A Fork Stuck In The Road

As it turned out, Robin was not difficult to find, even among the massive crowd. Out of everyone at the party, he was the only one carrying a guitar and wearing an Against Me! T-shirt. It was convenient that my ex-boyfriend was so easily recognizable. "Hey Robin," I said when I found him.

"Hi Bianca," Robin said. "I'm so glad that my music is back on. Alan's music was getting on my nerves."

"Me too," I said. "Wasn't this our song?"

"I'm surprised you remembered that," Robin said, smiling. "It was our song. I played it just for you."

"Thanks Robin," I said. When was the last time Alan did something like that for me? I wondered. I couldn't remember.

"You're welcome," Robin said. All of a sudden, the music changed back to electric guitars and songs about politics. "I've missed you a lot, Bianca."

"I've missed you too," I said. "What have you been up to lately?"

"Not too much," Robin said. "I'm going on tour with The Wallbangers soon, and I went to another anti-Trump rally last week. I still can't believe that he won the election."

"Me neither," I said. "Then again, I should know by now not to put too much faith in America. We're honestly terrible."

"You're right, Bianca," Robin said. "What about you? How have you been?"

"I've been doing a lot of different things," I said. "I suppose I'm just procrastinating on my fifth album, but I've spent a lot of time with Phantom Cat lately."

"You should get going on that album," Robin said. "I really liked Mechanical Heart."

"Really?" I said. I had heard so much of Robin's punk that I had a hard time believing that he listened to the indie pop music that I made.

"Really," Robin said. "It wasn't my style, but it was a work of art, Bianca."

"Thanks Robin," I said, still surprised that Robin liked Mechanical Heart. "I thought Rock 'n Roll Is Dead was great too."

"Thank you," Robin said. "Are you still dating Alan?"

"Yes," I said. "Have you found a new girlfriend yet?"

"No," Robin said. "I know that I'll find someone eventually though. Do you love Alan?"

That was a good question, and I wasn't sure that I had a good answer. I thought about it for a while, and then told Robin something that I hadn't quite come to terms with myself. "I don't think so," I said. "I might have loved Alan at one point, but I can't forgive him for some of the things he's done to his bandmates. Besides, he's too obsessed with extending his fifteen minutes of fame to ever love me back."

"That's certainly true," Robin said. "If you don't love Alan, then why are you still with him?"

"I don't know," I said. "I think I just liked the idea of having a celebrity boyfriend."

"It's not worth it," Robin said. "Fame is kind of overrated. I should know. I was almost famous right after Florence was released."

"I've realized that it's not worth it," I said. "I'd rather have someone who cares about me than someone who's famous."

"Then why don't you break up with Alan?" Robin said.

"I don't know about that," I said. "He's never done anything that bad to me."

"You just said that you didn't love him," Robin said.

"He's difficult sometimes, but he's worth it," I said. Or is he? a voice in the back of my head said.

"Alan's not worth it," Robin said. "I worked with him for years, and I don't think he's the right person for you. He's too materialistic and fame-obsessed."

I sighed. "I've worked with him for years too, but you're probably right," I said. "Maybe I should break up with him. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it though."

"You can do it, Bianca," Robin said.

"Where is Alan, anyways?" I asked.

"He's on the other side of the dance floor," Robin said. "I'll even walk you over there. Think of me as the moral support in this endeavor."

"Alright, Robin," I said. I made my way across the dance floor until I spotted Alan dancing with none other than Taylor Swift. "Hi Alan," I said. "I see that you actually got Taylor Swift to come to your party."

"I did!" Alan exclaimed. "Isn't it great?" Almost immediately, he went back to dancing with Taylor.

"I need to talk to you, Alan," I said.

"Why?" Alan asked. "What is it?"

"I don't think our relationship is working," I said.

"You can't be serious," Alan said. "It's New Year's Eve. Can't we at least wait until next year to have this conversation?"

"I'd rather not," I said.

"You're ruining a perfectly good party," Alan complained. "Actually, Robin Stanley's kind of ruining this party too, but he usually ruins any party he attends."

"Don't insult Robin," I said.

"Why not?" Alan said. "He's ruining my party."

"This is exactly my problem with you," I said. "You always manage to make everything about yourself. It's like you think that the world revolves around you."

"It would be nice if it did," Alan noted.

"Well, it doesn't," I said. "Alan, you need to think about other people sometimes. I'm sick of watching you hurt everyone else you know to advance your own career."

"What do you have to be so mad about?" Alan asked. "It's not like I did anything to you."

"You were just dancing with another woman," I said.

"You're such a hypocrite," Alan said as he looked around for Taylor. "I saw you dancing with Robin earlier."

"That's different," I said. "I haven't seen him in years."

"That doesn't mean you have to dance with him!" Alan said.

"That's not the only thing that you've done to me," I said. "You recruited Jesse as Phantom Cat's drummer even though he was in Madhouse. You sent me up onstage at Lollapalooza without telling your bandmates or me. You've treated almost all of my friends badly."

"Again, can we worry about this next year?" Alan said. "I think I might need a few more drinks before I can talk about this."

"No, we need to do this now," I said.

"If you're going to ridicule me, then I might as well go find Taylor," Alan said. "At least she won't disparage me until after we've broken up."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about in the first place," I said. "I can't be in this relationship anymore, so I'm ending it."

"Wait, what?" Alan said. "You can't do this to me, Bianca. I need you."

"You don't need me, Alan," I said. "I'll see you later."

"Bianca, no!" Alan exclaimed as I walked away. As I crossed the dance floor one more time, I spotted Taylor Swift already writing her latest break up anthem. I ignored her and listened to the Bad Religion song blaring through Alan's house while I searched for Robin.

"Did you break up with Alan?" Robin asked me when I found him.

"Yes," I said. At that moment, I felt a strange feeling: relief. I was relieved that my relationship with Alan was finally over. Despite my worries, I was finally free after years of being with him, and it felt marvelous. Being single on New Year's Eve isn't so bad, I thought as I looked into Robin's eyes.

"What you going to do now that you're not with him anymore?" Robin asked.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I might just go home now. I've had enough excitement for one night."

"Please stay, Bianca," Robin said. "I think Abby and Kyle are still upstairs, and I don't want to be alone at this party. Besides, there can't be too much more excitement tonight."

"You seemed to be having a good time downstairs while we were playing Truth or Dare," I said.

"I was, but it got a lot better when you came," Robin said.

"I'd rather be down here than play Truth or Dare with Phantom Cat too," I said. "Miles, Byron, and Jesse are fine, but I think I'm going to avoid Alan for the rest of the night."

"So you are staying?" Robin said.

"I guess so," I said. Knowing Robin, he would make for interesting company throughout the night, but I didn't mind. I hadn't seen Robin in forever, and we desperately needed to catch up.

Robin smiled. "I'm glad," he said.

All of a sudden, the music changed again, this time to The Good Life by Weezer. "Pinkerton? Really?" I said. "AJ probably took over the music."

Robin shrugged. "It's okay," he said. "I don't hate this song."

I looked back out at the dance floor, and sure enough, Miles and AJ were back on the dance floor. "At least they're having a good time," I said.

"We could have a good time too," Robin said.

"How?" I asked.

"Come on out to Alan's pool," Robin said. "I have something to show you."