Season 2, Episode 4: Duets

Ownership of Glee: FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

= = =

Will walks into the choir room. "All right, let's, uh, let's gather around. Sorry I'm late, guys. I was with Principal Figgins. Bad news, guys. Puckerman's in juvie." He announces.

Violet sighs. "I swear I'll kill him."

Tina scoffs. "It really was just a matter of time."

Quinn looks confused. "What did he do?"

"He drove his mom's Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM." Will says.

Brittana laughs.

Rachel looks shocked. "And when is he getting out?"

"Unknown." Will answers.

"He might be the dumbest person on this planet, and that's coming from me." Brittany says.

"Guys! Let's have some sympathy." Will says.

"For a guy who put his needs before the team's? We need his voice and his bad-boy stage presence." Finn says.

Will shakes his head. "We can't look at this as, as a crisis. It's an opportunity."

Quinn looks at Will. "For what? Further embarrassment and humiliation?"

Will smiles. "For welcoming our new member... Sam Evans!"

Sam enters and Finn walks up to him. "There he is. How's it going?" Finn says.

Sam smiles at everyone. "Hey, everybody. I'm Sam. ... Sam, I am. ... And I don't like green eggs and ham."

Santana smirks. "Oh, wow. He has no game."

Finn smiles brightly. "Okay! This is gonna be great. You're not going to regret joining, Sam."

Sam smiles. "Oh, good."

"SAMMY!" Violet says and runs to hug the blonde.

Sam's taken aback but smiles and hugs back. "Good Lord Violet. You haven't changed at all." He says.

"Uh... how do you two know each other?" Kurt asks.

Violet smiles. "We've been pen pals since 3rd grade." She answers.

Sam nods. "She's my first female friend." He acknowledges.

Finn smiles. "That's cool guys. Sam, you sit right here." He instructs.

Violet shakes her head. "He's sitting with me, Kurt and Charlie." She says.

Sam smiles and sits with Violet, Kurt and Charlie. Kurt and Charlie flash him welcoming smiles.

Will smiles. "All right! Question for the group. What's a duet?"

Brittany smiles. "A blanket."

Will continues. "A duet is when two voices join to become one. Great duets are like a great marriage. The singers complement each other, push each other to be better. Now, some people may think..."

Kurt talks quietly to Violet. "Pssst! He's on team gay. No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993."

Violet rolls her eyes. "You're crazy, circa 2010."

Will finishes talking. "And that is what duets are all about. So, this week I want you to pair up and sing a duet. And, since you guys all seemed to love our little "Defying Gravity" diva-off, I'm making this a competition."

Mike perks up. "What's the winner get?"

Will smiles. "Dinner for two, on me... at Breadstix."

There's a collective gasp.

"Breadstix, yes!" Tina cheers.

Everyone chatters excitedly.

Santana looks at Brittany. "I have to win."

Brittany nods. "I know."

Tina smiles. "I love this idea! I love this idea!"

Mercedes looks at her best friend. "Who you gonna sing with, Kurt?"

The bell rings.

Kurt and Violet walk out of the choir room. Violet looks at Kurt. "Would you care if I sang a duet with Charlie? I mean, he hasn't really had a chance to shine yet in glee club, and I think it'd be good for him." She says.

Kurt smiles. "Baby I don't care if you duet with Charlie. I think I'm gonna duet with Sam." He says.

Violet smiles. "Cool. He's a loyal guy, but don't scare him. He's still considerably new."

Kurt smiles. "I promise not to scare him."

= = =

Kurt walks up to Sam at his locker. "Hi. I'm Kurt Hummel." He introduces.

Sam smiles. "Hey. You're Violet's boyfriend right?"

Kurt nods. "I just wanted to personally welcome you to the glee club." He says.

Sam nods. "Thanks."

Kurt can't keep it in any longer. "Just tell me." He says. Sam looks confused.

"Look... maybe at your old school, you could get away with the whole "I just stayed in the sun all summer" excuse, but I have three gifts: my voice, my ability to spot trends in men's fashion, and my ability to know when it comes from a bottle." Kurt says.

