- for the ones we refuse to leave behind.

✰ ✰ ✰

MARCH 29, 2019
12:37 PM

"Is that not a complete invasion of my privacy?" I asked, hoping Theresa would back me up and confirm my feelings.

"It is, Ramona," she nodded from her chair, her pen and pad sitting in her lap as always. "It's a breaking of boundaries as well."

I sat laid back on the couch, my arms crossed over my chest as I scoffed, shaking my head. "Yeah well, Oscar's never cared much about boundaries. But to reach out to my friends asking about me? That's a new low."

In the last two weeks Cam, Kalia and Tallula had all came to me saying Oscar had reached out to them, asking about me. Asking about how I was doing. He basically cornered Cam in the store last week and Tallula and Kalia both said they got texts from an unknown number claiming to be Oscar. I didn't even know he got their fucking phone numbers. Above anything else, the entire situation was creepy and unsettling. I felt like I had to look over my shoulder at all times.

It got to the point I went to his house and almost kicked down his door. I would have if he hadn't opened it while my foot was in mid-air.

"And did you ever confront him about it?" Theresa questioned and I nodded. "What did you say?"

My mind went back to the other day as I stood in the living room of his house, screaming threats and insults at him.

"Stay away from my fucking friends, Diaz! I didn't think I had to clarify that after I said stay away from my family," I yelled, my acrylic finger in his face.

"I just wanted to know how you were, Mona," he defended, calmly.

It seemed lately as though roles had been reversed for the first time in our relationship. Oscar was always the one with the temper - the one screaming about to pop a vein as I stood there as calm as I could, trying to reason with him. But recently all the screaming and yelling had been done by me. Rightly so, but still, it felt weird.

"You're fucking worried about me when your brother is sleeping on my fucking couch?" I asked, incredulously. I stood up straight, challenging him. "Tell me, why the hell is Cesar sleeping on my couch instead of his fucking bedroom that's ten feet away from me and empty?"

"You know why, Mona."

"I want you to say it."

"Because that's what the gang ordered."

"That's right. And what does that mean?"

Oscar shook his head, sighed and said, "Ramona, I don't know."

"It means you love your gang more than you love your brother," I completed the thought for him. He frowned, his eyes becoming even more sad than before. "You love your gang more than me, man, whatever. I'm just a woman, but Cesar is your fucking blood and you still chose them over him."

I wanted to say so much more to hurt him. Like how he declared he stayed back from magnet school, how he gave up his better life because of that little kid, but how that couldn't be true because he wouldn't be treating him this way if Cesar was worth giving that up.

I wanted to make him tell the truth. Make him say that he gave up that better life not for Cesar, but because that's what he does. He gives up. He gave up the school in Pasadena, he gave up his dreams in that car with me on Halloween. Giving up was in his blood and I wanted him to admit it.

But I didn't. Instead, I said, "If you don't leave me, my friends and family alone I'll get a restraining order and your ass will be back in prison before the end of summer. I'm so serious, Oscar. Get the fuck out of my life."

"I said... a lot of stuff," I shook the moment from my mind again. "All that matters is that it should be enough for him to stay away for good this time."

"And that's truly what you want?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Of course that's truly what I want. What kind of question is that?"

"I'm just saying Ramona, you admitted you don't think he released the video of you both and you're a very forgiving person. Do you think you could ever go a step further and forgive him for what he did to your mother? Not anytime soon, but some day?" she wondered.

"No fucking way," I denied, attempting to keep the tears brimming my eyes from spilling. "I can't date her killer knowingly. And I don't want to. I've done some fucked up shit, like some really fucked up shit, but I could never do that. Not to her."

Theresa didn't say anything profound to my statement. She nodded, a simple "Okay," escaping her lips before moving onto the next subject.

✰ ✰ ✰

APRIL 2, 2019
5:25 PM

"Ramona, can you please get off your phone. I need your undivided attention," Ruby requested, from behind the couch.

