Comment: Prompt idea thing: Trans Peter? -SswolfsS

Um, Ive never really written anything like this before... and it was a little outside my comfort zone to write, but I can try.

I'm not against anyone who is trans I just don't really like/feel comfortable writing it.

Prompt: Trans Peter

.

.

.

OoOoOo

It's been quite a while since I had been on testosterone. Ever since 8th grade I began to take it. I always felt like I was born into the wrong body and I hated it.

For the longest time I felt like an outcast, I mean, I still am, but I felt so alone. I had no friends, barley any family, and not really any talents.

I was a lanky kid and a sad excuse for a girl  anyways. I was the kid who always sat alone at lunch, never had a partner for a group project, always picked last in gym.

My name was Petra Parker.

The kids from middle school realized that I began to change. They always laughed at me, embarrassed me, they even sometimes physically hurt me. But the emotional wounds were the worst. Even the teachers thought I was disgusting or treated me like an animal. They always looked down on me. I was the same kid, just in a different body. I could never understand why everyone hated me so much, so I found ways to make myself feel better. I had a best friend named Ned I met about ½ a year ago, ever since he began to see a difference in my appearance, he left me for a more popular, cooler group of kids. I couldn't even keep one friend by my side.

My name was Petra Parker.

Every day the taunts got worse. Ben and Aunt May would always come home to see me crying. I'd always tell them it's nothing, but they didn't believe me and started working more so they could take us more places together to make me feel better. Little did they know it only made me feel worse. May was always exhausted after working 12 hour shifts every single day, and Ben was always sore.

And it was all my fault. I was holding them back.

So, I cut.

I cut until I felt better.

Every day.

My name was Petra Parker.

The Oscorp trip happened, and a spider went free from its cage. I realized that a little bit too late though. It bit me on the back of my neck and I instantly blacked out. When I came to, I realized I was at a hospital, Ben and May at my sides. Turns out after I passed out, the teacher had to call an ambulance since they couldn't wake me up. At the hospital they found my cuts too, fun. Aunt May and Uncle Ben blamed themselves for my cutting. They kept saying they should of seen the signs, but it was my fault I hid it from them. It's always my fault. They decided to get me a therapist, which costed them even more money so they had to work even more.

What have I done? I physically and mentally exhausted my family.

My name was Petra Parker.

Ben was shot because I was too slow. I was Spiderman for crying out loud! I could have done something, but I didn't. He died in my arms. It was all my fault.

My fault.

He was like a dad to me. Everyone I love ends up dying and it tears me apart more and more each time. Uncle Ben was the wisest, sweetest, most loyal person I've ever met. And I just let him die.

So I cut.

More and more, I cut so much I almost passed out.

At the funeral I sobbed so hard I began gagging. I couldn't take it, knowing that I let him die.

All.

My.

Fault.

My name was Petra Parker.

Tony Stark was in my apartment today. He told my aunt I had applied for an internship at Stark Industries. I didn't. I didn't question it though. Turns out, he knew I was Spiderman and asked me to go to the tower with him. He wanted to apparently show me something's about being a hero. From that moment on, I knew life would get better. I got noticed by someone! Someone finally saw me as someone who helps, not a burden, nor a mistake. I hope it stays like this.

My name was Petra Parker.

It's been 6 months since Tony had come to meet me. He had introduced me to all the avengers and everyone. They all had seemed to accept me. It was the absolute highlight of my life to know I had a loving family who stood by my side through Thick and Thin. I loved them all to bits.

Until I over heard a chat.

They were arguing over me, saying how I shouldn't be a superhero. How I was too young, to weak, not smart enough to fight against bad guys.

How many people I had hurt.

I told them I had to go and left for weeks. My bad habits started up again and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. May couldn't keep paying for a therapist anymore without Ben around and she was always in a sour mood once she came back from work. She was tired. She was angry. She was upset. And it's all my fault.

My name was Petra Parker.

I sat on the rooftop looking down ready to jump. Nobody would miss me. I'm disgusting. I changed my appearance and everyone thinks I'm a monster. I don't know why everyone hates me so much but now, I think I know why.

And now I hate myself too.

I walked even closer to the edge, tears streaming down my face until I heard,

"Peter..."

I snapped my head around to see the Avengers standing behind me.

All of them had tears in their eyes and worried/ terrified looks on their faces.

"Peter step away from the edge..." Natasha coaxed.

"No..."

"Pete... you don't know what you're doing. You'll regret this." Steve spoke up with a shaky voice.

"Well what other choice do I have!?" I yelled through sobs.

"Pete, kid. This is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please Peter, you mean the world to me. Don't do this." Tony has tears streaming down his face as he slowly moved closer to me.

I stepped even closer.

"Leave me alone." I cried. "I'm a waste of space!"

"No, you're not Peter! Please step away from the edge baby spider!" Thor's voice sounded hoarse.

"You don't understand! I'm a freak! I'm fucking trans! I kill everyone I love! Everyone at school hates me, and I have no friends! Every time I try to make friends they always leave me. And you wanna know why? Because I'm a fucking waste of fucking space. Penis Parker, the trans orphaned loser! I can't take it anymore!" I was broken. I just wanted to die that second. So I turned around fully facing them and said my last words.

"I'm sorry."

And I jumped.

My name was Petra Parker.

I woke up to beeping in a room. It was loud and repetitive.

I opened my eyes to see to Avengers, my former family surrounding me. They all looked sorrowful, which I figured out why fairly quickly.

Penis Parker, couldn't even kill myself right. They told me things to cheer me up, and apologized for talking behind my back. They were apparently worried I  would get hurt in a fight and didn't want to see me in pain.

"I'm still a disgusting trans freak. You guys don't have to act like you care. It's fine, really." I told them.

"Peter, I don't care if you weren't born a boy. We love you, and that's all that matters. Trans or not, you're not a freak. You matter." Tony replied, tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.

I didn't know what to think so I smiled and closed my eyes. Do they really care for me?

My name was Petra Parker.

I was swinging around the city with the Avengers by my side. We were all laughing and flying around. (The ones who can't fly were carried) It was the most fun I've had in a very long time. I longed for the feeling of acceptance for a long while, and I finally feel like I belong.

My name is Peter Parker, and I am Spider-Man.

I hope you all liked it :) Please leave suggestions.