An-"That morning, when I woke up... Was the first time I've ever felt so alone... You know the worst part? That feeling has never truly gone away." Quote

An-Tony saved Peter when he attempts suicide when he brings him back to the tower he refuses to talk. When he finally snaps the avengers are back from a mission

TW-Mentions of suicide and self-harm

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Freefalling, that's what everyone called it. Falling without a parachute, not having something to catch you. He was on top of one of the towers surrounding Stark Towers, and he didn't think twice before falling backwards, his arms spread out beside him. For the first time in a long time, he smiled, a soft lazy smile. He counted down the time in his head until he hit the ground, he had, of course, calculated it. But when he didn't feel the ground he blinked and saw the iron man mask in front of his face, he blinked several times before passing out.

When he finally woke up there were people rushing around him, asking him questions and telling him things. Instead of responding, he turned away from the people onto his side, facing the wall. They said something about seventy-two-hour watch int he med-bay. At least he wasn't in a mental health ward, that would have been humiliating. Tony was there too, but Peter refused to talk to anyone.

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When the team arrived back at the tower after a gruelling mission the last thing they expected was Tony trying to coax a teenager into eating a bowl of lucky charms. The boy just looked him in the eyes before turning in barstool away from him. Tony sighed deeply before putting the bowl down on the counter.

"Come on kid, just one spoonful." Tony pleaded the boy craned his neck to look between Tony and bowl before turning back to his lap.

"If you don't eat I'll have to get Bruce to put the feeding tube back in," Tony said, the boy turned to throw Tony a dirty look before pulling the bowl towards him, picking up the spoon gingerly. He had brown shaggy hair that hung past his ears, it clearly needed cutting. He was dressed in med-bay issued sweatpants and a plain t-shirt. His whole arms were wraped in bandages, along with most of his fingers.

"Atta boy, just a couple of spoon fulls," Tony said, the boy threw him another dirty look before shoving the spoon in his mouth, making a disgusted noise.

"I though Lucky charms were your favourite?" Tony said, disbelief lacing his voice. The boy made a huffing noise, making Tony frown.

"Who's the kid?" Steve asked, stretching his arms, getting a bowl for his own bowl of cereal.

"You want to introduce yourself?" Tony asked, the boy looked up at him and then back down into his bowl, he's gotten three spoonfuls into it.

"His names Peter, he's staying with us for the time being," Tony said, Peter cringed into his bowl, TOny's eyes narrowed, that was the most emotion he'd shown since it happened.

"Okay, and why's that?" Bucky asked, pushing past Steve to get to the stove. Tony turned to Peter who shrugged.

"Peter got into some trouble and needed someone to patch him up." Tony said, Peter looked up at him and frowned deeply, rolling his eyes before going back tot he cereal, which he was now picking at, "What do you want me to tell them?" Tony asked incredulously, Peter shrugged, pushing the bowl away. Peter rolled his eyes again before putting his head in his hands on the counter.

"At least, you ate something by yourself today, I don't want to have to restrain you again just to force you to eat toast," Tony said, Peter made another huffing noise through his nose, not bothering to look up at Tony.

"Why don't you just wait until he gets so hungry he needs to eat?" Natasha said, Tony sighed, throwing the sad remains of the cereal away.

"Because he has enhanced metabolism, and he's insistent of letting himself die." Tony said, Peter snorted, looking up at Tony with a mocking grin, "Don't give me attitude young man." Peter snorted rolling his eyes again and putting his head back in his arms.

"Sorry about him, he's not usually like this," Tony said, Peter snorted again from his arms.

"Why doesn't he speak?" Clint asked curiously.

"He refuses to, usually I can't get him to shut up," Tony said, Peter's head moved up to look at Tony again, this time his face was flushed with anger.

"Unless you talk I don't know what you want." Tony in a sing-song voice. Peter snorted again, rolling his shoulders and going to stand up and leave the room.

"No leaving the room without Bruce or me, you know that Peter." Tony said, Peter's face twisted, but he sat back in his seat, "Just stay in the seat kid." Tony muttered, Peter's eyebrows knitted as he stared at Tony's turned back.

"He needs a hair cut." Wanda remarked, Peter let out a small 'ha!'

"We can't trust him around the razer, he tries to turn himself every time we try to cut his hair," Tony said, frustration lacing his voice.

"Why would he do that?" Vision asked, Peter huffed, leaning his head on his hand.

"He's suicidal." Tony said simply, Peter made an annoying sound from his throat, making Tony turn around, "So now you're vocal. You understand how hard this has been for Bruce and I? Staying up all night so we know you aren't throwing your food back up? Or finding something to cut yourself on?" Tony said, Peter shot up from his seat.

