- for the men witho̶̶u̶̶t̶ honor.

✰ ✰ ✰

JANUARY 1, 2019
11:24 PM

"How many fingers am I holding up?" I asked, holding up every finger on my right hand.

"I told you I'm wearing contacts, Ramona," Madeline said, sitting behind her desk, completely unentertained with my company.

"Sounds like something who can't see how many fingers I'm holding up would say," I replied, suspiciously.

"Five," she sighed, "You're holding up five fingers."

"Okay. What about now?" I asked, putting two fingers down.

"Three."

"And now?"

"Eight."

"Okay," I shrugged, satisfied. "Maybe you are wearing contacts."

"It also helps you're only sitting five feet away from me," she added.

"Mm, possibly."

Madeline rolled her eyes playfully before returning back to the task I annoyingly interrupted her from completing. A small smile sat on my lips as I pulled my phone out of my pocket and began scrolling through my Instagram.

My scrolling was cut short when I felt like I was being watched. I looked over at the glass window to see three other male agents in nice suits standing in the hallway, the one in the middle holding up a cellphone as they all looked from the screen to me, snickering.

I could feel the anger rise through my body and my face was blazing hot. "What the fuck are you looking at?!"

They all jumped, including Madeline at the desk who I accidentally startled. The three grown men scrambled away, back to their offices I was guessing.

"What happened?" Madeline asked, still slightly shaken up by my outburst.

"My sex tape happened," I replied, angrily.

Her features instantly turned softer as she looked at me with pitiful. "Don't. Please, don't," I shook my head before she could even start a long, useless spiel about how she couldn't imagine what it's like to be me and to look on the bright side.

Chris' door flew open and he ran out, looking around frantically. His eyes set on me and he looked between Madeline and I. "What is going on?"

"Nicolette needs to fire some people is what," I grumbled. "It's eleven thirty."

I grabbed my bag before pushing past him into his office, not even bothering to make sure he was ready for me. I didn't want to be in a room the entire world could stare at me in like I was apart of some petting zoo anymore.

He walked in behind me, shutting the door and sitting back down at his desk. "Ramona, what happened?"

"My ex leaked our sex tape and now the entire world knows what I look like naked," I answered, rhetorically.

"I meant out there."

I ignored his clarification as I complained. "And not even the best one! Like if you're gonna release a sex tape, release the one with handcuffs, blindfolds and multiple orgasms! Not the one filled with the vanilla sex!"

"Wouldn't that just make it worse?"

"They've already seen me naked, I don't see how it could get worse. Not when Twitter is calling you Missionary Moore," I expressed, thinking back at all the comments when the video first came out. I began tearing up just thinking about it. "I am anything but vanilla! I can be freaky! I am freaky!"

Oscar and I made eight tapes total and he chose to release the first one we ever made when we were trying to be all cute and lovey and shit? Got me out here looking like a housewife from the fifties. I'm gonna have that cholo's bald head for this.

"Okay," Chris dragged out, awkwardly. "Well, I'm gonna steer your away from that cliff you're headed towards and point you in the direction where the solution to your... nickname problem lies."

I sighed, leaning back in my seat defeated. "I don't suppose you have the rest of the tapes?"

"Definitely not," he answered, quickly and I groaned. "But what if I told you you could make another, better tape?"

My head snapped back up quickly as I went wide eyed. "Did you sign me up for porn?!"

"No! Ramona, Jesus, no!" Chris defended, vehemently, entirely grossed out at the idea. Then he paused, thinking about it. "Well, kind of."

"Chris, what the fuck!"

"Not a porno!" he assured me, "A movie! An R rated movie, though."

"You got me a movie role?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes," he nodded. "I figured you might as well use this newfound sexual light on you for some good. Netflix just greenlighted a film with a promiscuous character that they think you have the perfect face and aura for."

"What's it about?" I asked, my interest peaked.

"They haven't told me much except it's about a girl who runs away from her overbearing parents and finds herself becoming the star of strip club hundreds of miles away," he explained. "They want you to go home and send in tapes of you reading off of these sides," he pulled a small packet of his desk and handed it to me.

