i think i'm crazy
each time i close my eyes
a singular, ominous yellow slit
(eternally changing, pine tree
shooting star, pine tree
shooting star, never making
a decision, never making a choice)
appears in my head,
and i can't shake it away
please, i wish for another day

i think i'm crazy
in class, i open my backpack
and he's crawling out
of it: the bright lemon-colored demon
with arms in the thousands
staring right into my soul
my eyes sting, an enormous
pressure rises in my chest
and i'm asked to leave the room
(he doesn't come with me,
thank god, thank god --
even if he allowed this monstrosity to
exist)

i think i'm crazy
i'm sitting on the couch
my head aches, as though meteors
and comets were crashing upon my head
the universe is on fire while the TV
brays with sound, reminding me
that life still goes on, even when
behind the scenes
stuff no one will ever see again
has occurred, and there's no going back
(she finds me curled up hugging a pillow
her smile is warm and soft, but in her eyes
i can see the same pain -- she suffered, too)