"My undivided attention for what?" I asked, peering at him from over the back the couch. "We've basically decided on everything."

"Incorrect," he stated, shifting things around on the large board that was sitting next to his dining room table. At the top in large letters it read: RAMONA'S 21ST BIRTHDAY BASH. Under it contained all the details including, but not limited to: the entire menu, the guest list, the kinds of alcohol that would be served, the list of items going inside the gift baskets and the songs on the playlist. "We have to finalize the playlist, decide your outfits, figure out the final floral arrangement and a million more things including the order of the itinerary. Are you doing your speech after Kalia's performance? There's so many different orders. Guest speeches, Kalia's performance, your speech? Your speech, guest speeches, Kalia's performance? Kalia's performance, guest-"

"Guest speeches, my speech then Kalia's performance," I decided quickly, not wanting to hear him list the different variations. I sat up completely on the couch now, my arms draped across the back, my chin resting upon my hands. "And what do you mean outfits plural? I need more than one?"

"You need an entrance outfit, a mingling outfit and an ending outfit. Each gets less and less extravagant but all of them are equally beautiful," he answered. "I'm thinking start bold then go into some dramatized color."

"Ruby, don't you think that's a bit too much?" I asked. "I think one outfit will be enough."

"No way," Ruby shook his head. "Trust me, Ramona. It's all in the details. Now, Jasmine is putting in the cake and catering orders tomorrow. She's also booking the security team as well. Thinking of Kalia's house which is no doubt as modern as they come, the best match for flowers would be something opposite. Roses are too basic, that's clear. But what about forget-me-nots and cherry blossoms?"

"I vote cherry blossoms. Also, why are people getting gift baskets when it's my birthday? Shouldn't I be the only one receiving gifts?" I questioned.

"It's common party courtesy, Ramona. But if you want to look cheap in front of your guests we can ixnay the gift baskets," he sighed, snatching the gift basket details off of the board.

I rolled my eyes at him as the front door opened. Monse, Zahra, Jamal and Jasmine came rushing in, the door slamming behind them. "Ruby, it's time to head to Jasmine's fake ID dealer," Monse said, all three of them coming to a stop on the other side of the board.

"We're meeting him at six, it's only," Ruby stopped and looked at his watch. His eyes squinted, his forehead crinkling. "Five thirty? It's already been four hours? Let me put on my shoes."

He took off to his room and I groaned, turning around to sit correctly on the couch for the first time in three hours. I mindlessly stroked my hand through my hair as Jamal sat next to me.

"You sure you don't want to help us clean the money? We could use an extra body to make it go by faster," Jamal prompted, hopefully.

"I wish I could, but I just don't have the time, J," I sighed, disappointed. With my birthday coming up on top of the shoots and projects Chris booked for me and the premiere for Where the Wild Things go, I didn't have any free time to do all their planned costumed changes and exchange money. "Plus, we already decided it'd be unsafe for me to take part. You know, someone might recognize me and all that."

Jamal nodded. "Well, we'll miss you."

"I got you guys for sure on the next crazy plan you all come up with," I promised, a smile on my face.

Ruby came rushing out of his room, heading straight for the door. "Let's go!"

All of them listened to him, exiting the door he was holding open for him. Before following after them he turned to me and said, "Keep your phone close by and charged. We'll be in close contact to make sure these last details get sorted out."

"You got it, boss," I saluted him, only half jokingly before he ran out the door, closing it behind him.

I was about to text in the group chat asking if any of the girls wanted to hang out for the night when Shay's face appeared on the screen. I pressed the accept call button, bringing the phone to my ear.

"Shay, what's up?" I answered.

"Ramona, where are you?" her worried voice came across the other line. My face frowned up as I immediately stood up.

"I'm at Ruby's. Why? What happened? What's wrong?" I asked, quickly becoming worried.

"Just get here, Mona," she pleaded before the line hung up.

