❛ If everything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you. ❜

SEASON 3, EPISODE 9
the suicide king

━━━━━━ day 310.

CAL STOOD IN the middle of the crowd with Daryl standing beside him and the Governor raging ahead. Everything seemed to be falling down around him. He had been so close to Bianca and didn't even get the chance to talk to her, tell her everything was okay.

⠀⠀⠀Nothing was okay. Bianca looked horrible, her face a patch of red and purple as her eye swelled closed. Cal was about to die with Daryl, the person she had confided in about Cal.

⠀⠀⠀The Governor wasn't done with just revealing the disloyalty of Cal or the terrorism of Daryl, but then put Merle on the cross as well. Cal could see the Governor's one good eye and the ferocity behind it. Cal thought he had seen every type of rage within the man, but it seemed there was another monster to crack underneath.

⠀⠀⠀"I asked you where your loyalties lie," the Governor spat at Merle. Cal could see his hands shaking, and he doubted it was from nervousness. "You said here. Well, prove it! Prove it to us all. Brother against brother. Comrade against comrade."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah!" the townsfolk screamed in agreement, begging for their blood to be shed. The biters being pulled apart in front of them had become mundane, and now the real entertainment began.

⠀⠀⠀Cal's hands were free, along with Daryl's. They stood in the middle of the gladiator arena, waiting for Merle's response to the challenge. Either they all died tonight, or one of them walked free. Cal didn't like their odds. Merle was a survivor and a dirty one at that. Cal had seen the prison people's method of survival. They were clever and cautious, but Merle would do what he needed to. If Merle wanted to live, he'd be sure to do so.

⠀⠀⠀"Y'all know me!" Merle called out to the crowd, looking at them with his hands raised. "I'm gonna do whatever I gotta do to prove—"

⠀⠀⠀Merle turned, punching Daryl in the stomach. Cal watched as Daryl keeled over. He seemed weaker than before, not as loud-mouthed, and something off about him. Just like when they were back in the house, Daryl was frantic and off-kilter when Merle's name was brought up. It felt familiar, then Merle turned, swinging his metal arm at Cal. Before kicking Cal in the stomach, he ducked and forced him on his back.

⠀⠀⠀"That my loyalty is to this town!" Merle continued.

⠀⠀⠀Merle bent down to pick Daryl up by the collar but was punched in the face. He stumbled back a few feet, Cal kicking his leg out, so Merle fell over his feet and onto his hands. Merle scrambled back up to his feet, and Cal followed, raising his fists. Merle chuckled, about to swing when Daryl tackled him from the side.

⠀⠀⠀The brothers struggled on the ground, Daryl choking Merle and vice versa. Cal was distracted by the sight but not enough to notice the biters led into the arena on poles. Cal kicked Merle in the shin and Daryl in the knee, catching their attention. They stood, seeing the biters coming closer.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl went to Cal and pulled him away from the biters towards the arena's edge.

⠀⠀⠀"C'mon, boy," Daryl grunted. Whatever daze he was in seemed to be knocked out of him. "We're gettin' outta here alive and back to your girl."

⠀⠀⠀Cal looked at Daryl, then nodded. It all seemed like a long shot, but if he was going down, it would be with a fight.

⠀⠀⠀Cal, Daryl, and Merle worked oddly well together to keep the biters at bay. They were kept on the poles with the men holding them, but their teeth were still in their mouths. It was a threat now that they could die at any second.

⠀⠀⠀It felt like hours. Cal stood in that arena, throwing punches, with his limbs growing weaker by the second. It seemed unlikely they'd find a way out. They killed these biters. More would come out until his determination failed, and he slumped into a defeated heap.

⠀⠀⠀Then, gunfire rained down on the arena. Cal fell to the ground at the first crack boomed through the crowd. A can of smoke was tossed into the middle of the arena, and Cal let a smile break. Bianca's group had come back for... well, most likely Daryl, but he'd take it.

⠀⠀⠀The biters were let off their poles, and one was closing in on him. Cal stood, trying to keep low to the ground, then head-butted the biter in the chest. It fell to the ground, and Cal used the anxiety filling inside him to stomp the biter's head until a bloody pulp.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl skidded into Cal's vision, looking bewildered. Then, he took Cal's arm and dragged him out through the smoke toward a light bouncing off the side of a building.

━━━━━━ day 311.

