CHAPTER ONE.
( welcome to forks. )

  THE ATMOSPHERE IN FORKS WASN'T PARTICULARLY warm, but it wasn't exactly cold either.

  Standing on the sidewalk, in the fading evening light, Shadow Swan decided that it was a comfortable medium— for now, at least. She sighed, savouring the cool breeze as it caressed her exposed skin. Inhaling the smell of wet pine and dirt, Shadow noted how Forks felt like it carried the heart of the earth.

  The air was such a rich, soothing scent and with everything going on, any form of comfort was welcomed. It was odd how the world on the outside could seem so calm. It was a stark contrast to the war waging inside Shadow.

  Since leaving the city she'd once called home, the Swan girl's mind had been in a state of chaos. A handful of hours later and she still couldn't quell the panic inside of her. What was she supposed to think? How was she supposed to feel?

  Her mother had just passed and now she was being forced to live with a relative she hadn't seen since she was thirteen.

  The entire situation felt almost surreal and yet, there Shadow stood; in Forks, Washington, in front of her uncle Charlie's house. Shadow's luggage (and anything else she'd wished to salvage from her home) surrounded the Swan girl in what felt like a barricade. As if it were all that stood between her and reality.

  Shadow tried to fight it. She tried to rationalize with herself, yet there was still a part of her that hoped she might wake up. She knew it was nothing more than childish ignorance, but it was a desperation she couldn't let go of.

It was an echoing need more than anything, and it wanted nothing more than to find out that everything had just been a terrible nightmare. A horrible dream. But, Shadow Swan knew better now. Her life had changed and she wasn't a child anymore.

Shadow blinked back to awareness. The cold that had once felt so soothing at first was now a stark slap-in-the-face. She wrapped her arms around herself.

This wasn't a nightmare, it was her life— and the Swan girl wasn't naive enough to wish for the impossible.

Dead was dead.

  Shadow looked up at her uncle's simple two-story with a gaze of indifference. It seemed welcoming enough and the town of Forks was an all-in-all quiet place. It had the kind of air that meant serenity, maybe even peace if she was willing to toe the line.

  Shadow immediately decided that she wouldn't mind it here.

  Slowly, the ginger made her way towards the front door. Shadow knew that she was going to have to face the inevitable. As much as she longed to go home, she couldn't. The home she used to know held too many memories; of grief and longing and pain...

  The past didn't matter anymore, Forks was home now.

  The Swan girl brought her fist to the front door and gave it a firm knock. In the silence that ensued, Shadow turned to study the street and the wide expanse of the yard surrounding the house. Not that it was much of a sight.

The constant cover of grey that clouded Forks seemed to wash out all colour from the town.

  Put off by the lack of life, Shadow turned her head and immediately found her interest piqued. To her right, she was surprised to find that the forest was alive. The vibrancy of the evergreens seemed to thrive, even in the ambiance of the weather.

It was a startling contrast that somehow managed to lessen Forks' depressing demeanour.

  It felt like a weight had been lifted from Shadow's shoulders. The longer she stared, the more memories the trees seemed to stimulate. Shadow could almost see her younger self dashing through the pine, playing a game of hide and seek with her cousin, Bella.

The Swan girl gave a sad smile. She hoped that her cousin would come visit. It had been a long time.

  "Hello?" Shadow turned, startled by the sound of a female voice. She plastered on a gentle smile with a practiced ease.

  Over the past few weeks, Shadow had become adept at painting her features. It was odd, how easy it was to pacify everyone's concern with a false turn of her lips. But, Shadow figured that it probably had more to do with their willingness— or lack thereof— to deal with an emotionally vulnerable orphan.

  However, the Swan girl found her smile falling as she was greeted by the last person she'd expected to see.

"Bella?" Shadow's words were no more than a surprised whisper as she took in the brunette who stood before her.

  Isabella Swan was taller than the last time Shadow had seen her and she had definitely grown to take after her father. There was no denying it. With her chestnut hair and dark brown eyes, Bella was a near spitting-image of Charlie.

"Shadow?" Bella's voice mimicked her older cousin's surprise.

  A smile quickly grew on Shadow's lips and Bella's features mirrored it. The pair quickly embraced each other in a hug. Their surprised laughter cut through the evening silence and something in Shadow's chest seemed almost whole.

Swallowing down the swell of emotions, the elder Swan stepped back to look over her cousin.

"I can't believe you're here," she breathed with excitement. "When did you come down to visit Charlie?" Shadow figured that must be why Bella was home.

After leaving her uncle, Shadow's aunt Renee had taken Bella and the distance had strained their daughter's relationship with her father.

  "I'm actually living with Charlie now," Bella explained. She looked almost shy admitting it as her gaze flitted away. Shadow didn't think it was that she was ashamed. It probably had more to do with feeling out of place. Being back in Forks again after all these years had to be just as disorienting for her as it was for Shadow.

  There was familiar pause then in their conversation and Shadow immediately braced herself.

