❛ Like a heartbeat, drives you mad. In the stillness of remembering what you had and what you lost. Of what you had and what you lost. ❜

SEASON 2, EPISODE 13
beside the dying fire

━━━━━━ day 82.

SHANE WAS SURELY dead, now. He'd died then risen again, killed by the man he called a best friend, then shot through the head by the kid he had loved so much. They left him in the field and trekked back to the farmhouse. It was a good while until they'd get back, and neither Bianca nor Rick had the energy to drag his dead body. They could get Shane later by the truck or in the morning.

⠀⠀⠀Neither Carl nor Bianca knew what transpired between the two men, but Rick was in a daze. However, Carl wasn't keen on letting them process what happened.

⠀⠀⠀"You bit, too?" Carl asked Rick, glancing up at him from beneath his hat.

⠀⠀⠀"No."

⠀⠀⠀"Shane was," Carl said, looking down at his feet.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca looked at the boy sadly. Carl had said it to remind himself that he didn't kill Shane but the reanimated corpse of a man he once knew. Her hand was still resting on Carl's shoulder, and she squeezed it quickly to reassure him he was right.

⠀⠀⠀"That wasn't Shane. You know that," Rick made sure to say, making sure Carl didn't feel the weight of guilt that he must've been.

⠀⠀⠀"Used to be," Carl surmised, Shrugging. "What happened? You guys attacked? I mean, we... we heard a gunshot, but I didn't see any walkers nearby."

⠀⠀⠀Rick didn't answer. His expression contorted into pain, trying to think of a way to tell his son Shane was dead for whatever good reason. Carl was still just a kid, no matter what he told himself, and his immature emotions might not make sense of the truth.

⠀⠀⠀"How did Shane die?" Carl continued to pester.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca nearly told Carl to leave it for now, but Rick stopped in his tracks. He let out a tired sigh, collecting his thoughts before turning to Carl. He stared at Carl, soaking in the love still there before he killed it. It was evident to Bianca that Rick had been the one to kill Shane. She was sure there was a good reason. Rick didn't seem like the type to kill any of them without cause, and Shane had been giving them all grief since day one.

⠀⠀⠀Rick almost explained the situation but paused. Then, slowly, he turned to look the way they came, and his face turned paperwhite. Bianca turned to see what he was looking at, then Carl.

⠀⠀⠀Across the field, a hundred or so walkers were trailing behind them. Now seeing them, Bianca could hear their groans faintly. Dread filled her stomach, and she felt frozen as she stared at them.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, my god," Rick exclaimed in a whisper, coming back to himself. He turned to the two and forced them to move with a shove. "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go."

⠀⠀⠀The three ran west from where they had been and toward the barn. Rick pulled them back against a massive tree sitting a few feet away from it so they could assess where they could move next.

⠀⠀⠀"We... we gotta get to the house, tell the others," Carl said quickly, turning to Bianca then Rick with wide eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"We'll never get through that," Rick stated, mentally marking where the hoard was around them as they began to pin them in. "Can't go around. Carl, stay close, and if anything happens..."

⠀⠀⠀Rick looked at Carl long and hard, the words painful, before looking at Bianca. His lips thinned, silently asking her to keep his son safe if things went to shit.

⠀⠀⠀"You two stick together. Alright?" he asked, the two nodding. "Go!"

⠀⠀⠀Rick led with Carl and Bianca a step behind them. Walkers were now a hairsbreadth away from them as they sprinted for the barn. They had to dodge the walkers, no time to spend wasting bullets or swinging a sledgehammer. Getting rid of one would land them with ten more waiting to pounce.

⠀⠀⠀They got to the barn without a scratch, Rick slamming the door open and letting Carl and Bianca inside before following them in. Bianca and Carl held the door closed while Rick darted around the room to find a prodding pole. He rushed to the door and slid it between the handles to keep it locked for as long as it could.

