❛ Someone told me long ago there's a calm before the storm. I know, it's been coming for some time. ❜

SEASON 3, EPISODE 4
killer within

━━━━━━ day 309.

RICK HAD A group of them head down to the front gates to work on fortifying the main entrance so the walkers couldn't burst through. He hadn't been too keen on letting Bianca go after everything that had happened in the past day, but she hardly even listened when he tried to tell her to go inside. Instead, just walked past him with a dead expression on her face.

⠀⠀⠀"Alright, let's get the other cars in," Rick called to them, sweat beginning to bead at his forehead, and his skin reddened from the sun. "We'll park 'em in the west entry of the yard."

⠀⠀⠀"Good," Daryl sighed. "Our vehicles camped out there look like a giant vacancy sign."

⠀⠀⠀"After that, we need to load up these corpses so we can burn them," Rick continued to dull out the schedule, ignoring Daryl.

⠀⠀⠀"It's gonna be a long day," T-Dog sighed, shaking his head.

⠀⠀⠀"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Carol asked curiously as she looked around them with a frown. "We could use some help."

⠀⠀⠀"Up in the guard tower," Daryl said bluntly.

⠀⠀⠀"Guard tower?" Rick asked in confusion, narrowing his eyes as he looked up where Daryl had pointed. "They were just up there last night."

⠀⠀⠀"Glenn! Maggie!" Daryl screamed, cupping his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice.

⠀⠀⠀The door to the guard tower slowly opened, and Glenn walked out. He wasn't even trying to hide what the two were doing since Glenn stared down at them with no shirt and buttoning his pants.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey! What's up, guys?" Glenn asked them.

⠀⠀⠀"You comin'?" Daryl asked.

⠀⠀⠀"What?"

⠀⠀⠀The group snickered around Bianca and watched Glenn process what Daryl was asking. His mind was obviously not entirely gone from where he had just been. Bianca watched on, amused, but despite pushing back all that had happened, she still wasn't mentally in a good place.

⠀⠀⠀"You comin'?" Daryl repeated.

⠀⠀⠀Glenn stared back at him, his mouth rounding to say what again before turning to look inside the guard tower.

⠀⠀⠀"C'mon, we could use a hand!" Daryl finished, finished tormenting the poor boy.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca followed behind, heading for the cars to move them, when T-Dog stopped them. Bianca turned to see Axel and Oscar approaching the fence despite Rick's warning.

⠀⠀⠀Rick turned back to the crew, his hand hovering over his gun as he nodded for them to follow.

⠀⠀⠀"That's close enough," Rick ordered the two, a scowl on his face as he looked over them. "We had an agreement."

⠀⠀⠀"Please, mister," Axel begged. "We know that. We made a deal. But you gotta understand! We can't live in that place another minute, you follow me? All the bodies, people we knew! Blood, brains everywhere! They're ghosts!"

⠀⠀⠀"Why don't you move the bodies out?" Daryl asked, his tone friendlier than Rick's.

⠀⠀⠀"You should be burin' them," T-Dog added.

⠀⠀⠀"We tried! We did!" Axel exclaimed.

⠀⠀⠀"The fence is down on the far side of the prison," Oscar cut in, much calmer than his companion. "Every time we drag a body out, those things just line up. So, we dump the body and run back inside."

⠀⠀⠀"Look! We had nothin' to do with Tomas and Andrew! Nothin'!" Axel exclaimed, taking a few steps forward in his excitement. "You tryin' to prove a point? You proved it, bro. We'll do whatever it takes to be a part of your group. Just... please, please, don't make us live in that place!"

⠀⠀⠀"Our deal is non-negotiable," Rick repeated, unwilling to bend after all they'd been through. Bianca couldn't help but think he'd have to give way soon, their numbers were small, and they hardly survived the winter. "You either live in your cell block, or you leave."

