We Are All On Drugs (Except For Robin, He's A Straightedge)

The months went by, and eventually Madhouse gained some success, thanks to Alan's promotion efforts and Chameleon and Double Vision becoming hits on alternative radio. Over time, the royalty checks came in, and Kyle, Robin, and I finally got some money from our hard work.

In November of 2003, Phantom Cat finally released Fire and Rain, after two delays and plenty of false promises. Although the reviews were mediocre, with many critics unfavorably comparing the album to their debut, Fire and Rain sold well, and it was incredibly popular among their fan base. It seemed as if Revelation Records might pull itself out of debt for once.

About a week after Fire and Rain came out, Alan asked us to meet him at Starbucks to talk about something. Robin was a little bit worried, but we met with him anyways. After I ordered a caramel macchiato, Kyle ordered a cappuccino, and Robin ordered some ridiculously bitter caffeinated concoction, the three of us found Alan and sat next to him. "Hi Alan," I said. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Alan said. "I was just thinking about a few ideas now that Revelation Records has some money to spend."

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Robin said. "You should sign some new artists. You guys can't have a record label with only two artists."

"Stop telling me how to run my own label," Alan said. "That being said, we're definitely signing more artists. I already have a few lined up. That's not what I need to talk to you about though."

"What do you need to talk to us about?" I asked.

"Phantom Cat was thinking of going on tour next summer, and we'd like to invite you to come with us," Alan said.

"That sounds great," I said. "We'd love to come."

"Yeah, it would be nice to get on the road again," Robin said.

"I don't know about that," Kyle said. "I'm not sure about being so far from home."

"It'll be okay, Kyle," I said. "I bet Abby will even come see our show in Seattle."

"She's Abby," Robin said. "Of course she'll come."

"I would like to see Abby again," Kyle said. "I haven't seen her in a while, but she's been calling me every night. I can't decide whether it's annoying or romantic."

"Anyways, we would love to open for Phantom Cat, Alan," I said.

"Fantastic," Alan said. "I'll let you know the details of the tour later, and I'll get Abby to help me book it. It's going to be so much fun!"

Alan kept his promise, and one month later, he let us know the tour dates. "Summer tour" turned out to be a rather deceiving term, as we would be touring from April to August, with a brief break before touring in Latin America and Europe for the remainder of the year. However, Alan reassured us that all of this would be worth it, as our fan base would grow immensely after the tour. I trusted him, but I still worried about the stress of touring for months on end. We hadn't toured outside of the west coast at all, and it was still a little strange to me that we had fans all across the world. I wasn't sure that Madhouse could survive touring for that long.

The first day of touring happened to be on Robin's twenty third birthday. "Happy birthday, Robin," I said as I met him in front of Phantom Cat's tour bus.

"Thanks Bianca," he said. "Where's Kyle?"

"He's coming," I said. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Kyle arrived, along with the members of Phantom Cat. I glanced at the other band, and although there were three familiar faces, I didn't recognize the man with dark skin and short, jet black hair. "Where's Gabe?" I asked.

"Gabe?" Alan said. "Who's Gabe?"

"Our old drummer," Miles answered.

"He left to join a cult," Byron said.

"That's not true," Miles said. "Gabe left to start a cult. He tried to get me to join it, but I wasn't interested. Apparently it involves Satanic sacrifice."

"Why do we always get the insane drummers?" Byron asked.

"I don't know." Miles said.

"Is this our opening band?" the new drummer asked, gesturing towards us.

"Yes, this is Madhouse," Alan said. "I should probably introduce everyone. This is Madhouse, everybody. Bianca's the lead singer and bassist, Robin's the guitarist, and Kyle's the drummer. I'll let the members of Phantom Cat introduce themselves, since I screwed up last time, and you all know me already."

"I'm Byron Shaw," Byron said. "I'm the bassist, and I'm into jazz and science fiction, so expect to see me either listening to Dizzy Gillespie or watching Doctor Who in between shows."

"I'm Miles Hawthorne," Miles said. "I'm the lead singer of Phantom Cat, contrary to what the tabloids would have you think, but I also play the piano and rhythm guitar. I'm not into jazz or science fiction, but I will put up with it anyways while attempting to get some sleep during this tour, but let's be real - that's never going to happen."

"I'm Isaac Becker," the new drummer said. "I'm the drummer, and I'm new here, so we'll see how all of this goes. I've never been on tour before."