  "How are you?" Bella asked and the elder Swan shrugged. In the days following her mother's funeral, Shadow had become indifferent to the question.

There was no reply to avoid the sympathy, so she played along, giving the same answer she'd given everyone else; ''I've been better, but I'm managing."

  It was short, simple, and most importantly; it got her through the less savoury conversations fairly easily.

  "But," Shadow cut in before Bella could say anymore, "I'm glad I'm finally here, especially if it means seeing you around." The pair shared a grin and, suddenly, this moment was something special to Shadow.

She'd gotten used to the days being on repeat, but this was different. Not only had Shadow been reunited with a childhood friend and her family, but this feeling of genuine excitement was something she wanted to cling to forever.

It was refreshing to feel something more again; more than hollow sadness, more than weighted grief. Shadow missed how easy this used to be. The smiling and laughing.

  "Come inside. Charlie's at work right now, so you'll have some time to get settled in." The sound of Bella's voice drew Shadow out of her sentimentality.

She quickly nodded, following her cousin inside with as much luggage as she could manage. As Shadow passed through the door, her eyes scanned the interior. The place gave her a nice, homey feel, though it wasn't really home.

However, Shadow had promised herself that she would suck it up and make-do with what she'd been given. Her uncle had been more than eager to take her in and she was thankful for that.

  "Thanks." Shadow said, giving Bella a smile as they came to a stop. The room they were in wasn't entirely bare, but it could do with some life. Shadow headed back out to retrieve the rest of her luggage.

By the time she'd finished putting everything into her room, Charlie had arrived. The greeting was, albeit short and awkward, but Shadow felt welcomed nonetheless.

  For the rest of the evening, Shadow threw herself into unpacking. By the time night had fallen, she was done. It was messy and unorganized, but at the very least it finally felt like a place that belonged to her. The Swan girl peered out through the window in her room, staring up at the moon as it illuminated the backyard in a soft glow.

So far, her uncle's house had made her feel more relaxed than everywhere else she'd been in the past two weeks.

  It was a nice change of pace from the stress that had been plaguing her since the funeral. Shadow turned away from the window, refocusing on preparing her school bag. She tried not to notice the way her hands shook. She didn't want to think about the day before, not when sleep was so close.

  With energy left to waste, Shadow got into the shower, allowing the water to soothe what was left of her anxiety. When she was done, she changed, ate the cold dinner Bella had saved for her, then collapsed on her bed and was out like a light.

→

  "Get up!" Shadow felt her body jolt awake. The sound of shouting set off every fight or flight instinct inside of her as she scrambled in her tangled blankets.

It completely slipped her mind that she wasn't living alone anymore and, in the midst of her panic, Shadow released a screech as she landed on the floor with a painful thud. Loud laughter followed the fall.

  Realizing what had happened, the elder Swan sat up to glare at Bella over the edge of her bed.

"I'm getting you back for that!" She called after the brunette, launching a pillow at the door where Bella easily dodged it. Still laughing at her cousin's misfortune, Bella fled the room before Shadow could further retaliate.

  Shadow collapsed back on the floor. She wished she could have been annoyed, but found it impossible as the smallest of smiles graced her lips. Today was a new day and there were too many things to look forward to.

The Swan girl untangled herself from the blankets and picked herself up from the floor. Throwing the covers back onto the bed, she rushed to get changed. The echo of last night's excitement pushed her to move quickly, but Shadow found the process proving haphazard as she struggled to remember which drawers held her clothes.

Unpacking so late might not have been the best idea, but at least she'd gotten everything done.

  When she finished, Shadow grabbed her bag from where she'd left it the night before. Hurrying down, she paused to peer in the small mirror by the front door. Shadow swiped at the mascara beneath her eye, giving herself another once-over before turning away from her reflection.

  She wouldn't lie, she was thrilled to be starting school somewhere new. This was a chance to start over and Shadow refused to let the glances and whispers follow her to Forks. She'd received enough pity to last a lifetime and Shadow was done being recognized as the sad, orphan girl.

  As Shadow Swan had quickly discovered, the death of her parents had the odd effect of making people look at her differently. The eyes could hold so many questions. It was sickening.

How is she still walking? How is she still smiling? How is she still okay?

  Shadow froze just before the kitchen entrance. She choked on the sudden, empty feeling that hit her square in chest. The hollow concave of some part of her that used to feel normal and human.

She tried to breathe past it, inhaling large breaths and exhaling slowly. Why did grief feel like slow destruction? What was more than that; why did it feel like dying?

  "Shadow? Is that you?" Bella's tentative question seemed to snap some piece of her back into place. Shadow took in a shaky breath, composed herself, then stepped into the kitchen with a smile.

Shadow wasn't going to let everything she had endured destroy this fresh start.

  Bella and Charlie were both sitting at the table, coffee in hand. Shadow's smile softened at the sight. They were more alike than either realized.

Shadow made her way to the cupboard. Pulling out a box of Pop-tarts, she didn't hesitate to stuff one of the packages into her bag.