⠀⠀⠀The walkers slammed their weight against the doors, fingers curling between the wood, trying to pry the panels off. It wouldn't be long before the walkers found a way in.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca, Rick, and Carl ran around the open barn, unsure what to do next. Unfortunately, there was no back exit, and they couldn't just jump from the roof without falling into the maw of a walker.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca found a closet, opening the door to find gas cans left inside for the tractor. She smiled faintly, a plan formulating within her mind.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick!" Bianca called, looking over her shoulder. He perked up, raising his eyebrows as she waved him over. Rick nodded, looking inside to see the gas cans. "Let's kill them with fire."

⠀⠀⠀Rick gave her a brief smile to tell her good job before the two each grabbed a can. Rick grabbed another to hand to Carl. They flooded the bottom floor with gasoline, the smell sweeter than the rotting corpses outside.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, shit. Alright, okay. Up there, hurry," Rick exclaimed, ushering the two toward the ladder.

⠀⠀⠀"Wait, what about you?" Carl asked, turning to his dad.

⠀⠀⠀"I'll be right there," Rick said, holding onto Carl's shoulders with white knuckles. He looked to Bianca, holding a lighter out to her. "Drop the lighter when I say."

⠀⠀⠀"No, I'll help you down here," Bianca said sternly, taking the lighter and putting it in Carl's hand.

⠀⠀⠀"No, you have to stay with Carl. If anything happens—"

⠀⠀⠀"Then, I'll keep him safe, but if we're making the choice, it should be you who gets out," Bianca told him, holding Rick's stare. "He's your son, not mine. I'm helping."

⠀⠀⠀Rick sighed, running his hand down his face but knowing he couldn't argue.

⠀⠀⠀"Alright," he muttered. He bent down to Carl and took the lighter from him as he explained. "We'll stop some of them from reaching the house and distract the others. So at least we'll have a chance."

⠀⠀⠀Carl took the lighter back, holding it in a tight grip, and looked down glumly.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, hey, hey," Rick said quickly, dispelling his worry. "Look at me. You can do this. Carl... I love you."

⠀⠀⠀There was a moment's pause. Carl nodded faintly, and Bianca quickly hugged him before the three split.

⠀⠀⠀Rick ran for the barn doors, Bianca hanging back to give him enough space to move. He slammed the doors open, allowing the walkers to swarm in as he rushed backward. They waved their arms and brought the walkers in further until they filled almost every inch. Satisfied, Rick pushed Bianca back to the ladder. She went up first, then Rick, the two scrambling to get to the top. Halfway up, Rick shouted for Carl to go ahead and drop the lighter. As he did, Bianca made it to the top, pulling Rick up before the flames singed his jeans.

⠀⠀⠀The walkers screamed as the gasoline ignited, but all their simple minds seemed to care about was them and their fresh flesh. They were slower now, on fire, so Bianca, Rick, and Carl stood at the top, watching them.

⠀⠀⠀Slowly, they edged backward, so they were up against the wall. Then, they walked to the side of the catwalk and toward an alcove that led to the roof. They stood awkwardly on the roof, stuck for a moment. Then, their saving grace came speeding toward the barn.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey! Here! Get in here! Put it right there! Come on!" Rick screamed at whoever was driving the RV until it pulled in close enough for the three to jump on.

⠀⠀⠀Rick maneuvered himself down the side of the roof and over an opening in the roof first. He held his hand out for Carl and Bianca to keep them upright on the slope before he jumped onto the roof. He helped them onto the roof and led them toward the ladder. Rick went down, shooting a few stragglers hearing the engine of the RV.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca and Carl climbed down after them, rushing around the side of the RV, hoping to help the driver out. However, Jimmy's agonizing screams pierced their ears before a splat of blood erupted over the front window. They paused, seeing that the first of this tragedy was dead.

⠀⠀⠀"There," Rick said, recognizing there was nothing they could do for Jimmy, and pointed toward the woods. "Head for the woods, now, as fast as you can. Come on. Come on!"

⠀⠀⠀They hid at the edge of the woods, running between trees and leaves crunching at their feet. The farm was still in sight, and the walkers hardly noticed them.