"We haven't done any big tours yet either," I said.

"Come on, guys," Alan said. "Let's get in the tour bus."

Alan showed us around Phantom Cat's tour bus, and we had a few minutes to get situated before the bus left for the Forum, which was just outside of Los Angeles. Once we were in the bus, I took out a large, wrapped box and gave it to Robin. "I got this for your birthday," I said. "I hope you like it."

"I got you something too," Kyle said as he gave Robin a smaller box.

"Thank you so much," Robin said. He hugged Kyle and kissed me before opening Kyle's gift. "Thanks Kyle. I needed these," Robin said as he took out a pack of guitar picks.

"No problem," Kyle said.

Robin then unwrapped my gift and tried to keep himself from squealing. "I must be dreaming," he said. "You couldn't have gotten me this, Bianca."

"I did have a hard time figuring out which records you would like," I said.

"You did a great job," Robin said as he took out copies of London Calling, In Utero, and Reinventing Axl Rose, along with his brand new turntable. He immediately put the vinyl for London Calling on, and all of us sang along to the title track as the bus continued to drive towards the Forum. Even a few of the members of Phantom Cat joined in.

We arrived at the Forum, and over the next few hours, both Madhouse and Phantom Cat warmed up and got all of our equipment in place. Shortly before we were supposed to go on, the stadium began to fill up. "It's 7:00, Bianca," one of our technicians said when the stadium was almost full. "Whenever you're ready, you can go on."

Kyle and Robin went onstage with me, and I was immediately thrilled, yet terrified. There had to have been thousands of people in the audience that night, and although most of them were there to see Phantom Cat, some of them were there to see us too. I was glad to have such devoted fans, but I had no clue that there were so many of them.

I took a deep breath and started playing the bass riff for Never Leaving You. A few seconds later, Robin and Kyle joined in, and the whole crowd began to scream. It was a strange feeling, finally experiencing a taste of the fame that we had craved for so long, but I loved it.

Robin, Kyle, and I plowed through our setlist, not wanting to experiment too much in front of such a large crowd. However, the fans still seemed to enjoy it, and after we played Chameleon, Kyle and Robin were done for the night. I, on the other hand, still had to sing The Sound with Phantom Cat.

Phantom Cat went onstage after we were finished, and I realized that the roar of the crowd that we got was nothing compared to the response to Phantom Cat coming onstage. "How are we doing tonight, Los Angeles?" Alan shouted, and the band immediately launched into Lost, an obscure album track off of Fire and Rain. Even though the members of Phantom Cat couldn't have been much older than us, it was clear that they had much more experience playing big stadiums. They knew exactly what to do and when to do it, and I couldn't help but be a little bit jealous of their skills.

About halfway through the set, Alan said, "We're going to play a little song of ours from our new album, but we're going to need some help." I knew that was my cue to go onstage, so I walked on just as Alan said, "Give it up for Bianca Madison from Madhouse!" Everyone in the audience screamed just as Miles began to sing. I took Alan's microphone and interjected my vocals where it was necessary, but I was so nervous performing without Robin or Kyle to help me that I had to keep myself from running offstage halfway through the song. Thankfully, I made it, and I walked offstage after the song was finished.

"That was great, Bianca," Robin told me backstage while we waited for Phantom Cat to finish. Kyle, Robin, and I watched as Phantom Cat played another nine songs, ending with California Sun. Then, they returned backstage as the audience continued to cheer.

"Are you done yet?" I asked.

"Not quite," Alan, who was now wearing nothing but a pair of tight leather pants, explained. "We're doing Fire and Rain and House of Cards during the encore, and then we'll figure out what we're doing after the show."

"Aren't we going to San Francisco next?" Kyle asked, but Alan didn't answer him. Instead, Phantom Cat left to play their encore, while we continued to wait.

A few minutes later, they returned, and the fans began to leave. "What was your question?" Alan asked.

"I was just saying that I thought we were going to San Francisco next," Kyle said. "We'll head to the hotel tonight, and then drive to San Francisco tomorrow morning. I'm tired, and I think we could all use some sleep before the show tomorrow."

Byron laughed. "You don't know how this works, do you?" he said.

"We have to be at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium by noon tomorrow," Miles said. "There is no way that we'll get there in time if we leave tomorrow morning. We're all sleeping on the bus, but we have some time to kill before then, unless you guys want to go to bed early. Personally, I'm in favor of getting some sleep..."