⠀⠀⠀"I told you this was a waste of time. They ain't no different than the pricks who shot up our boys," Oscar claimed, glaring down at Rick. "You know how many friends' corpses we had to drag out this week? Just threw 'em out like... Those were good guys. Good guys who had our backs against the really bad dudes in the joint like Tomas and Andrew. Now, we've all made mistakes to get in here, boss, and I'm not gonna pretend to be a saint, but believe me... we paid our due. Enough that we would rather hit that road than go back into that shithole."

⠀⠀⠀Rick paused, then turned to look at Daryl.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl shook his head no, still untrusting of the men. Bianca butted her head in, nodding. Rick ignored her and proceeded to lock Axel and Oscar in the fence to further discuss the situation.

⠀⠀⠀"Are you two serious?" Rick asked T-Dog and Bianca with a scowl. "You want them livin' in a cell next to you? They'll just be waiting for a chance to grab our weapons. You want to go back to sleeping with one eye open?"

⠀⠀⠀"I never stopped," T-Dog retorted with a hiss. Nothing had changed. Even with the fence, they were still vulnerable. "Bring them into the fold. If we send them off packing, we might as well execute them ourselves."

⠀⠀⠀"We need the numbers, too," Bianca added, Rick's burning glaring annoying her skin. She crossed her arms over her chest for comfort, then continued. "We may be sitting pretty behind our fences, but those walkers are gonna be overwhelming, and soon. Especially when we have to do runs."

⠀⠀⠀"I don't know," Glenn muttered, eyeing the men behind the fence. "Axel seems a little unstable."

⠀⠀⠀"After all we've been through?" Carol asked. "We fought so hard for all this. What if they decide to take it?"

⠀⠀⠀"It's just been us for so long..." Maggie muttered, holding herself as she glanced warily over the group. "They're strangers. I don't... it feels weird all of a sudden to have these other people around."

⠀⠀⠀"You brought us in," T-Dog reminded her.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, but you turned up with a shot boy in your arms, didn't give us much of a choice," Maggie said with a half-hearted sigh.

⠀⠀⠀"They can't even kill walkers!" Glenn hissed back.

⠀⠀⠀"They're convicts, bottom line," Carol said.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca didn't like how black and white she had made it.

⠀⠀⠀"Those two might actually have less blood on their hands than we do," T-Dog argued.

⠀⠀⠀"I get guys like this," Daryl spoke up, his tone reminiscent and swayed onto Bianca's and T-Dog's side. "Hell, I grew up with 'em. They're degenerates, but they ain't psychos. I could've been with them just as easy as I'm out here with you guys."

⠀⠀⠀"So, you with us?" T-Dog asked hopefully.

⠀⠀⠀"Hell no!" Daryl exclaimed. "Let 'em take their chances out on the road, just like we did!"

⠀⠀⠀"We got saved by more than one person in the position we are now," Bianca retorted, recounting Daryl saving her, the Atlanta group, Jenner, and most recently, the Greene's. "We haven't been running around on the road by ourselves the whole time."

⠀⠀⠀"Exactly that, Daryl—" T-Dog tried to continue the argument, but Rick was done hearing them.

⠀⠀⠀"When I was a rookie, I arrested this kid. Nineteen years old wanted for stabbing his girlfriend. The kid blubbered like a baby during the interrogation, during the trial, suckered the jury. He was acquitted due to insufficient evidence and two weeks later he shot another girl," Rick told them, his words sharp and final. "We've been through too much. Our deal with them stands."

BIANCA DROVE THE truck through the grass and toward T-Dog, where he was directing them to park. They needed to keep enough space for all of Rick's farming plans while also having enough room for space to escape. Bianca noticed Hershel, Beth, Lori, and Carl walking outside as she drove. It had hardly been a few days since Hershel got his leg chopped off, but he was already up and walking. Bianca didn't think she could heal so quickly, even at her centuries younger age.