I slipped my shoes back on and shoved my phone back in my pocket before racing out of the front door. I didn't stop running through the streets until I made it to my house. I could see Shay and Cesar standing on the sidewalk outside of the gate. Shay was on the phone with someone else as Cesar stroked his hand through his short hair with a stressed look on his face. I ran up to them, the front of my house coming into view.

I slowed down my running, my hands going up to my mouth as I looked at it. The entire front of my house was tagged in big green letters that spelled PROPHET$. Their name was everywhere. On the windows, on the walls, on the front porch, on the sidewalk.

"They know you're here," I stated.

"I'm sorry, Ramona," Cesar apologized, tears brimming his eyes.

I shook my head at him, quickly wrapping my arms around him, "Hey, Cesar, don't. It's okay, it's not your fault."

"This is my fault!" he screamed, pulling away from me as he pointed at my house. "They did this because of me. Because they knew I was here. Don't lie to try and make me feel better."

"What's happening to you, Cesar," I began, looking directly at him. "It is not your fault. It's all effects of your brother's choice to do what he's doing to you. You're fourteen years old, none of this is on you."

I could tell Cesar wanted to believe me, but he couldn't let himself. Cesar held a lot of guilt and weight for his decision to not kill Latrelle and for what happened to Olivia and Ruby because of it. I could see it in his entire being. The way he moved around his friends, the way he looked over his shoulder every few seconds, like being with them put them inexplicably closer to death. And if I was being honest, it did. His presence was a danger - it's why he had move out of Monse, Jamal and Ruby's homes and now mine.

But even though Cesar was a symbol of danger, Oscar was the one who cast that bubble of danger upon him. By jumping him in, by giving him tasks he knew Cesar was too young and innocent at the time to handle. I knew Oscar did it just because he wanted to toughen him up, but I learned the hard way that toughening up something that is still too soft to handle it only leads to trauma. And death.

"I just got off the phone with Trevor and he says with a power washer and some paint everything will be fine," Shay asserted, walking up to Cesar and I. She gave Cesar a sad look. "But it's not safe for you to be here anymore. We'll need to find somewhere else for you to stay. I'm so sorry, Cesar."

Shay and I went inside and made some calls. We found out that there was an open bed at the church in town, the same one where Olivia's quince was held. The pastor accepted Cesar, no questions asked and before dusk he was moved in.

I didn't want to leave him there. Surrounded by people he didn't know, people who weren't family, but we figured a church would be the safest option. No Prophet is hitting up a church.

✰ ✰ ✰

APRIL 8, 2019
2:44 PM

"Thanks for the help you guys. Shay and I couldn't have finished so quickly without you all," I said, popping down next to Cam who was laying on Tallula's bed.

"It's no problem, Mona," Tallula said from her bathroom.

"Yeah, you're our friend. We're there for you no matter what," Cam smiled at me.

In the past week Tallula, Cam and Kalia came by my house and helped Shay and I repaint and clean it up. Even Chris stopped by to help one day. I know it wasn't the most fun they could've had, but they showed up and made it fun anyways. Like they always do.

"What she said. Plus, I take any chance I have to come look at those fine ass cholos," Kalia said, entering the room with a tin of pasta in her hand. "I like the tall one."

"Where the hell do your loyalties lie, Kalia?" I wondered.

"With you, of course. Just with hot guy on the side," she winked at me, slurping a noodle in her mouth.

"I mean, Sad Eyes is probably the best option to crush on out of all of them," she tried to reason.

"Yeah, I'm sure you would think so, Cam," I teased.

"Mona," she warned, glaring at me.

"What the hell are we missing?" Tallula asked, leaning against her bathroom door frame.

"Well, in high school before Cam got with Malik she had the biggest crush on Sad Eyes," I disclosed and both Kalia and Tallula began laughing. Cam shoved her face in the pillow, attempting to stay hidden.