⠀⠀⠀Rick noticed Hershel first, standing with a rifle as he shot down walker after walker without paying attention to anything other than what was in front of him. Then, Rick sprinted for Hershel and took care of the walker coming up behind Hershel.

⠀⠀⠀Hershel turned to them in surprise. Bianca and Carl stood behind Rick, Bianca holding Carl protectively to her side as they stood out in the open. Hershel hardly spoke, turning back to the walkers approaching to continue shooting them down.

⠀⠀⠀"Where's Lori? Did you see Lori?" Rick shouted over the noise.

⠀⠀⠀"I don't know what happened, Rick," Hershel yelled back, his voice lacking emotion. "They just keep coming. It's like a plague. They're everywhere."

⠀⠀⠀"Lori! Did you see her?" Rick demanded.

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Hershel finally responded, shaking his head adamantly.

⠀⠀⠀"We have to go. Find mom and the others," Rick said to them, turning back to Carl and Bianca as they nodded in understanding.

⠀⠀⠀"It's my farm!" Hershel exclaimed.

⠀⠀⠀"Not anymore!" Rick snapped back, grabbing Hershel by the shirt, and dragged him back with him.

⠀⠀⠀They went for the red Station Wagon. Bianca and Carl crawled into the backseat while Rick took the driver's side. Hershel still stood outside, shooting walkers as they kept on coming. When he finally saw it was hopeless, and Rick's shouting got through to him, Hershel left his station and hopped into the passenger's side.

⠀⠀⠀Rick started the car and peeled off the property, lucky that they had all made it out alive. However, unsure if anyone else had made it in the short span of chaos.

⠀⠀⠀Carl let out a tired breath, finally able to relax. He rested his head against Bianca's shoulder, and she quickly wrapped her arm around him. She pulled his hat off, put it on the seat beside him, and rubbed her hand against his hair comfortingly.

⠀⠀⠀Rick turned back once they were safe, smiling sadly, before resting his hand on Carl's knee to reassure him that he was still with them.

━━━━━━ day 83.

IT WAS AN hour past sun up. Bianca stared at the watch Dale had given her, unwound since Dale never got the chance to show her how. Maybe she could ask Hershel once everything settled. He might know. She'd seen the old pocket watch he kept in his pocket.

⠀⠀⠀Rick had gone back toward the highway, pulling up to the car they'd left as a sign for Sophia. It ended up being Cal's, which she suggested without anyone knowing why except for Daryl.

⠀⠀⠀Her beacon of hope brought another pang of dread through Bianca's system. The cans of food, a jar of peanut butter, and a bottle of water resting on the hood, waiting for a dead little girl. If they stayed long, Bianca was thankful they had a bit of food.

⠀⠀⠀Carl was angry that they had stopped, rushing his dad.

⠀⠀⠀"Wait, where's mom? You said she'd be here," Carl claimed, looking around desperately. "W... We gotta go back for her."

⠀⠀⠀"Carl..." Rick said softly, not sure what to say to make it better.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca and Hershel stayed back, keeping in sight but allowed the father and son to handle this dispute between themselves. If either tried to interrupt, it would definitely make things worse.

⠀⠀⠀"No, why are we running? What are you doing?" Carl demanded. "It's... it's mom! We need to get her and not be safe a mile away."

⠀⠀⠀"Shh," Rick demanded, clamping his hand down on Carl's shoulder. "You need to be quiet, alright? Please."

⠀⠀⠀"Please..." Carl repeated. "It's mom."

⠀⠀⠀"Look, Carl, listen—"

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Carl snapped back, turned on his heel, and walked away. At least he stayed in eyesight while he sulked.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick," Hershel sighed once Carl was out of earshot. "You've got to get your boy to safety. I'll wait here for my girls and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up at one of them later."

⠀⠀⠀"Where?" Rick demanded. "Where is safe? We're not splitting up."

⠀⠀⠀"Please, keep your boy safe," Hershel begged, looking beyond tired. "I'll hide in one of my cars. If a walker gets me, so be it. I've lost my farm. I've lost my wife and maybe my daughters."

⠀⠀⠀"You don't know that," Rick stated, frowning. "They'll be here."