BIANCA WAS FORCED to stay behind along with Michonne, the woman who helped Cal escape Woodbury, and Glenn to keep an eye on them.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca was restless as she was waiting to know that Cal was behind her and she could do nothing else. She sat beside the car, paced down the road, and even talked to Michonne for a while, but none of it reassured her. Finally, she settled on lying down in the grass and stared at the sky as the sun rose.

⠀⠀⠀For a while, it felt like everything was a dream. Either Cal would return, or he would be dead. She was sure it was the latter, believing her luck would never work in her favor. Her family was dead, Lori's blood on her hands, and now it was more than likely she would be within inches of her boyfriend without realizing only for him to be gone.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca wanted to cry and scream, throw a fit at the world for cursing her like this, but she stayed still. Her hands rested behind her head as she stared at the wonder of colors above until it all faded into their bright blue sky... not a cloud up there for her to see.

⠀⠀⠀She smiled faintly, a warm feeling filling her, and then Rick's voice shot through the trees.

⠀⠀⠀"Bianca! Glenn!"

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sat up straight. She still believed he would return and tell her Cal was dead with the same distraught expression as when she walked out after Lori. Yet, she couldn't help but hope against all hope that he was there.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca walked to the tree line where she spotted Rick and then looked for him. It felt like she scoured every inch of the forest in front of her until she could finally focus and found him. Her heart was beating against her chest, and her feet stumbled suddenly along the uneven ground.

⠀⠀⠀If asked point-blank if Bianca thought she'd ever see Cal again, she would say no. All of her hoping and praying wasn't enough to bring her to the reality that she would likely never see Cal again. Seeing him, it was like she had imagined something from her dreams. He seemed too real, too perfect, like a washed-out image from a dream.

⠀⠀⠀His hair was golden, the sunlight shining the same way as when she first met him. His blue eyes were an ocean of all the eternities she had imagined with him. His face was turning red and blotchy, and she could see the tears beginning to form along with the frown that pulled at his face.

⠀⠀⠀They were apart for so long...

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's lower lip started to tremble. She raised her hand to her mouth, using it as a crutch to help her breathe. She blinked a too many times, but he was still there, intact and the same as the last image before.

⠀⠀⠀Then, he laughed. The sound reverberated off the trees and struck Bianca right in the chest, awakening her from the frozen state.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sprinted the distance between them, the leaves crunching beneath her boots, bringing her back to him. When she was a foot from him, she jumped into his waiting arms, and they fell back at the sudden intensity.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's arms wrapped around Cal's neck in a grip to lock him in forever. Cal's arms wrapped around her waist in the same way, holding her close to his body. Her head rested against his neck, and he set his head on top of hers. Cal was shaking all over, and Bianca bet she was the same.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca let out an overwhelming sob, her fingers curling into his hair, and she turned, so her face was buried into him. She breathed in the smell she had missed so dearly and held him even tighter.

⠀⠀⠀The warmth of his skin against hers and the scratch of his clothes was pleasant. For a hundred years, she could live in this moment.

⠀⠀⠀However, their moment was too good to be true as arguing, more like a screaming match, started to happen beside them. Cal pulled his head back, and Bianca followed, hovering over his face as they continued to lie in the leaves. Cal's smile faded, and his thumb rose and rubbed the tender bruises worriedly. One of Bianca's eyes was closed shut while the rest of her body ached. Bianca could care less. Cal was with her, and nothing would ruin this for her.

⠀⠀⠀"I can't believe..." Bianca whispered, a grin spreading across her face while the tears forced her words to break until she could hardly speak.

⠀⠀⠀"I know," Cal said, grinning again as he looked into her eyes. His hand went to rest on her neck and pulled her down toward him.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca kissed him gently. If she had to suffer those long winding days a thousand times just to return here, with Cal, she would.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca smiled into the kiss, readjusting herself on top of Cal as his other hand reached up to her neck. Cal smiled as well, then laughed before leaning back. He gave her a knowing look, one she had seen before when they made out in front of their friends without realizing. Usually, Elena would interrupt them before that happened.

⠀⠀⠀"Alright, hold on, hold on!" Merle's grainy voice interrupted Bianca's moment. The light in her eye dimmed, and the concern that flashed over Cal's face seemed to confirm that face. She turned her head to look at Merle, her mind going blank as she stared at the man standing chummily among her friends, her family. "What in the hell did I miss since you ran off that you're with Jackie Chan over here?" he asked Cal.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's vision turned red at the sight of him. She couldn't kill Merle before, but maybe she could now. She didn't have a knife or any type of weapon but her bare hands. However, Bianca believed she could manage it.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca stood slowly, her shoulders slumped, her arms hanging loosely at her sides, and her breathing growing heavy. Merle stared back at her with an amused smirk, his eyebrow raised, waiting for a response.

