In the leaf village, a girl was walking through the village. She had long red hair in braids; a ninja headband on her head, and a scar going across her left eye. The girl wore a brown skirt, a purple shirt, and an orange scarf. She had wrappings on her arms and legs. Her name is Aceso Matsuba-Hatake. A well-known doctor throughout the lands. 

It was a peaceful day in the leaf village, Aceso was walking through the village with herbs in a basket when she heard a lot of yelling and crying.

"Ahhh!" a little girl cried as she ran through the crowd. The little girl had light brown hair tied up in a bun, freckles, and brown eyes. She was wearing a white shirt with a  pink vest with a bunny on it; a pink skirt. Three people with masks were chasing after her. She tripped; she turn to look at the people in fear. "Go away!"

"Oh, we'll leave. As soon as you give us the money!"

"Fork it over and nobody gets hurt."

"That's what you get for borrowing it!"

"Leave me alone!" the little girl cried. 

"We'll be outta your hair as soon as you pay up!"

"Give it up and this'll all be over."

"You should've paid us back sooner!"

"But, I can't!" the little girl cried. 

"We'll be up in your face until we see the cash!"

"Then you won't have to bear the embarrassment anymore!"

"This is the perfect crime, guys!"

"That is enough out of you!" a familiar voice shouted.

"Huh?!"

"Wha-"

"Who said that?"

Aceso looked to see a man in a green jumpsuit; orange leg warmers, and a green chunin jacket. He was crawling over to them like a crab, with his head all the way back. The boy had dark shinning hair, normally in a bowl-cut, and thick dark eyebrows. 

Rock Lee

He started to get into different poses. "Lowlifes like you need to be taught a lesson!"

"Huh?" Lee jumped up. 

"Who are you?"

He landed on the ground. "As much as I would love to tell you that I need no introduction, it would be rude of me not to provide you a name. Even though you three are wearing masks! Get ready, because here comes the intro! No one can determine me from my path!" In a skit, he pushes a sign to the side to just get run over by pigs. " My favorite words are...Effort" He was eating tons of curry." And guts!" Now in his underwear in the cold. "I am a ninja who lives for love!" A picture of Aceso popped up, he was trying to kiss. Lee pushed the image to the side. "The name of your foe..." He jumped up kicking and spinning. "Hah! Ya-gi-gi-gah!" He landed in a fighting position. "Is Rock Lee!" He gave a sparkly smile. The crowd was chattering among each other; Aceso stood on the wall watching. "If you really think I am going to let a trio of thugs pick on a helpless little girl, think again!

"Scram, half-pint! This ain't none of your concern!"

"You wouldn't be talking all tough if you knew who we were! I hope you like knuckle sandwiches!"

"Don't say we didn't warn ya, buddy!"

Lee got into a stance. "Then you leave no choice! If talking will not fix this, then punching will have to do!" Lee took off toward the trio.

"Bring it on!"

Lee let out an attacking yell, he paused when a small dog popped, before walking away. "Ahhhh!" He skidded to a stop. "Doooooggg dooooooo!" He manage to stop in time, flying over, he looked forward with a smile and stumbled before pulling the pants down of one of the thugs. Little blue and dark polka dots boxers were revealed for all to see. People burst into hysterical laughter. 

"Ooh! Nice undies, bro!"

"That's hot!"

"Polka dots are in!"

"You jerk!" the thug cried as he pulled his pants up. "I'm gonna get you for this!" He ran off, and the other two followed.

"That ninja is pretty awesome!"

"Give it up! All he did was fall down!"

"Huh..." Lee breathed as he looked up; his face lit up when he saw Aceso standing in the distance. He quickly got to his feet. "That maybe how it looks to the untrained eye...but, to those in the know. That move lets one win a fight without hurting the other guy!" He erratic moves. "Elimination by Depantsification!"

"No way! That sounds so fake!"

"He just tripped over dog poo, that's all!"

"I think it was great," Aceso said as she walked over; she noticed that the little girl had hearts in her eyes as she looked at Lee. 

Lee took notice as well. "I can tell by the hearts where your eyes should be, that you are impressed by prowess! Give me your hand!" He reached out her hand. "I will have a dear friend of mine check on your injuries!"

"Okay," the little girl quickly agreed. 