⠀⠀⠀"I agree with Rick," Bianca cut in, not wanting to be pulled between two people. "This is the last place we set up camp. This will be where they go to see if anyone else made it out."

⠀⠀⠀"You don't know that," Hershel argued.

⠀⠀⠀"You're a man of God," Rick spat, narrowing his eyes at Hershel. "Have some faith."

⠀⠀⠀"I can't profess to understand God's plan, but Christ promised the resurrection of the dead," Hershel explained, looking around them for a moment. "I just thought he had something a little different in mind."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca mulled on his words, noting the irony of the Holy text as well. She'd never been a completely faithful person, but when she did go to church, she listened. The rapture one of the scarier stories and more interesting. Perhaps, her lack of faith is what left her on Earth to suffer with the recently risen rather than be pulled up to Heaven. However, if this was God's plan, she wondered why that left Carl or Sophia down to suffer alongside them.

⠀⠀⠀"We stick together," Rick concluded, not planning to discuss religion like Bianca had started to think about. He just frowned and left it at that.

BIANCA, RICK, CARL, and Hershel were still the only ones out on the highway by midday. Along with a walker passing through. Only one, thank God.

⠀⠀⠀They stood on the opposite side of the Station Wagon. Rick stood at the tail-end as he waited for the walker to pass, watching as it did. He turned back to them once it passed and waved for them to follow. They hid behind the trunk as the walker continued on down the road without noticing them.

⠀⠀⠀When it was far enough away from them, Hershel said, "I don't know how much longer we can stay here."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm not leaving without mom," Carl stated.

⠀⠀⠀"So, we're just gonna walk away?" Rick asked Hershel, scowling at the man, wanting them to run. "Not knowing if my wife, your girls are still out there? How do we live with that?"

⠀⠀⠀"You've only got one concern now. Just one," Hershel said simply, glancing down at Carl pointedly. "Keeping him alive. Nature may be throwing us a curveball, but that law is still true."

⠀⠀⠀Rick considered Hershel's words. He seemed to agree with the man now that he realized him waiting on the highway could further endanger his son.

⠀⠀⠀"Carl," Rick whispered, squatting down so that he and Carl were near eye level. "It's not safe here. I'm sorry. We'll..."

⠀⠀⠀The rumble of a motorcycle interrupted them, and they turned to see Daryl and Carol pulling up to them. Then, the familiar blue truck and green Honda along with one of Hershel's cars. Their people parked, Daryl, pulling in close before he stepped off.

⠀⠀⠀So much had happened all at once that Bianca barely had the time to register everyone else was in the same situation as them. She knew it, logically, but other than that, she had pushed it out of her mind to keep her sane.

⠀⠀⠀Seeing their cars pull up and everyone get out of the vehicles, as safe as they could be, had Bianca overflowing with gratefulness as she ran toward Daryl. He noticed her coming, smiling at the sight of her, and opened his arms. Bianca went straight into them, nearly knocking him over before he steadied himself and held her tight to his chest.

⠀⠀⠀"God, you nearly gave me a heart attack, kid," Daryl muttered, one hand resting on her back and the other pressed against her hair. "I'm glad you're alright."

⠀⠀⠀"Me, too," Bianca whispered, tears staining his leather jacket.

⠀⠀⠀Behind them, Carl and Lori had their reunion along with Maggie and Beth with their dad.

⠀⠀⠀Rick held his family close to him and asked, "Where'd you find everyone?"

⠀⠀⠀Daryl and Bianca parted enough, so they were looking at Rick. He kept Bianca close to his side as he said, "Well, those guys' tail lights were zig-zagging all over the road," Daryl stated, pointing over toward Glenn. "Figured he had to be Asian, driving like that."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca smacked the back of his head while Glenn chuckled in good humor, saying, "Good one."

⠀⠀⠀"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked, looking around at the group, slimmed down to just a few of them.

⠀⠀⠀"We're the only ones who made it so far," Rick stated.

⠀⠀⠀Lori stood, asking, "Shane?"

