Rock 'n Roll Is Dead

The second to last stop of our brief tour with Phantom Cat was in New York City. The show itself went normally, and the meet and greet was chaotic as usual. After the show, all of us returned to the hotel. Alan turned on the TV and watched some stupid reality show while I searched through my suitcase to find my headphones.

A few minutes later, I found my headphones, but when I plugged them into my computer and tried to listen to Santigold, the sound wouldn't come through on one side. I tried to adjust the headphones, but nothing would work. It was clear that I would need to buy new headphones.

I told Alan that I was going to the record store down the street to see if they had anything, but he wasn't paying attention. I left the hotel anyways, and walked for a while before finding the record store.

When I entered the store, I realized that I hadn't been in a record store since Robin broke up with me. I never saw the point in buying outdated technology, no matter how many times Robin insisted that music sounded better on vinyl.

Despite my apathy towards records, I searched around the store, and eventually found a pair of headphones that would suit my purposes. Next to the headphones, I spotted a small rack of CDs. On that rack, one CD caught my eye.

The album cover was quite simple. It was a photograph of a red Stratocaster smashed into pieces and scattered across a carpeted floor, with the words "Rock 'n Roll Is Dead" scrawled over the the picture. I looked closer, and saw that "The Wallbangers" was written in the bottom left corner of the cover. I read the tracklist and then took a look at the album cover one more time before deciding to purchase the album.

The man at the cash register grinned as I checked out. "I don't know too many other people who listen to The Wallbangers," he said. "Did you see them when they played here last year?"

"I'm not from here," I said.

"Have you ever seen them live?" the man asked.

"Sort of. I saw Madhouse live before Robin left," I said, which was technically true.

"Robin Stanley is easily one of punk's best guitarists," the man said. "He's gotten even better after he left Madhouse. The Wallbangers are definitely best live, so you should see them if you ever get the chance. Anyways, enjoy your CD!"

"Thanks," I said. I took the Wallbangers CD and my headphones and returned to the hotel. I ran up the stairs and into my hotel room, and while Alan kept watching TV, I took out my laptop and put Rock 'n Roll Is Dead in.

As I waited for my computer to turn on, I read the liner notes of the album.

Dear Listener,

Thank you so much for purchasing a copy of our new album Rock 'n Roll Is Dead! If you are reading this, that means that you must have purchased a CD of our album, which means that you are either unaware of the existence of vinyl or you're my ex-girlfriend. Either way, you need to buy a second copy of this record on vinyl, because we all know that vinyls are exponentially better.

If you haven't been stalking me on Twitter, then you're probably wondering what's up with the cover. A few months ago, I was watching the news when Donald Trump said something wholly and unbelievably moronic. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it made me angry enough to grab my old Stratocaster, which I had recently replaced, and smash it against the floor. I then took out my phone, took a picture of the destroyed guitar, and posted it on Twitter with the caption "This is what Donald Trump made me do." My fans responded almost immediately, with plenty of political comments and eulogies for my guitar, but my favorite comment was a suggestion that I should use the photo as the cover for Rock 'n Roll Is Dead. I took them up on the idea, and now I have a picture of a destroyed guitar as the cover of the new Wallbangers record!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy Rock 'n Roll Is Dead and for the last time: BUY THIS RECORD ON VINYL!

Love,

Robin Stanley

By the time I was done reading, my computer had turned on, and Dischord, the purposely misspelled first track of the album, began to play. It was, as I expected, a loud, angry punk song with intense guitars and hard-hitting drums. It wasn't the sort of music that I normally listened to, but I could see the appeal. In fact, I enjoyed seeing what Robin was up to.

The next several songs were similar to the first. They had different tunes and riffs, but the style was the same. There was something beautiful about The Wallbangers though. Beneath the walls of guitars, Robin had created finely crafted compositions that showed off his band's skill and his own knack for coming up with hooks. I was actually quite impressed with Rock 'n Roll Is Dead.

The album continued on, and Robin sang about everything from the music industry to gender dysphoria to another one of his ex-girlfriends. As I listened to the eighth track, Dreaming of You, I heard him mention a night of baking cookies. I thought back to a night eleven years earlier, and I wondered if the song might be about me. Don't be silly, I thought to myself. Robin's moved on. He can't possibly still be writing songs about you.