⠀⠀⠀Glenn cheered Hershel on from the back fence, heard like a faint whisper all the way up by the prison. The overwhelming feeling that Hershel had made it through their worst fears and looked even healthier than ever dropped their guard. No one had noticed the herd of walkers making their dramatic entrance until it was too late, and Carl was screaming for them to do something.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca snapped the truck into park and flung the door open. She hadn't brought her sledgehammer out with her, so all she had was the knife she'd picked up over the winter. Lori, thankfully, had a gun and was shooting the walkers alongside Carl. Beth got Hershel out of danger, and Maggie was behind the,

⠀⠀⠀Bianca turned to Lori, fear flooding her veins as the walkers got closer and closer, and they were wide open. Bianca sprinted around the perimeter, looking for an escape, and luckily found one.

⠀⠀⠀"Lori! Carl!" Bianca screamed, waving her hand frantically at them.

⠀⠀⠀Lori took her call and collected Carl before the two started running toward her. Once inside, Lori shut the gate, then the metal door, and Bianca led the way through the halls. She headed first for their cell block, but it seemed the walkers were leaking from everywhere as another group surprised her. Bianca quickly turned back, turning Carl with her to head in the other direction. Lori had been a few steps behind the two, her mind not catching that they were no longer heading for the cell block. Bianca threw her hand out, grabbed Lori's wrist, and dragged her behind.

⠀⠀⠀They made it through a section of the halls where Bianca could seal their exit behind them with an iron door.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm going to lead the way," Carl stated, puffing out his chest and reloading his gun. "I have a gun."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm fine. I have a knife," Bianca assured him with a frown.

⠀⠀⠀Carl scoffed, "A knife?"

⠀⠀⠀"Fine, we'll trade," Bianca told him, holding her hand out for the gun, but Carl just turned on his heel and led the way. "Dammit, follow the arrows!"

⠀⠀⠀Carl followed her instructions and led them through the halls, twisting and turning to try and find an escape back into Axel and Oscar's cell block.

⠀⠀⠀Halfway through their journey, the alarms suddenly blared, and Bianca cursed loudly. She shuffled them forward faster, only getting a few feet away when Lori suddenly stopped, groaning.

⠀⠀⠀"Lori, what is it? What's wrong?" Bianca asked in a panic, running back toward her with wild eyes. Her hands hovered over Lori, unsure what to do as Lori began to pant.

⠀⠀⠀"Something's not right," Lori explained, her voice strained.

⠀⠀⠀"Are you bit?" Carl asked her.

⠀⠀⠀"No, no, no. No," Lori assured him, turning around so she could rest against the wall. "I think the baby's comin'!" she exclaimed, pain rupturing through her words.

⠀⠀⠀"Mom?" Carl asked, worried.

⠀⠀⠀Another herd rounded the corner, and Carl raised his gun to shoot.

⠀⠀⠀"No, we gotta move," Bianca said in a rush.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca took Lori's arm and pulled her over her shoulder so Lori could rest her weight on Bianca. The two struggled to walk together while Carl kept to the front, clearing the halls. It wasn't long until another group of walkers was onto them. Carl turned them around, moving as quickly as he could down another hall, and stuffed them into the first unlocked door he could find. The door slammed shut behind them, but it didn't lock. Carl slammed the door over and over again to try and get it to stay.

⠀⠀⠀"Stop it!" Bianca hissed up at him, having walked Lori down the stairs. "You'll just draw them to us."

⠀⠀⠀Carl looked down at her, then nodded in understanding. He pushed the door to where it stopped and ran down to them. He cleared the room while Bianca stood in front of Lori, leaning against the wall and groaning in pain.

⠀⠀⠀"What are those alarms?" Lori groaned, pulling herself up and waddling further into the room.

⠀⠀⠀"We can't worry about those right now," Bianca told her, trying to be calm, but her voice shook violently.

⠀⠀⠀"What if it attracts them?" Carl asked worriedly, following behind them.

