Today, I had a friend tell me about how much he changed in the past 2-3 weeks; how he successfully managed to kill any trace of emotion left in him. He even listed a few, "you know, things like love, hate, curiosity, or even giving a damn about anyone." He told me how a lot of people noticed his sudden and complete shut-down, but only a few cared enough to ask.

I sat there hearing him out as he went on and on about it, and all I could muster up as a reply was a long heavy silence. He changed topics a while later, but my mind was stuck somewhere else along the lines of his former words. They echoed around the walls of my head over and over again, zoning me out.

It took me a while before it finally sank in. He was describing me, yet he never knew. But how was he supposed to know when the realization had only dawned on me now?

Somewhere along the way, I lost a piece of me. How, when or why were all questions that left me clueless.

I don't know. I don't remember.

Did I kill my them too? Or did they just decide to block me out instead? Did I bury them alive? Or did they just leave.. like everyone else did?

I don't know. I don't remember.

I am lost. Numb. Empty. Clueless.

And somehow that feels worse.