Hermione stood at the edge of the Astronomy Tower, wondering if it would be easier to jump off and die than to face the repercussions of her actions.

She'd kissed Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy.

Kissed.

Him.

Her!

She'd done that!

So many months of work into fixing the troubled relationships between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and all because of Ron and his stupid mouth, she might have ruined it.

How was she supposed to explain to Malfoy that her actions hadn't been intended to hurt him or his reputation, but to prove Ron wrong in a way that wouldn't get her into trouble, in a way that wouldn't anger or irritate him enough to want to kill her for using him in the first place?

Even to her, that sounded ridiculous and long winded.

And why weren't the insects in her stomach dead yet? Stomach acid was supposed to be able to breakdown almost anything...why were the stupid critters still dancing inside her stomach? Was she sick?

What was Draco doing right now? Had he ordered a witch hunt for her? Was he too, contemplating jumping off a tower than face what was to come after her stupidity? Was he planning he easiest way to get rid of her and the evidence of it all?

The worst thing was...she'd wanted to do that...kiss him...for so long now. she'd wanted to kiss him for so long now...but this hadn't been the right way to do it. She shouldn't have let her pride be the push that she needed to be brave...but it was too late now.

Draco probably thought that she was a terrible person by now. He probably thought that she was just using him as a means to an end. He would hate her for sure now! Maybe jumping off the tower was the easiest way out of this mess after all?

"Hermione! There you are...get off the ledge before you lose balance and die!" Ginny yelped puling the brunette girl into the safety of steady ground. Hermione let herself be pulled away from the freedom of dying and leaving all the humiliation behind, and sat on the ground, crossing her legs and arms and staring at the dirty floor like it held all the answers to her life that she was looking for.

Ginny sighed and grimaced before seating herself beside the girl and watching her pouted face in amusement that she was finding quite hard to hide. When it came down to it, Hermione was the smartest of them all. She was clever and witty and fun, and though studious and strict at times, she was also the one person that had ensured the survival of both Harry and Ron during the past years.

But Hermione was also quite terrible with emotions and feelings. In all honesty, the girl was stupid on the matter really. Knowing her, Ginny thought to herself as she watched her friend stare at the floor, Hermione was so confused with her feelings right now, she'd probably assumed that she was sick or something.

"Are there people out for my blood?" Hermione whispered, her eyes focused on the ground.

Ginny glanced up in surprise and grinned, "who would be out for your blood? And why?" she asked, enjoying the frustration grow on her friend's face. Yes, she was Head Girl, and one of the smartest people in the school, but when it came down to it, Hermione was kind of cute too.

"Malfoy's fangirls or something! I'm sure there must be a hunt out to kill me, right?" Hermione asked forlornly, burying her face in her hands. Ginny tried to hide her smile, but failed miserably, and started laughing instead, holding her sides when Hermione looked at her like Ginny had betrayed her or something.

"Malfoy has fangirls?" she asked, loving the frustrated look on her friend's face.

Hermione scowled, "probably. He's attractive and smart and top of the class for his house. Is that the kind of thing that warrants fangirls?" she muttered, staring at the dusty floor filled with the footprints of hundreds of passers-by.

Ginny paused, wondering if Hermione had even realised that she'd just called Malfoy attractive, but it looked like she hadn't. Okay, that was interesting.

"Oh Hermione!"

"Ginny! It's not funny!"

"It was just a kiss! I'm sure no one wants to kill you because you kissed Malfoy! Besides, it's not like he pushed you away either, so it wasn't against his will either! Technically, you did nothing wrong!" She reasoned as Hermione bit her lip in deep thought, her eyebrows furrowed as she thought over her friend's words carefully.

"I suppose so...he didn't push me away." Hermione stated, before her eyes widened and she flushed deep red once more.

Ginny licked her lips, and took a deep breath before focusing carefully on the girl in front of her so that she couldn't miss anything. It was time that she clarified this once and for all. "Hermione, do you like Malfoy?" she asked seriously, waiting.

Hermione looked up in horror at her friend, her mouth hanging open in shock as she blinked so fast that to Ginny, it looked like Hermione had something stuck in her eye. "Wait-what?"

"Do you fancy Malfoy? Do you like him?" Ginny repeated, watching Hermione's face start resembling a tomato more and more.

Hermione scuttled back from Ginny, her fists clenched, "Ginny! I...you...Malfoy? I mean...huh...you think that I...um...romantic feelings...but that's...fancy is a bit.... I mean Malfoy isn't that...what?"

"I'll take that as a yes then. Huh! Who would have thought? Hermione Granger fancying Draco Malfoy of all people! No wonder you kissed him!" Ginny muttered, sighing as Hermione's lip trembled like she was about to cry, "don't look at me like that!"

