Sometimes I just wish for the end

Not death, but close.

I don't want to feel love anymore
I don't want to feel compassion
I don't want to feel hatred, or anger
I don't want to feel joy, or happiness
I don't want to feel sadness, or depression
I don't want to feel envy
I don't want to feel loss

I don't want to F⃟E⃟E⃟L⃟

I want to be indifferent.
Apathetic

If I were unable to feel, maybe then I could be who my parents want me to be.

A worker
A student
An adult

Someone who can stand on their own two feet

But,
These pesky emotions keep getting in my way

I want the end.
Not of life, no.
But of emotions, and all things that make me human.

Why can't I be that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The voices in my head
They scream louder, begging me to stop

They don't want to fade away; They ARE my emotions

I hesitate,
for just a moment

But then, the hesitation fades,
And I take a step forward into the voi-

I am yanked back.
Two hands clutch mine.

I whirl around, surprised.

And there,
Holding my hand,
Tears in their eyes

Are the ones that matter most,
To me

All at once, my emotions, so quiet and nearly gone, flood back into me

The two hands pull me back
One of fire, one of shadows

The fire fuels me
The shadows remind me

I know them
I know them
I
I KNOW them

And I just stand there, stunned by the waves of emotion crashing over me

They pull me back from the edge

They hug me, one scorching hot, the other a cool balm

They
They make me feel again

And I

Smile