Season 3, Episode 16: Saturday Night Gleever

Ownership of Glee: FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

= = =

Blaine, Violet, Brittany and Mike are in class when Blaine suddenly begins to sing The Bee Gees' 'You Should Be Dancing.' The other three join in.

[You Should Be Dancing by Blaine, Violet, Brittany and Mike]

The four move the performance down the hallway, and the performance ends in the auditorium.

The New Directions clap for their friends.

"Wow, guys, what brought this on?" Will asks.

Blaine smiles. "Well, we know this year's nationals theme was "Vintage," so we thought we needed something old, but something with a lot of energy. So we thought: disco."

Will smiles. "Absolutely. I don't know if I ever told you guys this, but back when I was in Glee Club, we took it all the way to nationals with the pure power of unadulterated disco."

Puck sighs. "Um, well, there's only one problem with that idea."

"And what's that?" Will asks.

"Disco sucks!" Answers all the members of New Directions that aren't onstage.

= = =

"Kurt Hummel? Violet Corcoran?" Comes a voice. Kurt and Violet are talking at Kurt's locker when they turn around to find the source of the voice.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm your biggest fan. I've been to every last one of your performances, except West Side Story. I boycotted that one because you two weren't Tony and Maria." The boy said.

Kurt and Violet share an impressed look before Kurt walks over to the boy. "Why, hello, kind sir. I don't believe I caught your name."

"Wade Adams. I go to Carmel High. And I'm in Vocal Adrenaline, and I know we're supposed to be archenemies, but I swear, I'm not here to spy. I want to ask your advice about something." Wade says.

The three walk to an empty classroom.

"Our coach is Jesse St. James." Wade reveals.

"God, he's awful." Kurt groans.

Violet glares. "Jesse isn't that bad. Wade, if Jesse gives you a hard time, call me and I will whip his ass into shape." She promises.

Wade smiles softly. "He's nothing compared to the kids at school... or my parents. Do you know how I get through it? Ever since I was a kid, I would play this game where I'd pretend I was a different person, the person that I dreamed of being... the real me. I even have a different name: Unique."

Violet smiles as Wade continues to talk.

"I got so nervous, I almost didn't speak to you guys today. But then I thought, how would Unique do it?" Wade tells.

"Unique sounds like a really great person. I hope that, one day, you can build up enough courage to be him." Kurt says.

"Actually, Unique's a "her." That's why I want your advice. Our regionals are this Saturday, and I want to go on stage wearing a dress and heels. Because that's who I feel like I am inside." Wade says.

"Unique." Violet says softly.

Wade nods. "Yes. What would you do?"

Violet and Kurt look at each other.

What would they do?

= = =

The New Directions walk into the choir room to see that the floor has been taken over by a Plexiglass floor.

"Did someone steal our floor?" Brittany asks.

Will smiles. "Don't worry, we'll have it back by the end of the week. In the meantime, Sue has lent us her..." He's cut off by Sue herself.

"...my very own personal, one-of-a-kind, lit-from-within, shatterproof, Plexiglass dance floor. Modeled, of course, on the dance floor immortalized by a young, musky John Travolta at the height of his potency in the legendary dansical Saturday Night Fever." Sue says.

"Coach Sylvester, while we applaud your proper use of the terminology, we told Mr. Shue we do not support disco in this room." Rachel says.

"Ah, but some of you do. So for this week's assignment, we are going back in time... to the songs of 'Saturday Night Fever.'" Will instructs.

"Come on, Mr. Shue. That's, like, a record our parents listen to." Finn complains.

"That album, teen Solomon Grundy, is one of the best-selling soundtracks of all time." Sue tells Finn.

"Tony Manero's story is your story. He's a guy who works at a paint store, struggling to figure out his life. And the only time he feels sure about himself is when he's performing on the dance floor. He has a dream. To get out of his old neighborhood in Brooklyn and get to New York City. And by the end of the movie, that's what he's done. He's turned his dream into a plan." Will summarizes.

"So why the dance floor?" Kurt asks.

"Well, Porcelain, because we're going to start with a dance-off. And the winner will receive a replica of John Travolta's iconic white polyester suit, which I am having a cadre of expert Viennese tailors painstakingly reproduce." Sue answers.

Kurt looks at Violet. "Oh, my God, I need that suit!"