I leaned and grabbed it from him, seeing it was apart of the script. I read the title page. Where the Wild Things Go.

"If they like what they see, the role is yours, no question," he added. "You'd get paid eleven million, but I bet if you're good and if the movie makes more money than they're estimating, which I'm sure with your face in it, it will, we can negotiate and get you more money."

"You're joking," I shook my head.

"The only jokes I make are Dad jokes and you know that."

I couldn't believe it. My entire life I wanted to be famous and never knew exactly what it was that was going to get me famous. Then I got famous by modeling and I was just so grateful for that that I didn't even think about venturing into other careers. I never pictured myself in a movie, nevertheless the star of one.

"Are you in?" Chris spoke, pulling me from my thoughts.

I tore my eyes away from the script and looked up at him. "I'm in," I said, not even thinking twice about it.

"Good," he smiled. "You go make the audition tapes and send them to me. I'll get them sent to the producers and let you know."

"Okay."

I stood up from the chair and told Chris goodbye before exiting his office. I ran past Madeline, giving her a wave as I ran into the hallway and all the way to the elevator. It was already on the floor, so the doors instantly opened and I hopped in, repeatedly pressing the 'close door' button.

When the doors did close, I began freaking out. As in screaming, jumping and dancing around the small space.

"Who got a movie deal?" I sung to myself, doing a lame dance. "This bitch!" I squealed, pointing to myself.

I was so caught up in my mini celebration that I didn't even notice the elevator stop and the doors slide open. I was twerking and spun around to see a group standing in the lobby, staring at me.

I straightened up and gave a shy smile. "Hello," I waved, awkwardly. They gave me awkward waves in return. I pursed my lips before pointing outside, "I'm gonna, uh, yeah."

I had no words, so I just pushed past them and exited the building, completely embarrassed. I was walking towards my bike when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see Zahra's picture. I clicked the green button and brought the phone to my ear.

"Why am I so embarrassing," I began, not even bothering to greet her as I approached my motorcycle and sat on the seat.

"There are many reasons, but I don't have time to tell you all of them right now," she said. "I called because I need to know where the nearest Goodwill is."

My eyebrows scrunched together at her words. "Goodwill? Why? Are you donating something?"

"The opposite, actually," she replied. "So where is it?"

"The nearest one I can think of is over by the metal recycling center," I answered. "You know the blue and white one we pass to go to Cam's mom's bakery?"

"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed. "Thanks, Mona. Byeee!"

"Wait! Guess what-"

I didn't even get the chance to finish my sentence before the line was dead. I sighed and stuck my phone back in my pocket before starting up my motorcycle and zooming out of the parking lot back towards Freeridge.

✰ ✰ ✰

JANUARY 1, 2019
1:56 PM

When I made it to Freeridge I planned on going straight to my house to record my audition tapes, but as I was passing the corner store I saw Cam's car parked outside so I decided to pull over. Just as I was hopping off my bike, she exited the store - a bag of chips in hand. Her eyes went wide as she saw me.

"Cam!" I exclaimed, a smile on my face as I approached her. "You'll never believe it."

"Believe what?" she questioned, glancing over her shoulder back into the store.

"Chris got me a movie role!"

Her eyes widened. "Are you being serious?"

I nodded. "Yes, well, it's basically mine. I just have to send in the audition tapes and yeah... I'm gonna be a movie star!" I began dance again and Cam laughed.

"I'm so happy for you, Mona. Really," she laughed, her eyes twinkling. She glanced behind her again. "You know, we should go to your house and talk more about it."

"Hells yeah," I agreed. "Just let me get a juice first. I'm so thirsty."

I went to walk inside the store, but Cam's hand wrapped around my arm, stopping me. I looked at her, confusedly.

"You don't wanna go in there. Long line," she said.

I peeked inside at the counter. I turned back to her. "I don't see a line."

"Oh, Señor Aguilera really is fast, huh?" she chuckled, awkwardly. "But you still don't wanna go in there."

"Yes, I do. I want juice," I replied, simply. I turned to the door again, but she pulled me back once more.

