Dm: PLZ DO ONE WHERE THEY CATCH HIM TRYING OUT SMOKING I BEG YOU XD XD THAT'D BE THE MOST HILARIOUS THING TO READ ON THE PLANET

-Alabatrouz on fanfiction.net

This will be great! A light hearted fic after my angst is very much needed rn. Anyways, ENJOYYYYY MY PONIES.

Prompt: Peter experimentally tried smoking

Oh btw he's 14  in this and he has powers

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Would smoking affect me? Ever since I got bitten by that rancid disgrace of a living this, I haven't really been affected by things that would affect normal people. Vaccinations don't help anymore, getting stabbed can heal in minutes, and my asthma has gone away to. Not even amnesia medications work, which could be unfortunate is so many ways but, getting powers comes with a price.

I stood outside of the corner store on the way to Stark Tower to see my da-mentor to work on my suit. I had just often out f school and Happy had decided that I needed more exercise. But he knows I train for at least 2 hours a day, plus gymnastics. So I feel like he lied to me.

He loves me, he just has trouble showing it.

But as I looked in through the window of the corner store, I saw the cigarettes behind the counter. I inwardly groaned because I look 12 and they would never let me get a box. Fine, we'll have to be creative.

(3rd person POV)

Peter ran into the alley a few blocks away and changed into his Spiderman suit.

"Karen, turn on intimidation mode."

"Alright, Peter. I think the voice is very humorous."

"It makes me sound more manly." Peter said as he flexed in the broken mirror on the ground. Karen laughed as Peter ran towards the corner store with the money.

The bell dinged ad he opened the door to the store, and to avoid getting seen by many people he went straight to the counter.

The cashier seemed unbothered by the suit and just asked, "What do you want."

"One box of cigarettes please." The intimidation mode made his voice sound deep.

"Ok and that would be $10.05 (£7.68)." The clerk replied, not even bothering to ask for ID.

Peter hastily took the box and threw all his money at the clerk replying a quick thank you as he left.

Once he got the the Tower, he immediately went to Tony's lab to work on his suit.

"Hey Tony! So um feeling really tired so I-I think we should end this as fast as possible so I can, uh, *fake yawn* you know get more sleep, hehe, he........." Peter nervously rambled.

Tony looked at him quizzically and nodded. "Alright, just an hour.

The hour consisted of laughing and throwing things, only 10% of the time was used for actual work.

"Tony no!" Peter laughed as Tony tickled him.

"That's what you get for throwing that water bottle." Tony smiled genuinely. "Alright little man lets get you to bed. Tony looked down to check his watch. "At 5:00 pm (17:00)."

Peter was actually feeling a bit tired now that he thought about it and sleep seemed like a good idea.

"Ok, dad." Peter said not realizing it. He leaned against Tony and Tony lifted him up with a huge smile on his face. "Alright Bambi." With Tony's other hand he lifted Peters backpack onto his shoulder.

At Peter's room, Tony gently placed down Peter and put him under the covers, dropping the backpack on the floor. He gently carded (idk if that's a word but wat ever) his fingers through Peter soft locks of brown hair as Peter drifted to sleep.

"Night, spider-baby."

(HAH U THOUGHT IT WOULD END LIKE THAT. NOPE)

Peter woke up at around 12:00 am (0:00) which was a lot longer than he thought.

"Crap." He jumped up and locked his bedroom  door and his lab door. He would be going Ik his lab because the only way to get in was through his room and throughly the lab door which he locked. Plus, Friday doesn't work in there because recording the things in the labs would possibly leak some private information and Friday's voice could alarm the workers as they are working.

He went into a corner and pulled out the box of cigarettes from his backpack. Carefully and reluctantly, he took one out and analyzed it.

"I can't believe I'm about to inhale rat poison." Peter sighed. "You're dumb, Parker. The heck are you doing?" He said to himself as he took out a lighter from a lab drawer. And then he lit it up. See Friday was very sensitive and though he wasn't in the room, a tiny bit of smoke reached into his room alerting the Avengers, you know, unknown to Peter. Peter lit the cigarette and began to inhale. (Idk how smoking works.) he then opened his eyes and let out a breath but was startled to see Clint and Natasha standing in front of him. He jumped and threw the lit cigarette somewhere in the lab.

Their eyes were aflame and their eyebrows were furrowed with anger and Natasha's arms were crossed.

Clint then took a step forward, "Peter, What the fuck are you doing?" He demanded in a threateningly low voice. "I know that you were not smoking in this damn house. You didn't even bother to go outside!"

Oh shit, he hadn't. Yet again if he left the building Friday would have announced it.

He was screwed. He looked down, only for his face to be forced up by strong fingers.

Natasha's turn. She was furious. "You know damn well that I do not tolerate this behavior, Parker. You will NOT be smoking ever in your entire life." She then grabbed his ear and harshly pushed him into a chair at a counter. Peter was annoyed and ashamed.

"If I ever see you doing this shit again, I will not HESITATE to smack you silly. Do you understand?" Peter said nothing but rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I didn't even do any-"

"Yes you damn did," Came Clint's voice. It was loud and angered. "We will not have you ruin your life by smoking like a fucking idiot! Do you want to get fucking cancer?"

"No I-"

Suddenly, something exploded and made the three of them go flying across the room. Peter landed on his arm with a sickening crunch and Natasha and Clint hit the ground with a lot of force.

"Ugh," Came Natasha's voice as she jumped back up quickly. "What was that?"

"The damn cigarette was still lit. Fri, unlock all doors and let the team in." Natasha then looked back at Peter.

"Kid, you alright?"

Peter winced and replied, "Y-yeah. My arm just landed on some Captain Crunch cereal I left i-in here." Peter ribbed his head unconsciously.

Natasha then returned back to her annoyed demeanor and glared at Peter and went to go help Clint up.

"What's going on?" Tony said in a stern voice as he rushed into the destroyed lab, Steve, Sam, Wanda, and Thor in tow. He then looked around at the mess, "What the fuck happened to this lab?"

Everyone turned to Peter immediately. He looked down sadly and fiddled with his fingers as he tried to think of an excuse under all the eyes staring daggers at him.

"I-I-I uh-," He began, only to be lightly slapped by Clint. Peter glared and mumbled.

"What was that? Can't hear you, Peter." Natasha growled. Peter loves her but also felt threatened by her. Her glares could kill.

"I had a cigarette..." Peter hung his head again. Immediately after Peter said that Tony harshly grabbed Peter's face and forced him to look up. "Peter, What the fuck did you say." Tony said in a deep, unsettlingly calm voice.

"I had a ci-,"

"You idiot! That wasn't a question you're supposed to answer. God Peter, What the hell made you think you could do that!?" Tony scolded in his dad voice.

"I was just trying to see if it would effect me," Peter said in an apologetic voice.

"I don't give a damn Peter, smoking is wrong. You do not just do that because you're curious." Tony kept lifting up Peters head so that they would keep eye contact. There was a slight pause before Tony spoke again.

"No Spiderman for a month, no TV or phone for 3 weeks, and no going with your friends after school for 2 months."

"What? That's not fair!"

"Maybe you should of thought of that before smoking in my home."

"Bu-,"

"No but's Peter, now go in a guest room while we clean up this mess." Tony scolded in a loud voice. Peter grumbled and walked away.

Needless to say, Peter never tried anything that stupid again. Until he was allowed to be Spiderman again, and we know how that goes.