Chapter Six

It was a dreamless sleep.

I only woke up when I heard voices. I didn't want to open my eyes. They felt too heavy and sore. My whole body ached as if I had been thrown around by the football team mercilessly. All I could do was lie there in the softness of my bed, listening to what sounded like Zeke and Dustin talking.

"I really don't trust him. He's putting us in danger. He knows the rules and he's not even following them." Zeke was saying angrily. Dustin sighed, the sound of his shoes scuffing on the floor and the chains on his jeans jingling.

"Hey, he makes the rules to whatever game he's playing. I'm not a player, just an observer, so don't look at me, stupid. It was your choice anyway. I warned you, but nooo. Nobody listens to Dustin." He ranted.

"Oh, shut up," Zeke snapped sharply, then took a deep breath, "Okay. We won't mention anything. The last thing we need is people getting suspicious. I'll just talk to him and tell him that we need to hurry things up."

"Why? Isn't it fun to play around?" Dustin asked, sounding perplexed. There was a long silence before Dustin hissed past clenched teeth as if he were in physical pain before the sound of his shoes scuffed on the floor toward the door.

"Oh Jesus, not again, Zeke. You remember what happened the last time you got in his way. He'll devour your defenses like fucking Hubba Bubba gum." Dustin spat and the sound of the door slamming shut behind him had me jumping, my eyes flashing open. Zeke scowled after him, then turned to see me awake, his eyes flickering.

"You're awake." He stated. I frowned, grimacing a little as I reached up to feel something cold on my forehead. I felt a washcloth lying there before I dropped my arm onto the bed, looking up at him curiously.

"What's going on?" I asked sleepily. Zeke stared at me for a while, then looked away, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of his pants.

"Nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing." I muttered dryly. Zeke snapped his head to glare at me now.

"You heard us?" He demanded, taking a step toward the bed. I winced and waved my hand at him tiredly, just letting it flop back on the bed as I tried to lift myself up, but I felt like I weighed two hundred pounds, so I gave up and stayed on the bed, tilting my head to stare up at him.

"Only a little bit. You're talking about Stephen, right? You're pissed because he's always hanging around." I mumbled. Zeke stared at me for the longest time, then frowned.

"I don't like him." He deadpanned.

"So you've mentioned." I grunted, annoyed with the fact that he felt the need to repeat that constantly. Zeke sighed, then plopped on the bed at my side, running his hands through his hair before putting his hands together in front of himself.

"Stay away from him, that's all I want. Stephen's bad news. He always has been." He responded, closing his eyes daintily. I think it might've been the fact that I was half asleep or maybe I was just really stupid, but I frowned.

"Did you act like that when Stephen talked to Jeremiah?" I asked. Zeke's eyes snapped back open and he stared straight ahead of the longest time. I saw a tic forming in his jaw, teeth clenched, his hand clasping together tightly against his chin like he was trying to keep anger contained.

"I'm sorry," I murmured tiredly, shutting my eyes tightly, "I don't know why I asked that. I'm so tired... I feel like I was hit with a ton of bricks--"

"Yes, I did act like that when Stephen was around Jeremiah," Zeke interrupted me suddenly, making me blink and look at him now to see him rising to his feet, glaring at me, "And for a good reason too. If it wasn't for Stephen's involvement, Jeremiah would still be here too. You're just so stupid, Matty. You never listen. Jeremiah never listened to me either. I could scream all I want and you guys still turn a deaf ear. Fine. Forget it. I'm done trying to be the good guy. If you want to end up like Jeremiah, go ahead. I couldn't care less."

I stared at him in disbelief as he whipped around, snatching a sweatshirt out of the closet and pulling it on as he headed for the door. I forced myself to sit up, grimacing at the pain in my ribcage.

"Wait! Zeke--" The door slammed shut behind him, plunging me into silence as I stared at the door.

Then I mentally cursed myself.

Goddamn it, what is wrong with me? I can't say anything right. I can't do anything right. I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes, taking deep breathes.

I needed to apologize. That's what I needed to do.

I heaved myself out of bed, stumbling for a second before I righted myself. I went to the shower and cleaned up before I dressed in a pair of black jeans and an Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt with the sleeves torn off. I managed to get out the door, my hair still wet and probably sticking up everywhere like wet chicken feathers as I locked the door, the key in my pocket.

I was planning to run to the cafeteria to catch up to Zeke, but as soon as I started, my whole body ached, so I changed my mind and just walked down the hallway, taking my time. I'd probably see Zeke on the way anyway at this rate.

A lot of guys just ran past me, laughing and horsing around. I suddenly felt jealous. I wish I had never gone into the old wing. I wish I had never grabbed that notebook or met Jeremiah. Then I'd be able to do what they were doing.