"No way," Tallula gasped.

"Cam wanted that Mexican dick at fifteen," Kalia laughed.

"Thanks a lot, Mona," Cam removed the pillow, glaring at me. "Telling all my damn business."

"It's not even that bad," I rolled my eyes. "Especially considering he liked you, too."

Tallula and Kalia's mouths were practically on the ground now. "Bro, you're fucking lying!" Kalia accused and I shook my head.

"Nope. Oscar told me," I said. "I told Cam to hit him up after she broke it off with Malik, but she never did. Pussy ass bitch."

"The moment had passed!" she defended. "It had been years, dude."

"Well, if you don't want him, I'll gladly take him," Kalia stated, happily.

"Oh, we know," Tallula rolled her eyes. She noticed the food in Kalia's hand and frowned. "Is that my leftover pasta?"

"Maybe," Kalia said, her voice muffled by the food in her mouth.

"Can you come here once without eating my food?" Tallula questioned.

"No," Kalia replied.

Tallula rolled her eyes before walking back in the bathroom and continuing her makeup. Kalia turned back to Cam and I.

"So, how's birthday planning with Ruby going?" Kalia asked.

"Difficult," I sighed. "But I can't get mad. He's just focused on trying to have a good party. He just gets a bit too passionate sometimes. It's hard for him to not have control over everything all the time."

"I noticed. He showed up to my house the other day and was asking me so many weird questions. Like what brand of water heater I had," Kalia said, still confused about the weird memory.

"Yeah, I don't know what that was about," I sighed.

The kid was weird. All of them were, really, even Zahra. I chose not to question it anymore. A personal decision that I made to ensure my mental health because otherwise I'd go crazy.

We continued talking and catching up for awhile longer before Tallula had to leave for her group session with the girls, kicking us all out. Kalia headed back home and Cam and I headed back to Freeridge.

"Can I crash at your house tonight? My parents are in a baking frenzy trying to get some new items on the menu and my house is looking like World War III right now," Cam asked, pressing the button on her keys to unlock her car.

Cam's parents did a menu revamp once every few years. My mind went back to that time junior year I went over Cam's after school and her parents were trying out different recipes to spice up their menu. I found flour in every crevice for a week afterwards. It was intense, so I nodded my head without a second thought as I slid in her passenger seat.

"Yeah, for sure," I smiled. "I could use the company. Zahra's been super MIA lately with the cash washing mission and as always Shay and Trevor are working."

"We'll have a proper girls night, then. Let me just stop by my house so I can my overnight stuff," she said, clipping her seatbelt in and starting the car.

In a little less than an hour we were pulling into our neighborhood, going the opposite way I'm used to.. In a couple minutes we were pulling up in front of her house. We both got out and I went to follow her inside when a loud whistle and my name being yelled caught my attention.

Cam and I turned to the street, seeing a group of Prophet$ walking down the sidewalk and up to us. I didn't recognize any of them. None of them were there that night. I immediately became defensive and stand-offish.

"Ramona, where the hell you been at?" one of them asked.

"What's it matter to you?" I shot back.

"Terrence, we really don't have the time for this. Back off, okay," Cam warned, standing tall beside me.

"I'll back off when Mona tells us where Lil' Spooky at," he said.

"I don't know where he is," I lied. "He took off after you fucking destroyed my house."

"See, I would believe you if I didn't know how close you were to him and the rest of them fucking kids."

"Too bad I don't really care about what you believe," I quipped. "Now, fuck off."

A smile grew on his face as he turned back to his group, pointing at me. "Bitch thinks she can come on our side and tell us what the fuck to do." The group began to laugh and shake their heads. Terrence turned back to me. "Look, your man don't control shit over here. You might get away with talking to his peoples like that, but that don't work over here."

"He's not my fucking man," I spat, getting angry.

"He'll always be your man, whether you like it or not," he shrugged. "Now, we'll ask one more time. Where the fuck did you hide Lil' Spooky?"