⠀⠀⠀His smile is what made her crack. Bianca used everything left in her and ran the short distance between her and Merle with every intention of killing the man. She was a hair's breadth away when Daryl intervened, catching her in his arms and holding her up off the ground.

⠀⠀⠀"Let me go! Let me go! I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, Merle! You absolute piece of shit!" Bianca screamed at him, throwing her arms and legs everywhere as Daryl held her tightly.

⠀⠀⠀Merle chuckled at her struggle and said smugly, "A little late to the party there, Yellow."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca screamed in frustration and squirmed her way out of Daryl's hold. Then, she rushed Merle before Daryl could get her again and kicked Merle in the chest like he had done to her.

⠀⠀⠀"Knock it off!" Rick snapped at Bianca, stepped in front of her, and glared down at her.

⠀⠀⠀"He should be dead!" Bianca hissed, pointing down at Merle.

⠀⠀⠀"We can't," Rick bellowed, then turned to Merle. "Andrea's in Woodbury?"

⠀⠀⠀Bianca stared at the back of Rick's head in surprise. Andrea was in Woodbury, too? She had made it off the farm?

⠀⠀⠀"Right next to the Governor," Daryl said from behind them.

⠀⠀⠀Michonne had her sword in hand and looked ready to kill Merle. Bianca was rooting for her to make it, but Rick did the same as he did to Bianca and got in Michonne's way.

⠀⠀⠀"I told you to drop that!" Rick told her. "You know Andrea? Hey! Do you know Andrea?"

⠀⠀⠀Michonne directed her focus on Rick and then discreetly nodded in agreement.

⠀⠀⠀"Yep, she does," Merle mused with a wicked smile that all weird, perverted old men got when they thought of two women together. All that had to happen was being in the same room, and the smile would appear. Bianca sneered at him in disgust. "Her and blondie spent all winter cuddling up in the forest. Mm-mmm-mmm. Yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains."

⠀⠀⠀"Is it too late for us to do the same to you?" Bianca bit back at him.

⠀⠀⠀Merle gave her an amused smile, sitting relaxed on the ground where she'd knocked him over, then kept on talking.

⠀⠀⠀"Kind of ironic now that I think about it," he mused.

⠀⠀⠀"Shut up, bro," Daryl snapped while everyone stared in annoyance at Merle.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dying," Merle explained with a shrug.

⠀⠀⠀"Is that why she's with him?" Maggie asked curiously.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, snug as two little bugs," Merle laughed. "So, what you gonna do now, Sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards."

⠀⠀⠀"Shut up!"

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic!" Merle exclaimed, getting a rise not just out of Bianca and Michonne but everyone. He stood to his feet, looking around him with an amused glint in his eye. "All these guns and no bullets in them."

⠀⠀⠀"Merle, shut up!" Daryl screamed in Merle's face.

⠀⠀⠀"Shut up yourself!" Merle screamed back, the tone in his voice switching from amusement to anger in a second flat. "Bunch of pussies you roll—"

⠀⠀⠀Bianca slipped past Rick, taking the gun from his holster, then swung it across the back of Merle's head. He fell flat against the forest floor, and suddenly the forest was quiet. Bianca rolled her eyes, holding the gun back to Rick, who stared at her warily then accepted it.

⠀⠀⠀"Payback," Bianca muttered.

BIANCA AND THE rest of her people stood in the middle of the road to have a meeting about what they needed to do next. Cal and Michonne were asked to stay by the car while Merle stood in the woods.

⠀⠀⠀"Look, the Governor is probably on the way to the prison now," Daryl argued after everyone said Merle wasn't coming back with them. "Merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca hoped the night might clear Daryl's mind, but Merle working to help save his brother and Cal wasn't helping Daryl's inferiority complex.

⠀⠀⠀"Cal was the Governor's right-hand man. We can get information from him," Rick argued sternly.

⠀⠀⠀"Cal was what?" Bianca asked, staring at the two wide-eyed.

⠀⠀⠀"Later," Rick told her.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca didn't want to wait until later. However, if Rick knew how close Cal had been and wasn't bothered by it, there was likely more to the story they didn't have the time to explain. Bianca nodded, and they moved on.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm not having him at the prison," Maggie said firmly, crossing her arms.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth?" Glenn asked.

⠀⠀⠀"He ain't a rapist," Daryl defended, but it was hardly anything.

