Squidward: [ switches the 'open' sign to 'closed'] Closing time. The happiest time of the day! [scene cuts to SpongeBob in the kitchen crying and sniffling]

SpongeBob: Closing time. [Sniffles] The saddest time of the day! [falls on the ground still crying] Huh? [he notices an old Patty under the grill] It's a Krabby Patty. [SpongeBob tries to pick it up but it's stuck to some gum] Eww... It's cold and hard. [takes the Patty out from under the grill] This could have rolled under there years ago. [pats it on the head] There, there, little one, your journey is almost over. [SpongeBob tosses the Patty in the trash. A siren goes off as a fishing line retrieves the patty]

Mr. Krabs: [runs in] What happened? [gasps then runs up to the trash can] Someone tried to throw away a patty! [takes it off the hook]

Pinch-o-matic: Pinch-o-matic has saved you 5.2 cents.

SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill.

Mr. Krabs: And tomorrow a customer will find it under his bun. [hands it to SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: But, it's old and cold. And so very full of mold.

Mr. Krabs: You're not to make another Patty until that one is sold. Understand?

Narrator: The next day.

SpongeBob: Order up, Squidward. [puts the tray with the old Patty in the burger on the window]

Squidward: [dryly] Hooray. [smells the Patty then flips the top bun off] Uh, SpongeBob, can I get one with less...fog?

SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' orders.

Squidward: Whatever. [he hands the tray to Gus] Here you are, sir. One Krabby Patty. [Gus sniffs it and does a lot of back-flips out the restaurant, screaming with disgust. Scene cuts to the Krusty crew standing by the door]

Mr. Krabs: I don't understand. We haven't had a customer in weeks. I wonder if it's the new placemats.

Squidward: What? Placemats? Have you lost your mind? It's that old Patty you keep trying to sell to everybody! It's gone bad.

Mr. Krabs: Gone bad? That's nonsense. Bring it here, SpongeBob. [picks up the cage with the Patty inside it] Uh, why is it in a cage?

SpongeBob: Because it growled at me. [Patty starts to growl and bark like some sort of dog. Squidward hides behind Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: You two would have never have lasted in the navy. Let's see how bad you are. [takes the Patty out of its cage but it still barks and growls in Mr. Krabs' face] No...no... [the Patty barks and growls some more] Stay... [throws a 'treat' into its mouth] Thatta girl! There, there. [He pats it gently] See? Good enough to eat. [about to eat it when an ambulance goes by] Oh, look, an ambulance. Now, then. [Takes a bite. Scene cuts to him, now green in color due to food poisoning, being rolled on a hospital bed] SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Make sure you wrap up that Patty. I'm not finished with it yet! [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs in a hospital bed]

Purple Doctorfish: Well, Mr. Krabs, you gave us quite the scare.

Mr. Krabs: So I'm gonna be ok, doc?

Purple Doctorfish: Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, let's just check your chart. Let's see here. Hmmm...oh, no! [starts to shake] Oh, no, this is terrible! [drops the clipboard]

Mr. Krabs: Everything ok, doc?

Purple Doctorfish: Don't touch me! [runs out screaming]

Mr. Krabs: That's not a good sign. [thunder roars as the room turns into green. The Flying Dutchman appears. Mr. Krabs pulls his covers over his head, showing he's scared.] Oh, no, it's the Flying Dutchman!

Flying Dutchman: Eugene Krabs, your time has come.

Mr. Krabs: I'm not Eugene Krabs, I'm, uhh, Harold. Harold, uhh... [looks at the flower vase next to him] Flower!

Flying Dutchman: Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong room. [flies out] Excuse me, nurse?

Nurse: Yes?

Flying Dutchman: I'm looking for Eugene Krabs.

Nurse: Oh, he's in that room right there.

Flying Dutchman: No, that's Harold Flower's room.

Nurse: [confused] Harold Flower? [Flying Dutchman goes back to Mr. Krabs in anger]

Flying Dutchman: So, Krabs, you thought you could fool the Flying Dutchman?

Mr. Krabs: What do you want from me?

Flying Dutchman: I'm here to escort you to the resting place of all bad undersea folk: Davy Jones' locker!

~Colette 🔥