SpongeBob: Here it is, Patrick. Now we've just got to convince Squidward to come back home. You got the apology cake? [Patrick picks up a cake that reads, 'Sorry.' He puts it back in his pants, revealing a giant cake-shaped bulge in them] We're ready!

Patrick: Ying! [SpongeBob pushes the button on the intercom]

Guard: Hello, can I help you?

Patrick: Can I get a large #1, extra size?

SpongeBob: But you just ate three orders of fried oyster skins. [Patrick opens his mouth, the fumes emerging from it. A foghorn sounds]

Patrick: I love... fried oyster skins. [cut to inside the control room, where the guard sees SpongeBob and Patrick on one of his monitors]

Guard: We're sorry, but your kind isn't allowed here. [a security guard walks up next to him] He's not leaving, Orville. [the fumes enter the room] You got your night stick ready? [the two smell] Fried oyster skins?! [the two collapse, the guard falling on a button opening the gate]

Patrick: I guess we've got to order inside. [meanwhile, a group of octopi are angrily chasing after a happy-go-lucky Squidward. He sucks the noses off of three houses whilst running by. SpongeBob and Patrick are walking by when they see Squidward run past them]

SpongeBob: Hey! That looked like Squidward! [the mob runs past them] That looked like Squidward also, in angry mob form! [Squidward has approached a dead end]

Policeman: Hold it right there, Mr. Tentacles!

Squidward: Stand back! I've got gardening tools! [the policeman hands him an envelope]

Policeman: Here! Just read this! [Squidward looks at it]

Squidward: What is it?

Policeman: A well thought out and organized list of complaints! [SpongeBob and Patrick walk by]

SpongeBob: Patrick, look! It's Squidward! [he runs up to the guy and hugs him, but he's a different octopus with eyebrows and mustache, and a shirt like Squidward's] Squidward! We finally found you!

Octopus: Get off me! I'm not Squidward! [pause]

Patrick: Are you Squidward now?

Squidward: Grievances! This town is a grievance! There should be a law against so many stuck-up tightwads living in one place! This city needs to be destroyed!... or at least painted a different color.

Policeman: FYI, you don't have to live here, you know! [Squidward, and the crowd, smile]

Squidward: Hey, you're right! [the crowd members' smiles fade] And I'm leaving ASAP! [meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to find Squidward]

SpongeBob: Are you Squidward?

Male Octopus: No. [he walks up to the croquet woman]

SpongeBob: Are you Squidward?

Squidette: No. [Patrick talks to a fire hydrant]

Patrick: Are you Squidward? [pause] That's OK, take your time.

~Colette 🤑