions to you; I may feel attraction for someone, although their station is hardly befitting of someone of my status. Consequently, I cannot imagine any future for us, so I assume it is just escape and solace I seek in him. In such case, I am using him, and I feel guilty for it.

What worth is love when love, and love alone, is the sole outcome, after all? My father once said that love does not always lead to happiness if there is no additional profit to it—mostly in wealth or power—and I can understand that. There is a chasm of status and wealth between us, and I don't want us to fall in. We could never be happy, and I would feel as if I were betraying the North if I ever was. No, I suppose there is no love I could claim for him, but I thought someone with a mind like yours would be able to unpiece it better than me. Sorry for dumping it on you.

I do not know the subject's true feelings, anyway. He seems to hide a lot of what he thinks behind a smile, and I wish he would trust me with what is really going on behind his facade. I find it hard to trust people anymore, even if I will it otherwise at times. I hope that, in time, I will thaw and learn to open my heart to affection once again.

I miss you, Juni. I'm sorry I never showed more affection for you—I feel the distance between us now, and it stretches me taut. I hope you are well.

Your cousin,

Audrey Everwood.

She knew it was not wise to state private affairs in letters that could easily be intercepted, but she had to get it out. She wanted Junia to have a share of what was happening to her.

A guard entered and passed her a letter.

"My lady," he muttered, before hurrying out, taking the letter to Junia with him after she had requested for it to be sent.

Audrey shut the door, glanced at the letter, and froze when she recognised the seal.

It was the seal of the North: a sword and a spear crossed over a snowflake.

Surely Ulysses would have people reading my letters? Audrey wondered, but the seal was unbroken. It was for her eyes only, probably delivered by spies.

All smiles disappeared and her heart began to thud for a completely different reason. Terror gripped at her, causing imaginary hands to reach out and clutch at her throat. Squeezing. The seal was unopened and the name on the front was fully visible, written in beautiful cursive: Audrey Everwood.

She lit a fire at her heath and held the letter over it.

Drop it, a voice in her head whispered. She suddenly understood why Ethelind had always kept a fire in her room.

Yet she couldn't make herself let go of the envelope. She, instead, turned to the knife on her table and used it to cut the seal.

She didn't even read the writing on the parchment at first. Her first thing to do was to look at the signature at the bottom.

And there it was.

Landon Shadowhart, king of the North.

She should have burnt it. But she could not help herself.

She felt her hands shaking as she slowly read the rest.

Dear Audrey,

Give them something they would never have had without you, or it will get dangerous.

I will see you soon.

Landon Shadowhart, king of the North.

She didn't realise she was still a material being until Clovis burst in, his eyes wide when he found her kneeling on the carpet, the letter crumpled in her hands.

"Audrey?" he asked, rushing forwards. His face scrunched up as he tried to interpret the blots of ink on the parchment. "What does it say?"

She had never been so glad that he could not read. "I... it's nothing, I..."

"Yes, I think we all collapse when we see letters," Clovis said sarcastically. Then, his tone kinder: "Please, Audrey. Trust me."

She exhaled. "Landon... I think he's coming for the South."

Clovis frowned. "What? He's sent most of his soldiers out to raid Southern ports and there have been no reports of troop movements. I'm sure..."

"No, you're not!" Her voice rose an octave. "He will come here, and he will kill Ulysses, and you need to get out of here, Clovis, please..."

His arms were soon around her shoulders and he pushed her toward the bed, making her sit down.

"He won't," Clovis told her once her breathing had calmed down slightly. "Even he is not powerful enough for that. The South has had a standing army for hundreds of years and they will be able to hold off his attack, even with the East at his side. We have the West with us now, remember? Lynne managed to convince the senators after Junia's betrothal, and we have more strength now."

"I don't know if..."

"Stop it," Clovis snapped, taking her shoulders so that she had to face him. "You can't give up this easily. It has never been your way of doing things, and it never will be. I don't care what that boy thinks he can do. He will not break through your heart, even if he can touch your mind. That is your greatest strength, and that is why I love you. You are my best friend, and I can tell you that you are already everything you want to be. You cannot stop being afraid, but you can take that fear and rationalise it." He wiped a tear away from her cheek, then sat next to her. "If that bastard wants to come here, then fine. We will fight back."

"I'm so scared," Audrey said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I'm not who you think I am."

"So what? You're family to me, and no one can ever break that bond. I'm here for you. I managed to find my way back to you in the end, and I always will."

She hugged him and felt his arms around her in return. She didn't know long they stayed like that, savouring each other's company, before he pulled away. She felt a small glow of warmth start in her heart, running slowly through her bloodstream and lighting up her body until she was sure light would burst from her in blinding rays.

"Anyway, tell me, how are you and the archer boy going?" Clovis teased.

Audrey flushed slightly. "Will? He... he is really annoying..."

"But you like him?"

"I... don't know."

Clovis rolled his eyes. "Of course you do. You're in loveee."

He poked her teasingly in the side.

"You're so immature," she groaned. "He's an archer."

"So?" Clovis asked. "Be selfish! Gods know how much you've been through—even if you don't feel ready to commit, you should have some fun. I'm sure he'd be more than willing."

I suppose it's always easy to be selfish. "Ew, shut up. What about your love life?"

His cheeks turned a little pink. "Uh... I don't know."

"Gods, you're hiding something! Tell me!" Audrey exclaimed.

He grinned. "Only if you tell me first."

She sighed but felt herself smiling. No matter what happened, Clovis never failed to make her smile. "We... kissed?"

Clovis began to laugh. "I knew it!"

"Shut it, it meant nothing," Audrey said. "Now you have to say."

Clovis shrugged. "Don't make anything of it, but there's this stableboy named Alekzander..."

He smiled impishly and she made a face at him.

"You can't just start and not finish," Audrey pointed out.

"Well, Lex and I are very close?" Clovis offered.

"You even have a nickname for him!"

"You call your archer Will," Clovis complained.

"But that's what everyone calls him," Audrey replied. "Tell me more about Lex."

"He has a Western accent."

"I'm already swooning."

He swatted her, and she moved away.

"I want tea for this story," she declared, calling a servant to bring tea up to them. After they had two cups of tea before them, they sat cross-legged in front of the fire, talking late into the night like they had done as children.

When he left, she felt a small hollow where his presence had been.

But she also felt a broken piece pick itself up and try to put itself back together.

It was a start.

Audrey and Clovis are so great ahh

Love you all,

Shelly M x

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