Sam shakes his head. "I don't dye my hair, dude." He denies.

"Yes, you do.  But it's just between friends. That's not natural." Kurt says.

Sam nods awkwardly. "I'm gonna... go... 'cause you're kinda freaking me out."

"Wait, wait. Maybe my instincts were a little off. Let me make it up to you. Team up with me for the duet competition. Listen, unless you team up with Rachel, I am your best bet at winning." Kurt says.

Sam raises an eyebrow. "Aren't duets supposed to be between, like, a girl and a guy?"

Kurt laughs. "Well, Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor would protest. ... 'Make 'Em Laugh?'"

Sam shakes his head. "Sorry."

Kurt sighs. "'Singin' in the Rain.' 1952. Nothing? Okay, maybe you are straight." He mumbles.

Sam looks even more confused. "What?"

Kurt panics. "Nothing. Listen, rent it. And then look up the menu for Breadstix online, and call me, because we are gonna win this." He says.

"What about Violet? Don't you want to sing with your girlfriend?" Sam asks.

Kurt smiles. "That's the obvious choice. But she's singing with Charlie instead." He reveals.

Sam nods. "So you let your girlfriend sing with other dudes?"

"Violet and I have been together for 7 months now and have been friends since elementary school. We trust each other enough to know we won't cheat on each other." Kurt answers.

Sam smiles. "Cool." He says and walks down the hall.

The bell rings.

= = =

Finn and Kurt are in the lunch line. "You can't do this to him." Finn says, referring to Sam and Kurt pairing up for the duets competition.

Kurt rolls his eyes. "You're over-reacting."

Finn sighs. "If he sings with you, you're painting a bullseye on his back."

"Once again, your closeted homophobia seeps to the surface like the contents of a cracked cesspool." Kurt says bitterly.

"Don't give me that. Look, I know I shouldn't have used that word in your basement, but it's not like you were innocent. I really like you, Kurt. But the fact of the matter is, the way you were all over me last year? If I did that to a girl, she'd take out a restraining order." Finn says.

Kurt shakes his head. "You have issues with me being bisexual, I get it."

Finn shakes his head. "No, actually, I don't. I have issues with the fact that you don't understand that no means no."

"I just want to sing with him." Kurt says.

"Then you don't give a damn about any of us. If he sings with you, I guarantee within a week he'll take so much crap, he'll have to quit glee club. Your call, dude." Finn says and then leaves.

Kurt sighs and sits down at a table with Violet and Charlie.

"What did Finn want?" She asks.

Kurt sighs. "He wants me to not duet with Sam."

Violet rolls her eyes. "Finn's such a damn hypocrite I swear."

Charlie raises his eyebrow. "Did I miss something? Why is it so bad for two guys to duet together?" He asks.

"It's not. Finn's worried that Sam will quit after a week if he sings with me." Kurt answers.

"Do I need to slap him again?" Violet asks.

Kurt shakes his head. "No. I'm going to do the right thing: Let Sam sing with Quinn for sake of Sam's reputation."

Violet smiles. "You don't have to do that baby. Sam's a big boy. He can take care of himself."

Kurt smiles.

"I know. I want to."

= = =

In the hallway, Karofsky and Azimio throw cherry slushees in Sam's face.

"Boom!" Karofsky says.

Azimio cackles. "Welcome to glee club, lady lips!"

Karofsky and Azimio walk away laughing.

Sam is frozen in place. Quinn approaches.

= = =

Quinn is helping Sam wash his hair in the sink in the girl's bathroom.

Quinn smiles gently. "The blueberry flavor is the worst, especially if it gets down your pants. I looked like a creature out of "Avatar" down there when I got slusheed."

Sam smiles. "I saw "Avatar," like, six times."

Quinn nods. "Oh... Anyway, you'll get used to it."

Sam looks at her. "You're the head cheerleader, why do you even bother? I mean, you don't need glee club."

Quinn smiles gently. "I like to sing... and the fact is, those guys were pretty cool to me last year when I wasn't on top. What's the point of being popular when you can't do what you want?"