⠀⠀⠀Rick looked at her, then shook his head, letting her know he didn't make it. Bianca thought it might be best if they didn't say what exactly happened to him.

⠀⠀⠀"Andrea?" Glenn followed.

⠀⠀⠀"She saved me, then I lost her," Carol spoke up.

⠀⠀⠀"We saw her go down," T-Dog added, turning to Carol as he hung over his car door.

⠀⠀⠀"Patricia?" Hershel asked.

⠀⠀⠀Beside him, Beth shook her head, beginning to sob.

⠀⠀⠀"They got her, too," Beth explained between her cries. "Took her right in front of me. I was... I was holdin' onto her, daddy. She just... What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?"

⠀⠀⠀"He saved us from the barn," Bianca explained, cinching her fingers into the hem of her shirt. "He was in the RV, but it got overrun."

⠀⠀⠀Beth stared at her with big, blue eyes that filled with even more tears as she turned to her dad and cried into his shirt.

⠀⠀⠀"You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asked, turning to T-Dog.

⠀⠀⠀"There were walkers everywhere," T-Dog responded vaguely.

⠀⠀⠀"Did you see her?" Carol pressed.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm gonna go back," Daryl concluded, leaving Bianca to head for his bike.

⠀⠀⠀"No," Rick said.

⠀⠀⠀"We can't just leave her," Glenn protested.

⠀⠀⠀"We don't even know if she's there," Lori said to him with a frown.

⠀⠀⠀"She's somewhere else or dead," Rick told them, simple as that. "There's no way to find her."

⠀⠀⠀"So, we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asked.

⠀⠀⠀"We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here," Rick explained.

⠀⠀⠀"I say head east. Stay off the main roads. The bigger the roads, the more walkers," Daryl explained, taking his crossbow and aiming it at an approaching walker. The same one that Bianca, Rick, Carl, and Hershel had been hiding from before. "More assholes like this one. I got 'em."

⠀⠀⠀Daryl shot the walker between the eyes.

⠀⠀⠀With the appearance of the walker, it seemed everyone came to the agreement that waiting around or going back wasn't safe. They might have gone back for Andrea if it were any other occurrence. However, there was no telling where she was after half a day. If she was still at the farm, she was likely dead. But, if she made it out, there were a hundred different ways she could've run. Andrea was a fighter, a survivor. If any of them could make it on their own, she could.

⠀⠀⠀Everyone dispersed to their cars, and Bianca nearly joined Daryl on his bike before Carl asked if she'd ride with him. His brown doe eyes begged, and she just couldn't say no to him. Carol assured her that she didn't mind riding with Daryl, so there was an even split between the cars.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sat with the Grimes' and T-Dog in the Station Wagon as they traveled down the highway and further out of town. They made it a reasonable distance in silence, just trying to make it to the next place they could settle down. However, that didn't mean their luck got any better as Rick slammed his hand against the steering wheel in frustration, rousing Lori's worry.

⠀⠀⠀"What's wrong?" Lori asked, turning to him.

⠀⠀⠀"We've been riding red for the past hour," Rick explained between his teeth.

⠀⠀⠀"Better make sure we don't get forgotten," T-Dog commented.

⠀⠀⠀Rick nodded, pressing his hand against the horn once, and the procession stopped. They stepped out of the car, as did everyone else. They huddled together near Daryl at the front to discuss the never-ending decrease of supplies.

⠀⠀⠀"You out?" Daryl asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Runnin' on fumes," Rick answered.

⠀⠀⠀"We can't stay here," Daryl commented.

⠀⠀⠀"We can't all fit in one car," Glenn retorted.

⠀⠀⠀"We'll have to make a run for gas in the mornin'," Rick stated.

⠀⠀⠀"Spend the night here?" Carol asked, exasperated.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm freezing," Carl commented, already wrapped up in a red hoodie they found in the trunk.

⠀⠀⠀"We'll build a fire, yeah? You go out looking for firewood, stay close," Daryl told them, pulling out his crossbow. "Only got so many arrows. How you doin' on ammo?"

⠀⠀⠀"Not enough," Rick sighed.