"I didn't hide him no fucking where," I stood my ground, taking a step closer. "Now take your sorry ass posse and move around."

We stared at each other for a moment, waiting, challenging the other to do something. His eyes lit up as if something dawned on him. A small, sinister smile slid on his lips as he looked me up and down, looking his lips, "You know, I might be able to excuse you for housing that nigga. Maybe spend a night with me. I seen what you can do with Spooky in that lil' video and it ain't fair he getting all of your fine ass."

I didn't have enough time to stop myself before my fist collided with his jaw. His head snapped sideways before quickly turning back to me, anger on his face. "You fucking bitch."

"Fuck you!" I shouted.

"Terrence, listen-" Cam started.

"Nah, you listen," he interrupted her. "Malik protected y'all for a long time, but he's gone now. Which means both of you is fair game. But since you're both ladies, Imma give y'all a head start."

"A head start for what?" I questioned.

"Terrence, no," Cam shook her head, her eyes widening. "Don't do this."

"One," he began counting.

Cam grabbed my arm, attempting to pull me towards her car. "Let's go."

"No, I'm not fucking running from them!" I snatched my arm out of her grip. "We've been running for too long. No more."

"Two."

"Mona, now's not the time to play fearless badass! We need to go if you don't want to die," she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards her car. I snatched my arm away again.

"Cam, no!" I yelled. She turned to me, glaring at me. "Don't let them scare you. Unwritten rule number twelve - it's gotta go."

Unwritten Rule #12

Don't, under any circumstance, antagonize or fraternize with any gang member from either side. If caught in a situation with them, do your best to get out of the situation, well... not dead. Running is probably your best option. (Take up cardio. It'll come in handy.)

Cam looked at me, the fear present in her eyes. It's the most scared I had ever seen her. More scared than that night with Malik a few streets away. And I hated that for her. I hated she had to live in a place that made her feel unsafe in her own skin - in her own home. I hated she was considered an enemy because she had to cross imaginary lines and boundaries to spend time with her friends. Because she wanted more. I hated that fear had become apart of her being, even after everything good that has happened to her.

"We can't run forever," I shook my head, eyes still on hers as we became teary eyed. "We've already forsaked half of it. What's the other half?"

"Ramona," she said, her tone and use of my full name catching me off guard. Tears pulled in her eyes as she shook her head. "You don't know. You haven't seen what they do. I know. I've seen. And that's why we have to go."

"What could they do that's an-"

"Three."

Cam and I looked over at Terrence as he brought his fingers to his mouth, a loud whistle escaping through his lips. His group did the same thing, their whistles toppling over each others. My eyebrows were crinkled in confusion as Cam took no time to drag me to her car. She began rumbling through her purse for her keys.

More whistles sounded from... everywhere. It was like we were surrounded. A chorus of whistles then a lot of movement.

"Cam..." I trailed off, listening to all the unseen movement I know was heading our way. My heart began pounding. I looked at Cam. "Cam, get the keys!"

"There's no time," she cried out, throwing her bag back over her shoulder and grabbing my hand. "We need to go, c'mon!"

I didn't protest this time as I let her drag me through the streets and between houses, heading back for my side of town. We were running so fast, I couldn't count the amount of times I almost ran into dumpsters and trash cans. My ears were ringing so loud.

I looked behind me at one point, seeing a group of green not too far behind us. We sped up our pace, me screaming for Cam to run faster. We neared the end of an alleyway and I swear to God I had never hopped a fence so fast in my life.

Cam and I didn't stop running and neither did the Prophet$. It was all just a blur of colors and shapes as Cam and I sprinted, trying to put as much space between us and them as possible. We were close to the line when a loud gunshot rang out and I felt a sting in the back of my thigh. It felt as though I got hit with a BB gun at first, but as I kept running the pressure got more and more intense until I couldn't keep going.