I wouldn't have to worry about ghosts or Satanists. I wouldn't have to worry about whether Zeke really liked me the way he did Jeremiah or not.

Now I felt like I was trudging, my thumbs hooked into my jean pockets as I approached the cafeteria. I peeked in, scanning for Zeke and Dustin. I also looked for Stephen in hopes of avoiding him and thankfully, Stephen wasn't there.

I finally spotted Zeke and Dustin walking to their place for lunch. I slipped into the cafeteria and hesitantly approached my friends. Dustin looked up with a cocked brow, folding his hands under his chin.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Nice hair." He added. I scowled, reaching up and running a hand through it to settle it down. Zeke didn't even look at me, just ate his BLT in silence. I bit my lower lip and looked at Dustin for help, but he held his hands up in surrender. I sighed, then plopped down by Zeke.

He still didn't look at me.

"Zeke, I'm really sorry I said what I said," I confessed at last, but he still wasn't paying attention to me as he sipped his apple cider, "I didn't mean to say it. I was just so tired and my body really hurts. I know you don't like Stephen, honestly. I'll just tell him not to hang around me when I'm with you." Zeke stopped in mid-bite, then set his food down to glare at me.

"Matty, that's not the fucking point. I don't want you around Stephen. Ever. Even if I'm not there, I don't want you within a fucking two mile radius of him." He snapped, then looked away. Dustin sighed, resting his cheek on his knuckles and watching as if it were some kind of soap opera. I glared at him for a quick second, then looked at Zeke in confusion.

"Stephen's not mean to me, Zeke. He's really okay once you get to know him--"

"You don't know him. That's just it." Zeke cut me off rudely. I blinked, feeling even more confused. Oh, just because they went to school together longer? That made them suddenly brothers or something? Well, brothers that hated each other anyway.

"Look, if it's because you're jealous or something, you can forget it," I snapped, suddenly irritated, making Dustin whistle teasingly, "I'm not gay and I'm not interested in either of you like that." Zeke's cheeks suddenly burned and Dustin smirked.

"Some people come out of the closet on their own. Others get forcibly pulled out." He mocked, making Zeke glare daggers at him.

"If you won't accept my apology, fine. Fuck you, Zeke. I was just trying to be the bigger man, which you obviously aren't." I retorted, slamming my hand down on the table as I got up to leave. I started to head down the aisle to the doors, ignoring Dustin's coos for me to come back and make some stupid love confession. I rolled my eyes and burst out of the cafeteria and just walked toward nowhere in particular.

I just fumed, walking down the hallway angrily.

That's so rude!

That's so Zeke!

I actually tried apologizing to him-- and that's pretty fucking hard for someone like me to do, so he ought to be grateful. I know what I said was rotten. I shouldn't have said it, but people say stupid things when they're not in their right mind.

I didn't mean to be so mean to him, but now I wasn't feeling guilty for it. He was the one being a jerk now. Again.

I also wanted to know if it was true. Did Zeke like me the way he did Jeremiah? Or was Stephen teasing me again? It was so hard to tell jokes from truth now and Stephen was always smiling when he was doing both, so he was nearly impossible to decipher and Zeke just blew up when it came to something serious, like Jeremiah or religion.

Something was going on.

Something that involved Jeremiah.

The fact that Stephen said I'd never see him again actually upset me. I wanted to see Jeremiah again. It looked like each time I go closer to him, he looked more whole. I had a feeling he'd be able to actually answer my questions any day now, but I wouldn't see him anymore according to Stephen.

And that tapestry of Lucifer.

Something was behind the door there. Something bad and something creepy. I felt like I was seriously going to turn around and open that door for whoever it was. The voice was just so smooth and silky, at the same time, it held a thick authority to it that reminded me of the Headmaster's. I shuddered, pausing in front of the chapel as I stared up at the cross over the door.

I frowned.

All of this seemed to drag back to the same subject.

The same choice.

Heaven or Hell?

God or Satan?

Good or Evil?

I didn't think I'd have to worry about any of that for the rest of my life. It was like voting for the president. I didn't really need to think about it because what happened, happened.

It wasn't like that, though, I realized with a wince. This was important. This had something to do with what was happening now and what was going to happen. Before I could stop myself, I was walking into the chapel. A blast of warm, welcoming air engulfed me as I came inside, the doors closing behind me gently.

Incense filled the air with a wooded lilac scent, the sticks curling smoke in the air from the alter that was joined by white tall, medium, and short candles. At least a hundred pews sat on each side of the aisle to accommodate St. Salvatore's students. At the front was a huge cross with Jesus nailed to it, his head tilted to the side and his eyes drifted upwards toward the stain glass window that sat overhead.