"Give me a break!" Tenten ordered as she appeared, she whacked him with a giant paper fan. 

"Ahhh!" Lee cried as he flew into the fence, pieces broke, and he was now hanging by one leg. 

"Oh, Neji, Tenten," Aceso greeted.

"Lady Aceso," Neji greeted as he got into a fighting stance toward Lee.

"That jerk," Tenten grunted as she glared at Lee.

"Look who left us behind again!" Neji said. 

"We're supposed to be a team, y'know!" Tenten reminded Lee. "Which means you can't ditch us whenever you feel like it. Now, let's get going."

"Sorry, but, could I get a little more help before you take him away?" the little girl asked. 

"Of course!" Lee greeted. 

"Are you alright, yourself?" Aceso asked as she knelt by the little girl. "Are you hurt at all?"

"Not at all," the little girl denied. "But you should check on him." Neji and Tenten looked away in annoyance as Aceso went over to Lee. He had blood dripping out of his nose.

"Are you alright?" Aceso asked as she crouched down to eye level with him. 

"I am now," Lee said with a smile, his face growing red. 

Soon all of them were standing on the ledge, with the Hokage faces in their view. The little girl explained everything to them.

"Lone Sharks?" Aceso asked

"Yeah," the little girl sniffed. "They're picking on me to get my dad to pay back what he borrowed from them. 

"Paying back a debt is important, but picking on those who are weaker than you is not honorable!" Lee exclaimed with his hands on his hips. 

"Hm!" Tenten smiled as she looked at him. "That's a good way to put it!"

Lee looked at her with a smile. "A friend of mine owed some money to some people once, and all they did was big him day and night!"

***

It was dark, Gai sensei was sitting in a room, candle lit, he was pressing his phone for missed calls. 

Beep

"Sir, the movie you rented, After school Escapades, is now overdue."

Beep

"Sir, the movie you rented, After school Escapades, is now overdue."

Beep

"Sir, you might as well just buy the movie."

Behind a door, Lee was watching in distraught.

****

Tenten smacked Lee again with her paper fan, sending him flying into Lord Third's stone face.

"Ahh!" Lee cried out with blood something out of his nose again. 

"Lee!" Aceso called out as she went to the railing.

"I wouldn't bother," Neji said as he put an arm in front of her.

"Overdue movies have nothing to do with loan sharks, you big dummy!" Tenten scolded as she danced on her toes. She stopped, turning to the little girl. "Do go on."

"My dad's been working extra hard to make enough money to pay them back, but that's enough," the little girl explained. "If we don't give them ten times as much as he borrowed, they're gonna mess up our house!"

That's awful," Neji said with his arms crossed. "Having loan sharks threaten your family like that."

"Is this why you came to the leaf?" Aceso sked.

The little girl nodded. "I wanted to hire a ninja to protect my family from those thugs, but then they caught up with me on the way." Lee finally made his way back to them, he was holding onto the railing. "I'm just glad this nice man was here to save me!"

Tenten, Neji, and Aceso all looked at each other.

"Save you?" Tenten asked. "All he did was pants a guy. 

The little girl got close to Lee. "Please, Mister. You wouldn't leave us high and dry, would ya?"

He hopped onto the railing. "Do not worry! I am on it!"

"Uh, what are you talking about, Lee?" Tenten asked. 

"Yes," Neji agreed as they watched Lee move around. "We're already on a mission, remember?"

"We will just have to make room for this one as well," Lee declared.

"Do you mean it?" the little girl asked.

"Those thugs are toast!" Lee exclaimed with a big smile. "And I am the toaster who will bring them justice!"

Tenten smacked him into Lord Third's face again. "You're not a toaster, you dummy! That simile makes no sense!"

"It's a metaphor," Neji corrected. Those three went to help the little girl, and Aceso went to the hospital to make some medicine. 

Later that evening, Aceso was fixing up Lee, in a hospital room. She was stitching him where they were claw marks across his chest, also his head from when he pantsed the little girl on accident. He told her all about the mission, how he was able to defeat four thugs and kept having to skip over dog poo. 

"Getting pantsed in front of others can be pretty humiliating," Aceso said. 

"I just wish she would be a little more grateful," Lee grumbled, he was holding an ice pack to his eye. 

"I'm glad you helped either way," Aceso said. "It was extremely kind of you and your team." She leaned down and kissed his forehead, this got Lee to go red and pass out. 