⠀⠀⠀"It's the whole prison. As long as it's not pointing directly at us in this room, we're okay," Bianca assured him, giving him the best smile she could before turning back to Lori.

⠀⠀⠀"The baby's comin'," Lori muttered tiredly, back against a wall.

⠀⠀⠀"We have to go back to our cell block to have Hershel help!" Carl cried, darting toward the stairs.

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Bianca shouted at him, halting him in his tracks. "There's too many of them. We have to do it here."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca was glad she and Carl had a good relationship and that he trusted her. If it were anyone else, she worried he might go to try and find help anyway.

⠀⠀⠀"Great," Lori panted, displeased, before struggling to breathe.

⠀⠀⠀"What is she doing? Can't she breathe?" Carl asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Lori, um, maybe we should get your pants off," Bianca said, scrambling her thoughts inside her mind to try and make sense of what to do.

⠀⠀⠀"Okay... okay," Lori agreed, falling to the ground in a heap. Bianca kneeled down in front of her, pulled her shoes off then helped her wiggle out of her pants.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you know how?" Carl asked Bianca, knitting his brows together as he stood near Lori's head.

⠀⠀⠀"Um, not really," Bianca muttered.

⠀⠀⠀"I'll try and walk you through what I know. But, you know some, too, right?" Lori asked, her eyes closed as she pushed herself up.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah," Bianca said softly, glancing at Carl to see his confused expression and then to Lori.

⠀⠀⠀"I gotta push, though. I gotta..." Lori muttered to herself.

⠀⠀⠀Lori struggled to stand on her own. Bianca swooped in, wrapping Lori's arm around her and holding her up. When she was back up on her own two feet, Lori held onto the wall and began to push. Bianca watched as the sweat beaded on her temple and her expression turned dark with pain.

⠀⠀⠀"Somebody!" Lori screamed, her grip on Bianca becoming a vice-like grip. Bianca didn't utter a word, frightened Lori might feel bad for the pain she was in. "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay."

⠀⠀⠀"Alright," Bianca nodded, turning wide-eyed to Carl. Bianca could feel the blood leaving her face, turning her white as a ghost. "You're doing great, Lori. Just keep pushing. Your body knows what to do. It did before modern medicine. We'll be okay," she assured her, the quiver still in her voice. Lori let out a yelp, unnerving Bianca. "You're doing great."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sunk to her knees and craned her head between Lori's spread legs to check and see if the baby was crowning. The horrifying videos of watching people give birth when she was pregnant had at least given her some insight into this. However, the crowning head of a baby was not what Bianca saw. It was shadowed, but there were traces of blood spatter on Lori's thighs. Bianca assured herself it was expected, but her hand soaked immediately when she reached up to tell for sure.

⠀⠀⠀"Lori, stop, stop! Something's wrong!"

⠀⠀⠀Lori screamed, pinching the air but blanketed by the alarms. Her body continued to contract for a moment until Lori forced it to stop. Bianca lowered her hand, revealing the red-hands Bianca had nightmares over since Tomas had been killed.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca didn't let it consume her, straightening back up and helping Lori lie back on the floor. Carl fell with them, sitting next to Lori's head.

⠀⠀⠀"Mom? Mom, look at me, look at me. Keep your eyes open!" Carl begged her.

⠀⠀⠀"We gotta... we gotta get to Hershel," Bianca muttered, looking wildly around the room for some idea of getting her back. It was risky before, and it was risky now, but they had no choice.

⠀⠀⠀"I won't make it," Lori sighed.

⠀⠀⠀"Lori, please," Bianca cried, holding Lori's hands helplessly. "We gotta get you back. I don't think—"

⠀⠀⠀"I know," Lori assured her softly, shaking her head. "I'm not losin' my baby. You've gotta cut me open."

⠀⠀⠀"No, I can't," Bianca begged her, heart bursting at the idea of someone else dying at her hands.