Purples, golds, reds, and greens poured down into the chapel, giving the room a warm glow. Just a few feet from the alter was the confession booth, waiting for someone to approach. Part of me wanted to walk over and confess everything.

Not just the fact that I stole money from other students or even the staff, not just the fact that I was the one who put a tack on Sister Tracy's chair, not just the fact that I've had dreams of being with another guy.

Stephen's constant smiles. Zeke's temper tantrums. Jeremiah's ghost. The thing that was behind Lucifer's tapestry. The clawed desk. The notebook. The demon known as Asmodeus.

All of it.

I wanted to spew everything, but something held me back. I shouldn't involve innocent people. I didn't want to get involved, but I ended up sucked in anyway and I hated it. And the worst part is that there was no backing out now. I'd dug my own grave and it was time to lie in it.

I sighed and walked up to the alter, studying the curls of smoke that danced in the air, rising up toward the ceiling. My eyes drifted up until they met Jesus. He wasn't a bad looking guy, but for some reason, something about him intimidated me.

I felt silly for being uneasy about a carving, but at the same time, it made me question.

If Jeremiah's ghost existed, what Jesus believed in could also exist, right?

God could exist.

Angels could exist.

And the worst part...

Satan could exist.

Demons could exist.

And I honestly didn't know which side was scarier. Knowing that someone could turn their back on you for just thinking differently was painful. Knowing that you could be shaking hands with Death was terrifying.

Why couldn't things just be simple again?

Then I did something that I thought I'd never do in all seriousness.

I bowed my head and pressed my hands together, squeezing my eyes shut. I didn't know how to pray like Sister Mary or the other students, so I decided to wing it.

I wanted answers.

I wanted reasons.

I wanted truth.

I stood there for a while, hoping something would happen, but the room was silent, save for the burning of the incense and candles. I sighed, dropping my arms to my sides in defeat, looking up at Jesus with a scowl.

"You know, it'd be really nice if you actually helped the people who prayed to you." I muttered, then whirled around, stepping off the alter and down the aisle. I almost reached the doors when I felt something.

It wasn't the cold draft, though.

No.

It was just a feeling. Like someone was in the room with me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I felt goose bumps slide across my skin, my breath catching. I hesitated, then slowly turned around.

My eyes widened and I stepped back, my back hitting the doors as I stared at a bright red inverted pentagram painted on the stain glass window. The red ink-- God, I hope that was ink-- ran from each of Jesus' eyes, streaking down his face and falling on the alter.

I gasped and my hands went flat against the door as I watched the red continue to fall, putting out the candles and incense. The air grew thick and heavy, like syrup. It was almost impossible to breath as I sucked in deep breathes, my eyes locked on the carving of Jesus on the cross.

"W-Who's here?" I managed aloud, my voice sounding small to me. There was no response, not right away anyway.

I waited, trying to get my legs to work so I could run out of the chapel, but before I had any progress, I heard a soft laugh.

No one's here.

The voice didn’t speak aloud. I heard it in my head. It was the same dementedly seductive voice from the old wing, from behind Lucifer's tapestry. I shivered at the sound of it and my legs buckled so I sank to the ground on my knees.

"What are you doing here?" I heard myself ask, my nails scratching at the floor as I tried to urge myself to get up and run, but it was damn near impossible. The voice laughed in my head and I reached up, clamping my hands over my ears tightly, squeezing my eyes shut.

Is my little lamb upset that I've come back to St. Salvatore's?

"What are you talking about?" I seethed past clenched teeth, cringing at the headache the voice was giving me. It was so sly and manipulative that it was getting harder and harder to fight it. The force of it actually had me crumpling further onto the floor so I was lying on my side, my breath coming out in quiet gasps now.

Yes... Just like that, little lamb. Melt. Melt so I can devour you.

The pain of it, the pressure, the red. All of it bundled together so I screamed past clenched teeth, digging my nails into my scalp. Just when I thought it was going to get worse, the doors behind me flew open and Zeke was standing over me within seconds, his eyes wide and expression concerned.

"Matty!" He was on his knees at my side, trying to pry my fingers off my ears, but I refused.

"Let go!" I barked, tensing my hands around my ears to block out the voice.

You're so feisty... I'm going to have so much fun with you, little lamb.

"Shut up!" I yelled angrily. Zeke winced, then grabbed my wrists and finally pinned them on either side of my head, making me gasp in pain. It took me a moment to realize he was straddling me, his piercing blue eyes glaring at me firmly.