Narrator: Rock Lee wants to become a great ninja, but he can't even use the power that defines them. Get comfy. I think this is gonna take a while. 

****************

A new day have arrived, Aceso was walking through the village with her brother Naruto Uzumaki.

"You got a mission today?" Aceso asked.

"Yup!" Naruto gave a thumbs up. "I'm on it right now! My client wants to me get her one of those Baumkuchen."

"Oh, a patient told me about this," Aceso recalled as she looked up. "Super popular and only 50 made a day."

"And I am to get my client one!" Naruto smiled. "Believe it!" They rounded the corner to see a huge line.

A guy with a sign was waving a ticket around. "We only make fifty Baumkuchen a day and forty-nine of them are spoken for! Somebody'd better grab this voucher!"

"Ah!" Naruto panicked as he ran forward, he held out his hand. "Give it here!" He held his hand out at the same Lee showed up and held out his. 

Lee and Naruto looked at each other and yelled. "Ahhhhhh!"

"Bushy-brow!"

"It is Naruto!"

Narrator: This is Naruto Uzumaki, in case you didn't know. He's not always the sharpest kunai in the pack, but he's just as determined as Lee to succeed! Above all, he's a really strong shinobi! He's the brother to Rock Lee's crush, Aceso Matsuba. And when's not guest-starring here in chibi form. He's the lead in his own show.

"You're here for the Baumkeuchen, too?" Lee sweated.

"That's right," Naruto sweated. "But not for me. I'm just picking it up as part of a mission."

"Same as us then," Lee said as Aceso went and stood by Tenten and Neji.

Naruto and Lee growled; they slammed their heads against each other. "This is a mission! No mercy!"

"So, the voucher?" the man asked. "Who wants it?"

"I do!" Naruto and Lee shouted as they both grabbed, they both had flames in their eyes. "Hand it over!"

"I am not trying to be a jerk about it, but I really need that Baumkuchen!" Lee explained. 

"Not as much as I do!" Naruto explained. 

"I can not back down! And neither can you!" Lee shouted as the flames grew bigger.

"Looks like we're gonna have to settle this the old-fashioned way!" Tenten, Aceso, and Neji all looked at each other and sighed. 

**

Two birds flew by shouting "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!"

They were now all at the training grounds. Aceso was holding the last voucher, she was at the top of a tree, and down below was everyone else.

"The rules are symbol enough," Lee began. "Whoever gets to Red Rose and grabs the voucher first gets to keep it!"

"That's it?" Naruto asked. "Piece of cake!"

"Lee! You know he has skills, right?" Neji asked. "This won't be easy!" Lee looked back giving a thumbs up and a sparkly smile.

Tenten gave her input. "He's silly and forgetful and clumsy and cheap." Aceso saw Naruto being a bit irritated. "And perverted and greedy and full of himself and an all-around butthead, and dork, but he's a top-notch ninja!"

"Why would you even say all that junk?!" Naruto demanded as he turned to her angrily. "Now that's going too far, Tenten!"

" I will give it my all!" Lee assured.

**

Lee and Naruto were now eating ramen together.

Lee: He is not someone you can defeat without proper training

Lee became full on his third bowl of ramen, while Naruto was on his 8th bowl. 

"I don't think that's what Tenten, meant," Aceso said. 

**

Now Naruto and a clone were making a rasengan.

Lee: And his ninjutsu is at a much higher level than an ordinary ninja's would be!" The rasengan turned into a red flower.

Tenten: That was just some lame magic trick!

**

Orochimaru started to turn into a robot in space. 

Lee: He has fought so many villains. Here and a long time ago, in a galaxy, far, far away!

Tenten popped up with her arms crossed. "Okay, that never happened. Let's keep this in our world, okay?!"

**

Naruto and Lee were now lined up for the race.

Tenten had a starter gun. "On your mark...Get set...Gooo!" With a bang, the two started to race. 

"That baumkuchen is mine!" Lee declared. 

"Keep dreaming!" Naruto shouted as Lee took the lead. Naruto jumped on a branch, and it broke. "Ahhh!"

Lee looked back. Bad luck there! I guess it was not meant to be!