"No way," Alan said. "We're hitting the clubs while we're here. Come on, let's go!"

"I don't know about that," I said. "I'm not really the type for clubbing."

"Me neither," Kyle said.

It was clear that our objections would make no difference in Alan's plans. While we started packing up our instruments, Alan mysteriously disappeared. "Where's Alan?" Isaac asked when we were about halfway done.

"I wouldn't be too worried," Byron said. "I bet he's in the club across the street."

After we finished, we checked inside the club, and of course, Alan was there. "Hey guys," he slurred when he saw us. The stench of alcohol already clung to him, and obnoxious electronic music blared on the dance floor. "Are you ready to party?"

"I call being the designated driver," Miles said.

"Miles, we have a tour bus," Byron said. "We don't need a designated driver."

"I still call it," Miles said. "I didn't want to be here in the first place."

"I'm not drinking either," Robin said.

"You all are lame," Alan said.

"No, I'm just a straightedge," Robin said.

"Still lame," Alan said. "Who's going to come party with me? I don't want to be alone out here."

"I'll come," I said, hoping that hanging out with Alan would cause some of his charisma and fame to brush off onto me.

"Great," he said. Alan immediately ran back onto the dance floor, and I followed him. The song changed to yet another annoying electronic tune. Alan started dancing wildly, and I tried to copy his dance moves, which was harder than it looked.

Meanwhile, Byron and Kyle ordered drinks from the bar, and a few minutes later, Byron shoved something into my hand. "You'll need this if you're hanging around Alan," he informed me. I wasn't normally much of an alcohol drinker, but I took a sip of the drink as Alan and I continued to dance together.

Later in the night, Alan took a handful of pills out of his pocket. "I've been waiting to try these," he said. "Do you want one?"

"What is it?" I asked.

"Who cares?" Alan said as he popped a pill into his mouth. "As long as it'll get me high, I'll try anything."

I cautiously took a pill and did the same. If this was how Phantom Cat was getting their onstage talents, then it was worth a try. It took a while for the effects of the drug to kick in, but when they did, it was insane. I don't remember too much of what happened that night, but I remember seeing the lights in the club flashing even brighter, and I got a rush of excitement as I danced closer to Alan.

I remember that I never wanted the night to end.

Around three o'clock, Miles, who had certainly had a few drinks despite being the designated driver, insisted that we should leave. He attempted to gather us by the door, and as I looked around, I saw that only Robin was still sober.

"I don't want to leave!" Alan whined.

"We have a show tomorrow," Miles said. "If we don't get on the road, we're never going to get there in time. Let's go."

By that point, I was beginning to feel a bit sick, so I didn't mind returning to the tour bus. I went to bed as soon as I got on the bus, along with everyone else except for Alan, who wouldn't stop talking to himself for another hour after the rest of us fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up with a massive hangover. Despite the fact that I wasn't feeling all that great, I found that Kyle was doing even worse. "I wish we just stayed home," he mumbled as he stared out the window.

"It's okay," I said. "We're going to make it through this tour, and we don't have to go clubbing with Alan tonight. I just wanted to give it a try."

Robin, meanwhile, was listening to Baby, I'm An Anarchist on his new turntable. "I love you, Bianca, but let's please never do that again," he said to me before returning to singing along with Against Me!.

That night, we played in San Francisco, with Miles' younger sister and Byron's parents screaming along with the rest of the fans. The show itself wasn't terribly exciting, and after the concert, the rest of us again followed Alan to another club, got unbelievably wasted, and then went to our next destination. Portland was the same as well. It seemed as if life on the road was a never ending cycle of drugs and sleep deprivation.

In Seattle, Abby had a front row seat for our concert, along with my parents, Robin's family, and Kyle's parents. Although it was great to see her, I didn't look forward to telling her how miserable we had been on tour so far. We had been on the road for less than a week, and already Kyle was homesick and I had spent far too much time clubbing with Alan. Still, I sang my heart out during When It Rains Every Day, knowing that was Abby's favorite Madhouse song.

After the show, Abby met us backstage. She frantically told us how wonderful the concert was, and about her plans to move to Los Angeles after the tour was over. "I'm so proud of you all," Abby said, hugging Robin and I before giving Kyle a kiss. "Look how far you've come!"

Sometimes I still wonder what she had to be so proud of.