{Play scenery by V}

꽃들이 가득한 거리에 오늘도 그대를 보네요
내 안에 담겨질까요
새벽달이 지난 공원에 지금 내 감정을 담아요
이 노랜 그댈 향해요
밤하늘 달에게 비춰진 필름의 소리를 들어요

I still wonder wonder beautiful story
Still wonder wonder best part
I still wander wander next story
I want to make you mine

그 찰나에 시간의 그 모습을
놓친 내 마음이 아쉬워해
후회가 돼 다시 그 찰나가 있기를
달빛조각 하나하나 모아 조명을 만들 테니
어제와 같은 모습으로 내 앞에 와주세요

I still wonder wonder beautiful story
Still wonder wonder best part
I still wander wander next story
I want to make you mine

Ah ah ah...

I still wonder wonder beautiful story
Still wonder wonder best part
I still wander wander next story
I want to make you mine
발자국 남기고 떠나가시면 제가 그 온길 지킬게요
흑백속에 남길게요

The song had come to an end but when will this extreme pain and gap in my heart come to an end? Why would something like this happen to us? Did we ever do anything wrong? Why must god take away my only light from my world? Why can't I get the joy of being called a 'mom'?Why?Why?Why am I alive? I thought. There is no reason for me to be alive in this world-

My intrusive thoughts started to reappear. My suicidal thoughts started to reappear.

I quickly went over the drawer next to the bed and gulped down my pills.

I know that Taehyung and my child must be watching me and scolding me for even thinking of taking my life myself. I still recall Taehyung's words the day I had lost my mother-my only parent after a year of dating with him, "Baby, you should know that there are rough times that come on our paths, that throws us into the depths of darkness but you must remember at the end we must find our own light, we must fight our own darkness and try to overcome it, so never ever give up on yourself as there is always something greater planned for us"

"But Tae I am not that strong to fight against my depths of loneliness and darkness, I need you, Please I need you Taehyung, come back to me" I whispered and shuddered a breath.

I sat on the sofa and played a movie while I blankly stared at the television and ate my dinner. I feel nothing, complete numbness when I am alone. I want someone to caress my hair, to shower me with their affections, watch movies together while lying down on the sofa and play with each other's hair, I want someone to sing me to sleep, just like you Tae. But can I replace you? Can I replace our memories and make new memories with someone else? Is it possible? Can I love someone with the same intensity I love you? Can someone ever love a person as broken as me? Can I m-move on? Can I cheat on you this way? Can I taint our pure love this way?No.No.Never.How can I ever think of doing something like this with you Tae, I can never replace you, no matter what.

I quickly got up and washed my dish and cleaned the kitchen slab and washed my hands. 

I went to the bedroom and slept on your side of the bed while imagining you beside me singing the song you created for me and falling asleep.

The End

Some of you might be confused and thinking as to how I did not complete further but as I said the pain of losing someone and still not letting go is very deep and immense which affects us severely, however, it depends on how we would let our past shape us, Would we want to just dwell in the past and forget about our present and future or should we move on? Many pity you or sympathize with you when you lose a certain someone and may ask us to move on but only the person who has endured the loss knows the darkness behind it.

This short story was to show how we may still be hurting due to a death or a breakup or trying to move on from the past, but it all depends on how we would mend ourselves and so the ending of the story depends on you.

Because only you can decide when the spring day comes...

Thank you for reading

-Much love<3