Naruto looked up growling. "Sexy Jutsu!" Naruto shouted, he transformed into his sexy form, a curvy girl in all the right places, with blonde hair in pigtails. Clouds were covering the private areas. 

Narrator: For reasons that are pretty obvious, Sexy Jutsu is one of Naruto's most effective moves.

"Ahhh!" Lee chimed, his face was red, and hearts were popping out of his eyes. It caused him to lose focus and hit a branch. 

"I had a hunch Naruto's ninjutsu would give him an advantage!" Neji stated. 

"Whatever!" Tenten huffed in anger. "He lost the lead because he was being a perv!"

"That is not the case, Tenten!" Lee denied as he flipped through the air. "I am the type of man who lives by his instincts!"

"Spare me the lame excuses, Lee!" Tenten ordered as she shook her fist. "Stop twirling already and get that voucher!" Lee slammed into a tree again. 

"Aahh!" Lee cried as he fell.

Naruto landed on a branch, transforming back into himself. "Hey, Lee! Thanks for the lead, sucker!" He took off again.

Lee started to get back up. "He is not the only one who got the Sexy Jutsu up his sleeve."

"Can he really imitate any move, when he's only seen it one time?" Tenten asked her and Neji followed. 

"You know the Sexy Jutsu, Lee?" Aceso asked.

Lee smiled up at her. "I've been working hard on it!" He looked forward holding up his fingers. "Hah!" The puff of smoke disappeared leaving Lee in a matching set of red bikini. 

"You just changed into a bikini!" Tenten shouted. 

"This look will stop my opponent dead in his tracks!" Lee assured as he looked at Tenten. 

"It's a cute bikini," Aceso said as she tilted her head. "Where did you get it?"

"That's what you're concerned with?!" Tenten asked in disbelief. 

Neji appeared behind Lee. "You don't wear that under your jumpsuit all the time, do you?

"That's what surprises you?!" Tenten exclaimed in disbelief. 

Naruto was rubbing his head, blood was coming out of his nose. "Not bad for your first time out!"

"Would you two stop drooling all over each other?!" Tenten requested. 

"Naruto did that move affect you?" Aceso asked.

"Nah," Naruto denied as he rubbed his head. "This nosebleed's from hitting my head on this branch when I jumped." He painted to broken branch above, there was a bump on his head as well. 

"Honestly, I think you're actually dumber than Lee!" Tenten cried. 

Lee jumped away to continue the race. "I disagree! It is time to make my comeback!" He was running up the tree they had stuck Aceso in. 

"Oh no, you don't!" Naruto denied it as he held up a hand sign. Many clones popped up. "That cake is mine!"

Narrator: Here's another classic Naruto move, the Shadow Clone Jutsu. But you knew that! He's really beside himself.

"What's the point of copies?" Tenten asked. "Having a bunch of himself running around won't help him win the race."

Lee stopped to face the many Naruto's. "So that is how it is! Shadow Clone Jutsu!" There was a puff of smoke.

"That's incredible!" Tenten lit up. "Did Lee really just--" They saw Lee running extremely fast to give off the illusion of clones. "Running fast to give illusions of multiple shadow clones is not Shadow Clone Jutsu! Cut it out already!"

 Lee skidded to a stop. "Harem Jutsu!" Lee was now running fast in his bikini. Aceso couldn't help but take the opportunity to check out his butt.

"Ahhhh!" Tenten cried as Neji looked sick. 

"Ugh!" Neji grunted as he fell back. "The humanity!"

"Huh?!" Tenten asked as she glanced at her teammate. "Neji fainting doesn't give us any cake! I'm tired of being the voice of reason!"

"Here I come, Red Rose!" Lee shouted as he jumped, he still a bit away.

"Rasengan!" Naruto shouted as multiple clones went up to Lee with an attack. Lee managed to dodge a bunch. "I won't let you win!"

Just as Lee was about to reach Aceso, two Narutos appeared pulling down his eyes. "Too slow, two-piece!" The branch broke; Aceso fell with the voucher, she looked down to see Naruto ready to catch her.

"Ahh!" Lee cried as he reached down. "Noooo!" Aceso plopped right into Naruto's arms. 

Naruto took the voucher from Aceso and held it up for Lee to see. "That's all she wrote. I got the voucher first, Bushy Brow! Better luck next time!" Lee stepped onto the tree, he was staring down at Naruto angrily. He looked over to see Neji and Tenten staring up at him. 

