https://youtu.be/Iyw-tEYeTUc

Me: I can do this. There's no doubt about it. (Puts on the Mask)

???: Hold on, Risky! Your first mate's gonna risk it for ya tonight! (Goes to Neo Bowser Castle) It's in the sky? (Grabs a pogo stick out of nowhere) This'll do the trick! I might need some assistance, though... (Whips out phone, calls a good friend of mine) Yeah, I might need your assistance, you vigilante of a master thief.

???: Need some help?

???: Yeah, Cooper. I might need some help with getting up there.

Sly: Say no more, partner. (Calls a turtle) Yo, Bentley! How have you been? My friend needs some help in getting to Bowser's Castle, and yes, it's floating.

Bentley: I might wanna call Murray first...

???: Too late! (Bounces up to Neo Bowser Castle) I'll save you guys some jewels!

(Meanwhile...)

https://youtu.be/V-YNUkmojxo

(Five color-coded metal humanoids are watching me from afar)

Red Axem X: So, after all these years... You finally show yourself... Loki. You will meet your end at our hands. After all... (Teleports to the ground) We fight for Lord Smithy!

Black Axem X: (Twirls his axe) We live for chaos!

Green Axem X: (Has a pencil in his ear and a calculator in his hand) We love our work!

Yellow Axem X: (Drinks milk) We eat bagels!

Pink Axem X: (Winks) We're gorgeous!

All: We are... The AXEM RANGERS X!

(Yes, TimeLordParadox might have used the Axem Rangers X, but he didn't use them THIS early! Anyways...)

Lord Smithy: GET TO WORK, ALL OF YOU!

Red Axem X: You heard Master Smithy! Let's go! (Tails me, but not too close)

???: Huh...? Nah, it's probably nuttin'! (Checks the door) "Treasure Room"... (Mischievous snickering, checks out the treasure room) And there's seven stars...? Could those be...? (Mischievously grins, takes the stars and the gold)

???: It was getting cramped in there!

???: Thanks for that!

???: This guy appears to be wearing that Norse artifact...!

???: At least he's on OUR side.

???: Who ARE you, though?!

???: Today will be the day you have been rescued by... The Nintendo Spy! (Hands them the Star Rod) You need this? No problem! Here you are.

Eldstar: Thanks, Nintendo Spy! My name is Eldstar. The rest are Mamar, Skolar, Muskular, Misstar, Klevar, and Kalmar. And together, we are...

All seven: The Star Spirits!

Nintendo Spy: And you have been playing a part in granting selfless wishes, I take it?

Misstar: Yes! How did you know?

Nintendo Spy: My real self has been playing "Paper Mario 64" a lot. Anyways, you might want to head back to Star Haven. The Mushroom Kingdom needs you.

Eldstar: Capital idea! Let's go, but one last thing...

Nintendo Spy: Yes?

Eldstar: We know who you really are... But for the sake of the plot, we'll keep it to ourselves.

Nintendo Spy: Deal, my seven star friends! Take care, now!

All seven Star Spirits: You, too! Bye!

Nintendo Spy: And now, back to raiding Bowser's Castle! (Takes gold, about to leave, sees Bowser, and hides)

Bowser: Hmm... My treasure room is already open...? Kamek! Locate the intruder and hit the alarm!

Nintendo Spy: (Comes out of hiding) YOU'RE THE BOSS, KING LOSAH! (Breaks the alarm)

Bowser: My cash!

Nintendo Spy: Yeah, we'll write a thank-you letter for your donation.

Bowser: It's theft, so give it back! (Breathes fire)

Nintendo Spy: Got a light? (Jumps on a pogo stick, turns into a fireman) FIRE IN THE HOLE! (Sprays Mach 7 water jet at Bowser) And he really is A-HOLE, isn't he?! (Mischievous snickering) You almost caught me, but you are too slow for... The Nintendo Spy! (Exits through a Warp Pipe, places the coin stash of 2 million dollars towards a Jedi Temple) If only I did this when Anakin was alive and still liked his associates... (Impersonates Sonic) Eh, can't win 'em all! (Thinks about it) The Jedi Temple was actually rude to Mace Windu and the Jedi Council, so I don't feel bad about doing THIS! (Wakes up everyone but the Jedi Council with Marx Soul's Ear Rape Scream, maniacal laughter)

InfiniteLeJackal: The Nintendo Spy... Who exactly ARE you...?

TO BE CONTINUED in Chapter 3...