"Oh, I bet that's worth a lot of money." Mike comments.

"I would totally put that suit on... eBay." Puck says.

"So you just want us to start dancing like Soul Train-style?" Mercedes asks.

Will shakes his head. "Uh, no, actually, Sue and I will start us off. We actually met with Joe, Violet and Blaine beforehand. Just get up when you're ready. And everyone has to participate. Everyone, Puck. All right, hit it."

Will, Joe, Blaine and Violet perform 'Night Fever.'

[Night Fever by Will, Joe, Blaine and Violet]

Everyone takes turns dancing, and Violet whistles when Kurt does a cartwheel.

When the song is over, everyone claps.

"Okay, officially, officially, you guys are amazing." Will tells his students. "I was just conferring with my co-judge, and our three finalists for the suit are Santana Lopez... Mercedes Jones... and... Finn Hudson."

Everyone cheers for Mercedes and Santana, but get confused when Finn's announced as one of the finalists.

"Congratulations Finn!" Violet says proudly.

= = =

Mercedes performs 'Disco Inferno.'

[Disco Inferno by Mercedes]

New Directions cheer for Mercedes.

"All right, I have an announcement to make. Contrary to current opinion, I do have a dream. See, my dream is Mariah. It's Whitney — rest in peace. It's Aretha." Mercedes announces.

"Those are people. They aren't dreams." Will counters.

"My dream is to be like them. To sing big, fat, juicy, number-one hits that inspire people. But... how's that supposed to happen, even if I move to L.A.? I don't know what to do... or where to go. It's scary to even think about moving all the way across the country." Mercedes explains.

"Well, I mean, I'm moving to New York, Mercedes." Rachel inputs.

"You'll have somewhere to stay. You'll... You'll have something to do. You have two parents that support you. And my dad is a dentist. He thinks my dream is unreasonable and insane. You know what, he's right. I don't know the first thing about getting a recording contract or a manager." Mercedes realizes.

"The cream always rises to the top, Mercedes." Will comments.

"Yeah, I'm cream in here, Mr. Shue. But what if, out there, I'm just... skim milk?" Mercedes asks.

Violet definitely doesn't think Mercedes is skim milk.

= = =

Violet and Kurt have been called to Sue's office. "Porcelain, Violet, have a seat. Traitors." Sue says.

"What are you talking about?" Violet asks.

"As you may as well know, I have a large portion of this school bugged and wiretapped. I am already pushing the very limits of physics by joining forces with Will Schuester. And you repay my help by giving tips to the enemy?" Sue eyes the two ex-Cheerios.

Violet shakes her head. "Oh, no, that's not what happened at all."

Kurt nods. "Wade was asking us for advice, because he wants to wear a dress and perform at Regionals as his alter ego Unique, an-and we didn't think it was a very good idea."

"It's not a good idea. It's a great idea." Sue comments.

"But Coach Sylvester, this is Ohio. I don't think many people are gonna be down with that." Violet warns.

Sue nods. "Exactly. He'll tank them at Regionals. And then New Directions will coast to a win at Nationals. I happen to have a pair of 13 wides right here."

"Where did you get those?" Kurt asks.

"They were autographed by my good friend Janet Reno. And she wore them on the day they caught the Unabomber. Deliver these unto Unique. Get him to cram his hamhocks into these platoons
at Regionals, and we'll be well on our way to a National Championship." Sue instructs.

Violet takes the shoes and looks at Kurt worriedly.

If they did this and Vocal Adrenaline lost their Regionals, Violet would feel guilty.

= = =

Santana performs 'If I Can't Have You.'

[If I Can't Have You by Santana]

Everyone cheers.

"Incredible. And I could see exactly where you were going with it. This was more than just a beautiful love song to Brittany. It's also a powerful way to convey your dream that marriage equality will someday be a reality for everyone, and you're off to law school to make it happen! Amazing." Will assumes.

"Of course I want marriage equality. And yeah, Brittany will always be my girlfriend. But my mistress is fame. And that song was all about how I can't live withouts my fame." Santana says.

"Then I'll have to say I'm disappointed in you. Fame is not something to aspire to." Will comments.

"How about you save the lecture for the theatre nerds that are gonna starve in New York while desperately trying to tap-dance their way into the chorus of Godspell? No offense, Hummelberry." Santana says to Kurt and Rachel.