*** Lee's skit

In a house, Lee was dressed as a mama, he cast Tenten as a baby and Neji as a school girl.

Lee was trying to calm down the baby as she was crying. "Oh, please do not cry."

"Do I have to be in this skit?" Neji asked in embarrassment as he looked to the side. 

"It is okay, Nejiko," Lee assured. "Be strong."

"But this problem is hard, Mama," Neji said in a small voice. 

"That is no reason not to try. Keep working you will figure it out," Lee assured. 

"Okay..." Neji sighed as he went back to the problem. 

Lee stared at Neji as his voice echoed. "She is the best daughter a mom could want, but she's so quick to give up whenever the going gets tough..." He looked over at a shrine at Gai-sensei. "I wonder...where does she get it from?"

"The other day, Sakura, this girl who sits next to me at school, was telling me all about a cake she had called a Baumkuchen," Neji started to speak. 

"Oh? Is that so?" Lee asked as he looked at him.

"All the girls in class were raving about it," Neji said as he looked away. "Ino's going to buy one after school tomorrow!"

"Really..." Lee said.

Neji looked back at Lee. "Not that I want one or anything. They cost too much, and you already work so hard for us, Mama."

The scene changed, both Neji and Tenten were asleep. Lee was looking at a piece of paper. "Nenkinya Baumkuchen. Fifty made a day, 5,000 yen each. Fancy store, charging an arm and a leg." He put the paper down, then walked over to Gai's shrine. "We cannot afford it. And my girlfriend Red Rose from the hospital is away from the village, so she won't be able to help this time around." He picked up the money. "I am sorry, darling. I hoped we would never have to spend this money. She already goes without so much. 

"Why are you making me a baby in this dumb skit?!" Tenten demanded. 

"This is no skit," Lee denied. "It is real life, Tenten."

"How can you say that, Lee?" Tenten asked. "You're not our mom, Aceso isn't your girlfriend, I'm not a baby, and Neji's not a girl!"

"Tenten, don't you get it?" Lee asked. "I just wanted Naruto to see how desperately we needed the voucher. Go for the heartstrings. That was the plan!"

"No way is this silly soap opera gonna change his mind!" Tenten denied. "I mean--" They looked over to see Naruto on his knees and sobbing. "He's crying his eyes out!"

Naruto got up close to Lee. "Bushy-Brow! I didn't see how badly you needed that Baumkuchen before, but thanks to your skit, now I know!" He held the voucher and Aceso. "Go on! Take the Baumkuchen voucher. No hard feelings, Take my sister as well."

"That was all fake, you do know that, don't you?" Tenten asked.

"You can't just offer me up like that," Aceso glared at Naruto. 

"And, you know I used ninjutsu, so I guess that you won," Naruto continued. 

Lee took the voucher, and Aceso into his arms, he looked up with tears in his eyes. "Naruto, I..."

"Well, see ya!" Naruto shouted as he grabbed Aceso's hand and jumped away. 

"You know...that Naruto is a real stand-up guy!" Lee said.. 

"Well you got the voucher, so at least there's that," Tenten pointed out. 

"Maybe I won the Baumbkuchen, but as a ninja and a gentleman...Naruto won, hands down," Lee admitted. "But the next time we square off, I shall be the victor!"

Narrator: Rock Lee wants to become a great ninja, but he can't even use the power that defines them. Not only that, but he wants to surpass Naruto, too.

"Uh, Naruto," Aceso began, he looked at her. "Why did you offer me up?"

"You were part of the skit," Naruto pointed out.

"Only so they could get the voucher," Aceso laughed. "You do know that, right?"

"Well, it sure worked on e," Naruto laughed. "That Bushy Brow sure is something."

***

Aceso was in the hospital to put together some medicine that Lady Tsunade requested, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, she looked back to see Lee, he seemed down as he placed his head on her shoulders. 

"Did you not get the Baumkuchen?" Aceso asked as she went back to her work. 

"No, he kept calling while we battling it out," Lee answered. "We missed it."

"Better luck next time," Aceso said with hope.

"If there is a next time," Lee slumped. She looked back at him. "What is it?"

"Where did you get that bikini?" Aceso asked.

"Your closet," Lee answered as his cheeks grew red.