⠀⠀⠀"We can't just sit here with our asses hangin' out," Maggie said in frustration as she looked between the two men.

⠀⠀⠀"Watch your mouth," Hershel snapped at her, still keeping up the pretense of politeness even during this hell. "Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."

⠀⠀⠀"Alright," Rick began, taking Hershel's lead in to command his people. "We'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

⠀⠀⠀"Glenn and I can go make a run now. Try and scrounge up some gas," Maggie offered with a frown.

⠀⠀⠀"No, we stay together," Rick barked. They had already been split up once. "God forbid something happens, and people get stranded without a car."

⠀⠀⠀"Rick, we're stranded now," Glenn said, emphasizing his words carefully.

⠀⠀⠀"I know it looks bad. We've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other," Rick said, looking over the group with a spark of hope. Even if they were at their worst, the best had happened in the end. "I wasn't sure... I really wasn't. But we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place."

⠀⠀⠀"Rick, look around, okay?" Glenn protested. "There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

⠀⠀⠀"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up," Rick continued, getting heated as he spoke of a promised land they all hoped for. "But that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it."

⠀⠀⠀"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure for how long," Maggie commented. "Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that was safe."

⠀⠀⠀"We won't make that mistake again," Hershel claimed.

⠀⠀⠀"We'll make camp tonight, over there, get on the road at the break of day," Rick told them. He pointed toward a deteriorated brick building with no roof and one side gone completely.

⠀⠀⠀"Does this feel right to you?" Carol asked Daryl, which surprised Bianca. She loved Daryl, but looking to him to make the call wasn't what she expected. Even from Carol, who seemed to have grown a soft spot for the man.

⠀⠀⠀"What if the walkers come through or another group like Randall's?" Beth asked, approaching Rick.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl didn't seem to take the question as an act of his own authority. Instead, he looked to Rick, seeing him as their leader, and wasn't going to push on that. However, he did comment on Randall's escape.

⠀⠀⠀"Y'know I found Randall, right?" he asked Rick, nodding his chin toward him. "He had turned, but he wasn't bit."

⠀⠀⠀"How's that possible?" Beth asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori sighed, looking under her lashes at him.

⠀⠀⠀"Shane killed Randall," Daryl told them with ease. "Just like he always wanted to."

⠀⠀⠀Rick took a moment, then said, "We're all infected."

⠀⠀⠀They turned to him, staring with wide eyes as Rick managed to give them an answer. Someone who had hardly lived through the beginning of the outbreak, someone who shouldn't have any more answers than them.

⠀⠀⠀"What?" Daryl asked for everyone else.

⠀⠀⠀"At the CDC, Jenner told me," Rick admitted, looking away from the pestering eyes. "Whatever it is, we all carry it."

⠀⠀⠀They paused, mulling it over. Bianca fiddled with her fingers, anxiety peeking through. Daryl stepped away from the group then Carol stepped forward.

⠀⠀⠀"And you never said anything?" she demanded.

⠀⠀⠀"Would it have made a difference?" Rick asked her.

⠀⠀⠀"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asked, still put off by him, not even trusting them to know.

⠀⠀⠀"What if someone had died in their sleep or something and woke up as a walker, killing us without us even knowing?" Bianca asked, throwing her hands up in her frustration.

⠀⠀⠀"How could I have known for sure?" Rick asked her with a glare. "You saw how crazy that mo—"

⠀⠀⠀"That is not your call!" Glenn snapped at him. "Okay? When I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told for the good of everyone."

⠀⠀⠀"Well, I thought it was best that people didn't know," Rick snarled back at him. He glared at Glenn, then turned to the building they'd sleep in for the night to check and see if it was good enough.

NIGHT FELL, AND everyone settled down, succumbing to the fact that they would have to follow Rick's orders and stay there for the night. The fire burned brighter than it had anywhere else, scalding their skin. The night air was freezing, so if they didn't have the fire, they might just die from hypothermia before becoming walkers themselves.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sat between Carl and Daryl, staring into the fire as she remembered all the people they had lost. No matter how much of a pain the ass they might've been. It still hurt to not see their faces around the fire with them.