Violet frowns as Santana continues. "And everyone can stop their hating, because you all want to be famous, too. The only difference is that I'm a thousand percent sure that I'm actually going to be famous, just like I'm a thousand percent sure that our man child piano player keeps a petite Eurasian locked in a trunk underneath his bed. Sorry, James." Santana tells Brad.

"Write this down — 'cause there will be a quiz — I'm gonna be famous. If it's the last thing I do." Santana remarks before walking out.

"Santana..." Violet says.

It must be serious if Violet can't get Santana back into the choir room.

= = =

Violet and Kurt go to Vocal Adrenaline's Regionals competition on Saturday.

"I feel horrible. We should never have given Wade those high heels." Kurt laments.

"Look, there's still time to stop it. I mean, he wouldn't actually go out like that. Would he?" Violet asks her boyfriend.

"Well, Finn dressed up like Lady Gaga, and I never thought that would happen." Kurt comments.

"Yeah you make a good point." Violet says.

Wade hasn't dressed as Unique yet.

"Oh, thank God." Kurt mumbles. The couple walk up to him.

"Hey, Wade! We just came by to tell you to break a leg. And to make sure you're still dressed as a guy." Kurt says.

Wade smiles. "Not for long."

Violet sighs. "Look, Wade, I know we sent you those shoes as a good-luck gesture, but w-we talked it over, and you can't do this."

Kurt nods. "I admit that I've worn some flamboyant designer outfits, but I've never dressed up like a woman." He admits.

"That's because you identify yourself as a man. I thought you, of all people, would understand. I'm wearing them." Wade says seriously.

Just then, Violet hears the voice of one Jesse St. James.

"Wow. Look who Schuester sent to spy on me. The shortest stack of pancakes and the pasty-faced ghost boy. Come on." Jesse says and drags them out of the dressing room.

"Get your hands off me Jesse. We're not spies. We're friends of Wade's." Violet says.

"Really? All the more reason to fire him after the show." Jesse reveals.

When Jesse lets them go, Violet pinches his ear like a mother does to her child. "Ow! Violet that hurts! Let go!" Jesse whines.

"Are you going to fire Wade after the show? Hmm?" She questions.

"No-No ma'am." Jesse says.

"Good. Now get back to the audience and watch the damn performance before I make sure you can't have kids." Violet promises.

Jesse runs away from her.

Kurt looks impressed. "I've never seen him run so fast."

Violet smiles.

"I missed the idiot."

= = =

Kurt and Violet are backstage at Vocal Adrenaline's Regionals, watching them perform 'Boogie Shoes' with Wade dressed as Unique.

[Boogie Shoes by Vocal Adrenaline]

Kurt and Violet are cheering while they watch from the wings of the stage.

"Get in the groove Jesse or I'll neuter you." Violet says in her friend's ear.

Jesse reluctantly starts dancing.

= = =

Monday rolls around, and Kurt and Violet talk about Unique's performance at Regionals.

"I cannot believe Unique pulled that off. There's something to be said about the power of a dream." Violet states.

Kurt nods. "Mm-hmm. He took a risk and it paid off. But I guess that's just having a dream."

Violet smiles as they share a short yet sweet kiss in the hallway.

= = =

Will smiles as he has Santana, Mercedes and Finn walk out in their polyester suits.

"Even in polyester, I feel like a million bucks in this." Santana comments.

"So what now? What do you want to do?" Mercedes asks.

"You know what I want to do?" Finn asks.

"What?" Santana and Mercedes ask.

Finn smirks. "I said, do you know what I want to do?!" He asks New Directions.

"What?" New Directions asks.

Finn smirks. "Strut."

The New Directions, plus Will and Sue, sing and dance to 'Stayin' Alive.' Everyone's wearing polyester suits.

[Stayin' Alive by New Directions]

= = =

2298 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. You Should Be Dancing - Blaine, Violet, Brittany and Mike
2. Night Fever - Will, Joe, Blaine and Violet
3. Disco Inferno - Mercedes
4. If I Can't Have You - Santana
5. Boogie Shoes - Vocal Adrenaline
6. Stayin' Alive - New Directions

I enjoyed writing this episode.

Next update: Dance With Somebody

2 episodes to Choke
3 episodes to Prom-A-Saurus
4 episodes to Props
5 episodes to Nationals
6 episodes to Goodbye