Sam smiles. "Lor manari." He says. Quinn looks confused. "It means you have pretty eyes. It's Na'vi... the "Avatar" language. Lor manari."

= = =

That night, Kurt and Violet are fixing hurt his dinner at home. Burt's sleeping on the couch in the living room.

"First course is served. Heart-healthy vegan carrot soup with whole grain croutons, and you'd better eat all of it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find saffron in this town?" Kurt asks.

Burt sighs. "All right, let me eat this at the table. You could make a plaster cast of my ass with the cushions from this couch."

Kurt shakes his head. "Absolutely not. I am in charge of your care from now on. You had a serious arrhythmia, Dad. The doctors say you need to rest until your stress test."

Burt sighs. "You're my stress test. Guess this means I can't get salt?"

Kurt sighs. "Chin up." He says and tucks a napkin into the collar of Burt's shirt.

Violet walks into the living room. "Kurt? I've got the soup off the stove. I'm headed to the bathroom quickly. I won't be long." She says.

Kurt smiles and kisses her cheek. "Alright angel." He says. He watches her disappear upstairs and close the door behind her to the bathroom.

Burt takes this opportunity to talk with his son. "What's up? How's school?"

Kurt shrugs. "It's fine, I guess. There's this new kid Sam in glee club. He and I are singing a duet together."

Burt smiles. "I thought you'd be singing with Violet. Is that a problem?"

Kurt sighs. "I wanted to make Sam feel more welcomed into glee club by singing with him. Violet's singing with Charlie. But Finn practically begged me not to. He said it'd ruin Sam's reputation."

Burt nods. "Well, this kid Sam, uh... you know, does he play for your team?"

"Undetermined." Kurt answers.

"Oh. Maybe Finn has a point." Burt says.

Kurt looks offended. "You're siding with him? After what he called me in our basement?"

Burt looks serious. "I was talking to Carole, and you weren't totally honest with me. She told me that you were pushing Finn and you weren't afraid to cross boundaries. Is this true?"

"So a bisexual guy can't be friendly to a straight guy without it being predatory?" Kurt asks.

Burt sighs. "You got to understand that most guys don't know how to deal with unwanted advances."

"So you're saying I shouldn't sing with this Sam guy because it might upset a couple homophobes? I thought you said no one pushes the Hummels around." Kurt says.

Burt sighs again. "No one does. I'm, I'm not saying that. I'm, I'm saying that maybe it's you who's pushing this kid Sam around, trying to take advantage of him because you may be interested in him."

Kurt looks repulsed at the idea of liking Sam. "Dad, you know I'm in love with Violet. And secondly, you have no idea what it's like. I am the only openly bisexual kid at school, in this town. I just want to be able to hold hands with my girlfriend and take her to prom without someone calling her my beard."

Burt sets his food aside. "Come here." He beckons. "You think I don't want those things for you? I do, you know. I want you both to be happy. You and Violet were made for each other, Kurt. And she loves you more than anything in the world. Have you talked to her about this?"

Kurt nods. "She and Sam have been pen pals since 3rd grade. She told me that Sam can take care of himself. I don't know what to do." He says.

Burt smiles. "You'll figure it out."

= = =

Next day in the choir room, Sancedes perform "River Deep, Mountain High."

[River Deep, Mountain High by Santana and Mercedes]

Brittany looks on boredly; everyone else is rocking out.

Everyone cheers and applauds as the song ends.

Will celebrates. "Whoo! Ladies, nice work! What an incredible song!"

Brittany is shown biting a nail, still looking bored.

Santana smirks. "And just so you know, I've already bought custom bibs for me and Mercedes here. You know why? 'Cause we's be going..."

"To Breadstix!" They both say and they high five.

Will laughs. "You hear that, guys? You have your work cut out for you."

= = =

The next day, Will is looking at his students. "Okay, guys, so... who is up first today?"

Kurt raises his hand. "Mr. Schue, if I may?" He asks.

Will nods. "You may."