Hermione didn't know what to say. It wasn't that she fancied him...he was...it's just that he was so kind. The more she'd gotten to know the boy behind the name and cold exterior, the more she'd gotten to understand who Draco really was, she hadn't been able to help but want to be near him. She didn't know when admiration had turned to romantic feelings, but it wasn't something she'd been willing to admit to herself until now.

Until she'd kissed him and hadn't wanted to stop. Until she'd kissed him and had forgotten all about proving Ron wrong and had been lost in her own little world.

How the hell did Ginny know? Could her best friend read people's minds now? Did Harry know too? Did everyone know?

Ginny raised an eyebrow, watching the mixture of emotion flitter across Hermione's face. The smartest witch of her age was wondering how to cover this all up and never talk about it, but there was no way that Ginny was going to let that happen.

"Hermione, it's okay to like someone you know. It's normal to develop feelings for others." She whispered, watching as Hermione flushed deeper red and hid her face.

Hermione felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest and wither away and die. The butterflies were still in her stomach, why weren't they dead yet? There surely wasn't enough air in there for them to survive!

"Hermione?"

"Ginny, you-you can't tell anyone! I mean...I don't even know if I like him...I mean...what if it's an anomaly with my biological clock or something? What if Ron tries to sacrifice me or something?"

Ginny hid her smile. So, it was true then. Hermione had a little crush on Draco Malfoy? How adorable! An anomaly with her biological clock...really? Harry had been right after all, who would have thought?

"Because you like a boy? Why would anyone want to sacrifice you for that?" Ginny watched Hermione play with a loose string on her skirt, her lips pulled into a pout of confusion, her brows furrowed in thought.

"Ron is stupid. And he...Malfoy doesn't like me like that. I don't want to talk about that. Did you do your charms essay?"

"That was your attempt at changing the topic? Seriously?"

Hermione groaned and turned her back to her friend, staring at the wall instead. Walls were nice. They didn't have feelings and emotions and butterflies in their stomachs. Walls didn't have stomachs at all. It must have been nice to be a wall.

"Hermione, if you're worried about his past-"

"There is nothing wrong with his past, Ginny. He made mistakes, but that doesn't make him a bad person. We all make mistakes; I'm not going to judge someone who had already apologized for his actions. He's not a bad person." Hermione cut in, needing her friend to know that something as trivial as that wasn't what was holding her back.

Ginny sighed, "then what's stopping you from admitting it? What are you so afraid of?"

Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I don't know. I don't know, Ginny! We're friends, and I like that we are friends. I don't know why I have insects in my stomach or why I'm having a heart attack at the thought of even looking at him now. I don't know why I'm happy when he's happy or sad when he's sad. I don't know why I want to be near him or why I'm always thinking about him. I don't know why it upsets me when he talks to other girls and I don't know...I don't understand these feelings I have and I don't know what to do about them. I don't want to ruin the friendship that I have. He...Draco is...I don't know."

Ginny gaped at her friends. The way she said that...it almost sounded like Hermione...no, surely not. Hermione wasn't the kind to fall in love with people like that. She was logical and reasonable and...

Ginny crawled to her knees and waddled over to hug her friend tightly, "Hermione, how long have you been feeling like this for?" she asked carefully, trying to comfort her friend and yet, find information at the same time.

Hermione pouted, "I don't know. Since the war ended? Ever since he apologised? Maybe I'm sick after all?" the smartest witch of her age made mental note to head to the infirmary as soon as possible to get a medical check-up.

Ginny was conflicted between wanting to smack some sense into the girl and wanting to smack the girl anyway. "I swear to Merlin, Hermione, you're so weird. But you're so cute. Only you would describe getting butterflies as having insects! If you like him so much, don't be scared to tell him!"

She had to go about this calmly. Until Hermione said the words herself, she couldn't say anything too abrupt. The last thing she wanted was Hermione to panic and run away or something.

Hermione broke out of the hug and gaped at her like she was mad. "Tell him? Tell him what? Don't be ridiculous! What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Your feelings maybe?" Ginny muttered, watching as Hermione stood up and brushed the dirt from her uniform. Did she...?

"Oh yeah, because that conversation is going to end well! Hello Malfoy, sorry I kissed you in front of the whole school earlier to prove Ron wrong. Now that no one is here, how about I kiss you because I love you? Yeah, that's going to work." Hermione rolled her eyes. She would be lucky if Malfoy didn't laugh directly in her face.

She glanced at Ginny and froze, wondering why her red-haired friend was staring at her like that. "Ginny? What's wrong? You look like you've seen someone swallow a sword." Hermione asked, poking her friend who was standing still, her blue eyes wide open in shock.