"IF THIS IS SO HARD FOR YOU THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME HIT THE GROUND? WHY DID YOU STOP ME WHEN I CUT MYSELF?" Peter shouted, Tony stepped back in surprise, Peter hadn't talked let alone shouted since that night.

"Because I care about you," Tony said quietly, Peter pointed a finger at him.

"You do fucking not. If you cared you would have been there when Ned cheated on me, you would have been there when Flash blackmailed me with my nudes and released them, you would have been there when I got called a slut and whore every single day. You would have been there when May died, you would have been there when I got moved to the orphanage, you would have been there when I got beaten up after school that day! You would have been there when I needed you!" Peter seethed, his fingers curling into fists.

"But you won't talk to me!" Tony shouted, Peter shook his head, his face screwed up in frustration.

"You have no idea how hard I tried to get you to listen to me! All the phone calls and the text messages and you ignored every single one of them because Mark 82 was more important!" Peter shouted back, Peter took a step back, his chest heaving with the effort of breathing.

"The one person who cared about me no matter what and always believed in me is gone! And you can't replace her!" Peter continued, tugging at the bandaged on his arms.

"I've always cared! I've always believed in you! Even when you messed up!" Tony shouted Peter flung his arms around wildly, before tugging at his hair.

"Don't you understand?! Every time I succeeded all you said was that I could do better! Do you remember that fight on homecoming? Well I lied, he dropped the damn warehouse on me and the only thing that got me out alive was that thing you said. 'And I wanted you to be better' But how can I be better than someone who I've looked up to since I could talk! I tried so hard to impress you.

"I trained and took down the muggers and the rapists and the robbers, but none of it was ever good enough for you. Did you never once see that that was killing me?" Peter said, tugging on his hair harder. Tony crossed the room to take Peter's hands away from his hair but Peter jerked away from him, his eyes wide and breathing erratic.

"Don't, d-don't touch me!" He said, stepping back until his back hit the wall. Tony's face screwed up, his eyes darting around the room.

"Peter I need you to calm down," Tony said firmly, Peter hugged himself with his arms, his eyes darting around the room.

"Why can't you just let me die?! I want to die so bad, I want all the hurting, and the memories, and feelings to go away, I want to be numb!" Peter shouted, tears spilling out of his eyes and down his cheeks, Tony blinked at him.

"Because I care about you so much it hurts. I want you to be better than me because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. The one thing I never wanted was to be like my dad, and I did just that, I see that now!" Tony said, Peter just cried harder, his chin resting on his chest.

"I just want to go home. I want to see Aunt May, and Uncle Ben and my mum and dad again." Peter sobbed.

"I know buddy, but you can't die, not now, not until you're old and wrinkly and have a partner and kids who you love," Tony said softly, creeping closer to Peter.

"I feel so alone all the time like I'm in a room of people but everyone sees right through me." Peter paused to take in a shaky breath, "That morning, when I woke up after she died... Was the first time I've ever felt so alone... You know the worst part? That feeling has never truly gone away." Peter said softly. Tony could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks as he watched as Peter started shaking violently. Tony stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug, Peter slumped into his chest, crying into his shoulder.

"I need you to know that I love you so so much when FRIDAY told me you were stopped on that building I could feel my heart stop. I was so scared I wasn't going to get there in time. You have no idea how many nights I wished it was me up there instead of you. I wanted to take all of the pain and hurt from you and put it in me." Tony said, rocking Peter form side to side.

"When I got you back to the tower you were so small and light, you looked so peaceful when you slept, and then when you woke up you were so angry. I was so scared, Peter. I don't want you to die, because I don't know what I'd do with myself if you did." Tony said, running a hand through Peter's hair.

"Does it ever get better?" Peter said, muffled by Tony's shoulder.

"It does, but it will take time. The pain won't go away fully, but it'll be easier to deal with. You won't feel as empty and alone eventually." Tony said softly, his eyes becoming glassy.

"Will you stay?" Peter asked softly, Tony's heart broke at his quiet and desperate tone.

"Always," Tony said softly. Pretty soon Peter fell asleep in his arms, Tony sighed before picking Peter up bridal style. He turned to the team with tears in his eyes.

"He's hurting. He needs my help but I don't know if I can do it alone." Tony said, Steve stepped forward and took Peter from his arms.

"We can start by getting him in a warm bed without dropping him," Steve said gently, nodding for everyone to follow him, Tony couldn't fight the smile that made its way onto his face.

"What happened?" Bruce said when they walked into his room.

"He had a breakdown, I'll get FRIDAY to send it to you, you need to see it," Tony said, pulling the covers up his body.

"He talked?!" Bruce said incredulously, Tony nodded, taking Peter's hand in is own, Peter turned onto his side to curl into Tony.

"I think he's gonna be ok."