I toppled to the ground. Cam was yanked back with me since her hand was still in mine. She crouched down next to me in panic. Our chests were heaving, trying to take in as much air as we could.

"Mona, we have to keep going!" she yelled, trying to pull me up.

"I-I can't," I stuttersd, trying to catch my breath. "My leg. I-It hurts."

She quickly looked down at my right thigh, seeing a gaping hole and oozing blood coming out. "Mona, you've been shot."

"I can't run," I shook my head. I hated myself for putting us in this situation and not listening to Cam when she told us to leave. She didn't deserve to die because of me. It's why I looked up at her as she looked at the wound with worried eyes and said, "Go."

Her wide eyes flickered to me, had a look in them as if she couldn't believe what I was saying. "What?"

"Leave me. Get past the line. Go!"

She shook her head. "No fucking way. I'm not leaving you. I'd die here beside you in this trashed alley before leaving you by yourself."

"Cam, I can't let you-"

"Rule eight," she stated.

Unwritten Rule #8

Never leave or abandon your friends. They're the only thing that will get you through all of this shit.

"Come on, put your arm around me," she said, leaning down. I slid my arm around her shoulders and she pulled me up, grunts coming from us both. "Put your weight on me."

She snaked her arm around my waist before continuing the rest of our path, me hopping and limping at her side. We weren't going nearly as fast, the rumble of footsteps getting closer and closer.

"We won't make it," I breathed out. "We have to hide."

Cam looked around, exasperated before landing her eyes on a circular tunnel that led into the sewers. She spun us in that direction, rushing towards it. She set me down on the ground before tugging open the bars. She grabbed my hand, pulling me inside before stepping in and closing the bars behind her.

She pushed us further back into the shadows and not a second later the group of Prophet$ stopped in front a little ways away. We watched them quietly. "Are you sure we got her, man?"

"Yeah, I saw that bitch fall," he said.

"Where'd she go?" another asked.

"She couldn't have gotten far," one added.

"She might've cut in this alley," one of them pointed down the alleyway, the opposite way of the tunnel.

"Come on, let's go!" one ushered.

They all took off down the alley, leaving it completely quiet where we were. Cam and I sat in the tunnel, waiting and watching. After what seemed like forever, my leg now numb, Cam and I slowly came back out.

The sun was setting now, but we continued on our way back to the other side. We made it eventually. My leg was tingling by the time we approached a familiar street.

"OSCAR!" Cam began screaming.

"Cam, no," I mumbled. I could barely keep my eyes open. Black dots appeared and reappeared in my vision.

"Mona, we have to. He'll know what to do and he's closer than any hospital," she tried reasoning with me.

"OSCAR! OSCAR!" she continued screaming as we neared the house.

I could see all the guys and girls outside on the lawn, all of them standing and looking at Cam and I, concerned.

"SOMEONE HELP HER!" Cam begged.

"What the fuck happened?" Sad Eyes asked, running up to us.

"Prophet$. Sh-She was shot. She's bleeding," she stuttered, shaken up. "Where's Oscar?"

"Inside," he answered, reaching down and picking me up in his arms, carrying me bridal style to the house. "SPOOKY! GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!"

Not less than five seconds later Oscar was busting out of the house, gun in hand. When he saw me, he immediately put the gun down and ran up to us.

"Mona?" he yelled, grabbing my head in his hands as he looked me over, worriedly. He looked at Sad Eyes. "What happened?"

"Cam said Prophet$," he answered.

"She's been shot and I knew you could help," Cam confessed.

He nodded, understandingly. "Bring her inside. Mari, go into my bathroom and get the supplies. Julio, head to the store we're gonna need more gauze and alcohol."

Sad Eyes rushed me into the house, bringing me directly into Oscar's room and laying me on his bed. I could see Cam and Oscar enter behind him, but after their entrance everything became fuzzy. The black spots returned, this time taking over my entire vision as I succumbed to the nothingness.