Kurt stands up and walks to the front of the room. "As many of you know, I had a duet partner, but due to sensitivities I'd rather not get into at the moment, I have dissolved the partnership."

Will looks confused. "Okay, so who are you going to sing a duet with?"

"Only the most talented member of the glee club... myself. When you're different, when you're special, sometimes you have to get used to being alone. I've asked a few members of the glee club as well as some Cheerios to help me out." Kurt answers.

Santana looks confused as well. "How can you do a duet by yourself? That's like vocal masturbation or something."

Violet bites back a laugh.

Kurt smiles. "I will be doing a number from the seminal classic movie "Victor/Victoria." It's a show about embracing both the male and the female sides. Watch and learn, Santana." He says and turns to Brad at the piano. "Hit it!"

Now the New Directions are in the auditorium, where Kurt performs "Le Jazz Hot."

[Le Jazz Hot by Kurt]

Britanny and Mike join him and other dancers on-stage. Will and the glee club watch from the audience.

Laughing, cheers and applause as the song ends.

Violet cheers the loudest.

"That's my boyfriend!"

= = =

Mike is nervous to perform with Tina the following day. "I don't think I can do this."

"It's the perfect song for this very situation." Tina says.

Will smiles. "Whenever you're ready, guys."

Santana nods. "Yeah, hurry up. I needs to get myself to Breadstix."

Brittany looks at Santana. "Don't count on it...I'm mad at you, but you're still so hot." She says. Santana looks bewildered.

Tina whispers to Mike. "Trust me, you're gonna be great."

Mike and Tina perform "Sing" using a chair as a stage prop.

[Sing! by Tina and Mike]

Cheers and applause as the song ends.

Will claps as he looks at the couple. "Now that is a duet! Thank you, Tina, for introducing us to the amazing voice of Mike Chang!"

Another round of applause.

Brittany smiles. "That was good!"

= = =

The next day, New Directions looks disturbed/confused/offended as Finchel, dressed as religious figures, perform "With You I'm Born Again."

[With You I'm Born Again by Finn and Rachel]

Mercedes is in shock. "This isn't happening."

Violet hides her face in sheer embarrassment. "Worst. Costume. Choice. Ever."

An awkward silence falls as the song ends.

Mike attempts a polite clap and Tina grabs his hands.

Mercedes breaks the tension. "Okay, do I even need to say it?"

"That was really rude." Sam states.

Tina nods. "Like... really rude."

"I seriously wanted to punch both of you." Quinn says.

"And that costume choice was extremely offensive." Violet says.

Will sighs in disappointment. "I have to agree. It's a great duet, but what you guys did with it was... really inappropriate. Your costume choice was a little insensitive. Frankly... I'm disappointed."

Rachel feigns outrage. "What?!"

Finn also feigns outrage. "Are you serious? I'm..."

"Shocked." Rachel continues.

"Shocked." Finn repeats.

Rachel nods. "We're... we're shocked. I... I really hope that this doesn't cost us the competition."

Finn nods. "Yeah, uh..."

Rachel looks at Finn. "Hey. Let's sit down. Come." She says. Finn and Rachel take their seats.

Will stands up. "Well, getting back on track, who's next?" He asks. Sam and Quinn stand up. "All right." Will says.

Sam looks at everyone. "Okay, I just want to say I'm really excited, and that I couldn't have asked for a better partner." He says and smiles to Quinn.

Sam and Quinn perform "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.

[Lucky by Sam and Quinn]

Santana looks disgusted towards the end of the song. "So freakin' charming."

They receive applause as the song ends.

The bell rings.

= = =

Will talks to New Directions the following day. "Okay! Since Artie and Brittany have dropped out of the race, I guess it's time for Charlie and Violet's duet before we vote." He says.

Violet and Charlie walk to the front of the room, where Charlie has a guitar in his hands. Charlie begins strumming the opening chords to Kelly Clarkson's 'Because of You.' Violet takes the melody, and Charlie provides stellar lower harmonies.

[Because of You by Charlie and Violet]

When they finish, everyone's cheering and clapping — Kurt, Sam and Quinn being the loudest ones.

