━━━━━━━━━

The refrigerator light flickered on and off due to the prolongation of being kept open, a slight chill carried its way through her clothes as she stood in front of it and slowly eyed each item once and then twice. Indecision lined the features of her face as she gave a sigh, tilted her head as she debated whether she really needed it, and then finally plucked a can of coconut flavored Redbull off the shelf.

She closed the fridge and turned around with her item in hand, the condensation of the drink immediately freezing her fingers as they curled around the circumference of the can.

Behind her, she felt another's presence.

Araceli didn't even have to turn around to know who it was and in the moment, she hated herself for it. She frowned as she heard drinks clink and rattle as he grabbed whatever it was that he was looking for, a tea most likely.

"I'm not stalking you." He said.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't bother looking at him as she circled the store once more in search of a different item, the need for something sweet suddenly stronger,"This isn't even your neighborhood, I'm sure there's convenience stores over on your end of hell."

"Ace."

She whipped around quickly, hair flying everywhere as she glared up at him with fire in her eyes as she asked,"You've been busy?"

"I—" Carmen sensed this might be a trick question as he halted,"Uh, yes, I guess."

"Hm." She kept walking.

"What?" He followed.

"Just wondering what could keep you so busy that you wouldn't attend his funeral." Araceli shrugged as she picked up several different candies and made her way to the register,"You showed up, you left, now you're back?"

He sighed,"If you would just—"

"Are you together?" The man behind the counter had the audacity to ask.

"No." They both said a tad aggressively, also somehow rolling their eyes simultaneously.

She turned to face him once,"If I would just what? Let you explain? By all means, Carmen, the floor is yours, explain, please, I'd love to hear what you have to say. What possible reasons could you give me for everything that's happened in the last five years? Or even the last four months would be great, really, where the hell have you been, hm?"

"There's a diner down the street." Carmen avoided her eyes,"We can talk there."

Araceli rolled her eyes, she tossed her cash down and didn't bother waiting for the ten cents as she grabbed her items and made her way outside. The cold air nipped at her nose as she debated whether she actually wanted to do this right now. She hadn't planned staying out long, she hadn't even brought a jacket and she was facing the consequences now as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms to create some friction.

The bell on the door of the convenience store clanged as he came out and stood behind her, she felt the denim material of his jacket being placed on her shoulders and his arm around her before she could even attempt a no. She wished she could blame the weather for the ways her eyes were starting to water, but she couldn't.

"C'mon, let's get you outta the cold, yeah?" His breath was warm on the back of her neck as he started to lead her away,"I'll buy you a coffee."

She must've nodded in agreement, or gave some type of go-ahead because next thing she knew he had his hand on her lower back as he walked next to her toward the stoplight. He pressed the crosswalk button a few times before turning to her and sighing,"You know it might actually warm you up if you put your arms through it."

"Don't tell me what to do." She rolled her eyes, but did what he'd said to anyway.

They walked in silence for a bit before reaching the diner he'd mentioned earlier, he held the door open for her and pointed out the booth in the very corner where they could have a bit of privacy. It was weird sitting across from him when just a few years ago she would've clung to his arm and scooted as close as possible, she stared at him expectantly as they sat there.

He had just opened his mouth to speak when a perky waitress came over and welcomed them to the restaurant, she smiled more so at Carmen than she did at Araceli and she couldn't help roll her eyes as the man in front of her relayed that they'd take two coffees black and a shit ton of creamer on the side (for him not her).

She watched the woman walk away with their menus in hand and an unnecessary sway to her hips as she went to place their order.

Carmen looked her in the eye now,"So what's the Redbull needed for?"

"It's been five years, Carm." She released a heavy breath, unable to stop the slight nickname from slipping past her lips. At least she hadn't called him something else, she thought.

"I know." He nodded.

"That's really what you wanna focus on?"

Another nod. "Baby steps." He repeated what she'd told him over and over multiple times throughout their youth.

"I fucked up." She frowned,"I put together two back to back shitty collections I thought were decent that actually don't even come close and now the owners of the gallery are threatening to feature a different artist for the next exhibition. If I don't come up with something good... they said they'd pull my funding too. I was going to all night it to try and make something new."

"Shit, Ace, I'm sorry." He leaned forward, hand reaching across the table in order to grasp her own,"Is there anything I can do?"

Instinct told her to knot their fingers together, but she forced herself to pull back and sit up in her seat so she could be further away. This was just in time for the waitress to come back and set down their steaming cups of coffee in front of them, she set the creamer by Araceli and she refrained from scoffing.

Carmen grabbed it and immediately started dumping a bunch of it into his mug, a stir stick tucked into the corner of his mouth. Araceli took a sip of her coffee as it was and smiled at the waitress around the rim of the cup.

The waitress flushed and seemed to get annoyed at her, but she kept it under wraps as she turned back to Carmen and placed a hand on his shoulder while batting her eyelashes at him,"And your pancakes will be right out, sorry for the wait, I requested the kitchen make them as you asked— blueberry and chocolate chip."

