The four heroes have all been badly shaken by the events of the Wyrm. Two in particular have been mostly affected. One who's grieving and regretting the loss of a close friend and one who was slowly drifting away.

SPOILERS: Fall of the Beasts series

Happened after "The Burning Tide," as you can see.

Requested by moonhartswinter. Enjoy!

-Conor-

I couldn't sleep. It was a cold and lonely night, the clouds covering the stars that comforted me each night when I herded sheep. I was sitting on Greenhaven's rooftop, my feet dangling from the edge where I sat. Obviously I would die if I move any further forward or if someone pushed me off. I was always the lonely one, the guy no one likes. I mean, who would like a simple shepherd boy like me?

Briggan was in passive state on my arm. I was almost tempted to release him but I didn't. I couldn't help it. I feel so guilty, so ashamed. Whenever I close my eyes, I could still its voice whispering evil thongs in my head, still see the pained faces of my friends as I fought them.

I was so tired. Tired of everything. Tired cause I couldn't sleep. Tired of the nightmares. Tired of the pitied looks I get. Tired of the scar that stayed as a painful reminder across my forehead. Tired of feeling guilty. Tired of everything!

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to clear my head. It only made things worse as I once saw it again. Tunnels, darkness, the evil voice, pained screams of terror, myself leading an army of the Many-

"Conor," I jolted out of my thoughts as I heard a voice. Her voice.

I sighed. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I didn't glance at her as I kept my gaze fixed on the water below. I saw movement to my left and I knew that she had sat down beside me.

"Conor," she repeated more gently and I tried to fight back the wave of anger, directed at her gentle tone, "Please... please talk to me."

I hesitated, "What do you want?"

I thought I felt her flinch. I never meant for it to come out that harshly.

But she answered, "I want to help you."

"Then leave," I muttered, "You'd be doing me a favor."

For a moment, she didn't speak, "Conor, this isn't you."

"Don't you think I don't already know that, Abeke?" I whirled on her, my eyes glaring into hers, "I know this isn't me. I know I changed. I was there when I changed, Abeke, and I don't need you to tell me that when you weren't even there! So just leave me alone!"

A look of hurt flashed into her eyes and I quickly looked away. A wave of guilt hit me but I pushed it away once more. The Wyrm had influenced my thoughts to making me think it was weak to feel guilt.

"Only the strongest in the pack survive," I remembered it say. Was I proud? It only made me feel more ashamed.

"I can't leave you," she replied quietly, "I don't think I can do that again."

"Then you better find a way to do so," I muttered darkly.

After a few seconds, she replied, her voice a little more harder, "Why don't you find a way to fight it, Conor? I was as much affected as most people in this war. It wasn't just you."

"You don't know what the Wyrm did to me," I growled at her.

"Maybe not but I know exactly what it did to Uraza," she snapped back, her eyes flaring, "It turned her into a monster. Someone I can't even recognize. Do you know what it feels like to lose the bond and have your spirit animal fight against you? No because for you, it was the other way around with Briggan!"

I flinched at that. More guilt crashed into me and this time, it was harder to push it away.

"You weren't the only one who got infected, Conor," Abeke went on, her voice still a little harsh, "but the others are actually making an effort to move on. There's nothing you could do turn back the time. What's done is done. I hate to be harsh with you right now but you just have to move on and stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

I didn't reply nor did I look at her. Because she was right.

My heart was hurting so much. The pain was so great that I actually clutched it tightly, trying to breathe.

I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder and I looked to see Abeke looking at me with a worried look, "Conor, don't hold it in. Just let it out."

"No," I croaked out and squeezed my eyes in pain.

I could still hear it, "Crying is for weaklings. You're a big boy now, aren't you Conor?"

"It's only going to hurt worse. Conor, please. Just let it out," her voice pleaded.

I finally snapped right then and let it all out. I let the tears run out from my eyes, the pain lessening on my chest. I felt a comforting arm around my shoulder, pulling me in. I didn't know how long I had been crying but Abeke may have been the first to see me besides my family.

I finally calmed down, taking deep breaths.

"You know, a wise person once told me," Abeke broke the silence, "Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It's being too strong for too long."

(A/N: Quote above and this quote isn't mine)

"I guess..."

"I just don't want to lose you too..." her voice trailed off and there was an uncomfortable silence in the air.

"I'm sorry," I told her, "I'm sorry for everything. About Uraza, about Shane, about being the worst friend right now-"

"Conor, I understand," she gave me a weak smile, "It had a big impact on you as well as me. I forgive you...just promise you'll forgive yourself. Please?"

I took a deep breath, "I'll try..."

Abeke stood up and hopped down away from the edge, "Come here."

I glanced back at her uncertainly put when she repeated it again, I sighed and did as I was told. We stood there for a couple of seconds, staring at each other before Abeke suddenly wrapper her arms around me into a tight hug. I didn't even realize she was crying until I heard the sobs coming from her. I hugged her back just as fiercely and we didn't pull away for a long time.

"I don't want to lose you..."

It was a small gesture but what she did next shocked me. She whispered into my ear, "...cause I love you."

- - -

DUDE THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I TYPED THOSE THREE WORDS (because of reasons). Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy, even if you don't ship Conbeke and ship Shanbeke instead.