Will smiles as he claps. "Guys... that was just beautiful." He praises.

The two friends smile and then sit down. Kurt smiles as he pulls Violet to his side. "You guys were amazing." He whispers.

Violet smiles. "So were you."

Will claps his hands. "Okay guys. It's time to vote."

The glee club writes down their votes.

Finn's Vote: Violet/Charlie
Rachel's Vote: Sam & Quinn
Kurt's Vote: Violet and Charlie
Violet's Vote: Kurt Elizabeth Hummel
Charlie's Vote: Sam and Quinn
Sam's Vote: Violet and Charlie
Quinn's Vote: Sam + Quinn
Mercedes's Vote: Mercedes + Satan
Santana's Vote: Santana and Mercedes
Tina's Vote: Tina and Mike
Mike's Vote: Tina
Brittany's Vote: Me!
Artie's Vote: Violet and Charlie

Will drops all the ballots into a hat. "Well, even though it looks like just about everyone voted for themselves – even those who didn't compete – we do have a winner. And the winner is... after breaking a tie by one vote... Charlie and Violet!" Will announces.

Santana is furious. "What?! What?!" She screams and jumps out of her seat. "Screw that, I want my 'stix!"

Mercedes pulls Santana down into her seat. "Ooh, let it go. Let go. Let it go!"

Santana scoffs. "Unbelievable!"

Rachel feigns hurt. "It was mine! No, I don't know how this happened. Unbelievable."

Mercedes is consoling Santana.

Kurt smiles as he kisses Violet in congratulations. "You got him his first competition win." He says.

Violet and Charlie smile as they take the passes for Breadstix. "Mr. Shue... being the good sports that we are, we want to give these to the duo that should've won. These should go to Sam and Quinn." She says.

Quinn looks shocked. "You guys won them fair and square."

Violet smiles. "We won the competition fair and square." She says.

"But you guys were the ones that tied with us. The second place duo should get the free Breadstix meal." Charlie finishes.

Will smiles proudly at his students showing humility and showing good sportsmanship. "Alright. Quinn, Sam, you heard 'em. Come get your passes." He says.

The New Directions smile and clap for Sam and Quinn.

Quinn looks at Sam. "This is so not a date." She says quietly.

Finn smiles at Rachel. "We did it, babe. We had a little help but we did it."

The bell rings.

= = =

Rachel appears at Kurt's locker that Friday. "Hey, I had something I wanted to talk to you about."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Oh, please not another pregnancy."

Rachel smiles. "I think that you and I are a little bit more similar than you think."

Kurt shudders. "That's a terrible thing to say. Especially with what happened last year. I'll never forgive you for that, by the way." He scowls.

Rachel sighs. "I know. But we're gonna win Nationals this year, and you know how we're going to do that? Because we have you."

Kurt closes his locker. "That's true."

"That's thirteen people who love you just for being exactly the way that you are. Look, you're not alone." Rachel states. Kurt smiles and looks teary-eyed. "So, I was wondering if you would maybe wanna sing a duet with me? I think you'll be really happy with my song selection. It's sort of everything that both you and I love."

Kurt looks confused. "But the, uh, duet competition is over."

Rachel smiles. "I know. I just... I thought this one could be for me and you."

The bell rings.

= = =

That afternoon in the choir room, Rachel and Kurt are singing a mashup of "Happy Days Are Here Again" and "Get Happy" in front of the glee club.

Violet smiles at Kurt. If he can put up singing with Rachel for 3 minutes, maybe the ex-sisters have a shot at forming a new relationship.

[Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy by Kurt and Rachel]

= = =

3596 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. River Deep, Mountain High - Santana and Mercedes
2. Le Jazz Hot - Kurt
3. Sing! - Tina and Mike
4. With You I'm Born Again - Finn and Rachel
5. Lucky - Sam and Quinn
6. Because of You - Charlie and Violet
7. Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy - Kurt and Rachel

This was so much fun to write!

Next update: The Rocky Horror Glee Show

2 episodes to Never Been Kissed
3 episodes to The Substitute
4 episodes to Furt
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