He simply nodded, ignoring the hand she'd placed on him in favor of facing Araceli instead,"Those still your favorite, right?"

"Mhm." She held eye contact with the other woman until she felt a nudge under the table and her gaze went back to him as a glare,"But I'm not hungry so you wasted your money."

He took a sip of his coffee before adding even more creamer and stirring it again, meanwhile the woman serving them watched the whole exchange and only looked away when a bell dinged to signal the pancakes were up.

She brought them over and set the plate in front of him despite having overheard that they were intended for Araceli,"I'll be back around in a few if you guys need a refill."

The nuisance was still looking only at him.

Araceli rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to mock her high pitched customer service voice, turning her irritation back over to Carmen,"Hey! I thought those were for me."

"I thought you weren't hungry." He smirked as he cut them up carefully.

She flushed, caught up in the lie. She'd been playing hard to get when the truth was that she hadn't had dinner yet. It was also why she'd been debating if she even wanted to drink her Redbull earlier, the empty stomach plus caffeine was never a good combination for her.

"What's that phrase...?" Carmy put the knife down and looked up,"Your mom would always say it to me whenever I'd claim I wasn't hungry."

"No te hagas del rogar." She scoffed, the familiar words sliding off her tongue from how often she'd heard them while growing up. It translated to don't beg, but it really meant don't resist simply because you like for people to beg and insist that you do something.

"Yeah, that." He said as he pushed the plate to her,"I was just cutting them up for you, Ace."

He took the syrup that'd been brought out to them earlier and doused them with an appropriate amount, adding a little more after she gave him a look.

"Thank you." She relented as she picked up the fork he held out to her and started to eat.

The humble atmosphere of the diner — excluding the pain in the ass waitress — paired with the breakfast for dinner reminded her of the many times they'd done exactly this before. They'd meet up at some random mom and pop restaurant and eat pancakes because she claimed they tasted better at night and debriefed each other on how their day went.

Only now... it was different.

"So he left you the restaurant." She started the conversation this time, unable to help her slight curiosity. She handed the fork back just in case he wanted some too, waiting for his response.

Carmen accepted it, taking a few pieces onto the tines and chewing slowly before speaking.

"Yeah." He said simply.

"How's that going? Planning on keeping it? He never did like you being around before." She brought up a sore subject,"Is it everything you dreamed of?"

"It's... something, well, actually, it's not, it's crap." He sighed, leaning back and running his hand through his hair,"Mikey was in a shit ton of debt, the place is run down as fuck, and he didn't exactly leave much for me to work with. He could've at least left a fucking note, but I guess even that was too much for him to consider."

He held the fork back out, which she took as she placed her elbows on the table and brought herself a little closer,"He wouldn't have left it to you if he didn't believe in you, who knows? Maybe this was his way of helping you get to where you always wanted to be."

"What do you mean?" He shook his head, confused.

"Cielo, you have a restaurant now." She explained, another old term of endearment escaping her,"Your own restaurant. It can be whatever the fuck you want it to be."

"Yeah, Richie'll fucking go for that." He placed his chin into his hands, stress painting itself across his face,"I'm already getting enough pushback from everyone and I've been back two weeks, every day is hell for me, Ace."

"Well, not to side with Richie... but you did leave him to deal with everything for four months, he's got a right to be pissed." She shrugged,"I tried helping out a few times, but his grief has closed him up to hearing reason. You just gotta give it a minute, you've been back two weeks, you haven't earned their trust yet."

"Wait," Carmen blinked at her,"You've been working at the restaurant?"

"Not working, really." She eyed the necklace hiding underneath his shirt,"Just picked up a few shifts here and there, Richie's got a lot going on and I've been helping with the customers sometimes whenever he needs me."

She was slowly falling back into the familiarity of him. It was like she wasn't even trying to fight it anymore, and she hated that it'd always been like this with him. She had a soft spot in her heart for Carmen Berzatto and five years hadn't been enough to close it, she was ever devoted.

Araceli leaned forward once more, taking his hands away from his hair and giving them a squeeze as she'd done many times before in order to comfort him and remind him she was there,"Forget about Richie for a minute, Mikey left that place to you, not him. Whatever he says is mierda anyway so don't listen to him, Bear."

Carmy smiled.

"What?" She felt herself get hot. She tried to pull away, but he didn't let her as he held on even tighter and then intertwined their hands.

He shrugged,"It's nice. This. It feels like us again, I missed it— you, I missed you, Ace."

She sighed as she ripped a hand away,"So did I, but don't think I've forgiven you. You have a shit ton of work to do to make up for everything, but if you're gonna try and make that place work, if you're really staying..."

"I'm not going anywhere." He reassured.

"I won't push you away." She started,"But it can't be the same as last time, something has to change. I won't stand by and watch you fall right back into your old habits again."

"That won't happen. I promise."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

translations !!
— no te hagas del rogar = don't beg, a hispanic
saying i explained sm better in the chapter
— (mi) cielo = my sky or my heaven, a term of
endearment similar to my darling / my love
— mierda = shit ( pretty self explanatory lmao )