"Matty! Focus! Come on!" He ordered. I blinked a few times, slowly feeling the pressure lessen. The voice vanished and after about three minutes of laying there under Zeke, panting, I was only left with a mild headache in my temples.

"Zeke?" I managed shakily. Zeke sighed and slowly let go of my wrists, sitting up a little on his knees, but not getting off me. I rubbed my wrists, looking up at him nervously.

"What just happened?" I asked. Zeke frowned, studying me suspiciously.

"You tell me. I heard you screaming." He answered. I felt a little dizzy trying to focus, but I managed as Zeke got off me, sitting against one of the pews. I sat next to him, my knees drawn up and my arms resting on them.

We were quiet for a while as I tried to settle my jumbled thoughts. It was like the voice had burrowed into my head, throwing everything around so I was confused. I managed to situate everything after a while and sighed, tilting my head back against the pew.

"Zeke, I lied to you last night." I said at last. Zeke glanced at me, then looked away, his eyes narrowed a little.

"I know." He responded bluntly. I blinked and looked at him in surprise. He snorted and elbowed me in the shoulder.

"I'm not stupid. Besides, I saw you two head to the old wing... Something happened last night." He concluded grimly. I grimaced and looked down at the ground, nibbling on my lower lip before I broke down and told him everything.

I had to.

Zeke had to know. He'd help me. Stephen wasn't going to. At least, I didn't think he would. He thought he had already helped me, but he hadn't. This time, it wasn't Jeremiah stalking me. It was something else, something bad.

I confessed my worries and pretty much dumped all my thoughts on Zeke. The entire time, he'd nod or his eyes would get dark, making me uneasy. I finally finished, resting my head against the pew and looking at him.

"I don't like the sound of it," He decided with a frown, "I think we should go back to the wing so I can get that notebook. Jeremiah taught me a bit of Latin. Maybe I can get something out of it." I blinked, turning my head to look at him to see that he was serious.

"You think so?" I asked hopefully. Zeke nodded.

"We'll need to go later tonight, though." He answered thoughtfully. I stiffened at the very thought of going back to that place, again.

"Why? Why can't we go now while the sun's up?" I asked, feeling my stomach sink. Zeke looked away with a scowl.

"Your fucking boyfriend reported me to the Headmaster again. I get to spend the rest of the afternoon listening to him bitch about how I'm an awful student." He answered bitterly. I winced, then sighed.

"Fine, but we're not going anywhere else, all right? Just to the classroom and back, please. And don't ditch me like Stephen did. If something happens..." My voice trailed and I suddenly realized I was shaking when I remembered last night. I froze, though, when Zeke put his hand over mine, resting on my knee.

I blinked and looked up at him. He leaned in before I could say something, his lips pressing against mine. I didn't move.

I didn't know how to react.

Zeke was kissing me.

His lips were surprisingly soft, just slightly chapped, as they pushed against mine. He shifted so he was in front of me, his hands on my knees and opening my legs so he could get between them. The entire time, our lips never parted. His tongue brushed between my lips and I gasped, letting his tongue slid in. I moaned when his tongue brushed mine, dancing and sliding against it wetly.

Zeke's hand cupped my face, his thumbs stroking my cheeks before one of his hands slid down my chest to the hem of my shirt, slipping underneath. I hardly noticed it as he busied his mouth with mine. At least, until his thumb brushed my nipple and I squirmed a little, trying to break my mouth away, but he only came after me again.

This time, his teeth scraped my lip and he nipped at my tongue, sucking on it so I couldn't speak. All I could do was melt against the pew, moaning as he tweaked and pinched my nipples until they were hard and sore.

I couldn't believe this was happening.

I was making out with a guy. Not just any guy, but Zeke Borowiak, my best friend.

The scary part?

I loved it.

I'd never felt so good in my entire life. Even if it was just simple touching and kissing, I couldn't believe there was so much power behind it. It made me feel lightheaded and dizzy the way his tongue skillfully dominated my mouth, his rough fingers rubbing my nipples.

I slumped against the pew as Zeke kissed me on the lips again before reaching up to cup my face, his thumb brushing my cheek.

"You're not angry." He murmured, though, he didn't sound too surprised. Almost like he expected me to kiss back.

"Uh uh." I breathed, still tasting him in my mouth. Zeke smiled and his nose brushed against mine before he kissed my forehead, leaning back.

"I have to go. We'll meet at the doors of the old wing tonight. Bring a flashlight. Don't dress warmly, though. It's gonna get hot tonight." He reminded.

"Okay." I answered dumbly. Zeke actually smiled again, then stood up and walked out of the chapel, leaving me to sit there stupidly.

What just happened?