"Hermione. You just-"

"What? What did I do? Why are you looking at me like that?" Hermione took a step back from Ginny, cautious about the agape look that she was still sporting. She thought over her words, but nothing came to mind that would made Ginny act like that.

"Hermione you just said that...you love him? I thought you had a crush...but you love him?"

It took a second for the words to register in Hermione's mind, and a few more seconds for it make sense in accordance with what she herself had said earlier. Love? She...she'd said that...wait...no...she'd told Ginny that she...oh no...oh...no!

And then Hermione Granger covered her face once more and turned to face the wall.

The nice wall. The one that didn't have feelings or a heart that was jogging up a rocky hill.

Ginny gulped. Wow, of all the people to hear that from, she hadn't expected it to come from Hermione. Love...love wasn't a word that Hermione used easily. The girl had refused to admit to liking Ron for years, so for her to use the word love...Malfoy really had left an impression on her, huh?

Who would have thought?

"Hermione, you have to tell him."

Hermione took a deep breath and exhaled profoundly. Her heart refused to stop hammering and she felt like she could feel every beat of the muscle. Her face was flushed and her palms were sweating and she felt like she was going to be sick.

And, jumping off the tower was looking more and more appealing now.

No! No! She didn't like him. She didn't love him! There was an anomaly in her genetics that was making her act like a child and say things she didn't mean!

"Ginny, I can't do that." She whispered to her friend, turning to face the red-haired girl in fear.

Ginny stared at her friend and sighed. She was aware how hard it was to admit one's feelings to another. She'd been in love with Harry Potter for almost all her life before they'd gotten together, and even now, she struggled to express herself easily.

But if she didn't push Hermione, the girl would keep it to herself forever. "Look, usually I wouldn't push you to this, but I have a feeling that the both of you need to talk this out. I think he...there is nothing wrong with telling someone that you have feelings for them, Hermione. I promise that it will be okay!"

Hermione made a face at her. Easy for her to say. She'd fallen for Harry, who was sweet and kind and awkward. Compared to that, telling Draco...

Hermione bit her lip.

Ginny glowered at her, "Hermione, if you don't, I will. And I'm going to make it sound terrible! There is no way that I'm going to allow you to keep this to yourself! Be brave! You are a Gryffindor!"

Hermione pulled at her tie, feeling like the walls of the tower were moving in on her. But, Ginny was right. She had to be brave. She'd faced Death Eaters and Voldemort, surely facing her feelings couldn't be scarier than that? But then, why was she so much more afraid now than she had been then?

"Hermione?"

"I don't want to lose the friendship we have in hopes of having more. I'd rather be friends and be just friends, than to admit that I have feelings and lose it all. What if I tell him and he feels nothing for me? Things are going to get awkward between us and we're going to stop being friends. I love talking to him, and I love being around him. I don't want to lose that in selfish hope that I can have that all the time! Ginny, I can't tell him!"

Ginny stared at her friend in wonder. How long had she been keeping these feelings inside herself? How long had she been telling herself that she couldn't? If Ron hadn't pushed her to the edge of her pride, would Hermione have ever done something so spontaneous in her life? Would she ever have admitted her feelings at all?

Apparently, her idiot brother did have a use after all.

Ginny took a dep breath, she needed to explain this to Hermione in a way that she would understand. If she loved the guy, there was no way that Ginny was going to let her keep those feelings hidden.

The war had been an eye opener. People died every day, and you lost people before you got to say goodbye. And all that left was feeling of guilt and regret. And she didn't want Hermione to ever go through those feelings.

"Hermione, if you don't tell him, you're going to live the rest of your life wondering what if. And that, that is so much worse! At least, if you tell him, and he doesn't feel the same way, you know in your heart that it wasn't meant to be. At least then you know and you can try to move on with your life! But if you don't say anything, every time he talks to another girl, or he mentions someone, every time he laughs or cries, every time he does anything without you, you're going to wonder and you're going to grow bitter. In the end, you'll fall out with him anyway, you'll stop talking to him, and you're going to stop loving being around him. And he won't know why because you wouldn't have told him. He won't know why his friend suddenly stopped talking to him, only you will, and by then, it will be too late."

Hermione let out a breath, and hugged herself. Even the idea of not talking to him, hurt. She talked to him every day. They practically lived together, they shared a common room. They did homework together and studied together.

To suddenly not be able to do that because she'd told him that she had feelings for him...

On the other hand, Ginny was right though. If she didn't tell him, and they continued to be just friends. If he eventually did start dating someone else, Hermione already knew that she was going to get jealous. And that jealously would turn to bitterness and the bitterness would drive a wedge between them and they would drift apart.

And she would always be left wondering what if...

And that hurt too.

"But..."

"Hermione. Just go talk to him."

.*.