  "What're you doing?" Charlie asked, brow raised in curiosity.

  From over her shoulder, Shadow glanced at her uncle. "Putting food in my bag, in case I get hungry in class," she explained simply.

Charlie seemed content with the answer and he nodded before returning to his coffee. Shadow had already taken care of her ride to school, so there were no offers from the table as they went about their morning.

  Thinking about her ride, Shadow looked away from her uncle guiltily. She could only picture his reaction when he discovered that her transportation wasn't exactly what he had imagined. Shadow decided it was best to escape before he could leave for work and find out.

Shadow gave Bella another smile, "See you later!" Before either relative could respond, Shadow was already rushing out of the kitchen. The moving company had e-mailed her that morning, which meant that Shadow's aforementioned transportation had finally arrived.

The Swan girl was both nervous and comforted by its presence. It meant that she could finally put her most prized possession back into good use.

  Shadow looked out to the driveway and smiled at the indistinct shape that was taking up space behind a rust-coloured truck. She could see the handles peeking out from beneath the tarp cover and it soothed what was left of the ache in her chest.

The motorcycle had originally belonged to her dad and he'd restored it before gifting it to Shadow on her sixteenth birthday. He said that she could upgrade to a car when she turned eighteen.

  Shadow felt her heart give another lurch inside her chest. Replacing her father's gift was unimaginable. Shadow treated her motorcycle like Dean Winchester treated his Impala, it was her Baby.

  Shadow didn't bother with the rest of the stairs as she jumped down from the porch. With little care for slipping on wet grass, she ran to her father's gift and flung the tarp off. Shadow shoved the cover into the back of the truck-rust-monstrosity, eyes on her motorcycle the entire time.

  The gleaming black paint glinted at her like it was saying, "Hello." Shadow ran the tip of her finger across the smooth surface of the machine and there was a fond smile on her lips as she did so. Her father's gift was something she treasured above all else.

  He'd told her, "You're almost an adult, you might as well kick off your last few years as a teen by doing something reckless."

  Shadow grinned and reached for the helmet that she had left strapped to the handles. Shoving it onto her head, she was quick to zip up her leather jacket directly after. The Swan girl was eager to speed off to school and— as she started the engine— she was filled with a rush of adrenaline.

  Charlie, of course, had no idea about the motorcycle, so Shadow found it safe to say trouble would be waiting for her after school as she revved the engine. But, to her, it was worth it. Shadow missed the roar and she wasted no time in racing down the expanse of road between her and Forks High.

  The ride was more than just thrilling— it made her feel alive. It wasn't as though the pieces of Shadow's life were back together. But, here on the road, she didn't have to think about who she was or the loneliness burrowed deep in her chest.

  She didn't have to think about anything at all.

  However, the experience was over too soon. Forks High was yet another familiar sight from Shadow's childhood, though she'd never been. Her family had moved out of Forks long before Shadow could finish elementary school. Simply put, things in Forks rarely change.

  Shadow pulled up into the school parking lot and was hardly surprised by the many faces that turned to stare. Attention wasn't new to her. She wouldn't say that she was a prominent figure in her old school, but she definitely wasn't someone people looked over either.

  Attention just came with the personality— and Shadow's fiery head of hair.

  The Swan girl parked her bike and took a deep breath. After unclipping her helmet, she gently pulled it off. It was bad enough with Washington's humidity, Shadow definitely didn't need the helmet making her hair any more unmanageable.

  When she was done checking her appearance in the motorcycle's rear-view mirrors, Shadow finally took to looking around the school courtyard. The response to her arrival was as she'd expected, so Shadow wasn't surprised by the glances stolen her way.

She didn't doubt that her enrolment was probably the most exciting news this school had heard in a while. Forks was the type of place where little happened and, for Shadow, that was perfect.

  Adjusting the strap of her messenger bag, she stepped off her bike and made her way towards the school's entrance. With every step, the Swan girl let go of any lasting nerves or stress from that morning. Here, at school, she knew better than to let a crack show in her cool facade.

  Forks High was going to be a fresh start. It was a place where Shadow hoped to become something stronger; something better and less naive than the girl she used to be.

  Here in Forks, Shadow had promised not to let herself stray from her task. She would graduate, get into a good school, and be out of Charlie's hands before she could become too heavy a burden. Honestly, Shadow just didn't want to risk the chance of trouble.

Nowadays, friends seemed like nothing more than a distraction Shadow had been doing perfectly fine without— not that it had always been that way. But, Shadow knew better than anyone how unpredictable life could be.

  And from the moment she laid eyes on the boy with a crown of golden hair, Shadow knew that any oath she'd made was void of meaning. All it took was a second. One single moment as Shadow Swan locked eyes with the walking enigma that was Jasper Hale.

Edited 02/09/2016 @12:55 AM
Edited 07/03/2016 @4:02 AM
Edited 09/13/2016 @12:16 AM
Edited 12/19/2016 @12:37 AM