"You have juice at home!" Cam argued.

I looked at her like she was crazy. I was starting to think she was. "Did you have a kid I don't know about because you're acting very mother-ish right now," I crossed my arms, "And I don't have juice at home. Zahra's thirsty ass drunk the last of it this morning, so if you don't mind."

I went for the door again, this time faster so Cam didn't have the chance to pull me back. I threw the door open and ran in, Cam right behind me. "Mona, we really should go!"

"I've been to this place a bajillion times, Cam. Why can't I come in here now?" I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to look back as I kept walking. I passed the counter and waved at the owner. "Hola Señor Aguilera!"

He waved back at me, smiling as I rounded the corner towards the fridges where the drinks were. However, as soon as I turned the corner I stopped in my tracks, coming face to back with Oscar, his broad shoulders and bald head instantly recognizable. He was hunched over Ruby threateningly, but I guess my voice finally caught up with him because he spun around, coming face to face with me for the first time in over a month.

He looked better than the last time I saw him, that was for sure.

His mean demeanor quickly faded away as his body relaxed and his features softened. A small appeared on his lips as he spoke. "Mona," he breathed, his brown eyes beginning to gleam. "I-I've been calling you. Why you ain't been picking up."

I balled my fists and attempted to swallow my anger.

How could he ask me something like that after all he did to me? To my mother?

I didn't want to blow up at him. This is why I wanted to wait to confront him. I hoped with enough time I wouldn't want to kill him upon first sight, but seeing him now, I knew no matter how long I waited whether it was ten months or ten years I was still going to want to rip his head off as soon as I saw him. No amount of time was enough to conceal my anger.

However, I did want to still try my best to not lash out immediately.

"I was busy," I got out through gritted teeth. "Doing things with my life. Making something of myself. Well, all that I could make of myself in this last month given the circumstances."

Ruby and Cam watched helplessly from the sidelines, waiting for the fuse to inevitably blow.

"You, um," he cleared his throat, "you look good."

"One of us has to," I shot back. It was a lie. He looked so good, but I couldn't tell his bitchass that. "I like your earrings," I nodded to the glistening pieces of rock in his ear. "Is that what you used the money from the tape to buy?"

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What?"

"You sold it to those tabloids to leak for how much? A few grand? And went and bought some diamond earrings with the money?" I clarified.

"I didn't leak shit, Mona."

"I think you're lying," I said. I could myself began to shake as I got angrier and angrier. "That's all you do is lie."

"I'm not lying about this," he defended himself. He stepped towards me, reaching out, but I stepped back. I could tell it hurt him, but I didn't care. "I'm not lying, Ramona. I'm not. I didn't give anyone that tape."

"Well, you're the only one who had them!" I yelled. "I knew I should've taken them with me when you kicked me out all those years ago."

"I lied about your Moms, I know that. And I'm not making the same mistake again," he insisted, looking at me. "I didn't leak that video to nobody. I didn't sell it to those people. I got home that night after you turned me away and I just kept drinking. Then Sad Eyes called me and told me it was out everywhere. I didn't believe him, but then I got on my phone and saw it with my own eyes. I ran to the room and went where I kept the tapes and that one was gone. I didn't do it. Please, believe me."

"If you didn't leak it then who did?" I asked, still not believing him.

"I don't know," he answered.

"You never seem to know anything."

"Please, Ramona," he begged. "I've been calling you all this time trying to tell you. I even went to your house, but you're never there. At least, that's what your little sister and aunt tell me."

"You went to my fucking house?" I questioned. "I told you to stay away from my family!"

"I had to tell you! I need you to know it wasn't me!"

"You wanna know what I know?" I asked. "I know you're a lying and manipulative piece of shit! I'm supposed to believe you after you murdered my mom? After you threw your own brother out? How am I supposed to believe a man who does those things? How am I supposed to believe a man without honor?"

"Mona, pleas-"

"Just leave me and my family alone," I shook my head. "If I hear you coming around them again, I'll be getting a matching tear drop just like yours."

I turned around and pushed past Cam as I exited the store. She ran after me and caught me at my bike.