⠀⠀⠀"We're not safe with him..." Carol said to Daryl, not even attempting to keep her voice down due to her anger. "Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."

⠀⠀⠀"No," Daryl told her, turning to look at her with a glare then back at the fire. "Rick's done alright by me."

⠀⠀⠀"You're his henchman," Carol hissed, and Bianca looked over at her, confused by her words. Bianca might disagree with Rick's decision not to tell them about the walkers, but she didn't think Rick had taken advantage of them. He was trying to keep them safe even if they disagreed. "And I'm a burden. You deserve better."

⠀⠀⠀"Just because the man-made a bad call doesn't mean he's wholly a bad leader," Bianca snapped at Carol. "We live, and we learn. He's the one who kept the search going for Sophia when no one else wanted to. He waited on that highway for y'all instead of running. I agree, he should've told us, but that doesn't change the fact he's calling the shots."

⠀⠀⠀"He lied to us," Carol hissed. "Kept a secret."

⠀⠀⠀"We've all kept secrets," Bianca said between her teeth. "You got beat by your husband, Hershel kept walkers in the barn, Lori's pregnant, Rick didn't tell us about Jenner's last words. We're all guilty."

⠀⠀⠀Carol couldn't keep up her points, Bianca shooting them down easily. So, she stopped trying and glowered further into the fire.

⠀⠀⠀"What do you want?" Daryl asked her, curious to know why she was so adamant.

⠀⠀⠀"A man of honor," Carol answered him, turning to Daryl pointedly.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick has honor," Daryl laid out, ending the conversation altogether.

⠀⠀⠀Across the fire, Maggie spoke of leaving, taking their chances but stopped short when the snap of a twig alerted them. They stood expectantly for the threat to come out. Rick stood near the entrance of their hideout and tried to locate whatever made the noise.

⠀⠀⠀"What was that?"

⠀⠀⠀"Could be anything," Daryl calmly stated, pulling out his crossbow. "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum."

⠀⠀⠀"Walker."

⠀⠀⠀"We need to leave," Carol stated, growing hysterical. "I mean, what are we waiting for?"

⠀⠀⠀"Which way?"

⠀⠀⠀"Back from where we came."

⠀⠀⠀"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark," Rick stated. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot."

⠀⠀⠀"Don't panic," Hershel said to his girls.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm not—I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through," Maggie responded, anxious to leave as she turned to Rick. "We need to move, now."

⠀⠀⠀"No one is going anywhere," Rick told her.

⠀⠀⠀"Do something," Carol snapped at him.

⠀⠀⠀"I am doing something!" Rick barked back at her, pointed his gun toward the ground. "I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"

⠀⠀⠀That shut everyone up, staring up at Rick with eyes as wide as saucers. Even Carl and Bianca, who had figured that much out, were shocked to hear it aloud.

⠀⠀⠀"You saw what he was like," Rick continued, seeing their faces, and quickly tried to explain his point of view. "How he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us." He turned to Lori, seeing as she was the one that mattered, the one he wanted to understand more than the others. Except for Carl, but he knew his son understood. "He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean!"

⠀⠀⠀Rick tried to convince himself, but he didn't seem to believe it. Carl's crying wounded him further as he flinched, watching his son take the brunt of Shane's death. Having to see it and kill him after, took a lot out of him.

⠀⠀⠀"Maybe you people are better off without me," Rick said to them in frustration as they all stayed as silent as statues. "Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe... maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... maybe I'm foolin' myself again. Why don't you... Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door! You can do better? Let's see how far you get."

⠀⠀⠀No one moved. Except for Bianca, sitting so that Rick knew she was with him before and now.

⠀⠀⠀Rick looked over the rest of them, a frown plastered to his face with narrow eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"No takes? Fine, but get one thing straight," Rick said to them. "You're staying. This isn't a democracy anymore."

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

Here's the next chapter and the final one... -ish. I wonder what could possibly await you in the next one if the end of the season is right here. Hmmmm....

SONG: Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.