⠀⠀⠀"He'll beat a woman, though," Bianca snapped at him.

⠀⠀⠀"No, he was pressured by that governor," Daryl said, so sure of himself while at the same time not looking like he believed it. "They ain't buddies no more. Not after last night."

⠀⠀⠀"There's no way Merle's gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats," Rick told Daryl, shaking his head.

⠀⠀⠀"Not even that," Glenn said, darting his eyes between Bianca and Daryl. "Back at camp, he and Bianca used to get in screaming fights nearly every day. They'll kill each other."

⠀⠀⠀"So, you're gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?" Daryl asked defensively. He waved his hand toward the car, where Michonne and Cal stood watching them.

⠀⠀⠀"She's not coming back," Rick argued.

⠀⠀⠀"She did bring you guys to us," Maggie said with a concerned frown.

⠀⠀⠀"And then ditched us," Rick retorted. "Besides, Cal led us to the warehouse."

⠀⠀⠀"At least let my dad stitch her up," Maggie asked.

⠀⠀⠀"She's too unpredictable."

⠀⠀⠀"That's right. We don't know who she is," Daryl agreed, finding his in. "But Merle. Merle's blood."

⠀⠀⠀"No, Merle is your blood," Glenn retorted. "My blood, my family, is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."

⠀⠀⠀"And you're part of that family, but he's not," Rick added, pointing back toward Merle with a frown. "He's not."

⠀⠀⠀"Man, y'all don't know," Daryl said, waving them off. A pit started to form in Bianca's stomach as she stared at Daryl. He looked three hundred days younger, angry at the camp when he found out they left his brother on a rooftop. "Fine, we'll fend for ourselves."

⠀⠀⠀"That's not what I was saying," Glenn quickly back-tracked.

⠀⠀⠀"No him, no me."

⠀⠀⠀"Daryl, you don't have to do that," Maggie told him.

⠀⠀⠀"It was always Merle and I before this," Daryl surmised.

⠀⠀⠀"You're just... gonna leave?" Bianca asked, suddenly her world collapsing around her. The person that had been there since the beginning dumping her behind for the likes of Merle felt like a dagger in her heart.

⠀⠀⠀"You'd do the same thing," Daryl claimed.

⠀⠀⠀"No, I wouldn't," Bianca stated.

⠀⠀⠀"If they said Cal couldn't join, you wouldn't follow him?" Daryl asked, his expression unreadable as he waited for her answer.

⠀⠀⠀"Cal isn't a piece of shit who has nearly gotten all of us killed on multiple occasions," Bianca snapped back, clenching her fists until her nails drew blood from her palms.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl shook his head and walked between Bianca and Maggie to go for the car. Bianca followed after him immediately. She caught Cal's concerned look and held her hand out to him to wait. They stopped in the middle of the road, Daryl turning to her.

⠀⠀⠀"You're just—you're just gonna leave me? After everything?" Bianca asked. Her voice cracked, and the tears were already streaming down her face. It hardly took anything to get her started crying, the day being an emotional rollercoaster as it was.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm not leaving you, kid. I'm just going to be with my family," Daryl explained, and it broke her heart to hear him say that so easily. "Listen, I don't think this a coincidence. Cal and Merle in the same place? Something's telling us that we'll be okay apart. You got your family, and I've got mine, now."

⠀⠀⠀"No, I don't," Bianca claimed, clenching her teeth until it felt like they would shatter before continuing. "I love Cal, but you're my family. You—you..." she couldn't say it.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl's eyes softened, and he smiled ever so slightly to tell her he understood.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, I know, Bianca," he whispered.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl pushed a piece of her hair out of her face and then pulled her into a tight hug. Bianca held onto him tightly, hoping he would change his mind, and realize that the family he was looking for was here and not with Merle. But he didn't listen to them and pulled away, kissing her temple. He gave her one final smile before heading to the car again.

⠀⠀⠀Rick ran past Bianca, following Daryl to try and sway his decision, but Daryl's mind was made up. He got his things and left with Merle. Bianca watched until they were gone, and Rick walked over with a knowing frown. He didn't say a word, resting his hand on her shoulder, and led her to the van. Bianca got into the backseats, Cal beside her as he held her hand and didn't say a thing either.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca realized that nothing came without a price these days. She got one piece of herself back while losing another.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

In apology for all of my tormenting, I decided to edit and post this because I, too, have been waiting to post this. I hope you guys appreciate this (despite Daryl leaving... I think we all forgot that was coming :| )

SONG: Everlong by Foo Fighters

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.