✰ ✰ ✰

SOMETIME LATER

It was dark when I ventured back to a beginning state of consciousness for the first time. I was still in Oscar's bed and it was pitch black outside. A small lamp in the far corner of the room was the only light.

My eyes went to my leg to see it bandaged, a spot of blood seeping through. I couldn't feel anything in my thigh, but I felt a weight on my shoulder and looked over to see Zahra cuddled at my side, sleeping peacefully. I couldn't get any words out or move before everything blurred again and I passed out again.

✰ ✰ ✰

SOMETIME AFTER THAT

When I became conscious for the second time Zahra was gone. The sunset colors spilled in through the foiled windows. Although I was alone in the bed, I wasn't alone in the room. A large figure stood on the other side of the bed, going through the drawers.

"Oscar," I said, my voice scratchy and hoarse. I thought he wouldn't have heard me with how low I said it, but to my surprise he spun around to look at me.

When his eyes landed on me, seeing I was awake, he rushed to me, taking my hand in his. "You're awake. Do you know what day it is?"

His words were the last that I had heard before the black returned. But this time, almost as soon as it came, it left again and my eyes opened once more. I was in the same place - Oscar's room - but at a much earlier time. It was the same as present day, but different. The kind of difference that comes with time.

Five years earlier...

"Look who decided to wake up," Oscar laughed as he entered his room. He wore white tank with sweats and his socks. He immediately walked over to me, leaning over the bed to get a better look at me. "Do you know what day it is?"

I readjusted my head a bit to the left to use his shoulder as a block for the light, allowing me to stop squinting. I didn't give him an answer, just grunted in response. He laughed, now taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I think you went a bit too hard at the end of school party, mi amor," he said, a small smile on his lips.

"What time is it?" I grumbled, wiping at my eyes.

"Almost two."

I opened my arms. "Cuddle me."

"Don't gotta ask me twice."

Without another word he crawled in bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. I draped my arm over his stomach, letting my head lay on his chest. He planted a kiss on top of my head and I hummed in content.

"How bad was it?" I mumbled against his shirt.

"Not that bad. Had to stop you from dancing on the table, but other than that you were fine. Just laughed and wandered a lot, as usual," he shrugged. "I'm just worried for when you turn twenty-one and can buy alcohol freely with no one to sort you out rations."

I laughed, said, "Then, I'll promote dancing on tables to dancing on bars."

"We'll have to get you a little tracking necklace so we always know where you are," he laughed. "Without it you'd wander into the forest or some shit."

"I think the necklace we saw at that jewelry store in the mall the other day would do."

"I don't think the aquamarine diamond necklace imbedded in 14k white gold from Jared's has a tracker in it. Stop tryin' to pull one on me."

"You can't blame me for trying," I sighed. "Maybe I'll get you a tracker too for when you disappear in the middle of the night."

"Trust me, you don't want to know where I'm going."

"Of course, I do," I lifted my head to look at him. I met his brown eyes, setting a hand on his unshaven face. "I always want to know where you're going. So I can go, too."

He didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned forward and connected his lips to mine. I thought about how bad my breath probably smelled in that moment from the endless drinks and blunts last night and the heavy sleep probably wreaking havoc on his senses, but he kissed me anyways. As if it was the last thing on his mind, trying to keep his lips on mine for as long as he could.

When we parted, he placed his hand on the side of my face. "Voy adonde tú vas."

"You know I don't understand you," I pouted.

"I said I love you, Ramona Moore," he replied. "And I'd follow you wherever you go."

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he nodded a smile on his face.

"Even if I want to travel all the way to a place that doesn't exist, like..." I tried thinking of an imaginary place, looking up as I racked my brain, my eyes returning to his when I thought of it,  "like the edge of the world, and jump off?"

"We jumping off the edge of the world together, then," he took my hand that was resting on his chest and pressed a soft kiss to it. "We go together. Just us."