"Mona, are you okay?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "But I don't have time to dwell on it. I need to get these auditions done. Meet me at my house?"

She nodded. "Okay."

✰ ✰ ✰

JANUARY 1, 2019
3:34 PM

"Shit, no, start over," I said for what seemed like the twentieth time.

"That was good!" Cam swore.

"I didn't like the way I said the line," I whined.

I was standing in front of my closet as Cam video taped me on my phone. Chris texted me and said it didn't have to be extravagant, that a video phone video would do and since my phone was the only camera I had, I went with it.

I shook my hands and body, trying to get rid of the nerves. "Last time. I promise."

"You said that three times ago."

"I promise!"

She groaned and sighed. "Fine. You ready?"

I took a breath and sobered myself. I nodded. "Ready."

She pressed the button on my phone and yelled 'Action' (even though I told her it wasn't necessary after the first time she did it).

I went through my lines that I had surprisingly learned in the thirty minutes of studying the pages. It wasn't as hard as I thought and before I knew it Cam was screaming 'Cuuut!' at me. She stopped the video. "Please tell my you liked that one because my arms are getting tired."

"Let me see!"

I ran over and she played the video for me. I actually liked it and decided to send it to Chris, who replied quickly saying he sent it to the producers. I gave myself a mental pat on the back and thanked Cam for her arms.

We spent the rest of the evening at my house, talking to each other and scrolling on our phones, occasionally showing each other something funny. Shay came home a little after five and made us food. I told her the news and she practically passed out. Then, because she practically passed out we made her go lay down in her room.

I hadn't heard from RaRa since the morning when she called, but I figured she was with her friends having a good time and I didn't want to be that sister who didn't give her space, so I let it go.

Currently, Cam and I were back in my room, chilling on my bed as we texted in the groupchat.

bad bitches only🥂
iMessage
Tuesday, January 1
7:11 PM

kalia🎤
what are you whores doing?

tallula🛍
on the way to a runway show

kalia🎤
isn't it 4am over there?

tallula🛍
yes. i'm very tired

kalia🎤
sucks to be u.

tallula💞
woooooooooow

kalia🎤
what about dumb and dumber?
what are yall doing?

cam📷
hanging out with this loser

i think i'm pretty fun...

tallula🛍
you are!💞

kalia🎤
eh, sometimes.

🖕🏾🖕🏾

kalia🎤
u know damn well
the skin tone u picked
for that emoji too dark

cam📷
🙊

tallula🛍
and i oop...

fuck off!!!!
why am i friends
with u rude bitches??

kalia🎤
y'all hear sumn??
anyways, i just got out of the
studio & this album is 🔥🔥

cam📷
do i hear a grammy coming?

kalia🎤
you hear five, sis.

tallula🛍
we goin' ✈️ eight grammys

kalia🎤
damn right!

My phone ringing stopped me from replying to the groupchat. I saw Chris' name and immediately answered, bringing the phone to my ear. "Hey."

"The producers watched your audition and got back to me already," he began.

"And?" I dragged out.

"You're in!"

The world's most high pitched scream came out of my mouth, scaring Cam half to death as she looked at me like I lost a head. When I finally calmed down, I thanked Chris. "You're the best, oh my God!"

"It's no problem," he laughed. "But, there is one thing."

"What?"

"They just told me, but apparently you're gonna have a costar," he said. "Playing one of the strippers already at the club that befriends you."

"Who is playing her? Do you know?" I questioned.

Knocks on my front door echoed through the house and I sighed. "Hold on," I told him, getting up off the bed.

I walked out of my room and down the hall into the living room. I unlocked and pulled the door open, revealing Kalia standing on my porch in the night.

A giant smile sat on her face as she said two words, "Hey, costar."

------
this is so short guys im sorry but its more of a filler chapter before things get crazy

but hey, ramona is about to be a movie star so thats exciting right??

do y'all believe oscar? he's highkey a huge ass liar

ramona: and if u come near my family again i'll be getting a tear drop just like yours

everyone, even the souls in heaven and hell:

the groupchat: *comes at her emoji skin tone choices*
ramona: