Advertising Is The Answer To Everything

Two weeks after Alan and I returned from Hawaii, National Nightmare released their debut album, Catharsis Effect. Along with just about everyone else at Revelation Records, I listened to the album shortly before its release date, and I genuinely liked it. Cassidy and her bandmates had done a nice job with the album, but it wasn't the most commercial album in the world. I worried that Alan was right. What if Catharsis Effect didn't sell? What would Revelation Records do?

When National Nightmare released the album, Alan reminded me that I needed to post about it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and every other social media outlet available. "Marketing is everything, Bianca," he told me. "If we sell it well, Catharsis Effect will be successful, and then we get more money. Remember, some of the money from album sales will go to the record label."

I dutifully went on Twitter and wrote up a post. "Catharsis Effect by @NationalNightmare is easily one of my new favorite albums," I typed. "Please support their efforts and buy the album! #greatmusic #nationalnightmare #catharsiseffect #revelationrecords." I posted the comment, and then retweeted Alan's post about the album just for good measure. As I scrolled through the feed, I noticed that most of the posts were about Catharsis Effect. Alan, Miles, Byron, all of the touring members of Madhouse, Tasha O'Brien from Lesbian Anglerfish, and Rhett Barlow from Hogwash Assassins had all posted tweets similar to mine.

I copied and pasted my tweet into Facebook and Instagram, and then decided to call it a day. However, Abby called me later that day. "Hi Bianca!" she exclaimed. "How was Hawaii?"

"It was nice," I told her.

"That's great," Abby said. "Alan called me earlier today, and he told me to ask you if you wanted to be in the video for Lights Out."

"Why didn't he just ask me directly?" I asked.

"He was worried that you would say no," Abby said.

"When does he need me?" I asked.

"Next Thursday," Abby said.

I checked my calendar on my phone, and I was, in fact, available the next Thursday. "I can do it," I said.

"Great!" Abby said. "I'll tell Alan."

The next week, I met Alan at the beach, along with the members of National Nightmare, after having my makeup done at the Revelation Records building. "I don't get why we need a video," Cassidy commented.

"It's for advertising," Alan said. "Advertising is the answer to everything."

"I don't know about that," Cassidy said.

"Sure it is," Alan said. "Cassidy, how about you move forward a bit? We need to have room for the vampires to come in and attack you guys."

"This really doesn't make any sense," Cassidy said.

"I agree," one of her bandmates said.

"Just trust me," Alan said. "This is going to be brilliant."

I adjusted my vampire teeth and then asked, "When are we going to start filming?"

"Whenever you're ready," Alan said.

As it turned out, Alan and I had more screen time than any of the members of National Nightmare. Alan insisted that this was intentional, but I doubted that having Alan and I in the video more than the band that the music video was for was a good idea.

Later that week, Phantom Cat had another recording session, and I tagged along to ensure that Alan was contributing to the recording process. I wasn't sure how Phantom Cat was going to record, since they still didn't have a drummer, but Alan claimed that everything would be fine.

When we arrived at the studio, Miles was waiting for us. Byron had already told us that he was going to be late because he was taking Sara to one of her doctor's appointments and that we could start without him. Alan pressed the elevator button several times, but thankfully, the elevator arrived before he could start banging on the door. "Why don't we record Seeing Stars today?" Miles suggested as we entered the studio. "There aren't too many drums in that song."

"It has the simplest drum part out of all of the songs you've come up with so far," one of the record producers commented. "I'd recommend that you start with that, unless you're planning to bring a studio drummer in."

"Who's going to play the drums though?" Alan asked.

"I could do it," Miles said. "I did all of the drums on Battleground, in case you forgot."

"No, you can't do it," Alan said. "You're doing too much on this album already."

"Who will do it then?" Miles said. "You can't play the drums."

"Bianca can play," Alan said. "Right, Bianca?"

"I'm not a very good drummer," I said.

"That doesn't matter," Alan said. "Miles said it himself. It's an easy song."

"I suppose I'll give it a try," I said. Alan, Miles, and I set up the drum set, and Miles showed me how to play the song. As it turned out, the song wasn't all that easy, but eventually, I got the hang of it. "Why don't you just play this?" I asked Miles.

"Alan didn't want me to," Miles said. "Besides, you can do it now."

I practiced the song for a few more minutes, and then recorded the song. It took a few takes, but I figured it out. However, I knew that even if I screwed up, Phantom Cat could re-record the part after they found a new drummer.

Almost immediately after I finished recording, Byron knocked on the door, and Alan answered it. "Hey Byron," he said as he opened the door.

"I have some good news," Byron said.

"What is it?" Alan asked.

"Sara's having a boy!" Byron exclaimed. "I'm so excited to finally have a son. I just have to convince Sara to name him Enterprise."

"Please don't name your son Enterprise," Miles said.

"It's a really terrible name," I added.

"No, it's a great name," Byron argued.

"Do you want your child to be bullied in school?" I asked.

"No, but who would bully a child named Enterprise?" Byron asked.

"A lot of people," Alan said. "It's a silly name."

"I agree," Miles said.

"Can we talk about this later?" Byron asked. "We have work to do, and I am still naming my son Enterprise!"

Miles shook his head, but he said, "We're ready for you to record your bass part."

Byron warmed up, and then started recording his part. After he was done, Alan said, "I have an idea."

"What is it?" Byron asked.

"We have all of these songs, but we've never performed them live," Alan said. "We should play a few shows to test them out."

"That's a terrible idea," Miles said. "I don't want a repeat of Lollapalooza."

"It won't be a repeat of Lollapalooza," Alan said. "Madhouse will be with us."

"Wait, I never agreed to this," I said.

"Bianca, will you play a couple of shows with us?" Alan asked.

I hadn't played a show in a few months, so I decided that it was probably a good idea to take the offer, even if it was against my better judgment. "Sure," I said.

"I still don't like this idea," Miles said.

"We'll just do six shows in small venues, along with a meet and greet afterwards," Alan said. "It's not like we're going on a big tour or anything."

"Lollapalooza wasn't part of a big tour either," Miles said.

"Miles, it's not that big of a deal," Byron said. "Let's just play a few shows, and then we'll be done until after the album's done."

Miles sighed. "Fine," he said. "We're not doing any stage gay though."

"Deal," Alan said.

I looked at the clock, and saw that it was time for me to leave for an interview, so I said goodbye to the members of Phantom Cat and left. However, I ran into Cassidy outside of the studio. "Hi Cassidy," I said.

"Hi Bianca," Cassidy said. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I said. "Apparently I'm going on tour with Phantom Cat."

"So am I," Cassidy said. "Phantom Cat already offered National Nightmare a spot opening for them on the tour that they're going to take after they release their album."

"Good for you," I said. "Touring with Phantom Cat can be rough, but it's worth it. You'll get a lot of new fans that way."

"I hope so," Cassidy said. "Catharsis Effect hasn't been doing so well."

"I'm sure that the sales will get better," I said. "It's just a slow burning hit."

"I'm not worried about the sales," Cassidy said. "I just want people to like the album."

"People do like the album," I said. "I liked it."

"Thanks Bianca," Cassidy said.

I truly did hope that Catharsis Effect would do well, if only because I had a little bit of a soft spot for National Nightmare's purple-haired lead singer. Cassidy reminded me of myself when I was younger, only far cooler. I wanted to see her succeed, and hopefully, the video for Lights Out would help her do that. All I wanted was to see all of the Revelation Records bands stay afloat, and I could only hope that Alan's decisions would make that happen.