Before I knew it, the song was over and another one began to play. Mistakes was another fast punk song, and when it was done, the last track played. The final song was called Make America Great Britain Again. As implied by the title, it mostly consisted of Robin bashing Donald Trump and sarcastically expressing his desire for America to become a British colony again. I could certainly relate to Robin's beliefs in that song, and I couldn't help but remember all of the times we had debated late into the night about political issues. We didn't always agree, but that only made it more fun.

I have to admit that I was a little bit disappointed when the last chord of the album played. Rock 'n Roll Is Dead was over just a little bit too quickly. I was tempted to replay the whole album again, but instead, I took out my phone and texted someone that I hadn't talked to in a long time.

Robin and I hadn't contacted each other in over a year, and even when we were in contact, it was nothing more than polite messages, usually wishing each other a happy holidays or something like that. Nevertheless, I still felt compelled to tell Robin about how much I had enjoyed Rock 'n Roll Is Dead. "Hey, I listened to your new album," I texted. "It was amazing!"

To my surprise, Robin sent me a quick reply. "Did you listen to it on vinyl?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes and texted him back. "No, although I did see your letter in the liner notes," I wrote.

The rest of the conversation went something like this.

Robin: Someday, you'll see why vinyls are better. Anyways, what's up?

Me: Not much. I'm on tour with Phantom Cat again.

Robin: Again? Did you learn nothing from the Fire and Rain Tour?

Me: Alan's gotten a lot better, and it's just a six date tour. We're just trying out some new songs.

Robin: I guess that's okay then. Shorter tours are always more fun.

Me: What's up with you?

Robin: Chilling out and eating too much at Pike Place Market to celebrate Rock 'n Roll Is Dead's release. I invited the other band members, but they didn't want to come.

Me: That's too bad :(

Robin: Usually they're better than this, but I'm having a good time anyways. I'm also going to an anti-Trump rally tomorrow.

Me: I'm glad, but then again, I don't think it's possible to not have fun at Pike Place. Also, you're actually going to a protest that might have an impact on something! I'm impressed, Robin. This is a huge improvement from when you started that three-person protest in front of the school.

Robin: No kidding. I'm having a great time right now, and yes, this is an improvement over my teenage years.

Me: Awesome.

Robin: Are you going to Alan's New Year's Eve party?

Me: Yes. Are you?

Robin: I'm going, and I'm so happy I'll have someone else I know other than Abby and Kyle. They're great, but I don't know anyone else other than you three.

Me: What about Alan?

Robin: I haven't talked to him at all since I left Revelation Records.

Me: You still know him.

Robin: Knowing Alan, he's probably forgotten who I am by now. Are you still dating him?

Me: Yeah, but our relationship's kind of weird now. Did you hear about what happened at Lollapalooza?

Robin: I saw pictures on Twitter.

Me: I wasn't exactly happy with Alan after that.

Robin: As you should be. Miles looked kind of uncomfortable in all of the pictures I saw.

Me: I talked to him about that. Alan took me to Hawaii after I talked to him, but that still hasn't completely made up for it.

Robin: I don't know if anything could make up for that. I'm not sure if I could ever forgive my girlfriend if she did something like that.

Me: Are you dating anyone right now?

Robin: I'm single at the moment.

Me: Sorry for asking.

Robin: There's no need to apologize. It doesn't have anything to do with you.

Me: It's getting kind of late here, and I should go to bed. I just wanted to tell you that your album was excellent. You're a fantastic songwriter Robin, and hopefully, we'll get to see each other soon.

Robin: See you soon Bianca!

I turned off my phone and put it away after that. Alan had already fallen asleep, despite the fact that the TV was still on, so I turned both the TV and the lights off and snuggled into bed with him. However, my mind kept going back to Robin and the New Year's Eve party. The party was only a few months away, and I would finally see Robin again after years apart. In a way, I was looking forward to the reunion, but I couldn't ignore Alan either. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt rather conflicted, but the party was still a while away. I could wait a little longer before worrying too much about Robin.