sorry for not updating! it was my cousin (the baby's) first birthday and we threw him a rugrats themed party!

and i have had a rough night so yaaay :-)))

anyway, hope y'all enjoy this chapter ♡

//

You and Miles spent every moment together from then on. Whether it was because you were both grieving Peter, or he had grieved previously and was there to help you through the stages, or because you both just got along that well, you weren't sure. There were a million reasons why you loved Miles and felt like you needed him around.

And lately, that was because he was just as eager to find out who killed Peter as you were.

You were angry. The anger had replaced your sadness. Whenever you cried, you dried your tears with the thought of absolute rage. Why had this happened to Peter of all people? Why did he have to lose his life?

Miles understood.

"It was someone who knew him," you said, holding your cup of hot tea between your cold hands. Miles was nodding, taking a sip of his drink. "Whoever killed him... he trusted."

"Why do you think that?" he asked. "He had a lot of enemies."

"I know, but..." You looked at him seriously. "Because he didn't fight back."

//

 "Who was he closest to? Who did he trust?" Miles was sitting on his bed, a notebook on his lap, a pen in hand. He started jotting down people he knew Peter liked. "Friends, coworkers, family members? Someone he didn't know disliked him?"

You felt sick. Was this seriously what it was coming down to? Marking down the names of anyone Peter ever cared for, picking through them to find someone who might have betrayed him in the end? To find which one he loved or trusted that killed him?

You shook your head. "I don't know. So many people loved him, Miles, I..." You rubbed your temples. "I just don't know."

"That's okay." He reached over and grabbed your hand. "Hey. It's okay. I mean it."

"I feel like I should know," you whispered. "Like... how do I not know?"

"Because you never thought it would happen," he said. "You didn't think to look for anything weird or off because this isn't supposed to happen."

"But it did," you whispered. "It happened anyway."

"It's like that sometimes," he said. "There's nothing I can say to make you feel better."

You looked at him. "And there's nothing I can say to help you," you said. 

"But we can figure out who did this and maybe get a little bit of peace after they're put away." He nodded. "Okay, friends from school?"

'Ugh, I don't know... Flash Thompson, Michelle Jones, Betty Brant, Ned Le-"

Your heart skipped a beat. 

Miles looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. "What?" he asked.

"Oh my gosh," you whispered. "Ned." Your eyes filled with tears, because you knew you didn't have to think of any other possibilities. 

It was going to be him.

The way he was acting different. Peter was worried about it. And that last look he gave him...

You sat down on Miles's bed next to him. "Oh gosh," you breathed. You shook your head slowly, the tears starting to fall. "I know who did it, Miles."

"You just know?"

"I do," you said.

"Just like that?" he asked. 

"I can't do this," you decided.

"Do what?"

"Ned was Peter's best friend. One day, he started acting weird. Peter would bring it up sometimes, but he never wanted to talk about it much. And when Ned finally met me for the first time, the look he gave me was... I could just tell it bothered Peter. And when the thing that killed him grabbed me and held me like that, tried to kill me... Peter risked his life to save me, but he also risked his life to keep from hurting the guy. I know for a fact that he would never hurt Ned, even if they weren't friends anymore."

"So you're sure?" he asked. He put a hand to his chest. "And I do believe you, I mean - of course I believe you. But if I'm going to track down this guy..."

You grabbed his forearm and shook your head. "No!" 

"What?" 

"No! You can't go after him. He tried to kill me, he killed his best friend-" You stood up off the bed, eyes wide with panic. "If he could kill his best friend just like that, then imagine what he could do to you. And I can't live with that, if something happened to you. I can't-" 

"Hey, stop," he said softly. He stood up and peeled your hand off of his arm. "Why are you so worried about me?"

"Because you're my best friend," you said, "and if I lose you, too, then I have nothing, Miles, nothing-"

"I'm not going anywhere," he said.

"That's what Peter said!" you half shouted, "and then he died. He left me without saying goodbye. And it nearly killed me, Miles, it did. And if I lose you too - gosh, I won't be able to make it-"

"___," he said. "I'm not going to let anything happen to me."

You dropped your head. "It's just - I lost Peter, and I realized that I don't have control over any of it. Anyone can either step out of my life or pass away and there's nothing I can do. I can hold onto them as tight as I can and still... they'll leave me. They'll slip away and all I can do is watch."

"I felt the same way after my dad passed," he admitted. "And it sucks, it does. But... it just makes you appreciate the people that are here with you more, you know? Without them, you're nothing. But with them... it's just like - like there's still hope."

He put his hands on your shoulders and met your eye level. He gave the faintest smile and said:

"I hope you know how much you mean to me."

You didn't know what to say, so you just wrapped your arms around him- and you both stood there, trying to understand how to be grateful for the grief that brought you together.