⠀⠀⠀"You don't have a choice," Lori told her sternly.

⠀⠀⠀"I'll go for help," Carl told them, darting to his feet.

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Lori and Bianca yelled at him, stopping him in his tracks.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca turned back to Lori, her face breaking, and the tears were beginning to stream down her face from the stress.

⠀⠀⠀"I haven't been trained for this," Bianca argued. "I don't—I don't know how..."

⠀⠀⠀"Please," Lori begged, giving her a stern look.

⠀⠀⠀"I have no anesthetic, nothing to cut or suture with," Bianca tried, but Lori was smarter than that.

⠀⠀⠀"You gotta knife," Lori said, her eyes flickering down to her belt and then back.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca shook her head, hands shaking as she went back on her knees. She couldn't believe Lori wanted Bianca to kill her just for some... baby! A whole life, a husband, a son, and she would give it up for an unborn child. Bianca didn't want it to happen this way. She wanted Lori to live. She didn't want another mom dead because of her.

⠀⠀⠀"You won't survive," Bianca sobbed, the words too real.

⠀⠀⠀"My baby has to survive, please," Lori told her, breathing heavily the longer she stayed in this state. "You were there when I decided to keep it. You're gonna help me now. Alright? Please, Bianca! Please. Please..."

⠀⠀⠀Lori sat up onto her elbows and then used her right hand to lift up her shirt to show Bianca where to cut.

⠀⠀⠀"See my old C-Section scar? You follow that line. There are two layers then the baby, alright?"

⠀⠀⠀"I can't do it," Bianca muttered between her tears, the knife in her hands shaking. She couldn't remember when she had gotten it. "I can't."

⠀⠀⠀"You can. You have to," Lori told her, as tough and encouragingly as she could. Then, she allowed Bianca to get a handle on herself while saying her last words to her son. "Carl? Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay? This is what I want. This is right. Now you-you take care of your daddy, alright? And your little brother or sister, you take care..."

⠀⠀⠀"You don't have to do this," Carl said, tears filling his face.

⠀⠀⠀"You're gonna be fine," Lori assured him with the widest and brightest smile. "You are gonna beat this world. I know you will! You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave! And I love you."

⠀⠀⠀"I love you, too," Carl said softly.

⠀⠀⠀"You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me, you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world," Lori told him. She was crying now, too. "So, don't... if it feels wrong, don't do it, alright? If it feels easy, don't do it. Don't let the world spoil you. You're so good," she whispered desperately to him, wiping the tears from his face with her thumb. "You're my sweet boy! The best thing I ever did!"

⠀⠀⠀Carl fell into her arms, sobbing loudly into her shirt.

⠀⠀⠀"I love you! I love you. You're my sweet, sweet boy. I love you," she said, then pushed him back with a weepy smile.

⠀⠀⠀"Bianca," Lori began, sticking her hand out to hold Bianca's tightly. "I remember you as that..." she let a smile cross her face as she gazed into the distraught face of Bianca. "Spitfire. Everyone so scared to piss you off, even me. But, after our time together, I've come to know you like family. You protect my sweet boy like you have been. Be good to him, alright?"

⠀⠀⠀Bianca nodded a frog in her throat, unable to respond in words.

⠀⠀⠀"You're a good girl, and I'm sorry, but when this is over, you're gonna have to—"

⠀⠀⠀"No, no," Bianca wept, knowing what she wanted her to do.

⠀⠀⠀"No, you have to do it. It can't be Rick," Lori told her frantically and waited until Bianca gave her a reassuring nod. "Alright, alright. It's alright. It's alright," Lori told herself, holding Carl's hand while Bianca returned to her knife. Finally, the shaking had stopped enough to allow her to cut. "Goodnight, love."

⠀⠀⠀"Thank you, Lori, for everything," Bianca whispered.