I smiled at him, so wide I was sure my dimples showed. A nod as I repeated, "We go together."

✰ ✰ ✰

APRIL 10, 2019
5:33 PM

Camari's Point of View

"What's happening to her?" Shay screeched, watching Ramona's sweaty and pale body on the bed.

Her eyes were open as she stared blankly at the ceiling. "We go together. We go together. We go together," she mumbled over and over again, her chest heaving up and down in fast successions.

Chris, Shay, Oscar, Sad Eyes and I all stood in Oscar's room as we watched Abuelita in her chair, bent over Ramona. Her glasses sat on her nose as she palmed Ramona's sweaty forehead. Of course, Ramona paid Abuelita's hand ( or no one in the room, for that fact) any attention as she continued to echo that same sentence.

"What's happening?" I yelled, fearful.

"She's in shock," Abuelita stated.

"We need to stop playing doctor," Chris' voice boomed throughout the room. His voice was loud and a bit terrifying, but from the tone in the voice I could tell he was just as scared as everyone. "She needs to go to an actual hospital like I said fucking yesterday."

"I agree," Abuelita nodded, standing up from the bed. She turned to us. "One of you, call an ambulance. In the meantime, we need to elevate her feet. Sad Eyes, bring in all the pillows you can find."

Sad Eyes nodded, rushing off to find what she ordered.

"I'll call the ambulance," Chris said, already dialing the number as he exited the room.

"Cam, take her pulse. Shay, come with me," Abuelita said. I nodded, quickly taking Abuelita's previous seat and grabbing her wrist as I applied two fingers to the artery.

Abuelita began ushering Shay out of the room, but Shay stopped her. "What are we doing?"

"Getting you out of here," Abuelita said. "You don't need to see this."

With that she pushed Shay out of the room, disregarding her protests. I sat, taking her pulse and counting in my head to thirty.

"We go together. We go together. We go together. We go together," Ramona kept repeating, her dark eyes still on the plain ceiling.

I looked behind me at Oscar, his gaze completely concentrated on Ramona. His eyes looked pained, his expression reading something that wasn't just fear. It was mixed with something else.

"I got pillows," Sad Eyes announced, running back into the room as soon as I reached thirty.

"Put them under her feet, make sure her legs stay elevated," I said. "Oh my God, her pulse is reading one-thirty."

"Is that good?" Sad Eyes asked.

"Does that sound like it's good?" I snapped.

"Listen, Cam," Sad Eyes walked over to me. "I know you're scared. But she's going to be okay. Mona's the most rock solid girl I know. She's gonna get through this."

"How can you say that? Do you see her?!" I pointed down at Mona.

"We go together. We go together. We go together."

I looked over at Oscar, who now appeared to have tears in his eyes. He stood in the same place, seemingly frozen or trapped by something, as he watched Mona struggle to hang on. A tear slipped from his eye down to his cheek when Chris barged in.

"The paramedics are on their way!" he announced. "They say they'll be here in ten minutes."

I looked back at Mona. "We go together. We go together. We go together."

Tears welled in my eyes before dripping down.

Please fucking hurry.

∰

Translations:

Voy adonde tú vas | I go where you go

-----

the amount of shit that happened this chapter.... my god

but i'm slow at updates so i figured i'd give u all a treat. plus, i've been reconstructing the outline bc i realized i don't want to write all the fucking filler chapters i planned before act five. so upcoming chapters will have a lot going on in them which i dont think u guys will mind u drama fiends

smh poor mona really on the brink of death. lets pray she pulls thru :(

ramona when any spanish is spoken:

ramona: nah, we finna stay here and fight! fuck that running shit
prophet$: *start whistling*
ramona:

ramona: we go together. we go together. we go together. we go together. we go together. we go together.
everyone:

ruby when ramona isnt paying attention the entire time & then says she doesnt want gift baskets: