Okay, here's the first new chapter of this book. Not sure how long it will be but it'll be shorter than the last one. And wayyy less complicated and confusing.

Living Room
Berica's House
4:30 PM
Saturday
January 28th

Erica's POV:
I had been feeling strangely for a little while but I thought nothing of it. Curiosity got the best of me, so I googled my symptoms and came up with a unsettling conclusion.

It said I might be pregnant.

I'd been trying to convince myself it was nothing all day, but decided I needed to know. 

Ben and I had been watching tv when I got up and walked outside without a word.

I walked to the car quickly and heard him run out after me.

"Erica what's wrong?" He called.

As much as I wanted to tell him the truth, I didn't want to worry him and I had no idea how he'd react. I decided to wait and tell him later after a test.

"It's uh- nothing."

"You know I'm not dumb enough to believe that."

"It was worth a shot." I said as I tried to smile.

"Erica are you okay sweetie?" He asked, and I could hear the worry in his voice growing.

"Yeah I'm fine." 

"Erica, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong. And don't lie and say you're fine. I can tell you're not. Should I call your mom and see if she can help with anything?"

"Thanks Ben but I just need to run to the store."

"I can go get whatever you need or come with if you want."

I can't let him do that. I'd have to explain it first.

Not yet. It's too soon.

"Thanks but I need to go myself and clear my head."

"Okay, but drive safe. I'll wait here on the porch for you."

"You don't have to."

"It wasn't an offer. It was a statement." He said firmly.

"Okay, your choice. I'm just running to Walmart a sec. I'll be fine."

"Okay but call me if anything happens."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

I closed my door and drove away as he sat on the front porch.

I took a deep breath.

I decided to turn on the radio to try and help me relax.

But somehow every song that played only reminded me of Ben. 

I turned it of and tried to figure out how he would react.

Would he be worried? Scared? Mad? Sad? Happy?

I'd changed a lot since I was 'Ice Queen' but I still never quite understood how people reacted to certain situations a certain way and why.

We lived close to one so I parked and went in. I grabbed some chips and a couple cokes so I could get what I was really there for inside without Ben knowing I had anything else.

I grabbed a pregnancy test and headed for the self-checkout. I prayed there would be no problems making an employee's help necessary. Thankfully everything went smoothly and I headed home.

It had started raining so Ben got an umbrella and walked to my car. He helped me out but I was still focused on my thoughts I slipped a little.

Shit.

He looked confused but continued to walk with me. He opened the door and I hugged him before heading to the bathroom.

While I waited for the results I heard Ben talking. I almost called out but realized he was on the phone, probably with my mother.

"Erica? Baby are you okay?" He called out as he walked this way.

"Yeah."  I muttered..

He stopped at the door.

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Okay."

I heard him sit against the door on the side opposite me. I looked at the test and saw 'positive.'

While it could be wrong, it was most likely correct.

"Can we talk?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you and I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"Because you're acting a little off, especially in the last few hours."

"No I'm not."

"I'm not blind."

"I'm just not feeling great, okay?"

"But it's more than that because you're distracted."

"Yeah cuz I don't do well with being sick. I hate it." Which was true. Just not this time.

"I know. But that's not it. Erica I'm here to help. But I can't do that if you won't talk to me."

"Okay. But I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fair enough. Let's just talk then. About whatever. Or we could watch Leverage. What will make you feel better?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Can I come in now?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Open the door a little bit for me?"

I moved to the wall and opened the door so he could come in.

He took my hands and sat across from me.

"You know I'll support you no matter what, right? I love you more than anything else and will be here no matter what. Always."

"I know."

"Good. Are you feeling okay?"

"A little off but otherwise yeah."

"Did something happen?"

"I don't know." I answered truthfully.

"Okay. If you want I can call Catherine. Or Zoe or anyone really."

"That's okay. I just need you here."

"Awwee okay. Then if that's what you need, I'll be right here."

"Thanks."

"Absolutely. Do you want food or something to drink? Anything?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

We sat there a while not saying a word. Thoughts raced around my head. 

What if it was right? I can't be a mom. I have no idea how to raise a child. I don't even know how to tell Ben I'm probably pregnant.

I had to tell him. I needed to.

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Alright."

I hesitated.

"Did you... wanna talk now or...?"

"Yeah okay."

I looked up into those big green eyes.

"Why do you look worried baby?"

"I don't know how you're gonna react."

He looked as confused as ever.

"To what?"

"I'm... pregnant?" I said as slowly as I could. 

I grimaced. And then he hugged me.

"That's what you were worried about?" He said calmly with a hint of playful.

"Yeah?"

"Baby why? It's nothing to be worried about. Like I said I'm here with you all the way, no matter what and-" Recognition flashed on his face. "Hold up I'm gonna be a dad?"

"I think so. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is!"

He hugged me again.

His eyes started to water and my jaw dropped a little in confusion and shock.

"What?" 

"I thought you'd be upset."

"Why would I? I love you and there is nothing that will ever change that."

"But we're spies and this might make it difficult."

"You're 26. I'm almost 24. We are definitely adults at this point and we'll figure it out. It'll be perfectly okay."

"Yeah."

"Something wrong?"

"What if I won't be a good mom?" I said quietly.

"I don't understand. How could you not?"

I looked at the floor. He put his hands on my face and made me look at him.

"You're caring and protective and loving and fun and responsible. And more! You'll be an amazing mom. Listen to me, you will be an amazing mom, no doubt about it and that's final."

He stood up and pulled me after him. 

And then he picked me up.

"Put me down Ben." I said softly.

"I will in a second. But we're gonna go watch a show because you're clearly stressed and it will help you take your mind off things."

He brought me to the living room and tossed me on the couch playfully. He lay next to me and held me close and tightly.

We watched it for a while when he looked at me and smiled reassuringly.

"Everything's gonna be just fine, I promise."

Ik it's short and bad but the next one will be better I promise.