⠀⠀⠀The knife dipped into Lori's skin before being dragged straight across. Blood pooled from the incision, and Lori screamed out from the pain. It rung in Bianca's ears, and she hardly heard Carl asking her what she was doing.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca hurriedly stuffed her hands inside of Lori. Her only goal now was saving the baby. The feeling of Lori's organs caught onto Bianca's gag reflex, and a spark of her mother flooded her mind. Bianca tried to contain herself but paused to let an unnerved sigh escape between her lips. Then, she continued digging through her stomach, but she was stopped by another wall of flesh.

⠀⠀⠀"Carl," Bianca whispered. "Carl. I have to cut the second layer, and I can't see. Gimme your hands."

⠀⠀⠀Carl inched over, and Bianca directed him to hold Lori's stomach open for her. She wished she had another set of hands to do it for him because she knew this image would stay with him forever.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca cut the second layer, and the flesh peeled away for her to see the baby inside. Bianca sighed with relief, a nervous laugh bubbling out of her chest. She reached inside Lori's stomach, and out she came.

⠀⠀⠀However, she was still. Not a cry or yell or tear as Bianca cradled her. She was cold and unmoving, and Bianca now was sure her touch was a curse. Bianca rested her hand on the baby's chest, tapping it gently, then flipped her over to do the same on her back. She started crying, and Bianca smiled, thankful.

⠀⠀⠀Carl sprung to life while Bianca cut the umbilical cord. Carl handed her his vest, and Bianca used it to wrap the baby into.

⠀⠀⠀"Give me your gun, Carl," Bianca demanded, holding her hand out.

⠀⠀⠀Carl stared at her, then frowned, "No."

⠀⠀⠀"Carl, please," Bianca asked.

⠀⠀⠀"She's my mom," Carl told her simply.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca stared at him, but she knew that look. It was one she knew well. He wouldn't budge. This was his to do alone. She raised herself from the ground, sitting so they were eye to eye. She could see in his eyes that he thought she might fight him for it.

⠀⠀⠀"Carl, you do what you have to do, but I need you to remember this," Bianca told him sternly, waiting until he nodded in response to continued. "You aren't shooting her because she's about to turn into a monster, alright? You're doing it because she's your mother because you love her more than anyone else in the world, even when it was hard. You're doing this because you know in the end this is the best thing you can do for her."

⠀⠀⠀Carl grew teary-eyed again but then collected himself, so he looked strong and gave her a short nod.

⠀⠀⠀"I would stay with you, but I'm worried about the baby," Bianca told him.

⠀⠀⠀"I know," Carl told her.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca left the room, shutting the door as much as she could behind her before the echo rung in her ears. Carl stepped out not long after, his face clean of fresh tears and his shoulders tense.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca rested her hand on Carl's shoulder, reassuring him she was there. He nodded that he was okay, and Bianca nodded back.

⠀⠀⠀The two walked in silence, their weariness hiding within their skin, and a thin shield of numbness kept them from their misery. There was still a whole group of them they needed to find. Especially Hershel, now that they had a baby with no mother to feed her.

⠀⠀⠀They found the others in the courtyard. Rick heard the baby begin to fuss, spinning on his heel toward them. He approached them, distraught as he saw only Carl and Bianca return with a baby and no Lori beside them.

⠀⠀⠀"Where is... where is she? Where is she?" Rick asked her, stumbling over his feet as he tried to walk over to them.

⠀⠀⠀"She didn't make it," Bianca said, nothing in her voice giving away how she felt.

⠀⠀⠀Rick's face fell, turning to Carl as he sobbed. He stared at his son, crying out in despair, before taking a few more steps, then collapsed in grief.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

:'(

I've had this planned for awhile and I've been very sad about it. I hate that Lori doesn't get to meet Cal most of all!! 

I hope you guys caught the little thing where Bianca says the thing she had to tell herself when shooting her father to Carl. It makes me emotional.

SONG: Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.